“Love is the morning and evening star.” Or so Burt Lancaster preached in Elmer Gantry.
Women love to hear love described in endearing terms with magical qualities. But dreams of devotion to the well-being of someone seem to produce too much modern-day weakening of mutual love. Unintended consequences too often seem to follow a woman’s or mom’s best and most lovable efforts. Within both couples and families, loving relationships crumble too easily. Females continue to lose their ability to tame the male beast, socialize men into domestic prospects, and complete their domestication within the family unit. The main cause follows.
The receiver of love expects to see three ingredients that the giver usually doesn’t consider—respect, trust, and like females for who they are; and respect, trust, and like males for what they do. As those are not felt on the receiving end of a woman’s love, it weakens her importance to objects of her love.
When women feel less important to those around them, they try harder. However, she focuses on making herself important, which doesn’t work. Frustrated, she tries harder but it doesn’t work. Seeking to be important causes her to slide into ever less importance to those around her. It’s selfishness personified to try to convince someone of your importance to them.
Her problem: She loves as she’d like to be loved, which means loved for who she is. She loves without thinking or knowing HOW to show love that is appreciated by love objects.
There is a missing link in the closed loop of mutual love. The primary giver has to set the example and women and moms are the primary givers. The missing link is gratitude and successfully showing love work like this.
She finds gratitude for the respectability, trustfulness, and likeability of those she loves. Regardless of age, even with toddlers. With such gratitude guiding her heart, her expressions of love signal that the loved ones are respected, trusted, and liked. That makes them grateful and their feedback conveys that she’s important to them, which emphasizes her sense of self-importance, which enhances her ability to find more gratitude and thus have her love more appreciated.
Thus, gratefulness for all things, which is the road to happiness, empowers her love in ways that expand her importance. The more important she appears on the radar of her loved ones, the more it confirms their self-respect, -confidence, and -worth, which makes them more grateful for her, which adds further to her self-importance, which intensifies her ability to love more believably.