1955. Virtues, Promise, and Mating

  • As women go, so goes society. When men do not admire feminine qualities, they see less promise in women as mates, they pay less attention to female values, standards, hopes, and dreams. In response, they dominate women and children more disrespectfully and aggressively.
  • Men appreciate but do not admire a woman’s display of her sexual attributes. Sizes and shapes may vary but every woman is equipped with the ultimate target for hunters. It does not make a trophy. Why should men admire what is so common? Consequently, her virtuous qualities far outweigh her sexual assets for both getting and staying married.
  • A woman’s need of romance is not a virtue; men appreciate but do not admire her need. Fulfilling romantic notions is more of what he has to do. It is seed planting, prelude, and foreplay and usually in that order unless a woman yields easily.
  • A woman needs both the warm mood and symbolic importance that romance provides; good results greatly please her. A man first needs the mood to initiate romance; it’s a way to achieve something else—please her, prove his interest, win her favor, enjoy her company, relax in her closeness, recover from his mistakes.
  • When she harshly expects her man to react to her or pressures him to get her way, she stifles his initiative. His resistance and the backpressure of masculinity uncover this truth. Her will to prepare (e.g., seed planting and indirectness) is more important than her will to succeed (e.g., competing and insisting too much). That is, if she hopes to succeed getting more attention, affection, admiration, and even romance,
  • Men may not admire neatness and uniquely feminine appearance at the degree that women expect. Men have different tastes, compete among themselves, and thus differ over what they admire. They definitely do not admire carelessness, sloppiness, or the lack of feminine traits.
  • Women tend to dislike this part of the male nature. To admire something is to want to possess it. In man-think, marriage enables a man to possess a woman, which enables him to take her virtues for granted. The more effectively she uses the qualities that he admired in courtship as her promise for a life together, the less attention she appears to need beyond the altar. He paid her price and now she is trouble-free for him. (Equal? Apparently not. Fair? Only if she finds balance in her gratitude for all else that he represents for her. Disruptive? Yes, if she is unable to find enough gratefulness to satisfy her mind and reprogram her heart. In his mind, he is not taking her for granted. He is merely trying harder to make himself more effective pursuing his various missions in life that include her well-being. If she expects him NOT to take her for granted, she should find a pre-conquest way to motivate him accordingly. Lengthy courtships provide the time to encourage changes in his expectations and for him to form new habits.)


Filed under Dear daughter

14 responses to “1955. Virtues, Promise, and Mating

  1. Some Other Guy

    ””As women go, so goes society. When men do not admire feminine qualities, they see less promise in women as mates, they pay less attention to female values, standards, hopes, and dreams. In response, they dominate women and children more disrespectfully and aggressively.””

    On the contrary, I do not believe that men dominate women in the slightest these days. Most men are terrified to even speak to women for fear of getting hauled into HR and fired for some sexual harassment thing. Women initiate most of the divorces these days. Most husbands have zero leverage in the relationship and have little recourse when the wife wants a divorce. Say hello to financially ruinous amounts of alimony and never getting to see the kids. I cannot tell you how many of my circle of friends and acquaintances got the “I love you but I am not in love with you” speech before being evicted from their homes. These men are not losers in any way shape or form. Yet they were powerless to do anything about this.

    Masculinity is being portrayed by society as evil. TV shows laugh at the bumbling dad. Men getting sued for harassment, reprimanded and hauled into HR, divorce raped in court. Male achievement is not celebrated. Normal men ask themselves why bother achieving. Why be the leader. We are all equal here right? Shouldn’t the women lead things now? Why should I take the risk of being the leader when there is no reward?

    I believe that the rate of marriage is way down because the legal system is making marriage too high of a risk for many men. Men get married primarily to score a steady supply of sex. Even that is not assured today. I am in no way condoning spousal rape. But even in marriage a man can get hauled into jail if there is a misunderstanding about her saying no.

    Sir GUy, I probably took this in a different direction than you anticipated. But you comment about male power struck a chord with me.

    Sir Some Other Guy,

    You are right on to what is happening in modern society. Thank you for the input.

    As to disagreeing with me, we’re on different circuits. If you recall, I write about human nature in the raw as if people are born as adult; it’s their default traits and differences that I describe.


    • Catherine

      “Normal men ask themselves why bother achieving.” -Sir Some Other Guy


      A management team studied a man’s work performance decline and genuinely tried different things to help him. He’s voluntarily leaving the company soon, with no new job lined up. His wife is starting a new high status job very soon and will be gone traveling a lot.

      There seems to be a fair amount of writing and discussion about how to motivate employees. Before feminism, employees were probably more motivated by the achievement of providing for their families. I read a fun little thing somewhere recently about single female household employees from many years ago being allowed to save up feathers from the farmyard to make feather beds as gifts for their future husbands. 🙂

      • Some Other Guy

        “”I read a fun little thing somewhere recently about single female household employees from many years ago being allowed to save up feathers from the farmyard to make feather beds as gifts for their future husbands.””

        That is adorable. There are lots of men out there who would appreciate that. I dated a girl once who had a hope chest. Anybody know what that is? I was horrified at the time because I didn’t see the relationship going that way :-).

        • Catherine

          LOL! 🙂

        • Catherine

          What made you think the hope chest was for you? 😉

          • Some Other Guy

            @Catherine – You make me laugh. But I kind of knew it wasn’t for me. It was going to be for the man who would commit to her. I was 16 years old, she was 18 at the time. What floored me was that a girl would be so in love with the idea of being married, even tho she didn’t necessarily know who with. Boys have no idea that girls dream of marriage like this. AFter she explained what a hope chest was for, I recall looking at her she was a martian are something.

            My wife (not the same girl) confirmed this for me years later. Yep, all girls dream of their wedding and the wedding dress, etc etc.

            Now, well into married life, I can see that these dreams of marriage a big help in establishing the marriage as a special entity. They help get you thru the challenging times.

  2. Tica

    I just met a guy on a Christian dating website. He insists that affection is very important to him (maybe also a cultural thing with him) and commented that one girl broke it off with him because he was “too romantic.” He also describes dating a woman who he didn’t really get along with, adding to her list of bad qualities that she was not affectionate. We are set to meet in person in a short time, and already he is dropping hints about holding hands, kissing ect. He studies the Bible, seems like a nice guy but I admit to being a little turned off by his almost feminine approach to romance. He said physical touch is his “love language” based on the quiz that is floating around. We have talked for awhile and I do like him, but is it possible for a man to really get that much out of the romance part? I am certainly not against it, I am just not used to men who make clear from the start that it’s such a priority?

    Your Highness Tica,
    If you’ve not yielded sex, it could be his game. If you have, it’s learned behavior. As you say, a cultural thing.
    Sorry to be terse, but duty calls me elsewhere.

    • Cinnamon


      I don’t think most men are romantic but some are. Words and touch are two of the love languages discussed in the book “The 5 Love Language.”

      With regard to is “feminine approach to romance” (as you describe it) – I would not judge a man one way or the other based on this. I would look at all of his traits (as taught on this blog) and if his character meets my criteria, a romantic streak would be a plus for me (for others it might be a negative).

      Some women prefer very extreme alpha traits in a man. If you read this blog for a while, however, you will learn there is a big difference between “macho” and “masculine.” Moreover a man can be both very masculine and very romantic at the same time. Have you seen any of Nicholas Sparks’s movies? He is obviously a very romantic man. He is also a very successful author and screenwriter and family man. I doubt anyone would describe him as anything but masculine.

      If you find it attractive when a man initiates frequent contact with you, sends cards and letters, plans special nights out at events/restaurants you will enjoy, compliments you, etc. then you will like a romantic man. If these kinds of things turn you off and you prefer “cool and aloof” then you will not like a romantic man. Athol Kay at the Married Man Sex Life blog describes the ideal husband as a mix of both alpha and beta traits.

      A few months ago someone posted about going out on a date with a man who on the first or second date opened up emotionally about the impact of his divorce. The writer was questioning whether this was too “needy.” I can’t remember how Sir Guy responded, but my thoughts on it were that she should not assume he was trying to manipulate her but perhaps had made a calculated decision to show his vulnerability based on how he felt about her.

      I would heed Sir Guy’s warnings that this man may be trying to manipulate you, but I would also consider the bigger picture in terms of what you know about his character. It is his character that should guide you, not whether or not he is “romantic.”

  3. Emma

    Mr. Guy-

    As a reader for the last 3 years, I can understand where this article is applicable. Many wives – argue that husbands take them for granted, that they don’t appreciate them.. But to the man mind – “He married her”, which means that to him She is the most important person. I do agree “we” women need more than just the “I married you”. It’s a difference of the sexes. We need love and contant reminder that I “wife” is the most importat person in His life. Somehere this was lost and the wife becomes the nagging wife trying to get her hubby to show appreciation.

    Your Highness Emma,
    Thanks. Your last sentence inspired an article to be posted today or tomorrow.

  4. You have great posts. One thing though. I’ve heard that quote before, as women go, so does society. I don’t agree with that. Look at the respect nowadays in society, guys are more disrespectful than ever. We’re all wrapped up in this thing together. Yes I live in the USA. I believe both genders are equal yet different. Kings and Queens. If anything, I believe that when the man falls, that is when society goes.

    This guy have excellent insight on what happened in our nation. Both genders are angry with one another. I feel like these days many men are afraid of being systematically assaulted by the system. They warped the laws.. Feminism has turned women and men against each other ultimately. Marriage & Family are the building blocks of society. Destroy the family and you destroy society.


    Sir King Levi,

    You’re correct about present-day society.

    However, this blog compares men and women in their raw nature, as if they are born full size adults and before they gain experience. IOW, it’s their default traits, strengths, and weaknesses as God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize each individual.

    Until the cultural and sexual revolutions began shortly after World War II, both sexes generally followed their respective natures. The result was this; both men and women unconditionally respected the other gender more than their own. The natural fallout produced a society dominated by female standards, values, and expectations. Men dominated the workplace and society (what we all do). Women dominated the home and, consequently, the culture (why we all do what we do). Thus, as women went, so went society.

    The principle continues today but in the opposite direction.
    Women betray their gender and men follow because they are bribed with frequent and convenient sex without legal or moral obligation.

    Women need morality and religion to tame and counter male aggression. Men need neither. As morality vaporizes and religious values collapse in modern America, male aggression and dominance grow, men lose interest in obligating themselves to one woman, and women and children lose the standard of living they once had. Thus, society continues to follow female values and standards but with mixed up expectations.


  5. gonemaverick

    Sir Guy hello,

    Please could you help me understand this sentence better, “It is seed planting, prelude, and foreplay and usually in that order unless a woman yields easily.” I do understand seed planting. I am not quite sure about the rest.

    Your Highness Gone Maverick,
    I’m traveling till Monday. You’ll have to wait.

    P.S. I’m back. Prelude is the title of all those little hints, suggestions, and innuendos he uses to shape her thinking toward having sex with him. Foreplay begins the physical approach.

    • gonemaverick

      oh! *him?* i misunderstood. thank you for the explanation. i’m still on the right path then. thank you again.

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