2061. Female Blessings at Birth — 61-63


EDITOR’S NOTE: I detect disinterest in this series. Is there too much of it? Irrelevant to your life? Inaccurate or too speculative? Make you uncomfortable? I’ve not lost my conviction that the major impediment to female happiness in society today is this. Women are not grateful enough for themselves as unique individuals. They too much want to be thankful that they are like everyone else, which is sour thinking for gals seeking happiness with a lifetime mate. The best men marry women who are unique, different from other gals. Poorer candidates for marriage have to take what’s left over. In our case here, it means gals who have little different to offer than sex, which doesn’t make them different to men thinking long term.

Nevertheless, for now, I continue with the project of asking for your agreement/disagreement on the long list of blessings that women inherit at birth. This is the 21st group of three blessings, and I’m grateful for your responses. Especially those that signify your agreement or disagreement, T or F.

61. I know that my mirror-reflected image is both my best friend (next to Jesus) and one to whom I cannot lie for very long. It constantly varies, but in front of a mirror I’m grateful for either the mirror, my image, or myself. Consequently, a mirror works as a reliable pick-me-up. [Guy adds: I am frequently asked why I recommend mirror time each morning. The reasons are scattered in several article and too numerous for here. I shall prepare a new summary article, so don’t let me forget it.]

62. I unconditionally respect people and loved ones. It’s an awesome power that I can trust people whom I know until evidence and good reason reveal that I shouldn’t. [Guy adds: This is always worth repeating. If you want to be trusted by someone, show them more respect. If you want to be respected, show them more trust. Let that percolate within your parental mind too.]

63. I am intuitively able to give people benefit of the doubt until they prove undeserving of it. [Guy adds: Two natural reasons are behind that female trait. First, females are primarily givers until turned against it or for certain things. Second, giving benefit of the doubt is a vital technique for relationship experts; give it up and expertise is weakened.]

Example for your response: “63-F ” works okay to reflect your opinion of false to that one item. Also, comments are welcome and desired, especially if you take exception to anything. And even more especially, if you will respond to the Editor’s Note at the top.

 

11 Comments

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11 responses to “2061. Female Blessings at Birth — 61-63

  1. It’s not that I’m disinterested in what is naturally given to women at birth, it’s that I have no idea. I don’t know how to respond.
    What I think I know we are born with are these: We are born to be sorrowful. That is, we cry more easily. We are born to have a desire to please our man. If not in marriage, we might find other ways to please men (and not just sexually). We are born to be in submission to man, though we really don’t like it. It’s in us to fight this and deny to ourselves that this is part of being a woman. We are born with a tendency to believe ridiculous things of the spiritual nature if we are not careful. We are born to want to give life, to care for and protect a baby. We are born to want to serve. (The sorrowful, serving and pleasing our man may explain #63)
    Sometimes, I get bogged down in your meaning or words. I leave it to the more intelligent women to figure out what you are meaning. So, these are my reasons I have skipped this series. I’m so sorry.

    Your Highness Sharonwithmaryandmartha,

    Heaven forbid that you’re sorry. I love it when pretty women think and write so clearly. Your summary is great too. Very accurate but one point doesn’t give you enough credit.

    “We are born to be sorrowful. That is, we cry more easily.” I think you’re born to live through and recover from sorrow. You cry easily from joy and happiness too. IMHO, women are blessed with immense character strength to later find joy that melts sorrow. IOW, sorrow isn’t natural but a condition that women are blessed to handle well given time and empathy. Much better than men when deep sorrow hits them.

    You don’t get very bogged down in meaning or words if you see this connection. It’s very astute of you. “We are born to want to serve. (The sorrowful, serving, and pleasing our man may explain #63)” [#63 cites female ability to give people the benefit of the doubt.]

    Well done, darling. You went above and beyond the call of duty as the military praises superb performance.

    Guy

  2. Peach Blossoms

    61 – T. What you said about constant tuning up is true too – I personally feel that practice makes perfect and I’m getting better and better at prettifying myself. 🙂
    62 – T. Comes naturally.
    63 – T.
    I’ve only found myself being able to clearly identify with some of the blessings. Many of the blessings which are concerned with marriage are behind my experience, for now. For many of the other blessings, I haven’t been able to unequivocally say if those are innate or not. And some just didn’t strike a chord.
    I think you have your finger on it, but I also feel that may tie back to what you said about women lacking the inner self-conviction that what they do is right. Or rather, maybe they don’t have as much of it as men do, and so look to be part of the majority for assurance. Even if a woman is proud to be unique, I don’t think she’s free from some occasional self-doubt, especially in modern times.
    And since I’m commenting, I just want to express my appreciation for all that you do. Other blogs tend to fall along the fault lines you identify here and whilst reading them can be enlightening (to see some of the natural impulses you talk about at work), it can get pretty one-sided and depressingly rancorous fast. There are other bloggers who talk about similar issues, but you’re the only blogger and gentleman that I know of offering so much comprehensive advice that encourages uplifting feminine thinking and behaviour via-à-vis men. And of course, shining a light on the male nature. Men are never more handsome than when they behave magnanimously and without rancour.

    Your Highness Peach Blossoms,

    Nice and informative response, you’re a sweetie. You write well too.

    You say, “women lacking the inner self-conviction that what they do is right.
    Or rather, maybe they don’t have as much of it as men do, and so look to be part of the majority for assurance.” You spotlight a simple difference in the sexes but with a complex cause. And it’s not a flaw, just a result of deeper motivational forces. Women should not look down upon themselves. It fits in perfectly with the rest of the female nature and for the reason you cite, “look to be part of the majority for assurance.”

    The prime motivator of females is to be self-important by being important to others. But she gains it indirectly, by finding gratitude in others that rebounds as her importance to them. The indirectness causes a lag in feedback which prompts doubt that “what they do is right.”

    OTOH, the prime motivator of men is to earn self-admiration. Their everyday accomplishments deliver satisfaction which prompts self-admiration, which confirms the rightness of decisions and thus leaves little room for self-doubt. If they feel satisfied and usually don’t stop unless they are, then they are convinced of their rightness.

    Convinced that one is doing right is much easier for men; it comes directly from their own self-conviction. Not as direct for women, they take the long way around of depending on others.

    Guy

  3. Rachel

    I am an avid reader of your writings. I just don’t comment much. I do really enjoy the female blessings at birth series because I can identify myself and also because I am raising 3 young daughters (and 2 growing sons). Same husband and wife, same family… Yet our daughters are just so different than the sons. I want not to ruin them and for them to rejoice in the first ordination God has given them: creating them female.

    Your Highness Rachel,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    Re raising three young daughters. Please do me a favor if you’re so inclined and time permits. Evaluate one of my series and let me know on a scale of 1-10, how valuable it might be for a mother(including teaching boys). I think good, of course, but I’ve never had it reviewed for its worth to parents. The series is Boot Camp for Girls.

    Thanks and don’t let it burden your time. No rush.

    Guy

  4. Gita

    Good Morning!

    (61.) TRUE.
    I used to never do this, but now it’s to the point where I sometimes tell myself in the mirror; “I love you”. Louise Hay may pique your interest about this “I love you” exercise, check her out on YouTube to see if you get anything from it. I also feel like my reality can serve as my mirror too, but that’s even harder to explain than the actual mirror itself concept.

    (62.) TRUE.
    I feel like this would not be possible without confidence in yourself first though. You have the ability to give that unconditional love and trust because you have yourself to fallback on if all else fails.

    (63.) TRUE.
    This ties in with my reasoning behind #62. I especially agree that when you no longer can give this benefit of the doubt, you cannot see other possible conclusions or solutions because you give everyone a cookie cutter mold. Thus in the end, hindering yourself.

    Spot on, I look forward to the next post!
    P.S. I responded to the Editor’s Note on post #2061. :]

    Your Highness Gita,
    This is great thinking. “…when you no longer can give this benefit of the doubt, you cannot see other possible conclusions or solutions because you give everyone a cookie cutter mold.”
    Guy

    ❤ Gita

  5. surfercajun

    61. -T so very and vitally important to women. To me, reflected mirror time is (in a sense) reflected heart time. Because of quality mirror time my spouse says that I am beginning to look younger as when we were first dating. That was a huge compliment!

    62-T knowing that I am the go between, the Daniel in the lion’s den at times, and the elixir soother. It makes great strives when problems arrives in the family unit. Not to take way what has been said but respect at this level is important when an argument ensues.

    63- T I will always give someone the benefit of doubt. Simple mistakes, misquotes words, and forgotten points. I am told I am TOO trusting and to doubt more. But when that has happen, I have lost disconnections with people and with who I am and my femininity.

    ps. it is not that I am not interested in this series, but your sayings are deep and thoughtful. It takes time as I read through them yesterday yet needed time to reflect. 🙂 To me, we need a wise male figure to stand sentry now more than ever. I am deeply grateful for your words whether pointed or in kind. You have guided my heart thinking in which has changed my view on mirror time and how I view and respond to men whether spouse or gentleman. I work to implement your sayings into my life. I feel blessed to know you. I hope other women feel the same. 🙂

    Your Highness Surfercajun,
    I love it when pretty women respond with opinions as I request.
    Guy

  6. gonemaverick

    61-63, T

    Your Highness Gonemaverick,
    I love it when pretty women respond with opinions as I request.
    Guy

  7. Guy,

    Sometimes the thing we need the most is not the thing we request. I just came to your website because I noticed a dip in my mood and an increase in negative thoughts, and as I expected here was the perfect thing for me. It is tempting to wallow in our sorrow, but your exercises in building feminine self-gratitude are miraculous.

    Thanks as always for everything.

    Your Highness Sunny Shah,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    I love it when pretty women say things about building self-gratitude.

    Guy

  8. Melissa

    61- True. Looking good is uplifting. We are always sneaking a look at ourselves in reflections. Bad haircuts can be thoroughly demoralizing, great haircuts are like a refreshing makeover.
    62- True. Women and especially young women and girls are naturally very trusting, I believe that is our true nature. Untrusting females are generally unhappy and unfeminine.
    63- True, but has been abandoned by most modern women. Many women are suspicious and cold, especially to women who are more attractive, gentle or feminine. I think it is in the feminine nature to prefer smoothness in harmony in social interactions, but it is not something that one can expect these days.

    About the Editor’s Note: Yes, I think that is a most eloquent description. Many women try to be the best at conforming to modern standards, which means slightly different things to different women, but generally it means being cool or cosmopolitan, and her job/career, vacations and social life are usually front and centre. It often involves a self-focus and showing off for attention, which is unimpressive to the best men. Frequently these women get married or cohabitate, but not to the best men, and not to men who are truly devoted to them and desiring to financially support them.
    “Women are not grateful enough for themselves as unique individuals… The best men marry women who are unique, different from other gals.”

    Your Highness Melissa,
    I love it when pretty women respond with opinions as I request.
    Guy

  9. Shanna

    MR. Guy,
    I’ll admit, my interest in this series was starting to wane a little but thank you for the reminder that “women are not grateful enough for themselves as unique individuals.” I needed that!
    61-T
    62-T
    63-T

    Your Highness Shanna,
    I love it when pretty women respond with opinions as I request.
    Guy

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