The point has been made before. The accumulation of negative irritants and minor offenses can dissolve a relationship bit by bit and do it more easily than original reasons for mating can hold a couple together. Major negative influences easily lead to terminal disruption, such as these.
- Everyday carelessness in her appearance weakens his desire to look upon her as worthy of his investment. Men hate to be reminded that they may or in fact did err, and their imagination magnifies whatever mistake they do nothing about.
- Emotional outbursts weaken respect. Hers have the most damaging effect because his love is based on respect for her. Her respect of him is not as vital but still accumulates with all the other little things about him that turn her off.
- Emotional infidelity weakens his desirability, because women refuse to play second fiddle in their man’s life. He’s not nearly as sensitive to her emotional infidelity, but her physical unfaithfulness outweighs all reason for keeping her.
- Nagging weakens her likeability and indolence weakens his.
In fact, likeability is underrated as marital glue and is the subject of Part II tomorrow.
What Women Never Hear 
Emotional infidelity weakens his desirability… this reminds me of porn, sites with reviling lingerie, the other woman, or a woman he spends daily with at the office. Even speaking of other women’s body does wonders to weaken his desirability.
“Likeability” is something women never hear! If you like someone, generally they won’t rub you the wrong way and most of your time together will be positive in general. When a negative does come up, the positive times sure outweigh the flaw in most cases.
Today, we seem mostly concentrated on “what does he look like? “is he romantic?” or “what can he do for me?”
The worst case I’ve seen of this was a woman who moved her boyfriend in/out of her house numerous times over years. One of the times where they weren’t living together but still “together” someone asked, “why are you with him?” She replied, “I like him better when I don’t have to live with him.” When he’d move back in, people asked, “why did you do this?” She replied, “It’s nice having him pay my mortgage.” In essence, she basically never really “liked” him at all!
Today, we seem mostly concentrated on “what does he look like? “is he romantic?” or “what can he do for me?”
Yes, exactly, My Husband’s Wife. A lot of women today seen to have a real sense of entitlement, as though they “deserve” a good-looking, well-off, dashing single man in their life who showers them with attention simply because they are just so great. And they wonder why and complain that they can’t find a “good man!”
Sir Guy has explained in several places on this blog that when a woman radiates an inflated sense of her own self-worth that this is a REAL TURNOFF to men because, in addition to turning her into the seller instead of the buyer, it triggers the “competition” red flag wired into the male psyche.
I have also noticed that many frustrated and bewildered (as in, “bewildered that they aren’t married yet”) single women want an “instant spark.” If she is a homeowner with a white-collar career who practises yoga and shops at farmers markets she wants an “edgy creative, hipster type” with an interesting and prestigious job; a hardworking plumber or accountant is by definition “too boring” for her – there is “no spark” or “no chemistry,” she will say. And then she will whine and whine about being single! Unfortunately, this often results in an overall attitude of misandry, pointing the finger and saying “there is something wrong with men” — when in fact the problem, AND the solution, both lie with her.
I was reading a different blog this morning where a very intelligent 42-year old woman with a professional job was complaining about dating men who end up telling her they “aren’t interested in a relationship” who then turn around and become “serious” with someone other than her. Her conclusion: “most men are liars, “there are no good men,” etc. Then the other single women agree with her. It never occurred to any of them that he may find the other woman, but not her, suitable for a relatioinship, because by definition she is convinced of her own desirability. This is the consequence of what Sir Guy has described as “women listening to bad advice from other women about men.”
Sir Guy mentioned in the comments section a whiIe back that the idea of “instant connection” or “souI mate” is rooted in immaturity in that it is inherentIy seIf-centered, with too much focus on the seIf at the expense of the other person. I can’t recaII his exact words but his expIanation resonated with me, particuIarIy in Iight of the recurring pattern I have described above with so many singIe women.
I am getting a bit off-topic here, and I apologise for that, and for the length of this, but for the younger women reading, please DO NOT listen to the older single women who tell you there are “no good men,” (even if she has 12 degrees from Harvard, shops at Organic markets, has hiked the Himalayas, and has a bigshot corporate job). Instead listen to Sir Guy, who will teach you how to live in harmony with the male nature, and who said something very wise the other day which you should repeat to yourself every single day:
“IF YOU WANT A BETTER MAN, BECOME A BETTER WOMAN.”
Your Highness Cinnamon,
Another “Atta, girl” for you. Well and clearly phrased.
Guy
I agree on all four points above especially the first one. But with emotional outbursts, I have a question. If I come back from work and husband asks me what’s wrong and I start talking and got a bit emotional and teary as I was treated unfairly. He comforted me. But is that what you are talking about? Or something else?
Your Highness Cocoa,
No, darling, not what you describe. You released and he was there to comfort you. Well done!
I speak of outbursts for little or no reason or out of his bad habits or your impatience or other traits that demo lack of self-control and too often trigger marital disharmony.
Guy
Ladies,
I over promised. I can’t complete Part II of this series today. Come back on Monday. I hope to complete it by then.
Guy