2012. Female Blessings at Birth — 13-15


Fifth group and I thank you for offering your opinions.

I take the (currently 84) default attitudes for a test drive, to purify them with deeper analysis by more people. I request readers either confirm or deny each numbered item below with or without comment. To make it easier, I’m only posting three at a time.

Just reply to this article and identify each item by its number and indicate true/false. Accept each default as true to begin with. I will rewrite or delete as results of your analyses justify it.

True means that a default item is part of female nature that women inherit at birth. False means that the item is missing completely from your heart or is something you learned during life. If you learned an item during your life, try as best you can to determine if you actually learned it or just confirmed what already existed in your heart. [If learned or foreign to you, label the item False.]

13. I find solace knowing that I must show respect and gratitude for my husband above all others (and realize when I slow or stop that he will tend to wander). [Editor says: That expression of her nature has roots in her superior skill of adaptability, spirit of cooperation, and sense of importance serving someone else.]
14. I am capable more of giving that taking and am especially grateful for each opportunity to prove myself to myself. [Editor says: Her giving is rooted in her tender-heartedness and the gratefulness in her sense of importance.]
15. I am capable of finding new ways every day to show and encourage my husband that he is respected for who he is and what he does. [Editor says: That conviction arises out of a woman’s determination to brighten her future by constantly striving to improve it or at least keep it from dimming. Thus, she invests in her future by keep her man satisfied that he’s doing right by her.]

Example for responses: “14-T (comments if given)” works okay to reflect your opinion of true to that one item.

Thank you for your opinions.

 

10 Comments

Filed under feminine

10 responses to “2012. Female Blessings at Birth — 13-15

  1. gonemaverick

    13 -15 T

    not married yet. but all of the above will be true for me someday.

    Your Highness Gonemaverick,
    I love it when pretty women respond with opinions as I request.
    Guy

  2. MLaRowe

    Also agree 13-15 True.

    Could you write more about competition (between women) at some point. I find myself in a competitive environment these days and would like some guidance about how to rise above all that.

    Your Highness MLaRowe,

    I love it when pretty women respond with opinions as I request.

    I’ll respond more on Wednesday morning.

    Guy

    P.S. I’m back. There’s not much to say. It’s very much a part of the female nature to compete with other women for the best men. It naturally emerges daily as better appearance, earning greater status, and exchange of feelings that signify one’s standings among others.

    You don’t need to rise above it. Just earn and keep the respect of other women and you will do just fine. Don’t let their opinions form or shape your thoughts or behavior.

    G.

  3. Maria

    13. T
    14. T
    15. T
    I love how so many women that read your blog can see the truth in these things, or are at least very close to grasping them. It’s so encouraging. Grab a random woman off the street to ask about these things and she’ll look at you like you’re speaking Chinese. You have brought us together, Sir Guy! Thank you!

    Your Highness Maria,
    I love it when pretty women respond with opinions as I request.
    Guy

  4. DontCallMeSparkles

    13-F, 14,15 T.. I have always instinctively known compliments to my husband help brighten my future but I have zero sense that serving another gives me any sense of importance. But Im not the average female either in that way, until my husband I met few men if any I considered my equal (I have a Masters and a career in the legal field plus Ive modeled and raised a beautiful successful daughter who is studying to become an oral surgeon) . I find self significance as a man does (my achievements) far more important to my image of myself than importance to others…other than my husband and my family, I really couldnt care less whether others find me necessary or not because I know I am to myself. Yet my marriage works perfectly because my husband is many times the superior of me in various arenas and I of him in other ones, both in career and personal character. I think why women feel marriage often isnt for them is because some women, like myself, refuse to “serve” someone so obviously not their equal and few strong women want to marry a charity case who needs his ego stroked because his career isnt successful enough to do it himself. The remedy is to find that man who is your equal, or a little better, and hold out for that. Then occasional deference comes naturally and sincerely because he really CAN do something better than you which breeds respect which for me engenders love. How blessed I am to have a man who is happy I show love in the same way he does and not need constant words, etc like most women. I am proof that opposites may attract but dont rule out marrying someone just like you either 😉

    Your Highness DontCallMeSparkles,
    I love it when pretty women respond with opinions as I request.
    Guy

  5. Lady of the House

    13 – T
    14 – T (Very true and obvious at an early age. I have always done for others and looked for ways to serve. Having been this way since childhood, serving in marriage and motherhood has come quite easily.)
    15 – T

    Your Highness Lady of the House,
    I love it when pretty women respond with opinions as I request.
    Guy

  6. Tanisha

    13-T: When I was a child, I grew up watching my Aunt and Uncle interact in a way that put a cloud over my spirit . I wasn’t suprised when they divorced as soon as my older cousins graduated highschool. My Aunt belittled and challenged my Uncle in front of the whole family every time we got together for holidays. I was a child, but I understood he wouldnt be around for much longer. It hurt me to see her disrespect him and use the family time to drag him. To be so young and sense this i’d definitely say #13 is inherent to my heart.

    14-T: These are definitely a default item in my heart. It was reinforced growing up in a baptist church.

    15-F: Every woman in my family that I am close to is divorced and some have been for quite some time. Their bitter outlook on men must’ve rubbed off on me, because I believe it should be natural to feel capable of finding new ways to show respect and gratitude for your husband, but I feel quite insecure in my ability to do this.

    Your Highness Tanisha,

    I love it when pretty women respond with opinions as I request.

    Re #15. Both womanly bitterness and your insecurity to show respect and gratitude for husband are lessons learned in life. Overcoming both can only be done by overwriting them with new habits. In your case, by working harder to find “new ways everyday by which to show and encourage my husband about how he is respected for who he is and what he does.” Action overpowers feelings, especially those of insecurity.

    Guy

  7. Lucy

    Your Highness Lucy,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    NOTE: I RESPOND IN CAPS TO your questions in lower case WITH PARAGRAPHS BROKEN FOR EASE OF READING.
    GUY
    ——
    My boyfriend smokes and it really bothers me. AND WELL IT SHOULD, BUT DON’T LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU’RE BOTHERED.

    I start to think in the future about us and maybe marriage too. AND WELL YOU SHOULD, BUT DON’T LET HIM KNOW IT. ASSUME THE ATTITUDE THAT YOU WON’T BE MARRYING HIM. IT HAS TO BE HIS IDEA TO BOTH QUIT SMOKING AND MARRY YOU. HIS IDEAS, NOT YOURS. START NOW: HINT SMILINGLY ABOUT THE ATTRACTIVENESS OF NON-SMOKERS GENERALLY. INDIRECTLY PLANT SEEDS THAT MEN ARE NEVER MORE HANDSOME THAN WHEN FREE OF DEPENDENCIES. LEAVE A GIGANTIC MYSTERY ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK OF HIM AND HOW YOU JUDGE HIM. YOU MAY INSPIRE THE IDEAS YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE ROOT. BUT NO GUARANTEES.

    I worry about his health and possibly not being there long enough for our children and myself. BUT HE DOESN’T. HE FIGURES HE CAN HANDLE THE FUTURE IF HE JUST TAKES CARE OF THE PRESENT.

    Is normal to think this way? OF COURSE. YOU’RE FEMALE AND IT’S NATURAL.

    I don’t know what to say to him. SAY NOTHING TO HIM ABOUT SMOKING. IMPOSE NEITHER GUILT NOR BLAME. FIND WAYS TO INDIRECTLY REFLECT YOUR LIKING OF NON-SMOKERS. FOR EXAMPLE, WALK IN NON-SMOKERS’ HOMES AND COMMENT HOW WONDERFUL IT SMELLS. DITTO FOR THEIR CARS. PLANT THE SEED THAT PEOPLE SMELL BETTER WHEN THEY DON’T SMOKE, BUT DON’T SAY IT DIRECTLY TO HIM. LET HIM INFER IT FROM YOUR ATTITUDE AND NOT YOUR WORDS DIRECTED AT OTHERS.

    I don’t want to be direct with him and tell him to stop. GOOD, BECAUSE IT PROBABLY WON’T WORK BUT IT WILL LIKELY WORK AGAINST YOU. IF HE QUITS FROM YOUR PRESSURES, HE WILL HOLD IT AGAINST YOU AND USE IT AGAINST YOU SOME DAY WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT AND PROBABLY CAN’T RECOGNIZE THE CAUSE OF IT.

    Help thank you. I TRIED ABOVE. NOW IT’S UP TO YOU. 1) MAKE A NEW DECISION NOW TO DROP HIM AS CANDIDATE FOR MR. GOOD ENOUGH. HE’S JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU TO MARRY. 2) ADJUST YOUR THINKING AND ATTITUDE; EXPECT TO LIVE WITH HIS SMOKING FOR LIFE.

    ONCE YOU COMMIT YOURSELF TO ONE OF THOSE DECISIONS, COME BACK AND WE’LL FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO NEXT. IT’S NOT HOPELESS; IT’S JUST TOUGHER THAN MOST OTHER THINGS WOMEN WISH TO SEE OR CAUSE.

    GUY

  8. Anne

    A resounding TRUE to all three!!

    Your Highness Anne,
    I love it when pretty women respond with opinions as I request.
    Guy

  9. My Husband's Wife

    13. T – BUT, until this blog, I didn’t know the “HOW” of accomplishing such.
    14. T – although to a fault. Am learning more authentic giving rather than giving based on “shoulds” where I end up being taken advantage of which then lowers my opinion of myself as I end up a sucker. What a difference!
    15. T

    Your Highness My Husband’s Wife,
    I love it when pretty women respond with opinions as I request.
    Guy

  10. LoveGrows

    13. T, however I apply this towards my boyfriend at this time. But, I have learned through this blog, more about what it means to make a man feel like a man ( which is what drives his behavior) rather than competing with a man. This understanding does bring solace into my world, and for that I am grateful. Whenever I feel anxious in my relationship now a days, I reflect on this and I can usually find that I have gone off track a bit in the gratitude and respect for my man.

    I have also found solace in prayer and reflection, especially in the concept of Grace. That has really taken me to the next level in my relationship as well.

    14. T, In my previous response to your last post, I referenced my step daughter and my desire to love her as deeply and authentically as possible, rather than just having an excellent relationship. From the outside, one would not know the difference in our interactions. However, on the inside, in my heart, in my female blessing, I knew I wanted more.

    This realization astounded me. I wept about it. My counselor (she works with me also as a christian counselor and psychotherapist) suggested this is God working though me and that it is God’s love for that child manifesting itself as love in my heart for her. Quite an astounding revelation!

    15.T.

    Your Highness LoveGrows,
    I love it when pretty women respond with opinions as I request.
    Guy

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