1971. Compatibility Axioms #381-390


381. People highly value the unavailable or unattainable. The ultimate result of male pursuing female boils down to one question. What’s her ‘price’ to be sexually available to him? The higher her price, the greater her perceived value, and the greater his effort must be to discover her price, earn her acceptance, and decide whether or not to pay it. (It’s a major reason her sexual history should be none of anyone else’s business.) [136]

382. Repeated refusals for first-time sex together make her appear unattainable. Relative, of course, to how determined she defends herself. Each refusal escalates her value, keeps him guessing, and pushes him to try harder. If she holds out long enough, her continually rising price makes him consider whether she’s worth her ultimate price—most likely marriage. [136]

383. Men feast with their eyes. The higher her price, the more attractiveness she adds to whatever he already perceives of her. Strengthened desire works much like a few martinis with these exceptions: Attractiveness enhanced by martinis doesn’t last. Attractiveness loses its captivating appeal after conquest. Conquerors view the conquered in a much different light.[136]

384. Expectant conquerors wonder: What’s her price to be sexually accessible to other men? Virtual virginity signals she’s not active. If he can’t penetrate her defenses, other men can’t either. After all, he’s First Stud in his eyes. [136]

385. Before conquest, if she’s unwilling or unable to match wits and wills to hold him off, his dominance will always prevail in their relationship. Before conquest is both her testing and proving ground for what their relationship future looks like. [136]

386. Wives cheat on their husband and expect him to respond as women do. It doesn’t work. When he cheats, she wants to know. When she cheats, he wants to go.  [137]

387. Women should be but don’t seem to be haunted by these questions: Do younger women attract husbands away from their wives? Or do wives lose their ability to hold their man? Or, do wives drive husbands away? Women automatically blame husband or his new attraction. Wives proclaim themselves to be innocent and victimized. Flooding the wife with peer empathy and sympathy, friends and family help restore emotional letdown or breakdown. The rest of the story isn’t explored, because feminists inspired women to not listen to men about man things. (IMHO, this sums it up. Husbands wander away from wives because the wife is no longer the woman they married.) [137]

388. Conquered women lack the allure of attractive unconquered ones. She may be a good lay or good wife or both, but the attractive and unconquered still attract men. To hold a man’s devotion, a woman must compensate for his giving up his independence, reward him for husbanding and fathering. Instead, modern women view as unfair this inequality of Nature. Thus, they ignore, demean, or lose focus on their natural abilities to capture and hold onto one man. [137]

389. Successful marriage requires relationship management. Women qualify as experts, but men don’t. Men are too easily seen as culprit, plus they lack the soft relationship skills to restore marital peace. It’s much simpler and easier for husbands to let masculinity steer them away from one woman. Consequently, it takes an expert’s best efforts to overcome his hormonal urges. Once again, life ain’t fair, but women want a permanent mate more than the reverse. [137]

390. The female gender has made itself politically, morally, and socially entitled to masculine-style sexual freedom. It’s a major cause of so much trouble trying to keep a man’s devotion. When many women act sexually unattached, wives too easily become suspect in the eyes of their husband. He knows what other men are after. Can he remain positive that she’s different from other women? Consequently, casual sexual practices within the sisterhood poison faithful marriages. [137]

 

4 Comments

Filed under Dear daughter

4 responses to “1971. Compatibility Axioms #381-390

  1. Delia

    Sir Guy,
    How do you reward your man for husbanding and fathering? How do you hold your husband, per the below paragraph? Thank you!
    “388. Conquered women lack the allure of attractive unconquered ones. She may be a good lay or good wife or both, but the attractive and unconquered still attract men. To hold a man’s devotion, a woman must compensate for his giving up his independence, reward him for husbanding and fathering. Instead, modern women view as unfair this inequality of Nature. Thus, they ignore, demean, or lose focus on their natural abilities to capture and hold onto one man. [137]”

    Your Highness Delia,

    By being feminine instead of strongly female or masculine. By not changing after marriage. By appealing to his eyes with attractiveness and his ears with pleasant words. By not expecting him to change to meet your desires. By depending on him. By demonstrating your respect and gratitude for who he is and what he does. By admiring his features/traits/skills as exceptional and above other men. By endorsing his gracious fathering. By supporting him when he falters as father. By nurturing preschoolers and teaching them right and wrong, decency and goodness. By providing leadership by example for kids before puberty. By learning to release kids and shift into coaching them after puberty. By teaching the whole family that this rank structure works best: husband as chairman of the board, wife as CEO, mother as nurturer/leader/coach, father as leader/coach, and children. By learning patience so that you can specialize at seed planting, hints, and indirectness. And on and on with that kind of spirit plus an always pleasant, never disturbed attitude.

    Judge your success by how his actions continue to reflect his devotion to you.

    Also, for deeper details, study closely the next post due Tuesday, #1972.

    Guy

    • Delia

      Yes I understand the concepts. I appreciate your response thank you!
      You do realize how hard this all sounds? Also how contradictory some of it sounds. Like this:
      “By not expecting him to change to meet your desires. By depending on him.” Plus the part about never being disturbed but always pleasant.
      Eek! I am only human.
      Certainly something to work toward but it’s nerve wracking to think you could lose a husband if you’re less than perfect. I will look for the next post.
      I don’t think my husband would leave but I’ve learned and improved after marriage!

  2. My Husband's Wife

    “Flooding the wife with peer empathy and sympathy, friends and family help restore emotional letdown or breakdown.”
    Over and over, for any marital problem (not just a man’s infidelity), I’ve seen the man get blamed when it appears that the wife could have done something or did contribute to the issue of marital woes.
    One example: wife spent an inordinate amount of time on the computer–all hours of the day/night. Home was filthy, she doesn’t cook either. He was a military guy who was very clean/neat tidy sort of guy–hard working and accomplished. One day, he just left his family (not permanently) but indefinitely, to stay at their cabin in another state without saying a word to her, the kids or anyone. Everyone is saying how horrible he is. Not a one (man or woman) thought that the wife had ANY part in his upset/unrest.

    It seems like men show greater negative response to whatever upset is going on in their home–and women seem to remain ignorant to why their man is acting out, blaming him, never really taking a look at themselves and how they could “fix” things.

  3. MLaRowe

    Dear Guy,

    I don’t think I ever said this before but this is my favorite post (as of now) and I visit it fairly often for the reminder it gives. Thank you for your work on behalf of all the ladies, married and unmarried, young and old.

    Your Highness MLaRowe,
    Thank you, darling, for pointing that out. I just reread the article and enjoyed it for its overall worth. More than ever before too. I usually can’t see the forest for the trees I’m trying to make clearly visible. The original and less clear versions of the axioms were first posted in March 2008. You’ve highlighted a treasure chest that I’ve only peered inside before, and I thank you for my gaining greater appreciation for what I do here. You’ve brightened my day. Thank you again.
    Guy

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