2108. Soft-headed Sally

Women aren’t born soft-headed. Modern females’ soft-headedness leads them away from their best interests, into easy manipulation by men, and into self-delusion about the man each woman hopes to capture.

Soft-headed Sally thinks wrongly that sex bonds a man. She accepts a man’s words instead of taking time to judge his actions. She fails to recognize that he fills a different role, once they have sex together the first time.

SHS makes herself worthy of him instead of the other way around. She fails to call his bluff, when he threatens to drop her for being “hung up” about yielding sexually. She cannot separate a good man for carrying responsibility for others from a good man for fun and games. She cannot turn away from the self-centered man full of himself and venomous words that reduce her self-esteem and self-image and mine her self-interest for ways to make his life better.

SHS may try but is unable to teach young daughters how erotic attire arouses men many years older and may attract and easily incline some to stalk or become less inhibited about kidnapping, rape, and murder.

She fails to recognize that respect for women generally and deeper respect for his woman are the foundation of a man’s love of her. She cheapens herself by offering sex without his firmly committed obligations.

SHS believes in little except what others tell her, and so she falls for anything a man offers. She shapes her moral well-being around temporary feelings and hopes. She abandons the character shaping and guidance provided by God, religious morality, and her heart and will power. She is short of affirming self-esteem, -image, and -respect, so she cannot identify the lack of those conscience-shaping factors in a man.

She wants her own man so badly that she teams up with any male offer. She partners with a bad man and when dumped picks up with another loser, and then another…. She shapes her feelings around and with whomever she associates. She believes men are who they say they are.

She believes she can change a man, once she captures him with sex. She lives with endless hope that sex bonds him to her. She thinks that men are like women in their thinking, habits, and urge to constantly be together. She flaunts her co-dependency and faults her man when he has more important things to do. She too easily becomes jealous of the hold that his job has on him. That co-dependency is the enemy of their togetherness.

SHS calls herself victimized by drudgery when hubby fails to participate in household work, child care, and other domestic responsibilities and begrudges his independence from those things. And equal sharing of ‘drudgery’ is not enough. He should always do more. It’s not the work that puts her down but jealousy of his family role as lazy lounger when his workday ends. She can’t live with their different natures. The male nature makes a man satisfied with himself. After a completed day’s work, he turns to relaxation, rest, and restoration of energy for the next day. That, versus her female nature that urges her to brighten her tomorrows in spite of the endless string of things to do. He figures he does all he can today and will handle tomorrow whatever comes. She figures she has to plan/prepare for every contingency ahead; better to over than under prepare. Thus, SHS begrudges the side of her nature that directly supports her self-interest.

She is so caught up in romantic love that she lacks both knowledge and skill to generate a man’s enduring love for when romantic love fades. She assumes it fair and bonding to tell each other about their sexual histories, when she can do few things worse. It shrinks her uniqueness and fascination.

SHS fails to recognize that men evaluate her character and non-sex assets before they first have sex. Afterwards he pays less attention to what else she has to offer. (Hollywood and TV work diligently to hide this part of the male nature; they prefer to show the wishful but fruitless thinking of females. As a result, male dominance expands in the social and domestic arenas.)

She fails to comprehend that men as hunter-conquerors appreciate greatly that which fights back, must be wrestled under control, and ultimately yields to his courage, intensity, persistence, and imaginative design of ways to conquer. Sexual targets that do otherwise earn little or no respect from him.

She doesn’t know the steep price she pays for easily yielding sex the first time with him. Without making him work to be worthy of her, without testing him with everyday commitments, without making him spend time and effort in her company sans sex, she makes herself easy and his ego is not stroked with the joy of an earned victory. Easy-to-get sex earns her very little respect and even less holding power. Sex only satisfies his raw appetite. When his ego is deeply massaged by hunting and overcoming of all obstacles to conquering her, his self-respect, respect for her, and her holding power over him skyrocket. This still does not mean that he will stay with her, but she has no better form of insurance.

SHS cheapens sex by using it to capture men. This cheapens her. Men will hang around her until another sex target comes in view, and some may even go through the process of linking up, shacking up, and maybe marrying up. But, split up is not far behind the fade of romantic love.

Both Hard-hearted Hannah and Soft-headed Sally figuratively spit in the eye of their man. They feel pumped up with feminist theory and new ‘rights’ they now have, such as sexual freedom. Men buy into greater sexual freedom but not much else. Compensated with frequent, convenient, and unobligated sex, men go along for the ride. But, the ride does not include the respect, honor, devotion, and dedication that females expect to see from their spouse.



Filed under sex differences

5 responses to “2108. Soft-headed Sally

  1. Cocoa

    What are signs and symptoms that she started to become hard hearted, given that she’s born with a soft one? What makes her heart turn hard other than early eengagements in bad relationships? The same with SHS?
    Would I be considered SHS if i am easy going generally in life? I have my sticked standards and my strong religious beliefs but I still feel that I’m an easy going person and i don’t like confrontation (unless i really have to defend myself right here right now).
    How could a woman, maybe younger ones, maintain and exhibit and nice soft heart and in the same time keep her head from becoming mushy?
    Is there a fine line somewhere. Or are you only describing sexual relationships and NOT day to day dealing with people?

    Your Highness Cocoa,

    Feminism and feminist-think are the greatest influences for both hardening the female heart and softening the female mind. Symptoms are described in posts 2106 and 2108.

    Nothing about female nature is mushy. That kind of thinking/acting is lesson learned in life. Melissa just below describes it well.


    • Melissa

      I think mushy has more to do with low standards, low self-respect, carelessness about appearance and behaviour and being ‘easy’ or easy to manipulate. Soft- hearted refers to qualities like gentleness, kindness and sensitivity.

      Your Highness Melissa,
      Nice response. Thanks.

  2. Magnolia


    Your Highness Magnolia,
    Thank you, darling. I love it when pretty women use the top Navy score.

  3. SouthernBelle

    Sir Guy
    I assume that a women’s hard headedness is more believably conveyed to men in actions rather than words? I have at times found myself biting my tongue, journaling, and relying on my actions to speak volumes. Are there other examples yet cited of being hard headed while remaining soft hearted?

    Your Highness SouthernBelle,

    Yes, how about these?

    • Tell a guy “No!” with a look rather than words.

    • Abruptly end closeness to pull away from petting that gets too hot.

    • Walk away from a guy who isn’t gentlemanly or acting up to your expectation.

    But you already know those things. It just requires self-dedication to shift gears from heart-felt ‘no’ to mind-felt ‘move’. It replaces your normal dependence on words to impress someone.

    Men are prepared and recover too easily from discouraging words. Disappointing feminine actions transplant them back to starting over as the seller rather than trying to recover. Enough disappointing actions and their seller role becomes a habit of evaluating you better as buyer before proceeding; it slows a man down and extends his courtship. Women benefit from lengthy courtships.


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