Here’s something I wrote more than a year before the blog.
Early in a marriage a man sees himself as indispensable and expects his wife’s behavior to reflect it. He doesn’t pay attention to whether she is essential or not, until their first baby awakens him to the subject. After that, she gains slowly. Not because she is not deserving, but because he is not thinking about it. He takes marital obligations as satisfied by him and maybe takes her for granted. But after a man spends many pleasant years with a woman, he fully recognizes her essentiality and that it existed all along.
Provided, that is, she plays her cards right. Marital success requires this tradeoff be honored by the relationship expert. She makes him appear as the essential one in the early years. Then, hope and certainty of her importance brighten her future until finally he becomes Mr. Right and she becomes his well-honored queen, mate, and dearest friend.
Instant gratification as the most important person in the relationship—as sought by modern women—defeats the marital process and wifely hopes and dreams. It’s just the way men and women are made.