1902. Compatibility Axioms — #31-40


31. Female independence gained through masculine-style sexual freedom makes marriage dwindle in importance, vitality, longevity, and appeal to men.

32. Feminism brought into the home changes the natural and cooperative battle of the sexes into an unnatural and competitive war of the sexes.

33. The more that wives take feminist theory and dogma into the home, the more that husbands decide the kind of husband or ex they will become. Feminism is foreign and abrasive to the point of incompatibility with male nature.

34. Successful adult relationships depend upon the lessons girls learn while teaching boys to honor feminine values, standards, and expectations. Popularized and rampant teen sexual activity short-circuits the process. It enables men to win and women to lose as relationships fail and male dominance dumps women into the recycle bin.

35. Women expect men to be more romantic, but romance slows a man’s conquering nature. Except when forced by circumstances or desire to honor females with manly spell-binding charm, romance to males means foreplay or prelude to it.

36. Men are not naturally romantic. If not ‘trained’ to habitually romance her before marriage, he won’t do much of it afterwards.

37. Boys first learn romance by watching father affectionately romance mother without sexual implications. Later, they learn from girls who inspire manly romance by withholding foreplay and women withholding sex, which forces guys to find and learn new ways to use charm, persuasion, and romantic stimulation.

38. If a guy won’t cherish her and honor her expectations before conquest, he sure won’t afterwards.

39. Girls can protect their chastity with the same élan, dynamism, dedication, and silence on the subject as if they were still virgin. When left to their imagination, virtual virginity mesmerizes boys as does the real thing. Women have the same choices, since virtual can substitute for real virginity and be used to hold a man’s attention while feminine mystique, female modesty, and standards of morality capture his devotion.

40. Self-development is the primary mission of toddler boys. More independent than girls, boys start and know how to go about it. Unless taught otherwise, they know they 1) are handy, 2) can be better, 3) intend to prove it, and 4) will find ways to demo their “adult-ness.” Development slows or jumps off track, however, under poor or excessive nurturing in toddlerhood and poor or excessive parental leadership between first grade and puberty. Both of those parental shortcomings shift 1, 2, 3, and 4 toward things undesirable for parents.

 

5 Comments

Filed under Dear daughter

5 responses to “1902. Compatibility Axioms — #31-40

  1. Anon...

    Now I know why young men dont put their arms around their girlfriends in public. Young girls who use this webdite are miles ahead

  2. Brown_eyes

    Hi Mr. Guy!

    I have a question for you, this happened to a friend and I was wondering how you would have managed the situation: Mrs. X is married to Mr. X and they have a little girl together. They had been on the car traveling for like 6 hours and it was late and they were all tired. They finally arrive at the home of the parents of Mrs. X. Mr. X suggests to go to a fancy restaurant to treat his parents-in-law and also because he wants to eat there. Mrs. X wants to go to a kid-friendly place because the little girl is coming too, and the Mrs. wants to enjoy dinner too, not just watch the little girl at the fancy restaurant. In the end they go to the kid-friendly restaurant, but Mr. X is angry at Mrs. X.

    Do you think it would have been better for Mrs. X to let Mr. X choose the fancy restaurant, so Mr. X would be happy?

    Or do you think it is better Mrs. X got her way this time, even if Mr. X got angry, because the little girl enjoyed the kid-friendly place and Mrs. X got to relax?

    Thank you so much!

    Your Highness Brown_eyes,

    Yes, it would have been better but not for the reason you cite. You got your way, which is okay and men like to please their woman or expect to lose a few to her. But, he saw something different. You elevated daughter’s importance above him. Not good in your case, so I suspect you do it frequently. You may want to reconsider.

    This suggested rank structure can guide women in such dilemmas. Husband comes first as if he’s the CEO, wife comes second as if she’s the COO. Their roles are dominant regardless of family size. The roles of mother comes third, father fourth, and children fifth. Each reports to the role on the left. Yes, mother reports to herself as wife because her marriage outranks the family (except for emergencies, of course). Father remains largely out of the way but advises or resolves conflicts between mother and children.

    Mom’s continual dilemma is caused by the need for her to consult herself as wife before she makes decisions about kids. She’s the relationship expert and interposed in the middle precisely because she is the one best capable of weighing family needs vs. husband’s expectations for their marriage.

    Guy

    P.S. It’s now hours later and I see that I responded incorrectly. Please take my response to apply to Mrs. X.
    G.

  3. Brown_eyes

    Thank you! I see your point and I understand it, but I have a hard time accepting it, maybe because I wouldn’t be getting my way if I was this imaginary married lady. But if you say that a husband should let wife win once in a while then it must not be so bad to get away with one of these every so often.

    Your Highness Brown_eyes,
    There’s a glitch in your thinking. Men want to please their wives, but they quit easily when they figure out that their wife always has to have her way. As the relationship expert, your attitude doesn’t closely match the cooperative spirit that men expect for marital success.
    Guy

  4. Anne

    Sir Guy, I have the toddler boy described in 40. He loves to be handy (unloading the dishwasher for me in the morning, closing the fridge door for me anytime I open it, etc.) and he also loves to explore (including in dangerous ways at times!) I intervene only when he’s doing dangerous things — otherwise I try to give him a great deal of freedom and thanks for whatever he does that’s handy (like trying to unload the dishwasher). He eats it up!

    But the issue is that he will not obey me. He will only obey his dad. Dad only has to say it once. I can say it until I’m blue in the face and it doesn’t affect him. It helps that I sometimes CANNOT physically make him do as I say (for example, if he doesn’t want his diaper changed he WILL NOT cooperate and I *can’t* hold him down. He is a bruiser and I’m quite a petite mom. He knows I *can’t* make him do some of the things he doesn’t want to do. He smirks as he walks out of the room.)

    I have had to call my husband at work before to ask him to tell our son to sit down in the carseat because I physically cannot wrestle him down. Dad says, “Do what mom says!” and the boy does it! But I feel I’m doing something very, very wrong. Do you know what it might be??

    (Please note: my son is not even 2 yet!)

    Your Highness Anne,

    You’ve put your baby in charge of your life. His subconscious is being wired to disrespect you forever. If you don’t make him do as you intend now, you will not be happy with how he develops. Later he will know exactly when he can ignore you as mother, parent, leader, teacher, friend, nurturer, or whatever roles you fill in his life.

    It’s time for what people call tough love. You have to toughen yourself. Find way to take charge and remove your dilemmas. If he won’t sit in the car seat, abruptly pull his legs out from under him and do it with determination. Your ‘petiteness’ doesn’t excuse not doing the right thing FOR THE CHILD. Don’t try to wrestle him. Instead, outsmart him and use jerking motions that teach him he’s not stronger than you. Hold him in place until he learns he can’t overpower you. Or plop him down in his own messy diaper and leave him until he’s uncomfortable.

    Complain to yourself. If you have so little self-respect that an early toddler can overpower you, you need to help yourself by yourself. As the mother, you inherited the responsibility to teach right and wrong, good and evil, and self-discipline. Fathers teach obedience by backing up mom’s discipline. But that’s the normal way. Now, for you to recover, you need to teach obedience by yourself. You can learn it. Your child responds to your husband’s (probably) commanding voice and manner more than his words not fully understood by the child.

    Incidentally, the boy’s charming you by helping you is no excuse. You may believe that love conquers everything and that your nurturing will eventually pay off with what you expect. Get a grip. You’re wrong. It’s never good nurturing to forgive wrongful behavior. If you don’t think his behavior wrongful except to you, we’re back again to your own lack of self-respect.

    Guy

    • Anne

      Sounds great! I can see how this is affecting other areas of my life, too. Will work on it starting now!!

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