2104. Will You Respect Me in the Morning?


Sir Eric at 2101 pondered life this way. “This is something I’ve never quite understood: I can’t imagine having sex with any woman I didn’t at least value in some way. It would seem actually to work the opposite way: a woman giving sex to a given man should, in theory, increase his respect for her.

What you say makes you a better man. It has significant appeal to women, and they seem to even shape their lives around that idea. Doing so, however, is flawed.

You probably learned such respectful values growing up; mother or other women taught you. You benefited from old school teachings. It used to be that way and girls knew to capitalize and complete the process to the advantage of females and children. Mothers tamed boys, girls guided teens toward marriage, and wives domesticated husbands for harmony in the home. It aimed at teaching males to respect females by females earning it.

Men don’t need to respect a woman to bed her. How often are you aware of men jumping into bed after taking only a short time to determine how respectable much less respected the women are?

Unless a man is taught in his youth to unconditionally respect women as unique and very different and very respectable creatures, it takes time for him to learn to respect each one. It’s the main disqualifier of masculine-style sexual freedom for women; they don’t earn the respect of men or each man they bed. Yielding sex does not earn masculine respect; in fact, cheap and easy conquest awards her disrespect. Moreover, if she’s easy for him, then she’s not respectable enough to be faithful to him. If the man has not paid his supreme sacrifice, namely yielding his independence on her behalf, she’s shortchanged of his respect.

The nature of man works like this. Men have two very differently motivated sex drives. The first is to conquer attractive women, That primal urge quits for each conquered woman but remains active for others. The second is the normal physiological and psychological urge that women know so well.

To conquerors, the vanquished earn as much respect as they are difficult to conquer; the higher her price, the more respect she earns. It’s not sex that earns respect, it’s her character that controls access to her sexual assets.

Having given up her most prized possession to him in their first sex together, he views her very differently and she’s easily disposable, candidate for booty, or a keeper for another reason. The other reason is respect based on her qualities other than sex. Qualities he can admire as virtues.

As to their subsequent sex, it’s routine because he as conqueror ‘owns’ the ‘right’. He may learn to like and enjoy it and it may entitle her to a great position in his life, but any additional respect that she accumulates comes from other than their sex together.

Female genitalia does not earn loyalty. However, it’s potential for loyalty can be realized, and she is born with the ability and talent. She lures without conquest in ways that produce devotion to her based on virtues that idealize her promise as his ‘support system’ to fulfill his life’s ambitions. IOW, a long chaste courtship which she arranges and manages in order to brighten her future by showing the promise to strengthen his life. As her virtues accumulate in his mind, his respect grows.

Eric’s standard is admirable. While it may not be rare, women are making it more so with masculine-style sexual freedom. Maximum respect of females is mutually exclusive with unmarried sex.

 

10 Comments

Filed under courtship

10 responses to “2104. Will You Respect Me in the Morning?

  1. Eric

    Sir Eric:

    I RESPOND IN BRACKETS AND CAPS TO your questions in lower case.

    Sir Guy:

    Thank you for the long response and positive feedback! I have some questions on some points you raised.

    [YOU MAY WANT TO PRAISE THE WOMAN/WOMEN THAT RAISED YOU AND CONTRIBUTED TO YOUR EDUCATION. IN GENTLEMANLY FASHION YOU DEFEND WOMEN’S EXPECTATIONS VERY WELL. UNFORTUNATELY, MUCH OF WHAT WOMEN KNOW IS WRONG WHEN THE NATURE OF MEN IS CONSIDERED.]

    “To conquerors, the vanquished earn as much respect as they are difficult to conquer; the higher her price the more respect she earns.”

    [THAT’S A QUOTE FROM ME, SO LET ME ADD TO IT. THE CONQUERING URGE IN MEN IS DEEPLY INSTINCTIVE AND VOLATILE AND LASTS IN LIFE EVEN BEYOND THEIR PHYSICAL CAPABILITY. A MAN’S MOST DIFFICULT INSTINCT TO CONTROL, IT IS THE MOST UNIQUE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN AND THE MOST PROBABLE CAUSE OF UNFAITHFUL EVENTS. ONLY THE WELL-DEVELOPED HABIT OF DEVOTION TO ONE WOMAN, DEEPLY HELD PROMISE TO SOMEONE HIGHER THAN HIMSELF, OR FEAR OF CONSEQUENCES ARE STRONG ENOUGH AND GIVE ENOUGH REASON TO SUPPRESS THE URGE INTO SEXUAL FIDELITY.]

    But it would be presumed that the conqueror already had established some value in his object of conquest or he wouldn’t set out to conquer it in the first place. I do agree that the difficulty of conquest does make the prize more valuable. Which leads to this:

    “Having given up her most prized possession in their first sex together, he views her very differently and she’s easily disposable.”

    [THE VALUE IN HIS OBJECT OF CONQUEST IS POSSESSION. ALTHOUGH UNNECESSARY, HE EXPECTS THAT SHE WILL BELONG TO HIM FOR SEX OR NO SEX AT HIS DISCRETION, FIGURATIVE ‘OWNERSHIP’. BUT THE REVERSE ISN’T TRUE. CONQUEST DOES NOT ALLOW HER TO POSSESS HIM.

    BEFORE OR AFTER CONQUEST HE DETERMINES HER WORTH IN HIS LIFE. HE DECIDES IF SHE’S BOOTY, DISPOSABLE, OR KEEPER. CONSEQUENTLY, ONLY ATTRACTIVENESS IS REQUIRED. THEN IT’S SPREAD THE SEED THAT WOMEN CONDEMN BUT ACCEPT AS EXPECTED OF MEN.]

    What I’m not clear on here is why, after a woman gives up her most prized possession, why a man would view HIS most prized possession as easily disposable in consequence. To me, I see very fine line: the woman committing herself to sex would seem to imply there’s a reciprocal commitment required from the man involved.

    [IT’S NOT HIS MOST PRIZED POSSESSION; THE USE OF IT IS. A RECIPROCAL COMMITMENT? THAT’S A MAJOR THEME OF THIS BLOG. IF WOMEN ARE SHREWD ENOUGH, PATIENT ENOUGH, STRONG-WILLED ENOUGH, SMART ENOUGH, AND LIKE THEMSELVES ENOUGH TO DEMAND COMMITMENT AND EXPECT OBLIGATION BEFORE AND AFTER CONQUEST, THEN THEY MAKE THEMSELVES LESS DISPOSABLE AND DUMPABLE. SEX DOESN’T BOND MEN AS IT DOES WOMEN, AND ESPECIALLY NOT HIS CONQUEST.]

    “How often are you aware men jumping into bed after only a short time, &c.”

    Oh, I know LOTS of men who do. All of the women they do it with are ‘booty call’ as you described. But I don’t follow the logic behind it because it seems to be a self-sabotaging action for men to follow. To go back to the conquest analogy, no one would respect even a great prizefighter if he picked fights with old men and little boys. Why would men think it elevated their self-esteem to go for easy sex with women they don’t respect?

    [FIRST, IT’S NOT SELF-SABOTAGING BUT SELF-PROMOTING. MEN DON’T THINK OF THEIR SELF-ESTEEM, NOT OF HOW WELL THEY LIKE THEMSELVES. THEY THINK OF EARNING SELF-ADMIRATION, ELEVATING THEIR SELF-IMAGE, IMPROVING THEIR SELF-WORTH, AND EXERCISING THEIR DOMINANCE OVER ANOTHER WOMAN BY PUTTING PENIS WHERE INTENDED. THAT’S THE ESSENCE OF A MAN’S LIFE AS EMBEDDED IN HIS CONQUERING NATURE. SECOND, WOMEN THINK THAT YIELDING SEX IS A CAPTURING MOMENT. NOT SO AND THEY’RE SELDOM MORE WRONG. THIRD, MEN DO NOT HAVE TO RESPECT A WOMAN TO HAVE SEX WITH HER; SHE NEED ONLY BE ATTRACTIVE AND THAT OFTEN IS DETERMINED BY THE ABSENCE OF SEX IN HIS LIFE. (THINK OF SOLDIERS OVERSEAS AND WHAT THEY DO AND DON’T DO.)]

    ERIC, YOU MAKE GOOD CONTRIBUTIONS ON THIS BLOG. I WAS THANKFUL YESTERDAY, TODAY I’M GRATEFUL.

    GUY

    • Eric

      Sir Eric:

      I RESPOND IN BRACKETS AND CAPS TO your questions in lower case WITH PARAGRAPHS BROKEN DIFFERENTLY FOR EASE OF READING.
      Sir Guy:

      Thanks again for the positive feedback!

      What I still have problems with is (I couldn’t think of the proper term) ‘emotional bonding’ that’s involved. To try and illustrate: when I’ve been involved in relationships in the past, opportunities for easy sex with other women have come up, but the first thought that would come into my mind was something like “What would happen if Mary found out? She’d be crushed by my infidelity. No, my affections are reserved for her.”

      [FORTUNATELY FOR WOMEN WITH WHOM YOU ASSOCIATE, YOU HAVE BEEN TAUGHT WELL ABOUT BEING CONSIDERATE OF OTHERS. HOWEVER, THE MALE NATURE DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY. THE MOTIVATIONAL FORCE BENEATH THE CONQUERING URGE IS TOTALLY SELF-CENTERED AND TURNS SELFISH UNDER PASSION OR WHEN ACCOMPLISHMENT IS CLOSE.

      AS TO EMOTIONAL BONDING, IT ARISES OUT OF THIS. MAN SEES WOMAN AS ATTRACTIVE TWO WAYS: SEXUALLY AND EMOTIONALLY. HIS EMOTIONAL CONNECTION STARTS WITH HIS FEELING GOOD IN HER PRESENCE AND I SHALL CALL IT HER LIKEABILITY. SEEKING HER PRESENCE FOR MORE OF THAT, HE LOOKS FOR WEAKNESSES TO EXPEDITE CONQUERING HER. THE PROCESS OF ASSOCIATING WITH HER, HOWEVER, UNCOVERS CHARACTER STRENGTHS AND OTHER QUALITIES THAT HE ADMIRES, AKA VIRTUES. HIS EMOTIONAL BONDING ARISES OUT OF THE FASCINATION HE FINDS IN HER VIRTUES AND IN HER PRESENCE.

      THIS IS THE CRITICAL PART. HIS EMOTIONAL BONDING MAY NOT BE STRONG ENOUGH TO SURVIVE CONQUEST THAT INTERNALLY RELEASES HIM TO FIND ANOTHER TARGET. DON’T BLAME ME. IT’S PART OF THE NATURAL SCREENING PROCESS OF FINDING A COMPATIBLE MATE FOR LIFE.]

      I’m having trouble separating in my mind the concepts of women as people and women as objects. For example when you wrote that “It’s not his most prized possession”— it involves the sacrifice of the woman’s most prized possession. [IT’S THE ERECTED USE OF IT THAT’S HIS MOST PRIZED POSSESSION.] The point here is that maybe (many) men don’t understand exactly WHAT she is giving up; [OF COURSE THEY DO. THAT’S THEIR OBJECTIVE. GET HER TO RECOGNIZE THEIR DOMINANCE BY YIELDING HER GREATEST ASSET. OBVIOUSLY HYPERBOLE BUT THINK OF CONQUEST AS AN ENSLAVING MOMENT IN THE MIND OF MEN.] but if a man does understand that, he has to consider the feelings of the woman involved. [IT’S NOT IN HIS NATURE TO DO SO. ONLY IF HE HAS BEEN TAUGHT BEFORE PUBERTY AND SUCH VALUES ARE EMBEDDED IN HIS HEART.] And he has to value her in the first place if he wants that kind of sacrifice. [NOT TRUE. ONLY IF HE’S BEEN TAUGHT TO BE CONSIDERATE OF OTHERS, WHICH MANY BOYS ARE NOT AND ESPECIALLY TODAY.]

      “This primal urge quits for each conquered woman but remains active for others.”

      I agree with the first part of this, but I’m not sure about the second. It seems that a wise conqueror, [WISDOM IS NOT PROVIDED AT BIRTH AS PART OF THE MALE NATURE. IT COMES FROM LESSONS LEARNED IN LIFE.] at least, would take the necessary steps to assimilate his newly-conquered territory and not look for other conquests. Especially not if he really values what he’s just obtained. [WHAT ARE HAREMS ALL ABOUT BUT THE MALE NATURE IN POSSESSION OF SUFFICIENT POLITICAL POWER TO BUILD AND SUPPORT ONE?]

      GUY

      • Eric

        Sir Guy:
        “This is the critical part. His emotional bonding may not be strong enough to survive conquest.”

        Thank you—now it’s clear to me.

        I suspect the dynamic here is that I might have stronger need for emotional bonding than most men, and possibly that is the reason why random or casual sex doesn’t appeal to me as much.

        “It’s not in his nature to do so. Only if he’s been taught before puberty and such values are embedded in his heart…only if he’s been taught to be considerate of others, which many boys are not and especially today.”

        I see why you keep referring to my earlier education: my assumption was that men who use women sexually are going against both their natures and education.

        “Man sees woman as attractive in two ways: sexually and emotionally.”

        This is why I like this blog. Male Feminists deny the first and most of Manosphere denies the second. I’m surmising from what you’ve said here that attractiveness is combination of the two, though the two points can vary in strength in some men.

        Sir Eric,
        Re last paragraph: Manosphere denies the second because it’s learned behavior to emotionally connect. The natural part is that each man’s particular taste for female qualities takes time to become apparent or exposed to him.
        Guy

  2. DJ

    If I understand correctly the most valuable possesion of women is there reproductive organs , the most valuable possesion of men is themselves?

    Your Highness DJ,
    Are you asking about how they are created or how they behave in life?
    Guy

  3. Krysie869

    YOUR HIGHNESS KRYSIE869,

    I BROKE AND NUMBERED your comment into lower case paragraphs and responded in CAPS.

    1. I have a quick question. I notice that when a guy seems interested in me to some degree and I find out directly or indirectly that he is committed to another, has “shady” character, or treats me disrespectfully, I tend to act a little more standoffish around him. AS YOU SHOULD AND MORE SO WITH THIS GUY.

    2. You mentioned that if a man can’t figure out a woman she becomes unlikeable. DON’T BELIEVE I EVER SAID THAT. IN FACT, IF A MAN CAN’T FIGURE OUT AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN OF INTEREST TO HIM, SHE BECOMES FASCINATING.

    3. Should I tell that man indirectly or directly what offends me so that he can figure it out so that I can become more likeable? I find this particularly difficult to do especially if he is supposedly married or devoted to another woman. YOU SHOULD FIND IT DIFFICULT SO LET YOUR HEART GUIDE YOU. ANYWAY, WHY WANT TO BE MORE LIKEABLE TO SUCH A MAN? IT WOULD JUST ENCOURAGE HIM FURTHER.

    4. I have this sense of guilt since I feel like I am helping him to “chase” me more. I don’t know if that makes sense. WHY GUILTY? YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE REACTIONS OF OTHERS TO YOU AND YOUR BEHAVIOR. UNLESS, THAT IS, YOU SEEK TO CAPTURE A MAN OR KEEP ONE AS A MATE.

    • Eric

      Sir Guy,
      “If a man can’t figure out an attractive woman of interest to him, she becomes fascinating.”

      I’ve experienced this too.

      Question: is this concept related to male emotional bonding which we were discussing earlier? You said then that ‘the emotional bonding arises out of the fascination he finds in her virtues and in her presence.’ Is the sense of mystery women project related to that?

      Sir Eric,

      Yes, inability to figure out an attractive woman of interest is the source of male bonding.

      Men are figurer-outers. They bond with what continues to challenge them, just as with their line of work. A fascinating woman often or always leaves something not understandable seeming to dangle in her thoughts and behavior. She never pushes all in; she leaves something on the table.

      She doesn’t explain what appears to men to be inconsistencies, logical, or reasonable in following her heart. She doesn’t expose all the details that are in her heart. She’s made that way. Her mystery is best when it carries an aura of feminine mystique, which makes her even more uniquely different from men and other women.

      Complaining removes mystery because it opens her thoughts to judgment by others. Explaining herself does the same. Both cost her fascination points and make her appear less unique.

      Masculine self-respect arises out of the belief that a man doesn’t change. Consequently, men expect the same of women. When women change so that it’s noticeable, they lose uniqueness. We all know that women change, and both the differences and benefits for both sexes lie with this unique behavior: Women change so that it’s virtually unnoticeable to their man. Relating to him, they operate patiently and indirectly and change unnoticeably so as not to lose their fascination and uniqueness. It’s all part of the natural model that makes the sexes compatible for lifetime mating.

      Guy

      • That Horse Is Dead

        Sirs Guy or Eric,

        Can you give a practical example of the last time you found a woman fascinating? What did she do in that moment that you noticed? Since being herself comes naturally, a woman may not notice when something is perceived as fascinating by a man — especially if he keeps it to himself.

        Your Highness That Horse is Dead,
        She had kissable lips and not only listened but enjoyed what I said.
        Another had the flattest of stomachs and wore high heels. Another shaped her breasts and hair artistically. Another smiled pleasantly when social discomfort set in. Another wouldn’t be caught dead outside the home without looking well made up. Many strangers smile encouragingly when I tell them my favorite short story. Many like my blog.
        Guy

        • Eric

          That Horse is Dead;
          It’s hard to define what causes men to do this, though Sir Guy gave some good examples. The woman, though, will know what a given man perceives as fascinating, because he’ll let it be known eventually.

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