1993. Self-gratitude — Relationship Maintenance


Both sexes are born to live compatibly as mates. To men, relationships just are; they don’t need maintenance. Recovery comes with women being born as relationship experts. They’re able to coach and coax accommodation and maintain balance between the sexes. Facing hundreds of sex differences, they do better when they start with strategic guidelines.

The following universal principles provide high level guidance. Accommodation and balance in these principles reduce the battle of the sexes to compatible peace and the potential for harmonious mating.

  1. The superior sex provides what the dominant sex needs to succeed at building economic wealth to sustain life as a family. In exchange, the dominant sex yields independence to the superior sex to succeed at building domestic peace, preferably harmony in the home.
  2. Women are born for happiness but they have to earn it with extra effort at being uniquely female, that is, feminine. Men are born into satisfaction; beginning as toddlers they stumble into it as the result of living a self-admired way of life.
  3. Men are born to compete, women to cooperate. Mating enables the dominant sex to rest peacefully after the hard labor of building and accumulating wealth. Mating enables the superior sex to strive for a brighter future through the good offices of a mate.
  4. Women are born to be good. By doing good, they become good in fact. Men are born to do good. They become good under the influence of women who energize them to do good.
  5. Morality serves women. Men don’t need it. And so women gain the moral high ground if they choose to impose morality into their lives.
  6. Men focus on the present. (They seek self-admiration through achievement.) Women focus on the future. (Today’s schedule was planned yesterday; the next vacation is in the works; the prospects of food next month is more important than what is on the table today.)
  7. Men are naturally direct and women indirect in dealing with the opposite sex. Mutual respect for each other’s preferred method breeds cooperation.
  8. Men are sufficiently independent to chase their boyhood dreams with dedication as adults. Women lead lives of quiet desperation or unquiet exhaustion as they adjust expectations to fit the discouraging realities pitted against their girlhood hopes and dreams.
  9. To men, respect must be earned. Women give respect freely until it becomes undeserved.
  10. Sex bonds women but not men.
  11. Women need to feel important. Men need to be admired.
  12. Women fear abandonment. Men fear insignificance.
  13. Women are naturally modest. Men are not.
  14. Women live eternally with infernal guilt. Men do not; they resent the imposition of guilt and reject, escape, or forget it.

Accommodation and balance in those factors sets the stage for relationship success. However, a woman’s relationship expertise is both animated and limited by self-gratitude. With it flooding her heart, she ‘inherits’ the urgency to build a healthy relationship and the energy to maintain it. Without a flood, she flops and flounders on the rocks of interpersonal pressures.

More will follow on self-gratitude.

 

8 Comments

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8 responses to “1993. Self-gratitude — Relationship Maintenance

  1. I’m disappointed, I expected more integrity.

    Sir Michael Jeffery,

    I’m disappointed too. This is your fourth comment. I squelched the rant and next two. Except for character assassination, you don’t say much and you don’t say it well. You don’t make sense relating it to something to which I can respond. For example with the above, disappointed with what? The article? Some point in it? Sentence structure? Integrity re what? Me? Clear writing? Relationship maintenance?

    Make more sense clearly and I’ll post your criticisms.

    Guy

    • A. I was disappointed at your attempt at censorship. B. I see your other users writing much longer statements with little to no argument, or coherency behind their statements and you don’t complain. Actually to the contrary it’s a fairly strait forward point, it’s a descriptive paragraph arguing against the position of bullying and blackmailing others into doing what you say out of a sense of piety and self-righteousness. I made it as uncomplicated as possible(two paragraphs philosophy you can rarely describe important idea’s in two paragraphs. So don’t accuse me of intruding on time). You’re a writer you should be able to understand the main points of the summary’s without excessive explanation. And if your age is truly as presented meaning you’re in your 80’s then you were born sometime in the 1920’s o 30’s, so Nietzsche’s work shouldn’t be unfamiliar to you. You appeal to people’s false hopes and desires and then relieve them responsibility of personal accountability under the guise of being, “strategic” and “head-smart.” and then this is justified by sort’ve looking down your nose at others ideas and sense of character in a way that you disapprove which you just did in the paragraph above me which in itself condones a very suspiciously solipsistic self-absorption. That is then bandied about and presented to your audience as, “self-respect”. You aggressively disrespect the self-sovereignty of men, in order to help women achieve their ends by whatever means necessary, not accounting for any scruples. This is the truth. I’m sorry you interpret this as ad hominem, when it’s clearly not considering the entire mode of my criticisms, are at the idea’s. I don’t even know you. You want to quit rationalizing the err in judgment as to avoid admitting mistakes that have been made?

      Sir Michael Jeffery,

      Better than before, you’re writing is clear. As to content, you’ve still not spotlighted anything I’ve written that justify your conclusions. Perhaps it’s a personality conflict. My stressing gratitude may fly in the face of your character. I see two signs that gratitude may play an insignificant role in your life. The signs are embedded in your email address, menckenstormrage@gmail.com. Do storm and rage fertilize your opinions? At least they are not related to gratefulness.

      All differences aside, your critical demeanor may be useful here. The blog is built on more than you’ve read. If interested in contributing, I offer the following articles to get you qualified — 1747 through 1763 followed by the rest of that series that runs for 113 posts.

      Two final comments about your diatribe. 1) The self-sovereignty of men is behind man’s inhumanity to man. 2) Nietzsche was full of storm and rage.

      Guy

      P.S. I prefer that you contribute along the line that women never hear but appreciate it when they do. Thanks.
      G.

  2. Well, Michael Jefferey,
    Your comment was the longest-winded bunch of intellectualism that I have have read in some time. You said absolutely nothing coherent! I’ll bet you did well on essay tests in school.
    Say what you mean…unless you have no idea what you really want to say! And, stop throwing Nietzsche’s name around! Doing so revealed your intellectual pride…and we can do without that here.

    Jill Farris

  3. ari

    Mr. Michael Jefferey,
    I think this is not the place for you as you seem to have nothing useful to add only criticism and personal attacks. Not sure what you are looking for here. Perhaps you should look elsewhere.

  4. My Husband's Wife

    Wow, Sir Guy—these are very true as I’m learning more at harmonizing my home life. This one especially rings true: “To men, respect must be earned. Women give respect freely until it becomes undeserved.”
    Yes, I do give it until there is reason NOT to. Then it’s difficult to restore that respect once lost…

    • My Husband's Wife

      I don’t think this just applies to home life though—it’s men and women in general. (P.S. Haven’t lost respect for my husband so didn’t want it to sound that way).

      Your Highness My Husband’s Wife,
      As guys used to say some decades ago, correctamundo or it sounded like that.
      Guy

  5. MLaRowe

    A few things I’ve done since reading most of this blog: 1. Found myself protecting my morning “pretty time”, it’s a priority now and I sometimes wonder how Mrs. Guy did things back in the day. 2. Felt a lot less superficial about spending time and energy on being well groomed and dressing nicely. As a result I’ve had admiring glances that were not threating, just appreciative. 3. Decided it’s okay to be indirect (I can’t help this anyhow since I was raised by overly polite Southerners and this is just what I was taught). 4. Tried to make my husband feel that I appreciate all his work, protection and efforts for our family. 5. Realized that mean words to a husband can make him go away since this is happening to someone I know who is experiencing the 20 year ditch. So there are a handful of ways I’ve made helpful changes that are making my home life more serene.

  6. This is so good I must have it before my eyes every day upon waking.

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