2095. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 96


  • Women have pretty much convinced everyone that men are the primary culprits for mucking up relationships. Women are experts on managing relationships but men are not, so even equal blame may not be appropriate.
  • Infatuation is a powerful inducement to do wrong by letting feelings override a woman’s thinking. The infatuated girl or woman too easily disregards or fails to exploit the character shaping and guidance provided by God, modesty, vanity, morality, and the rest of her female nature.
  • Women do not have to embrace the feminist ideology to embrace feminist values. For example, modern women expect or sanction teen sexual activity to attract masculine attention. They let or teach daughters to dress like hookers, show cleavage to match plumber backside exposure, and dress erotically. Boys and men learn to insist on more and more, and females of every age acquiesce. Nowadays, boys exploit girls as friends with benefits. Men grow older eyeballing more and more exposed skin and dreaming wishfully or wistfully about going from older bloom to younger blossom. Compatibility decays further under social pressure to cheat rather than respect one’s mate. [131
  • A connected difference exists and women ignore or miss this point of nature today. Women hug a man to be held. Men hug a woman to kiss or more. Thus, the common practice of everyone hugging everyone confirms the woman’s importance at each man’s expense—he’s challenged. He may feel awkward with self-restraint or thrilled with the feel of the female body.
  • Why don’t women like to be approached or hit on by strange men? They don’t know how to react successfully because they lack self-confidence that arises out of self-respect that arises out of self-gratitude. IOW, they are not grateful for themselves and don’t like to be reminded of what they don’t deserve.
  • Females inherit typical female convictions, motivations, and qualities at birth in many combinations and variations. Each woman is born unique, and men have an endless variety of women in which to find virtue and from which to choose a virtuous mate. IOW, women are born to be virtuous as men define it, and men determine virtue by the unique female qualities they see in each woman. It means that each woman competes against women for virtuous uniqueness in order to have more options to pick and choose the best man for her.
  • Success in marriage depends basically on two factors. 1) She depends on what he does, his actions. On what he does to, for, and about her, which she perceives with her secondary sensor, her eyes. 2) He depends on her words. On what, how, and why she says to, for, and about him, which he perceives with his secondary sensor, his ears. It means success in marriage requires both sexes to pay less attention to their primary sensors. What she hears and what he sees are not the major determinants.

 

13 Comments

Filed under Dear daughter

13 responses to “2095. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 96

  1. Shermy

    Fantastic points Sir Guy!

  2. surfercajun

    It means success in marriage requires both sexes to pay less attention to their primary sensors. What she hears and what he sees are not the major determinants….I was curious about this statement. What category does this go into? He says he will do something which would bring pleasure to/for her. (she hears), but she then never (sees) it go to fruition. ….ie he forgets, something came up, does not remember saying it. Sometimes, i don’t

    Your Highness Surfercajun,

    No, not when she takes notice and finds blame that he failed her although that can burn his ears too.

    He will pay more attention to what she says than what she does, so her being incautious or inconsiderate with her words can flood his psyche with dislike for what he hears, which can morph over time to dislike of her. OTOH she sees what he does but doesn’t give credit by saying what she thinks of his approach or timeliness more than how much she’s grateful for his ability and presence with her.

    Guy

    • surfercajun

      (my computer posted before finishing)

      Sometimes I don’t know if I believe what I hear.

    • surfercajun

      it starts with one person that can change everything.

      Today I gave credit to him for handling a family situation last night I was frustrated over. Credit was given to me to allow for a lesser punishment for the incarcerated one in case I thought it was too rough. (ie one week punishment instead of two) I am trying hard to give credit to others as well as him when something is done for me…but remember the favor/act/gift at a later time… next day, next couple of days, next week…depending on what it is. I believe sometimes when somethings are said, he was trying to make me happy. Recently he told me he did not mean to forget about it but that other things were on his mind. Seems to me you were right, Guy. He has to remember what he says and what he will do. I just have to be patience about it…even six months later when he does remember and mentions it. I just shrug, grin, and say it is no big deal dropping it completely. It gives him a choice and an out to think on either it IS or it IS NOT.

      On a more pleasant note: I still remind him of the daffodils he picked for me on the side of the road so many years ago when our oldest was a toddler. :o)

  3. I’m going to be careful about those “friendly” hugs after church from now on. {:-]

    • surfercajun

      yes, i agree…Sharon….. in some ways… my daughter and i don’t like for men we don’t know well to hug or touch us without feeling more comfortable around them or even our permission. (family/ good friends) We don’t mind flirting but the touching thing… nah uh. hugs are OUT of the question

      …it could be the vibe as well. Mostly older men and women touch in a way that is friendly and non evasive.

      …but perhaps that’s just us! :o)

  4. Tanisha

    Infatuation gets me everytime!! I really struggle with this. I know It’s my fairytale thinking that this guy is different….he wouldn’t disrespect me…..i’m not like the other women he’s dated. Then the disrespect from him rears its ugly head and all your teachings on chaste courtship, virtual virginity and Knowing Jack about Jack come crashing in on me. Sigh. I’m gonna keep moving toward recovery. Again. But I tell ya one thing, this road aint easy. Or maybe it is and i’m just a hot mess 🙂

    Your Highness Tanisha,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    This might help. Study deeply each item in Female Blessing at Birth. Claim as many as you can be grateful for. You are much more greatly blessed than you have ever believed, but you must upgrade your beliefs before things change significantly.

    Guy

  5. Tanisha

    Mr. Guy,
    Speaking with a few lady co-workers has led me to believe infatuation is a major issue with a lot women. Can you recall any posts you’ve made that deals with this specifically?

    From this young lady’s experience, guys can sense when you’re holding back and call it “playing games”.

    Your Highness Tanisha,

    I don’t think I’ve spent much if any time on infatuation. I wasn’t aware it was the problem you mention.

    You all should be “playing games.” Better to keep men off balance. You’re the relationship expert. Your objective should be to keep him from knowing you until he works his way into your favor. Keep the pleasantness, cheerfulness, and smiles shining while your infatuation melts into reality from the fun you’re having.

    Guy

    • That Horse Is Dead

      NOTE: I RESPOND IN BRACKETS AND CAPS TO your questions in lower case WITH PARAGRAPHS BROKEN DIFFERENTLY FOR EASE OF READING.

      Sir Guy,

      How does a potential Mr. Good Enough react when he is caught off balance by a woman of interest who he perceives is “playing games”? What should a woman hope to see in his behavior and actions that is different from Mr. Not Good Enough? [CONTINUED INTEREST IN HER IF HE FINDS HER GAME PLAYING CHALLENGING, FUN AT BEST, AND CURIOUS AT LEAST. MEN EXPECT AND ACTUALLY ENJOY THAT WOMEN ARE MYSTERIOUS. HER GAME CAN BE THAT AND MAKE HER MORE LIKEABLE AT THE SAME TIME. WHEN MEN CAN FIGURE OUT A WOMAN, THEIR RESPECT DECLINES. WHICH TRANSLATES TO THIS: HER EASE OF DISCLOSURE SINKS HER OWN SHIP.]

      Will there be a time that he pulls back (especially if long time bachelor or hurtful divorce in his past) while he figures out whether she’s worth the challenge? [PERHAPS, BUT THE GREATER HER MYSTERY AND HIS INTEREST, THE EASIER AND QUICKER HE FORGETS BAD EXPERIENCES IF SHE APPEARS DIFFERENT THAN THOSE BEFORE. HOWEVER, IF HE’S BEEN FINANCIALLY RAPED, HE MAY BE PERMANENTLY WIRED AGAINST MARRIAGE. REMEMBER, SOUR MARRIAGES TURN WOMEN AGAINST MEN AND MEN AGAINST MARRIAGE.]

      I notice in your female blessings at birth #17, “Her blessing: I love the battle of wits to determine who conquers whom first. His admiration: You’re too good at it. You make my life tougher than it should be. Perhaps you’re too hard for me to get (implying respectability).” [SUBTLE, IS IT NOT? BUT IT PUTS HIM ON DEFENSE WHICH MEANS SHE’S ON OFFENSE SIMPLY ENJOYING THE GAME OF DETERMINING WHO CONQUERS WHOM FIRST.]

    • anon....

      “you should be ‘playing games'”
      because they would be playing them with YOU if you don’t watch out

      IN 1911, there was a song written by Charles Dawes called
      Melody in A Major
      played by violin. Later in 1951, it was finally given LYRICS and the song was changed to IT’S ALL IN THE GAME.. meaning she is always kept waiting.. and don’t forget the first lyrics “many a tear has to fall….”

      Your Highness Anon.,
      Yes, I remember it pretty well. Beautiful music. Thanks for the history about it. However, I miss your point. Are you by any chance suggesting that the game should not be played? Should not be accepted as real life? Should be prayed or expected out of existence? That women should call it or expect it to be something else? Or that men should?
      Guy

  6. anon...

    “women hug a man to be HELD”
    SO TRUE.. imo, SINCE a long time ago, few women even HUGGED their boyfriends,etc, in public, because the man had his arm around her shoulder at all times when dating=
    what is happening now, few girls know anything positive about the male nature, but even They get desperate for a ‘boyfriend’ that they would let the guy USE THEM….
    I ALSO don’t like how many modern non feminist women are acting allowing girls to wear revealing clothing.. its possible they are single moms

  7. Lisa

    I only hug my girls friends I always felt strange hugging male friends. But some of my male friends are too friendly and I usually would wave or handshake to greet them or say good bye, but they would come and hug me. I don’t want to be rude and just take the hug. I don’t what to tell them or what to do next time they want to greet me with a hug??. I come from a hispanic culture that love to hug family and friends love ones. They love to show their affection as a way to make you feel comfortable, but I’m old fashion. What I find funny and it’s me just thinking is that I would love if America or Latin America can adapt the Asian culture in greeting people bowing at one another no touching what so ever, but at the same time showing respect.

    Your Highness Lisa,
    Or perhaps the Baptist hug. Side by side rather than face to face. It sends several loud messages about her standards and expectations. The same for grabbing his hand before he can hug her. It puts her in charge automatically, which men have little option but to respect her for it.
    Guy

  8. Shanna

    Mr Guy,

    You wrote: Why don’t women like to be approached or hit on by strange men? They don’t know how to react successfully because they lack self-confidence that arises out of self-respect that arises out of self-gratitude.

    Recently a facebook friend commented on not liking to be called “Honey” by strange men. Much to my surprise, several other women chimed in on how they also hate being called names such as “Sweetie”, “Sugar”, Sweetheart”, etc. I live in the South, so some other comments just shrugged it of as a Southern thing. Many found the terms to be demeaning or disrespectful. I found it odd that women would object to being referred to by names that remind one of pleasant, and comforting things but your explanation clears it up. I learn so much from you.

    Your Highness Shanna,

    Thank you. The articles 2089 and 2090 address that subject in case you’ve not seen them.

    Among those ladies that dislike affectionate terms, you will also find other feminist teachings shaping their lives by distracting them from relying on their God-given (rather than politically given) nature.

    Guy

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