2042. Single Women Don’t Pay — III


Interest in this series continue to sparkle, and the dialogue is informative. My part is to close gaps. To marry modern values with how the mind works in response to the very different natures of men and women. Here are a few random thoughts that have sprung up along the way.

  • It’s very old school that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Men eat to satisfy their taste buds, to indulge themselves as reward for their satisfying endeavors. Women aren’t like that. Their nature actually discourages overeating. Unfortunately, it doesn’t promote under-eating except to share with others.
  • If a guy says or implies that you’re a gold-digger (or similar disrespectful claim), respond with this, “Then just wait until you ask for sex.” Throw back in his face any question or rejection of you—or women for that fact. To shape his thinking your way, you must have standards and be willing to pass them to him explicitly when he applies un-respectful pressure. Men respect women for standing up for themselves  unexpectedly.
  • Men want their woman to depend upon them. If a woman provides even gas money, she robs him of his virginity for being totally dependable to her. IOW, cracked ice melts faster. Whatever her dependence, delivering it becomes less satisfying to him because he sold himself earlier.
  • Men won’t be individualistic, masculine, dependable, and independent enough for their own satisfaction if they are helped in the most fundamental task in a man’s life, earning a living. If not totally satisfied as a man, he won’t find enough satisfaction either dating a cost-sharing woman or living with a dependent mate. If he feels less than fully dependable to care for a responsibility that he has accepted, it steers him to prostituting his character on other matters. For example: 1) He takes dates to places that he knows they won’t like or drags them along to associate with buddies. 2) Doesn’t cheating come to mind when you think of a married man not satisfied with what he has produced or possesses, not satisfied with his performance as a man upon whom others depend?
  • Neither sex knows the other well enough to date effectively. It starts with each seeking to get the other to think them more likeable. Both try too hard to please or not displease the other. Both are too eager to not fail. Dating works better when they are guided by their instinctive natures, which mandates simplicity. A man wants a woman to listen to him. A woman wants a man to be pleasant and say promising things. A woman can silently hang onto what a man says from which he infers his own intellectual genius and satisfies himself that she’s worth his investment. Satisfied with her is the key. OTOH, her mystery is the encourager for him to talk, which both determines his likeability and enables her to judge his character as potential Mr. Good Enough. It works equally well and perhaps better over burgers or picnic than over complex meeting, seating, and eating expensively—the latter with all of its distractions and etiquette pressures that take one’s thoughts away from finding likeability in the other.

This isn’t posted to terminate the dialogue, but I’m so encouraged that I just have to resurrect the subject of submission. Hopefully coming soon to a screen near you. Here’s a teaser: Christian pastors handle it wrong.

 

5 Comments

Filed under courtship

5 responses to “2042. Single Women Don’t Pay — III

  1. surfercajun

    a woman provides even gas money, she robs him of his virginity for being totally dependable to her. …my spouse disagreed with this statement.

    (he says) When a woman offers money you do not have potential money issues because she thinks of the money as ours and hers. He went further on the state that after marriage she has the idea of he pay for most while she can play with hers.

    surfercajun: I did work at one point but it went into savings. This did however provide a hiccup as our savings/emergency but (more than once) was offered to help out his family.. Thankfully it passed like all things and I am a homemaker. So I depend on his income and he can decide to give his family money… or not. :o)

    This is a relief in itself.

  2. My Husband's Wife

    Another wow article, Sir Guy! I’m learning so much from this topic about the natures of women/men and how they work together—it’s valuable to all, even those of us who aren’t in the dating arena anymore.

    Second bullet: Love that response! Perfect! But to be honest, I never encountered a man I was on a date with who expected me to pay or even took issue to it. I would have to say this was about 20+ men, not all traditional. If I was to pay, it was because I insisted back then as I didn’t know better.

    Third bullet: Regarding gas money and the woman paying: I always think, “sugar mama” or “mothering” him, which isn’t the route a woman wants to go or how she is viewed by him. Interesting side note: I notice that my husband always wants to take responsibility for “the bill” at whatever restaurant–even when his dad offers to pay as we’ve all gone out together. His answer is always, “I got it.” Then his dad and him argue back and forth about it. And us women just sit looking back and forth as if we were at a ping pong match. And then each pays their own.

    Last bullet: Amen to that!!!!

    • My Husband's Wife

      …oh no! You’re gonna make us wait for the upcoming article on submission? Can’t wait to hear what you have to say on that matter. 🙂

  3. cocoa

    Leaving who pays aside for a bit and as this thought camr to me just now. Would you or should I view this as paying, not money of course, when a man waits for his date, fiancé or wife?

    I’ve noticed this recently, when a man is picking his woman up from somewhere and she’s so nervous that she’s delayed and rushing, then he greets her with a smile and says don’t rush I can wait. I see this as paying and paying big. You might think this is romantic, but I see it as paying.

    I know that guys don’t like waiting, they get so irritated to wait in general.

    I guess what I am getting at is that its much more than who’s paying the “bill”. it’s who’s paying attention, who’s paying paitience, who’s letting go of their ego (when you know it’s big) , who’s paying time, who paying effort and all that without saying much.

    Is he excited that he’s spending time with me? Is he finding any excuse to see me? Does it matter after that where and what and who is paying?

  4. Dove

    “Men want their woman to depend upon them.”

    Sir Guy,
    My boyfriend tells me that he feels like I don’t need him. There are rare occasions where I ask for his help or company, it’s just that it doesn’t happen as frequently as he expects. He feels bothered. Should I be? Thanks!

    Your Highness Dove,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    I suspect your body language and perhaps your words send the message that you’re independent. You can do without him. If not, then he reads you in that or similar fashion.

    Try leaning on him more physically, smilingly, and for advice. What he concludes is far more important than what you say or try to convey directly. Shift more into indirectness. Involve him with eyes and smiles, hints of admiration, seed planting about his potential and ambition. Indirectly let him know that your future is wrapped up in him, his logic, his ability, his strength of character.

    Guy

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