In an evolutionary manner, female sexual freedom wipes out male desire for marriage. Each new generation has to be different from the previous; sexual activity marches earlier and broader across girlhood. Thus, feminist-inspired sexual freedom escalates in the blotting out of marriage as the customary way of living together.

Men win with plenty of unmarried sex, by not having to marry to win a woman, and by living without vows to keep their hearts and minds dedicated to one woman. Women win with endless opportunities for sex. Their gender loses the unconditional respect of the male gender. Women lose opportunities to raise children under the legal wrappings of marriage. Women lose more respect of men, because many conquests makes men disrespect the female gender. Women live their lives without anyone caring about their uniqueness as individuals or being subjected to ever-increasing male dominance in the social and domestic arenas.

Feminists ridicule and devalue virginity and promote openness of sexual history in order to boast of female sexual freedom. Such behavior loudly proclaims that women are primarily what men want first, that is, easy to yield. It attacks men by weakening the ego-stroking and self-admiration of hard-fought and hard-won contests of getting a woman into bed. Feminists begrudge the male ego, but the process of proving sexual freedom devalues females for vow-enhanced marriage much more than it hurts men.

After a woman yields, her sex partner is not nearly as interested in finding out just exactly how unique she is from other women. So, her yielding makes him more temporary than aimed at permanence with her. The Marrying Man seeks to marry an unique woman, one that upholds his self-image as deserving of the best available. Her uniqueness accumulates with her other virtues when she protects her sexual assets with self-dedication that can be admired by a man. Her self-defense is more respectable and admirable than her virgin or other status and thus makes her more unique and more attractive as potential wife. He’s more concerned about her future fidelity than past events.

Grannies knew this but feminists taught women not to listen to them or mothers. Yielding sex excites a man for more. However, desire expires when romantic love fades, if not before and perhaps vice versa.

A man’s conquest destroys a female’s greatest asset because it’s her most male-sought feature, namely their first sex together. By not forcing men to accept her sexual restraint, she can’t turn her self-dedication into what men admire most and call virtue. The greater is her resistance to a man’s conquest, the greater he expects her faithfulness to him as boyfriend or husband.

Men marry for the promise they see in a woman and virtues top the list of desirables. By yielding without marriage, she loses her partner’s diligence to discover more about her likeability and other virtues. To every man she yields the first time, she makes herself less worthy of his respect, of less interest for long-range courtship, and less desirable for marriage with him.


P.S. Two conquerors face off even before the first date. The strategy of virtual virginity, described in two dozen articles listed in the CONTENTS page, strengthens a woman’s determination and reinforces her dedication to conquer him before he conquers her.


Filed under How she loses

15 responses to “1898. TO YIELD OR NOT TO YIELD?

  1. The Shrinking Black Girl

    This why I place men in two categories. The ones for sexual enjoyment, and the ones that are marriage material. The problem is that women try to get marriage like commitment from men who are only goof doe sexual adventure, and they try to get sexual adventure from men who are the marrying kind. Now of course there are rare breeds of men who have both qualities, but most average women won’t be able to snag men like this for the long term. Bad boys for fun– Good guys keep your legs closed. Its so simple!

    • Some Other Guy

      The good guys who are the marrying kind are becoming aware of this problem. the problem is that if a man performs very well on a date, leaves a very favorable impression, but inadvertently trips too many good guy / relationship guy triggers, his date puts him into the **”he’s too good for sex. I’m going to make him wait category”**. And she will take sex off the table lest the guy get the wrong impression about her. In other words, these guys’s **reward** for being an awesome date with future potential, is that they get locked out of sex with a date. Where-as if they act a little more arrogant and impudent, sex seems easier to get.

      YMMV but 2 of My friends are well aware of Shrinking’s game plan., actively play down the good guy bit and play up the bad boy bit hoping that they do not get put into the relationship category on dates. Now obviously my friends are not focusing for a relationship. They will be happy if they stumble into one, but it is not top priority.

      They were none too happy about being placed into the wrong box, just because they acted like a quality man. But they adapted.

      Sir Some Other Guy,
      Yep! I know three guys that adopted that practice in the late 1970s. For the same reason too, quicker and less obligated access. Another example of how women are bluffed into throwing in the winning hand.

      • The Shrinking Black Girl

        Hello Some Other Guy:
        You said: “… In other words, these guys’s **reward** for being an awesome date with future potential, is that they get locked out of sex with a date. Where-as if they act a little more arrogant and impudent, sex seems easier to get….”

        Any guy whom a woman sees as marriage material isn’t going to get “locked out of sex” — This is a perception that only a male seeking sexual conquests would have. The fact is, because men tend to think less of a female if she has sex with a man, and from this springs all forms female sexual dishonesty. Because shame NEVER creates virtue it only hides vice.

        “…if they [men] act a little more arrogant and impudent, sex seems easier to get…”

        Well… sometimes yes and sometimes no. Just like some men can sniff out a female faking innocence, its even easier to detect men who are playing at Alpha. Women are hard wired to sexually lust after dominant/alpha men. However, many of those men will remain out of marriage reach for the majority of women. Myself being one of them. So when you already know that you don’t have what it takes to hold down one of the studs, you have your fun with them and settle down with a nice guy aka marriage material.

        I don’t really understand your reply, however since your freinds aren’t wanting a relationship anyway. Are you saying that these guys would have happily married a girl that had sex with them? Or is it that because she is no longer a virgin, she is not entitled to make them wait?

        I am so grateful for the men who don’t have this mind set. I don’t judge the ones who do, but my God does men desire for purity creates as much havoc as womens desire for the perfect Prince Charming.

        • Some Other Guy

          Hi Shrinking: “”Any guy whom a woman sees as marriage material isn’t going to get “locked out of sex” — This is a perception that only a male seeking sexual conquests would have””

          Not entirely true. What I mean is that my friends may or may not be looking for Mrs Right, depends on the girl in question. But my friends laugh at the irony of having to be careful to not be perceived as Mr. Right. If that happens getting sex becomes more difficult because the girl will want to appear more chaste around Mr. Right. That was my point.

          You are entirely right that women can sniff out the fake alphas. Men can sense this about other men as well.

          “””I don’t really understand your reply, however since your freinds aren’t wanting a relationship anyway. Are you saying that these guys would have happily married a girl that had sex with them? Or is it that because she is no longer a virgin, she is not entitled to make them wait?”””

          My bro’s do want a relationship. They are divorced so yes, they do expect that getting to sex would not be drawn out. And since the women they date are often divorced, they actively dislike women that play too hard to get. Even if these women had Mrs Right potential. My bro’s feel that these women may have hang ups or unhealthy attitudes towards sex. They are not looking for fixer uppers. On the other hand, they are men, so if the woman was hot, all of that logic goes out the window and a whole different set of rules apply.

          If I were you, I wouldn’t get too worried about men holding your past against you. It bothers some men a lot. It’s a valid concern for them. A girl who has slept around in the past is likely to do so again. Patterns of behavior are remarkably consistent. This is why most dieters end up gaining it back.

          But most men over 30 realize you have a past. What matters to them is that your actions in the present day give them no cause for worry. If you have a bunch of men as FAcebook friends, you get texts from men, you encourage other men to flirt with you, then a man will start to question things. Contrast that to, If you behave like you would rather die than be around, date, sleep with another man, your boyfriend will not worry so much. OTOH, if you use other men as a jealousy weapon, then expect a man to use your past as a weapon as well.

          • Cocoa

            Some Other Guy, you mentioned: “because the girl will want to appear more chaste around Mr. Right.” Would the same apply the other way round, meaning, would a man also want or try to appear as ‘Mr Right-like’ around a woman who he noticed that she is chaste or that he is possibly interested in?

            • Some Other Guy

              Absolutely. This is where the magic is at for women. And this is exactly the big message that Sir Guy preaches and it really works. When a guy discovers that his date is chaste and that she values her sexuality, it sends a very clear message to the man. He can either get in line with her leadership, or he can try to break her resistance down. She needs to stay strong on this. He will respect her more if she does.

              The girl has all the power to set the expectations for how the man needs to behave. That power comes from the guy wanting her sexuality. He’s gotta play by your rules to get what he wants. A man who is truly interested in you will do nearly anything and everything you ask of him, BEFORE you first sleep with him. You lose some of that power after first sex.

              I would argue that for older and or divorced women, the ability to hold a man off is lessened. Many guys are just not going to wait around super long for a previously married woman. It depends on how smitten the man is for the particular woman. Sir Guy’s son wrote a great story on this site about how powerful this can be.

              • A.GuyMaligned

                If interested in Guy Jr.’s story mentioned by Some Other Guy, the series is listed in the CONTENTS page titled, “WWNH: Real World….”

              • Cocoa

                That what I though. It is powerful alright! And I can see it unfold everyday.

                See he first started flirting and silly comment here and there, I smile (or sometime not) and turn and go. Sometimes drop semi-sexual comments, I leave instantly. Then offers of chocolates, lots of chocolate, sometimes accept gratefully and sometimes refuse with a smile and a thanks. All the sudden the tone changed and the stories changed and the shared interest changed. Start sharing personal vulnerabilities. Sharing his future plans (nothing to do with me of course as nothing is disclosed).

                We as modest and chaste women, whether in a relationship or not can change men around us and make them WILLINGLY step up to our standards. Now, no more silly flirty comments, sexual hints is completely out of conversations. It’s a win win for me.

    • ironic

      Why don’t you just keep your legs closed for all men and just give the GOOD GUY what he deserves. I would rather give a GREAT GUY what he deserves than giving bad men a part of me they DONT DESERVE.

  2. Anon...

    I wonder where its going to end up: women raising sons without permanent fathers in the home; a bunch of passive/aggressive males that have NO IDEA what a man is. Its already happening among many in the millenial generation-soft males, even in speech, and OUERGROOMING-threaded eyebrows, etc and more sexual confusion

  3. KittyHawk

    Then why do I know of so many exceptions to this rule. In fact, I really don’t see a reason to marry unless someone wants children. Which I decided when I was about 13 and have never changed my mind. I have been with my boyfriend for 20 years, and we knew each other five years before sex. If he leaves me now, he would have left me anyway married or not.

    Your Highness KittyHawk,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    You’ve brought us to apples and oranges.

    Your Apples: You justify your life and that of others on a decision made at age 13? Perhaps you rationalize to justify your own exceptionalness. You imply that knowable exceptions and your success should work for everyone, and it perhaps could for some.

    My Oranges: Exceptions always exist, but is it the best path for women? If marriage is only for having children, what does that say about 1) their individual worth, 2) anxiety-prevention of women when their greatest fear is abandonment, 3) men turn against marriage because they can easily find something else, and 4) men being as trustworthy without as with marital vows? How are women better off when they can but don’t govern the culture to the advantage of women and children?

    You describe the way modern women have been conditioned to think over the past half-century. It’s man-think but you imply your practice will work for everyone. I suggest that women by their very nature know better. Otherwise, over the millennia, they would not have built and sustained marriage as the best way to mate up. So, I focus on and describe the female nature as God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize females. Their nature, when they self-loyally refuse to be guided by man-think, motivates women to seek marriage for their own success with life, that is, a brighter future. Marriage doesn’t guarantee it but offers the best opportunity and chance. When women abandon their nature, they adopt masculine ideas, values, and attitudes and the process neutralizes their superior leadership ability and influence in the setting of social and do-mestic values.

    No animosity intended. I hope your relationship continues successfully.


  4. Anon...

    What i mean by sexual cmfusion is LGBT-Q children en masse

  5. boomer babe

    I’ve just saw something sad that some teen girls have tn go thru. I saw something on Huffpo (huffington post) that parets should have SEX PARTIES instead of slumber parties.(the same ones who let them ink up their FOREARMS. Im glad daughter is 18 and so far, a virgin)
    To me, it sounds like single parents giving up on their KIDS completely! Most teens want their parents to take a stand and they are ACTING OUT

  6. ironic

    Hi Guy, l totally understand what you are saying but l also grew up in a strict culture and ALL the women (my fathers sisters) who married were virgins but the men they married were horrible (including my father) and did not respect the women at all. Some got drunk all the time, some never held down a job, some were criminals and were in trouble with the law, some were child molesters and sexually assaulted women, some were super aggressive, demanding and abusive emotionally, physically and spiritually, some were womanisers and cheaters, some were controlling and jealous. Growing up l watched these women and wondered why they would ever want to get married. I must come from a VERY dysfunctional family because l never saw a woman get respect from her husband because she was a virgin. All l saw was men that l could never respect. All I ever saw was men who demanded respect no matter how they behaved. My aunties and mum were obedient, cooked and cleaned but l never saw a happy marriage. There was no feminism were my aunties grew up only a mans way or the highway. This profoundly effected my trust in men. Growing up l figured l would only have one child so if l ever needed to l could bail because l could raise one child on my own if l needed to. ( i was thinking this way as a teenage girl) So why didn’t my mothers virginity and aunties virginity pay off?? Or in my mothers culture women were expected to be virgins so its no reason for respecting the women because most of them are virgins??? I get what you are saying but don’t get how it didn’t benefit the lives of the women l secretly ended up despising for their lack of back bone.??

    Your Highness Sally,

    It’s hard to tell. I don’t know what cultural values overpowered the nature of the men and women in your experience. For example, parents picking mates could cause it.

    However, virginity serves three main purposes. First, a long platonic courtship forces the guy to dig deeper into who and what she is so he can expedite conquest. He becomes more aware of what he wants out of her, how she can fit in his life and support what he intends to do with it. The ‘becoming aware’ process unwittingly teaches him to either respect her more or prepare to dump her before or after conquest. She’s in charge of making herself his marriage target while she holds his attention with virginity. God designed it to work charmingly except as women soften their natural hard-headedness or harden their soft-heartedness while holding the dominant position.

    Second, the more he comes to see marital worth in her, the more he wants to make sure he out-competes his peers. They can’t have her, but he can, and the prospect adds to his self-admiration and sense of significance.

    Third, when most women are virgins, wife-threatening sex isn’t available outside the home. It helps stabilize marriage, because whores don’t capture a man’s emotional faithfulness, which naturally happens to be a greater fear for women than physical infidelity.

    Men and women are born to do good and be compatible as mates. When they do good, they become good, and that makes them better mates. That you witnessed so much incompatibility does not change their natures.


  7. I am now puzzled by the dynamic of a woman and a man shacking up for some period of time . . . and then getting married.

    The more I consider this, the more puzzled I am. Based on the principles outlined in this blog, that should not be happening, but in some situations, it seems that yielding to a man’s desire for sex does not end up in a woman being kicked to the curb.

    And I would say in some cultures that a woman not being a virgin at the time of marriage is not a big deal.

    I went to a post-wedding party for a couple from a culture in which arranged marriages are very common. The bride was very pregnant. My assumption is that when the husband’s and wife’s families agreed about their marriage, they saw the union as a done deal. If there was sex and pregnancy before the official marriage, no problem. Of course, in that culture, there were two families and thousands of years of religious tradition to keep the agreed-upon marriage on track.

    Point here is that, in some situations, sex before marriage does not seem to lessen a woman’s opportunity for marriage.

    Your Highness Entwyf,

    You say, “in some situations, sex before marriage does not seem to lessen a woman’s opportunity for marriage.” Of course exceptions always exist. The last stats I saw, however, pointed to this; when shack up couples marry, 80% end in breakup. So, you can always take a chance.

    Keep this in mind. When a man shacks up, he lacks respect for her sufficient to love her adequately and lacks devotion to her sufficient to marry her. It then raises this question. If she’s willing to settle for less than her supreme objective, how does she gain more of his respect and earn more of his devotion sufficient to hold a post-shack up marriage together?

    It’s all the more fatal for successful marriage if shack up occurs before romantic love fades, which happens a year or two after their first sex together. Shacking up thus undercuts the formation of post-romantic enduring love in which sex plays only a minor role unless denied.


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