1989. Self-gratitude — Where Her Troubles Begin

I figured out why men have little compunction about asking women for hang out and hook up in lieu of dates. Women are willing to be treated less than they deserve—less respect as a person, less worthy as a female, less regard as the superior sex. The dominant sex takes the easier way, because women don’t reinforce their own wishes and brace up their own feelings by standing up for their own selves. Actions change feelings, but women have forgotten how to exploit that principle. Men haven’t.

Men see women as not defending uniquely female values, standards, and expectations. They invite women to help pay for dates without risking loss of face. So, men suffer no loss of dignity by doing what women neither want nor appreciate. When women do stand up for themselves, men must expect and respect it or else they flunk the course of learning how to find acceptance on feminine terms—aka being tamed to honor female standards and expectations.

Women don’t appreciate themselves enough. They don’t protect female sensibilities and feminine expectations by telling men to bug off with their disrespectful proposals. Women just don’t preserve their superior role as females, and the root of malpractice is described in the next post.



Filed under feminine

11 responses to “1989. Self-gratitude — Where Her Troubles Begin

  1. surfercajun

    spot on for Sunday morning while baking yummies in the kitchen!!

  2. I am currently separated from my husband (abusive situation). He wanted to take our children camping and asked me to go along. We have not had a pleasant conversation in a few months so my response was “No thank you.” However, I thought he might be trying to reach out to me so I countered with “But I would enjoy going out for coffee with you.” His response was “Why would I want to go out to coffee with you?” It was then I realized he wanted a cook, servant, and bunkmate…not ME.

    Your Highness Lauraelizabeth4,

    Well done. Great example of wisely finding out exactly what you face. Clears your head for future thinking.

    You mentioned bunkmate. Red flag. My guess is that you’d benefit greatly by studying my series on Virtual Virginity.


  3. Some Other Guy

    From what I understand of young men today, they believe that asking a girl/woman for a date is not to be done. It gives off signals that he is socially unaware. It would be a violation of social norms.

    They young men I know say that neither sex is interested in dealing with the pressure and awkwardness of dating. That hanging out is superior in this respect. Dating is something that the older generations did, is what I have been told. So I guess this is just how things operate these days,

    Sir Some Other Guy,
    It means that gals go along to get along. They have too few standards and expectations about their worth and how they should be treated. Instead, they acquiesce so as not to be ignored. The guys remain focused on cheapest-to-conquer sex and booty when they miss on conquest. They place no worth on the woman inside because they don’t have to.

    • eatacactus

      Sir Guy, how does one avoid paying on a date without being tactless?

      Your Highness Eatacactus,
      Study the series “Single Women Don’t Pay” in CONTENTS page at blog top.

  4. Guy,

    First I want to say my condolences on the loss in your family that happened a while ago. I was hurt to find that out and hoped you were coping well.

    Second, thank you for still running this wonderful blog (which I've been following for over 2 years).

    Third, I have a question/concern. It is not fully related to today's article but here it goes:

    I have trouble acting virtuously in terms of being pleasant to be around etc. I am currently dating a guy (i.e. we meet up once a week and talk almost every day, nothing serious according to him, though it's been going on for over 2 months). And I am scared that I may have reached his final straw last night and messed everything up--that he will no longer wanna talk to me or likes me less, etc.

    This is a reoccurring pattern with me--I am very insecure and always starting drama when I date. And he says its his only complaint about me. I managed to go a week without it, yet had a gnawing concern that exploded into yet more drama last night on the phone. When I say drama, I mean seeking validation through accusatory statements (if that makes sense) and last night (still regretting this) I even hinted that I wished he found another girl this weekend**. So basically I "start sh#t" that doesn't need to be started. He gets angry, as usual, and doesn't wanna talk and says I ruined his Sunday.

    I'm now anxious, disappointed/angry at myself, and just sad. I don't know how to recover or if he even wants to talk to me anymore. He usually texts me early in the morning-- it's almost lunch and nothing.

    I don't know how to control myself anymore or how to relax and not be so anxiously attached. I'm at my wit's end. It's been 5 years and I still haven't managed to fix my bad behaviour!

    If this is to tie into today's post at all, it's this: Whatever value I have (very little to begin with, I feel) I tear down when I start drama and so I have no worth to back up my standards.

    Hope you're OK with such a long comment.

    Have a great day,

    **I am very confused about what he wants and feel like maybe he just doesn't like me much so was thinking that if he found another girl that he CAN like a lot at a convention this weekend, that he would stop wasting my time. Because I'm getting attached and I don't wanna continue if it doesn't lead anywhere.

    Your Highness Catalinarea,

    Your problem is timely. The series I now work on is building every day. I haven’t yet described what you need to do, but I’m headed there and should be posting it within a week. It’s aimed at enabling you to recover and become more appealing to both you and men. In the meantime, I suggest you study the background published as articles 1986-1989 with 1990 due out tomorrow. And if you have the time, study the series entitled Virtual Virginity.

    Plug this into the back of your mind. When you become more grateful for yourself as yourself, your problem will become less what it now is and you’ll face kinder and more fun-to-deal-with challenges. How can I say that? Because it appears that the cause of your problem is easily resolved by what I’ve been working toward for 6-1/2 years. Look for, study, and adopt everything I say about self-gratitude.


    • Wow! What a quick reply! Thank you, Guy.

      It’s very hard to be grateful for myself, to be honest (I really dislike myself and feel unworthy etc.). But I think I’ll begin with your suggested exercises.

      Also, I have studied the virtual virginity series several times–virginity is, if anything, a burden in my life at the moment. But I’m not willing to lose it outside of a serious relationship so I’m still intact. I.e. I am not being indecent with the guy I’m dating! 😛 Just to clarify.

      Your Highness Catalinarea,

      The exercises are forthcoming but not for few days. Stay tuned though.

      May I suggest that you immediately declare your sexual history off limits to everyone include us here on the blog. Indelibly imprint your heart and mind that it’s no one’s business but your own. The practice will help you handle it better whenever you have to deal with a man about it. There are some blog articles about it too under sexual history or virgin or something close.


      • Oh, I was referring to the exercise a few posts ago about listing things to be grateful for. But I’ll stay posted for the next one, regardless.

        And alright…it’s tough….but I’ll keep my history off limits.

        Thank you, as always.

        Your Highness Catalinarea,

        The list you found is legitimate for use until its replacement comes out shortly. I propose that you spend 30 minutes first thing each morning trying to associate those – now called default attitudes – things for which to be grateful with everything else in your life. Your problems plus all those things that work to your advantage. The exercise is to deal with your reflection for 30 minutes. to whom you cannot lie for very long, to work out solutions and the betterment of your entire life. And do it before the day begins for everyone else. Between you and your best friend, your reflection, you’ll find plenty to talk about if you sprinkle the default attitudes into your convo.

        Parenthetically, I just got an idea for another default attitude. Thanks.


    • There are a lot of people like you Catalinarea. Your on this site with good reasons. Your here for a purpose. This man has wonderful wisdom about both genders.

      This may help you with your life as well.


  5. Magnolia

    Happy Memorial Day, Sir Guy! Thanks for serving our country! I have so much respect for you in so many ways and am so thankful for you! May God bless you always!

  6. Boomer Babe

    I’m Proud to be an AMERICAN
    I’ve been reading these since you were in the 700’s and now you are at 1989. The year i married

  7. surfercajun

    Ladies: If he expects to take you to bed before the wedding, then walk away. He is supposed to be the leader and head after you are married, but if he wants to lead you into wickedness while dating, what makes you think he is fit to be a husband? A fool of a boyfriend will be a fool of a husband.

    I found this on facebook from a friend. I thought it spoke volumes!

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