2056. Submissive #10 — Nudging: Her Best Tool


I continue with submissive situations that make women more aware of what’s happening between the sexes. ‘Nudge’ means hint, planted seed, wordless suggestion, nod of conviction, and seemingly non-judgmental passing of a thought one spouse to the other.

29. It’s her nature in action. Seeking success in her nesting and family development, wife assumes whatever role she can and works from there. Where she can get her way without disturbing husband, she does. Where he resists her domestic hubris, she plays around it. For the most part, she anticipates well and plans to keep brightening their future together. [Guy adds: As natural as night and day, she uses her submissive spirit to subdue his primal urge to dominate. She does it and he reacts favorably. If not, she recovers and continues to smoothly and delicately reach for harmony in their relationship. Harmony begins when he starts humming her tune.]

30. It suggests a subordinate role, so women hate the term submission. When she argues the subject, however, it’s an offense that drives husband toward “We’ll see about that.” [Guy adds: Nevertheless, it’s very natural that it appear unequal on the surface. It exemplifies the notion that fairness rather than equality governs human relations both better and best. How can that be? If wife strives for equality, she lights the Olympic flame of competition and the games never end. However, she’s designed and prepared by her nature to live a winning life within a domestic structure of apparent inequality but actual fairness that she can generate mostly by herself.]

31. Submissiveness implies spirited support of husband’s role as half of the team that wife has put together. ‘Submission’ is just what men call it. The wise and skillful wife morphs all disagreements toward cooperative resolution. [Guy adds: Nothing works better than a little nudge here, a little nudge there and determining just what nudges will help promote her agenda tomorrow. As she plans nudges, her natural female patience expands within her heart. It’s amazing how feminine patience breeds more of itself. The greater her patience, the better her nudges produce the results she seeks. You’ve heard it many times on this blog, wife can’t change her husband as she plans or intends. That’s still true. But nudges are not the same. She isn’t trying to change him; she’s just fulfilling her agenda. Fulfilling her responsibility to generate eternal love to replace the romantic love that fades after a year or two. Nudges help bond him with her agenda.]

32. The wise wife anticipates decision time, lays groundwork to inject her interest in support of their agenda, and almost silently makes mutual their interests before decision time arrives. It only comes from a spirit of submissiveness that makes unnecessary her husband’s need to defend his dominant role. Wife has mastered the art when her skillful nudges keep them in cooperative rather than competitive roles. [Guy adds: Moreover, when she uses her talent and skill to gently get her way, she lacks both time and reason to fault him. As she ever-nudges successfully, she magnifies her worth in both her heart and his. How does she determine success? If he objects to her nudges, she isn’t nudging right or she’s judging, blaming, and implying to herself that he’s inadequate for her and calling it nudging.]

33. Wives misplay their hand when they take submission literally to mean bowing under, strict obedience, or fawning acceptance of husband’s authority. It is playing the man’s game, which she can’t win because she loses his respect or never gains more. [Guy adds: When she hears that women should submit as men and pastors claim it, she should giggle inside. She’s in control. If she hears it from husband, however, the giggle should fade into concluding that she’s doing something wrong. She needs better nudging, fewer recoveries, and more admiration of who he is in his world and what he does to her world.]

More coming soon about a wife’s eternal battle with her man’s expectations.

 

4 Comments

Filed under feminine

4 responses to “2056. Submissive #10 — Nudging: Her Best Tool

  1. Magnolia

    Sir Guy, thanks once again for such beautiful, uplifting, and encouraging post. It makes me feel optimistic about my future.

    Come to think of it, I should just copy and paste the same message after every post. God bless. 🙂

  2. krysie869

    Hey Sir Guy,

    I have been following your advice so far trying to be more feminine and being more positive. But anyway, I don’t know if this is the right post for my question, but I am posting it anyway out of sheer curiosity:

    If a guy is interested in a woman, at least to some degree, why wouldn’t he approach her to ask her questions about herself? Why would he ask a female acquaintance or another sex target or a male family member about her behavior? Why not ask the girl herself? I have noticed this with me alot. I would hear guys asking about me to others, for example, he would tell them, “Why does she behave that way?” or “Why is she doing that?” or “Is she always that way?”. Sometimes, they would approach me, sometimes not. But when they do approach it’s mostly surface level conversation, casual conversation. But they never ask me those personal questions. Why is this? I also notice some women behave this way too. I obviously don’t understand that, because if I am interested enough in someone I would ask them questions personally to get to know them. Is it because I am too mysterious for their liking? Is it because of insecurity on their part?

    Your Highness Krysie869,

    I mostly have questions. However, you try to be more feminine and positive. Dramatically so? Big changes? Overdo it in the least and it could raise such questions. If you change dramatically to someone else in their eyes, they don’t know how to take you. They question whether they know you. They suspect their acceptance of you is questionable in their eyes. Other than that, I have only questions.

    • What’s the context of the situation? What are you doing or have just done when such questions are asked?

    • Are they smiling or joking perhaps? Trying to tease you indirectly?

    • Do you actually hear the questions or imagine that it must be that?

    • Why do you think they let or want you to hear them ask?

    • Why do you expect them to be or act like you? Example, “if I am interested enough in someone I would ask them questions personally to get to know them.”

    • Several or more of the questioners are insecure in themselves? They’re all alike that way?

    • Have you inquired of those who receive such questions why they think they were asked? Might be some ideas there.

    • Do you actually hear the questions or imagine that it must be what you write above?

    • Have you thought perhaps your voice, manner, appearance, or actions beg such questions? IOW, should you be the one to change to stop such questions instead of expecting them to act differently or more directly with you? Just asking, so don’t take offense. We can’t find a likely explanation without inquiring about the whole interactive picture.

    Help me figure out what you are undergoing.

    Guy

  3. krysie869

    Thanks for responding.

    I haven’t changed dramatically really. Just trying to think more positive.

    They tend to ask such questions without knowing me personally or very well like on an acquaintance level. For example, we are introduced by another person who he/she knows better. Once they think I am out of sight, I would hear he/she ask “Does she live here?”, “Is that your sister?”, “Why is that on her shoe?” all referring to me. Once I come back into the picture, silence. Are they shy? Are they clique-ish?

    In fact, many of them I have just met, but I would overhear (not imagine, but actually hear) them ask personal questions about me to my sister or another family member of mine, but they do not ask me personally. I always found that strange. Like they were playing hard-to-get. Normally, in those situations, I am just quiet. Again, I consider myself a quiet and introverted person and so do most people as well. Could this be a factor? Sometimes I smile at them despite them talking or try to ignore them talking about me.

    With men, I assume they are interested in me physically which is why they say these things to others and want a faster way to conquest by not asking me personal questions directly. Like they are taking some sort of short cut by asking others who may or may not have the information. Also, with men, when they say these things it is not in a joking manner, it seems more out of curiosity.

    In both cases, I am usually minding my own business whether by myself or with others when this is all going on. I have asked maybe once or twice before, “Something like why would you say that?” and I would get either a blank stare or a shrugged shoulder.

    I assume they want me to hear them ask as a way to guilt me to change if it is a woman. But, if it is a man, to yield intercourse.

    Oh yes, I have often thought that it was something about me that threw people off. But honest to God, I don’t know what. I consider myself decently attractive otherwise I wouldn’t have some men wink at me or smile after me talking to them. I have always thought it was my behavior, like they assume something about me without any intention of wanting to know me better. Not everyone behaves this way of course, just a lot that I felt like I have to complain on this blog.

    Your Highness Krysie,

    Now I think I get the picture. Either you have incredible hearing or you’re just not super-approachable. What they do is perfectly normal. They satisfy their curiosity differently from your standard way. People don’t want to know everybody. Those that do aren’t discriminating enough to have a life of their own.

    Your complaints are welcome here. But I don’t see that you have complaints about what you describe. And anyway, better they are curious than disinterested.

    Congratulations. Now you can figure out how to make the most of it. Eliminating doubt and perhaps distrust through our blog exchanges can enable you to smooth out the way you impact people, make yourself more approachable if that is what you choose.

    Guy

    • Krysie869

      Thanks! What ways do you suggest for me to become super approachable to men without seeming desperate? I am not an outgoing person by nature and I don’t want to seem fake. It seems men are more interested in more outgoing women. I smile, but I don’t think that’s enough, as if I lost the competition because I am not outgoing.

      Your Highness Krysie,
      Give article 1541 a test drive. See if it helps.
      Guy

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