1978. Compatibility Axioms #401-410

401. First-time sex with each woman is a conquering event, after which he rates her as keeper, standby, or dumpee. [142]
402. For the hunter-conqueror, the greater his target’s perceived sexual virtue, the greater her immediate value and his inspiration to keep trying. [142]
403. Hard-to-get means other guys failed before him. So, it enhances the self-stroking of a man’s ego, energizes his need to earn self-admiration. [142]
404. He offers his strengths for her to appreciate. If she shows no weaknesses or need, his strengths fade in importance, and so does she. [142]
405. His respect for his woman softens a man’s heart, and her gratitude for him softens his hard-headedness. [142]
406. Proclaiming her love doesn’t work. He sees his value as mate wrapped within her respect and gratitude for him as husband and father, provider and protector, and those other things he deems critical to his current and significant missions in life. [142]
407. His woman’s grooming and appearance in public add to or detract from him. Other men look at her, but they also take the measure of him—or so he either thinks or desires. Women observers tend to judge her more harshly than him, as she is their competitor. [142]
408. Husband wants wife to look queenly yet unavailable, beautiful but unattainable. Something special enough to gain masculine admiration of him yet make men realize they can never have her. It’s a major input to his self-admiration and sense of significance. [142]
409. If a man has flaws before they marry, each will magnify afterward. The same applies to women but the turning point is his conquest. [142]
410. Husband wants wife to remain the woman she was before they married. But she insists on changing herself, because her life is now different. Or, she was a phony before marry up, and her true side emerges. Either way, it’s not good for longevity together. [142]


Filed under Dear daughter

4 responses to “1978. Compatibility Axioms #401-410

  1. cocoa

    Sir Guy, at 404 would you kindly explain the second sentence. What do you mean by “show weakness and need towards his strength”?

    Your Highness Cocoa,
    If she doesn’t show some interest, some need, some expectation of dependence on him in her life, whatever he has to offer diminishes in his eyes. She devalues him—in his eyes—and so he loses interest in her except for conquest.

    • Mellow

      Sir guy,
      Does this apply before or after conquest? During the initial dates phase?

      Your Highness Mellow,

      Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

      Yes, at all times. Slowly during dating or it makes you sound phony, but men admire the woman that finds him dependable enough for her to lean on, to indirectly suggest that he has the strength she looks for and admires. (See post 1979 later today about admiration in his life.)


  2. I would say that a woman who marries doesn’t change herself as much as live up to her dreams…dreams that her husband may never have considered as important as himself. For example, “settling down” and having children. Many men today really believe that children are secondary and a possibility “someday” while women have a deep desire to have children. It’s partly the way they are made (to nurture) and partly to tie a man to her. This is why a middle-aged man who divorces his wife and leaves his family is surprised when he marries his “trophy” younger wife and ends up with another family. He thought he was getting the adoring fan he craved and she knew that she needed to bond him to her through children (even if she didn’t know this cognitively).

    So, men may be surprised by the way women “change” after marriage but, if they listened more carefully to their woman before marriage AND if she is honest with him and herself he will know what is coming after the romance…she wants security! And security translates to a woman as a home and family.

    Your Highness Nt12many,

    You invariably hit home runs. Thanks for both accuracy and clarity.

    You close with this: “And security translates to a woman as a home and family.” And so I take off with this. Wife changes at husband’s expense, and it endangers her security.

    Overly well intentioned and motivated to do well, she nevertheless takes husband for granted. She primarily favors her job, nest, children, other interests, or all of the above. In essence, she ignores or resents giving him enough respect, gratitude, favor, and recognition that he’s chairman of the board and she’s only the CEO.

    In the roles I cited in article 1976, she fails to balance her closely connected roles as neck and heart of the family body to the satisfaction of the mate she presumes to be permanent. If she doesn’t presume he’s permanent in the first place, then she accepts the natural obligation to more diligently avoid taking him for granted.

    However, she erringly presumes he’s captured and that’s all that’s necessary. Career, nesting, and mothering justify her shifting his interests into the background. She dominates the foreground and diligently performs the multitude of duties that surround her as both neck and heart. Husband is presumed capable; everything and everyone else needs her attention/care. Out of that mix shortly comes the taking of husband for granted, and his satisfaction with her begins to sour.

    When their relationship commences to fall apart, she expects him to change as part of so-called relationship management. She won’t or can’t accept this truism; men expect not to have to change to live with a mate. If the relationship goes sour, it was not because of his initiating change within himself. It happened because of what she did that frustrated or pressured him to change, which invariably is contrary to what she wants. Therein lays the threat to her security.

    The bottom line? She fails at the most important task that underwrites her present life, ensures her security, and brightens her long range future. She fails to keep her husband convinced that he’s number one in her book. It takes more than many wives give. He has to receive enough respect, gratitude, unique favors, and support for his work endeavors. Plus no doubts that he is and will always remain chairman to her CEO. He also expects that everybody else sees the evidence to confirm it in their minds.

    Well anyway, your highness, I wanted to tack that onto your much appreciated artwork.


  3. Catherine

    I can think of a few women I know who changed after marriage, one who changed after landing a new job, and even one who changed after receiving a good performance evaluation. I wonder if they do it unnaturally to try to copy men who naturally change after their conquests?

    Your Highness Catherine,
    That’s a very interesting question. Copying manly behavior does seem in vogue today.

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