1932. Compatibility Axioms #221-230

221. As the expert, she either drives the relationship bus or pitches herself under it.
222. Women wrongly expect their man’s words to program his heart. Not true. His actions program his heart. His words are a reflection of and as reliable as his character.
223. To her, his lack of words speaks more loudly than his actions. Quite the opposite of his view. [106]
224. She appreciates his providing/protecting actions, but she appreciates his words more and especially if they are complimentary, affectionate, and appreciative. That’s her primary reason for being with him, to receive such words as confirmation that their future together remains on track. [106]
225. Of course, it’s not fair. Women that seek equality dealing with men will likely spend a lot of time recycling as an ex. (It’s Nature and modern values are at odds.) [107]
226. She must respect him above all else for who and what he is and does. Each incident of nagging, fault-finding, and indifference works against it. [107]
227. She must be grateful for who and what he is and does. Affection and love do not register with him as her gratitude. [107]
228. His ego and sense of significance are the same. Demeaning his ego discredits his significance. It’s his greatest fear, especially insignificance in his woman’s eyes. [107]
229. A man expects to succeed at husbanding and fathering. Her actions that apparently recognize his success provide enough reward. Her confirming words are not nearly as effective. [107]
230. Rewards for her are fewer than she expects in the short-term. Her major rewards come over the long haul as her indispensability for home and family matures. [107]


Filed under Dear daughter

2 responses to “1932. Compatibility Axioms #221-230

  1. My Husband's Wife

    Another batch of great wisdom in this post. This one is interesting:
    230. Rewards for her are fewer than she expects in the short-term. Her major rewards come over the long haul as her indispensability for home and family matures. [107]

    Would the problem today be that so many women are wanting those “short term” rewards from their man? And those rewards which women want are not quite how men naturally give (such as hearing expressions of love and being romanced)? It seems as if a lot of women want that instant gratification from their man which prevents them from giving freely, which then prevents long enduring love from developing…or not?

    Your Highness My Husband’s Wife,
    I think you are exactly right. I would add this. Girls and women seek instant gratification and short-term goals about many other things in life than just their man. For example, newlywed indebtedness for diamond, honeymoon, dream home, and ‘perfect’ furnishing. Practicality is foreign and not domestic.

  2. jodi

    What actions would be included in #229? Thank you!

    Your Highness Jodi,

    Actions such as delivering a refreshment after he mows the lawn, a special kiss on the cheek for doing something extra for you or children, the promise of good time in bed after he does an onerous-for-him errand for you.

    Connect your actions to his having earned it. So, if he does something that is normal duty for him—e.g., take out the garbage—then just give him a pretty smile. Remember this: Men do not appreciate unearned gifts and so rewarding him for performing normal duties goes unappreciated.


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