1990. Self-gratitude — She Has to Earn Happiness

She earns happiness. Men don’t provide it; they just play the role she writes into her screen play.

Women seem to miss an important lesson as they mature from girlhood hopes and dreams into the real world. Happiness doesn’t come from her man. Girls imagine it within themselves. Women produce it within themselves. Men and other excuses should be removed from the blame list. Fulfillment of hopes and dreams depends on each woman.

More and more, women guide their lives by pop culture and manly expectations instead of instinct, intuition, and faith in their nature. They allow the dominant sex to disrespect the superior sex. Consequently, like toothpaste, women allow themselves to be squeezed out of the happiness tube into which they are born.

The obstructions to womanly happiness can be seen in this closed loop. She 1) ignores or distrusts her female nature and accepts living within the social and domestic expectations of the male-dominated pop culture. Lack of dependence on her female nature causes 2) loss of self-respect, which causes 3) loss of self-gratitude, which causes 4) loss of being grateful for others, which causes 5) loss of importance to others, which causes 6) loss of self-importance as person-female-woman-parent-adult-child-wife-mother-friend and all the other roles she fills momentarily and often simultaneously. Ultimately, by starting out with lack of belief, dependence, and even distrust of her female nature, she continually drives her life toward unhappiness.

By not focusing and finding gratitude for who she is and what she does, she morphs herself into the dreary multiplex of depression, divorce, abandonment, isolation, disappointment, singleness, despair, loneliness, and hopelessness. Fruitlessly, she seeks to find her way back into the tube.

However, recovery is everything. An entry point exists to reverse the loop and restore her potential. She starts by finding gratitude for who she is and what she does. It energizes her with self-confidence to drive the loop in reverse. a) Self-gratitude generates b) self-respect, which c) reinstates trust in the female nature within her heart, which d) restores her sense of self-importance in her multiple roles of life, which e) enables gratefulness for others, and which f) makes her more and more important to others and herself. Ultimately, by finding more and more self-gratitude, she morphs her life into being happy. Her happiness empowers her with greater ability to help her man find satisfaction in his life, out of which girlhood hopes and dreams are fulfilled.

Each woman’s happiness starts inside her. It just doesn’t work when she depends on someone else. If you disagree, ask any woman over sixty years of age. In the meantime, consider this. She earns happiness this way. She ignores the tube from which she was squeezed. She programs herself to trust her instinct, intuition, and feminine sensibilities. She uses new guidance for interacting with men. For example, acceptance of disrespect and filth is foreign to her soul. Dependence on her instinct and intuition emboldens and empowers her to both discriminate and defend against female-unfriendly values and standards and undeserved masculine expectation and mistreatment.

The process for generating self-gratitude follows soon.



Filed under feminine

11 responses to “1990. Self-gratitude — She Has to Earn Happiness

  1. Shanna

    Mr Guy,
    As always, this is good word! I’ve been meditating on these concepts all year and the discovery of your blog has helped me tremendously!!! I grew up on a steady diet of pop culture…TV, radio, love songs, etc. How many songs, movies, and books drive home that point that we can’t live without THAT MAN….he’s the key to our happiness…lol. I fell victim to that belief system. I’m sure I’m not alone.
    However, recovery is everything…thank GOD! Thank you again for your encouraging words.

    • My Husband's Wife

      Shanna: I second your thoughts! Life becomes more beautiful when you discover this and confidence increases, doesn’t it?

      Sir Guy: Bravo! This piece of writing is essential for every woman to read. One of THE best ever!

      Your Highness My Husband’s Wife,
      Thank you. The end-of-subject test is still too be given. Recovery starts at the mirror. Details later.

    • Boomer Babe

      IMO, I believe that modern pop culture is POISON!! especially the stuff they made AFTER 1979 starting with MADONNA and others in the early 80s.
      When WOMEN start to ‘take over’ men, they actually LOSE!
      I’ve watched Hannity on 5/26 when they were talking about how America is going with the POISON of pop culture of Cyrus, Beyonce and Perry, and who they bring up was MADONNA since she was the FIRST!.
      They were so young ‘under 40’ that they were too young to see when pop culture at least had some ‘class’ to it.

  2. This is wonderful. Your website is totally badass. I assume your a older gentleman. Lot of pressure on women and men. The pressure with men is that you have to sleep around with 948573948753 women to be a man but it’s the complete opposite.

    Men do things to attract women. Women do things to attract men. Both want to be wanted/needed/loved.

    I always tell people that I can be a wealthy man, but I can’t be the primary source of my woman’s happiness. First of all she needs to know/love/honor God. She should have a gift/career that she focuses on. I’m next.. This world is so out of balance Sir Guy.

    This man explains the problems with men and women. He’s in his 60s. Excellent insight on men and women. He acknowledges God as well.


    Sir King Levi II,
    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another man joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear. Wise thoughts too. Thank you for them.

  3. MLaRowe

    Thank you for this post. I’m also looking forward to the next one.

  4. Readingup

    This is just beautifully written!Thank God for this site!

    “focusing and finding gratitude for who she is ”
    That is what I am working on in my recovery.
    Early this morning I had my devotion followed by my mirror time.
    I carefully selected a classic Audrey Hepburn look black and white houndstooth a-line swing skirt, pink sweater blouse, pumps and a delicate headband to pull back my black curly hair.

    I was feeling so fabulous .. then my Mom goes “tacky choice that turtleneck is too warm for this mid summer day.”
    I felt my confidence deflate like a balloon and I went for perky to peeved in seconds. But I still feel great in what I wearing though no one has said so yet 🙂

    This article resonates with me. My confidence and happiness has to come from the inside and radiate outside. I have to be grateful for myself and appreciate myself and actually BELIEVE it. When you know something and are self assured you can throw your head back laugh and keep steppin when someone diasgree.

    Waiting with baited breath for “the process” post

    Your Highness Reading up,

    Gorgeous is as gorgeous does. Well done, lady. Wish I could see and enjoy your appearance. Turtle necks always look great, especially the sleeveless kind in warmer weather.

    Please pass this to your mother, “Shame on you. You should look so great.”


    • surfercajun

      @ Reading up,

      You and I must have the same mother as I was criticize for having shoulder length hair! I do understand that deflated balloon feeling! She can still have that affect on me even though I have been married for years and have children. BUT I resign myself to make my daughter better than I was. I see it as a challenge because I had to start with myself first of all and now, I can concentrate on her. She is beginning to have mirror time too and takes care with what she chooses. She recently organized her clothes closet! Your Audrey H look must have been fabulous!!! Keep working on that look! I greatly admire that style and am trying myself to look that way… playing with my make up, hair, (even though she usually had her short and short!!) …what does your dad say about your look? My dad always told me the shorter my hair was my eyes were brought out. …but I am kind of partial to my shoulder length hair and enjoy putting it up. My husband seems to like it better than down my back…

      BTW, my grandmother use to wear lots of sleeveless turtlenecks and looked great in them!

  5. cocoa

    Looking forward to the process to come. But I can’t help thinking of women and young ladies who claims that they don’t like the mirror as they dislike what they see. They don’t like themselves. I was shocked when a female colleague told me this. I was speechless.

    Your Highness Cocoa,
    Yes, to different degrees for individual women, that is the primary root of womanly unhappiness.

  6. northshore

    Dear Guy,

    Your post sums it up so well. Without the above knowledge, a woman can live for years with an open psychological wound that the standard pop psychology advice can only make worse.

    I want to know what you think of how “girl bullying” from female bosses and supervisors can also seriously erode a woman’s sense of self-gratitude and prettiness. It seems similar to the reader above whose confidence was temporarily shattered by her mother’s unsupportive comment about the turtleneck. Women enter the work world, expecting a mom type figure or an Oprah type in the role of boss or supervisor, lovingly telling them they’re “good girls” for dutifully following the career path, but unfortunately, it doesn’t turn out that way. In many workplaces, women get shut down and shamed by other women for acting like women, and quickly learn to compete like men in order to survive. As a result, the women wind up with contempt for other women and themselves.

    Can other women hurt women’s self-gratitude more than men?

    What does recovery look like in this situation, where the primary assaults to a woman’s confidence appear to come from other women or her job, and not from any lousy decisions she’s made with men?

    Thank you for providing information, clarification and reinforcement through this blog.


    Your Highness Northshore,

    You highlight something I’ve written about before. Check 1582 and 1583.

    Female bosses copy men in order to become bosses. They abandon their female side in the mistaken belief it helps them. They promote male-endorsed competition rather than female-endorsed cooperation. Their subordinates suffer indignities imposed by sister females. It’s atrocious, but neither men nor bosses recognize the end results, which is what you recognize in poor morale, which is the taproot of inefficiency, which is abortive of good management.

    Effective women leaders use their superior female strengths to live up to company policies and standards rather matching the professional personalities of their leaders. They don’t abandon their female nature. They don’t attract the attention of their men leaders as fast or dynamically as poor female bosses, but they end up as far better performers in the long run. Men just need more time to learn to guard the future with female help instead of guarding the present with token females willing to abandon their very different nature for promotion.

    Other women, even bosses, can’t hurt your self-gratitude, only your self-image which constantly changes as situations change. Stay tuned for more precision about self-satisfaction that varies only by your own inputs.

    Recovery. A woman’s confidence is built internally. Belief in herself is what she questions when bosses and others attack her for whatever reason. Recovery is claiming gratefulness for who and what you are regardless of what takes place externally. More is coming about that too.

    Your questions are great. Hopefully my response follows suit.


  7. Emma

    Mr. Guy,

    Great post! From your last sentence, how can one defend their femaleness when it is the husband to is too manly that disrespects by womenly self. “For example, acceptance of disrespect and filth is foreign to her soul. Dependence on her instinct and intuition emboldens and empowers her to both discriminate and defend against female-unfriendly values and standards and undeserved masculine expectation and mistreatment.”

    Your Highness Emma,

    You are highly restricted. You can’t change him but you can show him ways to please you that he may take a liking to.

    I suggest that you study the ideas, thoughts, and principles embedded in the series entitled Virtual Virginity.

    The subject is different but not the process of inducing change in a man. Use it to teach yourself how to hint, plant seeds, and otherwise expose your standards as living up to something bigger than yourself. Then you live it and see if he picks up on it for himself. Have patience as every day that he ages he becomes more amenable to change in the direction of kindness and appreciation for you. Work on how to encourage him to please you more than he has in the past, which calls for more respect of him for you.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s