It’s the tenth group and I’m grateful for your earlier responses.
I continue taking the (currently 86) default attitudes for a test drive and your examination. (Bear with me awhile. I’m in the process of renaming Default Attitudes as Female Blessings from Birth.)
Please identify each item by its number and indicate true/false, as you see it. True means that a default item is part of female nature that women inherit at birth. It resonates in your heart as truth, even though you may never have thought of it.
False means that the item is missing completely from your heart, it’s something you learned during life, or you just don’t think women are born that way.
Where I explain or add, I could be wrong. Feel free to challenge me.
28. It comes so easy. I benefit from appreciating my man’s handiness, which also pleases him. [Guy adds: Male handiness is the birthright equivalent of female prettiness. Confirming each other in those domains is a mainstay of compatibility.]
29. I have my personality and roles wrapped up in the urge to be important to me and others. My self-respect and free will enable me to make the best choices to maximize benefits to all concerned. [Guy adds: Making herself important is a woman’s prime motivator in life. If she feels unimportant to her man, she tries harder. To the contrary, men tend to lose interest when they feel or are treated unimportantly by their woman.]
30. Even though it may be less than enjoyable for me, I enjoy praising husband’s sexual performance and ignoring whatever shortcomings I may detect. I like to fill the most vital role in his admiration of himself ‘in action’. It’s so essential to his sense of significance as compatible mate that I am unable to let my attitude or even discomfort be construed as disdain, that he lacks finesse, or that he doesn’t satisfy me. [Guy adds: Women learn from the opinion of others. Modern women tend to criticize first and deny that they can or even want to accept their man’s horizontal inadequacies. Since he can’t or doesn’t read her reactions and cater to her desires, he’s just not worth it. Yet, it seems that other parts of the female nature inherited at birth lead her to be tolerant, patient, and have hope of smoothing out his techniques and problems. Traits such as these. She’s eager to please. She seeks to be important to others. She appreciates her man’s undivided attention. She naturally bonds through intercourse, can swallow pride to please her man, uses patience and indirectness to influence her man, can accept being taken for granted, can accept being demeaned if her hopes and future aren’t threatened. Now, I’m not claiming that women should behave so favorably for him but at their expense. I’m claiming and ask you to tell me if I’m wrong; deep in a woman’s heart she knows that she should accommodate his sexual shortcomings more with hope and forgiveness than with criticism, corrections, or put downs. After all, sexual relations may seem to be the most obvious to him, but sex isn’t the primary ingredient of compatibility. IOW she quite naturally starts out wanting to please him in bed, even though later she may require something more favorable for her. Oh, and another thing. By praising at least some aspect of his performance in bed, it encourages him to perform even better, which brings about change however minor. With her care, patience, tenderheartedness, and understanding, she can coach in such a fashion as to ultimately bring changes that carry satisfying experiences for her. The self-fulfilling prophecy works when done well, but it takes time, patience, understanding, and indirectness—those things at which women as relationship experts excel quite naturally.]
Example for your response: “30-F ” works okay to reflect your opinion of false to that one item. Also, comments are welcome and desired if you take exception to anything.
Thank you for your opinions.