Submission is founded on male self-serving biblical interpretations and expectations of male dominance. The harmonized married life starts with this simple cause-and-effect loop. Wife uses her submissive spirit to calm husband’s desire that she always submit, which weakens his need to use dominance to get his way, which makes her indirectly more influential, which further reduces his insistence on her submission, which enables him to let his dominance fade in favor of cooperating more with her, which enables her to continue moving around the loop until their decision-making process is sufficiently harmonized.
The numbered situations and pointers continue below. They provide a keener understanding of how such things work to wife’s advantage and to enhance husband’s ability to work as a team and appreciate her as a more valuable partner.
4. Submission is what men think they expect, which doesn’t mean they know what they want. It is a manly argument that men use to win their point, to act and appear dominant, to defend their seemingly invaluable role as provider-protector. They take the simple and easy approach. Submission is biblical and sounds natural and is therefore used as a male expectation. Women are far more detailed and precise in what they expect out of men, themselves, and a teamed-up couple.
5. Men expect female submission because it prevents challenges to the manly role of provider-protector, the man upon whom others depend. However, he’s the man upon whom also falls shortcomings in effectiveness. When women arbitrarily submit unto their husband—at his insistence rather than their own preference—they forgo their influential position and, incidentally, lose some of their man’s respect.
6. If men do not have to defend or prove themselves, they can be amenable and much less inclined to seek or require submission. Guess, who is most likely to prompt men to want to defend or prove themselves?
7. Women are foolish if they accept submission as men demand and claim it as privilege or natural right. Your best strategy is to ignore the subject in all its shades and even descriptions from the pulpit. Refuse to accept what you hear and don’t talk about it. Don’t get honked at what the pastor says and take it home. First, involving yourself in the subject does not advance your agenda. Second, it has the effect as getting in husband’s face, which puts him in competitive mode to defend his faux or real beliefs. In the final analysis, submission is not relevant to your future life anyway, so why accept it? Your in-born submissive and cooperative spirits, when used wisely, can neutralize husband’s dominance. Calm his insistence on submission, and you can subdue his dominance.
8. Some men are more controlling and domineering and expect more submission than others. They are easy to detect. When dating she watches. During courtship she explores. When engaged she validates. When married she works—very indirectly and patiently—to change it. All the time she dances around and watches for red flags. The greater his support that women submit, the greater her workload will be to convince him otherwise both before and after marriage, but that is another talent she inherits at birth.
Can you use some more wife-promoting situational awareness? Come back tomorrow.