This is the eleventh group and I’m grateful for your earlier responses.
I continue taking the (currently 88) default attitudes for a test drive and your examination. (Bear with me awhile. I’m in the process of renaming Default Attitudes as Female Blessings from Birth.)
Please identify each item by its number and indicate true/false, as you see it. True means that a default item is part of female nature that women inherit at birth. It resonates in your heart as truth, even though you may never have thought of it. Don’t let my explanations alter your vote. How does the item register in your heart?
False means that the item is missing completely from your heart, it’s something you learned during life, or you just don’t think women are born that way.
Where I explain or add, I could be wrong. Feel free to challenge me.
31. I get endless enjoyment from nesting, nurturing, and nestling with loved ones. [Guy adds: It’s such a primal urge that women capitalize on using those skills as just other tasks among many. For example: They work around the house by putting off after-work relaxation. They hug children and even adults because it feels good. They amplify feeling good about themselves by sharing intimacy.]
32. I understand my work is never done, and that’s as it should be. [Guy adds: Both brightening her future and living a good life require extra output to confirm her importance to both herself and others.]
33. I understand that lovemaking is the man’s game but after-play intimacy is pretty much exclusively mine. [Guy adds: Orgasm releases him for sleep but not her completely. Even if she goes orgasmic, intimacy afterward is an endless wish that easily goes unfulfilled. Her mate’s sexual satisfaction is not sufficient to convince her of her overall importance. As with too few displays of affection, she seldom gets enough intimacy to confirm what she needs. She faces this male shortcoming. Men are poor readers even of their mates and even poorer appreciators of the female need for intimacy.]
Example for your response: “33-F ” works okay to reflect your opinion of false to that one item. Also, comments are welcome and desired if you take exception to anything.
Thank you for your opinions.
What Women Never Hear 
31- T sharing intimacy… is that why we have children. :o)
32. T …in a way (perhaps to me) it should never be done. that way it begins our day anew of present opportunities and future plans.
33. some what true… I no longer expect after play. (to many expectations crushed because of it) hand holding is fine with me.
Your Highness Surfercajun,
I love it when pretty women respond with opinions as I request.
Re your response to 32: It’s in your daily self-tasking that you plan and schedule tomorrow’s events, isn’t it? Your need for a brighter future and focus on the future make the seemingly endless workload very normal. When you stop, it takes your mind off of how to do better tomorrow.
Re your response to 33: That’s no reason to give up. Try coaxing and coaching him, indirectly and patiently, into seeing your needs a little more clearly. Start by building up your self-respect. Try it, you may like it.
Guy
31. T- however I don’t know if I’d call it “endless enjoyment”. lol…
32. T- I fully understand the notion, because my work does ensure a bright future, but sometimes I feel like my work SHOULD be done…I’m exhausted!
33. T- but it’s frustrating that men often “miss it” when it comes to female needs. Seems like the female intimacy cup is never filled. Is it because we’re conditioned to find fulfillment in everything but ourselves?
Your Highness Shanna,
I love it when pretty women respond with opinions as I request.
Re your response to 31: Don’t you feel better every time that you extend yourself to nest, nurture, and nestle? Then call it “repeated enjoyment.” Huh?
Re your response to 32: When you’re exhausted, I suggest you try this. Drink a huge glass of room-temp water and retire for several minutes of mirror time. Mission: Find at least five things about which you are very grateful.
Re your response to 33: This is a brilliant question. “Is it because we’re conditioned to find fulfillment in everything but ourselves?” Absolutely. Female happiness comes from gratitude, which comes from making herself important to others, which means she finds fulfillment in what she does. What others do for her reinforce her importance for which she’s recognized and rewarded, which encourages her to do more, which she does to and for those for whom she’s grateful, out of which grows female happiness.
Guy
Mr. Guy
Re # 31: Well, when you put it that way….you’re right! :-). Thanks for your suggestion for remedying my exhaustion!
31. Absolutely true. There is nothing better. I think the drive is so high here, that women often lose track of other areas of their lives. In any case, for me it is one of my strongest drives.
32. True. Work is never done. Even if life is outstanding, maintenance, often heavy maintenance, is required.
33. True. Sadly. As someone mentioned below, I don’t even expect it anymore. I know sleep follows (for him) and I’ll find something to do before my sleep. Possibly refreshing myself. Blog reading. Then my sleep. I miss this. This point made me sad. As another respondent below mentioned, perhaps the female needs cup will never be filled, as we don’t know how to fill it ourselves. I will say, however, reading this blog, leaning about “me time,” “pretty time,” and “mirror time” has gotten me closer to learning how to fill my cup a little more by learning that I must be the first one to admire myself everyday. I spend time on me because I like to look and feel elegant. This concept has really helped.
Your Highness LoveGrows,
I love it when pretty women respond with opinions as I request.
Re your responses to 31 and 32: You’re very mature.
Re your response to 33: Re your response to 33: That’s no reason to give up. Try coaxing and coaching him, indirectly and patiently, into seeing your needs a little more clearly. Start by building up your self-respect. Try it, you may like it.
Guy
31. Absolutely true. Agree with Love Grows.
32. True.
33. True. Feeling grateful for my husband who understands this need.
Your Highness Amyr002,
I love it when pretty women respond with opinions as I request.
Your maturity shines through too.
Guy
31. True
32. True
33, True but lately I’ve told him and reminded him that I would like it. At first he made fun of me (teasingly since it is rather cliche). But he is trying to do better about holding afterward and i appreciate his effort.
Your Highness MLaRowe,
I love it when pretty women respond with opinions as I request.
Re your comment on 33: Smile bigger in the morning and provide a treat or two as friendly reminder of how much more he’s now appreciated. Don’t mention it in bed, however, if he comes up short of what you expect.
Guy
I can do that. Still not enough holding for me. Should I remind him?
Your Highness MLaRowe,
Nothing direct but gently. Nudge, hint, plant seeds, smile on touching, eye-to-eye smiling, roll over closer, whisper, brag on his touch. Trust your intuition, patience, and his ability to want to please himself by pleasing you.
Guy
31. True. I even see it growing in younger girls. I am talking 3, 4 and 5 years of age. They want to share and give. She wants to brush my hair and gives me of her lollies 🙂
32. True. Never done, but I continue to try better each time.
33. True. He’s not too bad. He actually sometimes gets up and make me a sandwich and hot chocolate. Hmmmm is that considered after play?
Your Highness Cocoa,
Re 33: When sleep comes so naturally sought after, sandwich and hot chocolate are beyond after-play. It’s devotion of a rare kind.
Guy
Cocoa!!!
Oh yes. Hot chocolate and a sandwich after love making? Most definitely a form of after play if you ask me! Wonderful!!!
🙂 good for you!
Oh dear sir Guy, I am in tears!
See if you remember you figured out before that my husband is devoted to me more than me to him which is not the usual or how nature is designed. This is KILLING me.
Your Highness Cocoa,
Why are you upset? What more should a woman ask for than a man’s clearly defined devotion? When it exceeds hers, she has the greatest protection against abandonment. If you feel guilty, why? You already demonstrate the kind of conscience that energizes you to do even better in the devotion department. That’s an admirable trait, that which men call virtue. Keep at it. Your hubby is extremely fortunate.
Guy
I am upset sir Guy because, yes, I feel guilty. I want to give more but something is holding me back! I wouldn’t ask for more, no. His devotion makes me overlook (or at least try to) his flaws.
maybe just maybe, I am like this because I didn’t fall in love with him before marriage. But what is love? I see he loves me as he’s ultra devoted. I see I am i love him as I am faithful to him, as I respect him, as I stand up for him if anyone tried to hint that I am better than him.
A lady met me at a conference and said, oh Cocoa you look so good you look younger than last year, those heals are gorgeous. I said, I am looking better because [my husband’s name] is taking care of me.
I don’t know. But yeah, I am still in tears as I am typing.
I could be very hard looking for something that I already HAVE.
Your Highness Cocoa,
You are blessed, my dear. As you continue to give of yourself to hubby, children, and marriage, your love will expand, gratefulness grow, and vice versa. Your last sentence is worthy of reading again and again. Lock it in your memory just as written.
Guy
31 – T 32 – T But, I struggled a bit with this one. I know my work is never done, but don’t always cheerfully act like that is how I think it should be. 33 – T
Your Highness
I love it when pretty women respond with opinions as I request.
Guy
P.S. The more cheerful you decide to be, the more natural and feminine you act. It generates more gratitude for yourself, which enables you to be more grateful for others, which puts you farther along the road to happiness.
G.