2119. Her Hair: Crowning Glory or …???


It’s time. I’ve put this off for years for fear of losing readers. Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.

It’s recurrent. Women keep asking what men prefer for the female hairdo. Women concerned with that issue are out of step with Nature and flummox themselves dealing with men. I offer a contrarian view more in accord with both the male and female natures.

Hair is important to women, not men. Men are not that interested in one of a woman’s features. Oh, some men will claim they like to waller their face in a woman’s long hair. But that’s more adolescent than adult behavior. And some praise long stringy hair these days because it’s popular. It generates comfort for men that all women look alike. Popularity keeps single women bowing to masculine tastes.

It may change after a relationship is established and working smoothly. A husband should have some say, about which wife understands what is required to keep the marriage promoted in her favor. She can figure out what’s best for them.

We’ve heard all our lives that hair is a woman’s crowning glory. Glory for whom? Not men. They don’t see glory there. Glory flows from her heart at what she sees, cleans, likes, loves, strokes, pats, combs, dyes, tinges, cuts, and waves until it becomes a useable feature to make herself feel better about herself. Hair care compensates for guilt. It relieves depression when she modifies her vision of herself. It keeps her tied to her mirror, where her independent spirit emerges and she finds solace living with herself. A hundred strokes a night isn’t wasted time or energy; it inflates the female ego.

Her hair is her crowning glory for self-centered reasons: It enables her to glorify herself, promote the image of who she is, elevate her confidence, compensate for low self-esteem, make herself feel good caring for it, express her natural vanity to herself, match up better or differently with her other features, and otherwise reinforce her appearance and roles in life to suit her and no one else. Hair is just a part of her package of prettiness that she aspires to make prettier. Adjusting her hair care practices to please others defeats some objectives in life.

To wear her hair to please men—especially after about age 25 when getting a man becomes problematic—is to push her into other actions to please men, diminish her choices, retreat from single independence, reduce her ability to stand out from other women, and in general curtail her ability to appear unique. When women seek to follow what’s popular, they lose ability to be extraordinary. Which is, of course, what men seek to marry.

 

12 Comments

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12 responses to “2119. Her Hair: Crowning Glory or …???

  1. Clara

    “especially after about age 25 when getting a man becomes problematic”

    Sir Guy, what do you me by that? I’ve enter what people call mid-life crisis I turned 25 a few months ago. My family and myself imagine myself in serious committed relationship at this age. Especially now with the holiday and I see a lot of couples in the streets and I feel alone and wanting a longtime partner by my side. As for my hair goes Its long and straight I was thinking of cutting it below the shoulders something different. When I go to the hair salons for a trim the girls at the salon tell why are you cutting your hair leave it long. But in my head I don’t want to look like the rest of them, some of the girl had hair extensions added to their hair. They all wanted long and straight.

    Your Highness Clara,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    Clara, darling, the unwritten part of my article is this: To heck with everyone else. It’s your life, hair, appearance, desire, wants, need, fears, prettiness, and sense of who, what, and why you are who you are. NO ONE else knows all those things. It’s you and God against the world in order for you to live up to your importance in it. Make yourself feel better and more deserving in it and your life will turn around. No guarantees for immediate success, but that’s why patience is one of a female’s greatest. (Also, read That Horse is Dead’s comment just above. She made herself unique in church. Unless church isn’t for you, also read the source article, #42.)

    Go for what makes you feel good, more independent, competitive, and competent in the marketplace of finding, capturing, and especially holding a longtime partner. ONLY you know what you need to do and how to do it. Your uniqueness can be seen by at least one man as extraordinary. That’s the way we are made, so become unique. In today’s world, long stingy hair especially offers the most promising and noticeable feature with which to find uniqueness.

    Incidentally, you’re not in mid-life crisis. Too young. A crisis hits women about age 30. Similar to the man’s much older crisis. You have quite a few years yet to tame a good man before you start eating your heart out over disappointments.

    Guy

  2. surfercajun

    This is interesting… my hairdresser has been after me to perm my hair telling me it would look good. I don’t see the sense in it as I like it straight one day and curly the next. When I do it for me, I feel more feminine and not being told WHAT looks good on me.

    …guess I’m more of a rebel that way. 🙂

    Your Highness Surfercajun,
    Now you’re thinking, darling. Rebellion can also be unique if not overdone.
    Guy

    • As always, you’ve given us plenty of food for thought, Guy!

      After mulling it over, I agree with you. I think of certain very conservative religious groups who mandate long hair and long dresses for the women. The women I meet (and know) in those groups actually act less feminine, perhaps because they have no say in their appearance and, perhaps, because they believe that physical appearance is not a spiritual concern.

      OTOH, I know women who have chosen to grow their hair long and wear long dresses because it makes them feel very feminine…and they exude joy and femininity!

      Lots to mull over!

      Jill

  3. MeowMeow

    Woww thanks so much for this article Sir Guy! Due to malnutrition in my childhood most of my hair fell out and never regrew and what remained I had to cut short to make it look more “full.” I cried for years and years mourning my previously long, thick hair…..but now that i have accepted that I won’t be conventionally “Beautiful” and try to have a positive spirit, and be grateful for my other good attributes (even though I have short, thin/fine hair and am “older”) I have never received so many “hit ons” from men…(Just to be clear, i am married, so I don’t act on them other than to say “thank you’ and smile) and I think just relaxing into the good things that i do have to offer really made all the difference. Sometimes i still wonder about “dressing up” my head when I feel boring by using wigs/extensions/falls, scarves or hats though…do using those things come across as “Playful” or “turn off” to men? (Particularly when the man already likes/loves you as in case of my husband….) Are they appropriate when “going out” together and/or the bedroom, as long as the woman is honest that she’s just “dressing up” for fun? i haven’t really asked my husband about this yet, just looking for a more general perspective about this subject.

    Your Highness MeowMeow,

    Do exactly what makes you feel good, better, and best about your outer appearance and produces gratitude inside yourself. It’s no one else’s business what you do. If they call you phony, rephrase Forrest Gump and his mom, phony is as phony does. Then, don’t explain and don’t complain. You have more important things to worry about or do.

    Of course, if hubby takes exception, show interest, be ready to negotiate, and find solutions that please him within your own satisfaction.

    Guy

    • MeowMeow

      Thanks Sir Guy! I feel honored to receive a reply from you. I understand. Hope you have a very Happy Holiday! Smiles!

  4. Peach Blossoms

    Not many women look good with long hair. A style that flatters a woman’s face shape is most important.

  5. Cocoa

    Hello sir Guy, i have copied my query from the other post for ease and clarity….

    *Here is what i asked:
    “I always thought the way women (and men) wear and style their hair say something about them. But would you be able to share from a male’s point of view, and i know males are different, how do you see say, long hair , ponytail, coiffured, extremely short hair.. what does it tell you. Or does it?”
    **That’s your respose:
    “Your Highness Cocoa and Sir Eric,
    I’ve upstaged you with today’s post. No offense intended.”
    Guy

    Not sure sir Guy why you thought i would be offended or were you talking to Mr Eric? I am not offended at all and i agree with the post above. However, i believe i was misunderstood, so let me try again.

    What i meant is, that the way a women wears her hair tells a lot about her, the same as her grooming and her clothes. Modest, revealing, attractive, classy, sloppy. .. the same with ones hair. That’s all. I was not trying to see what you or Eric prefer in women’s hairstyle, not at all.

    For example you have a whole post about how women when they get older they should have their hair shorter, that was your opinion, right? It might suit some and might not suit others. We all have different face shapes, different hair thickness. Mine was always extra long now it’s a bit shorter (3/4 of my back) as i don’t have the energy and the time to care for it.

    so yeah, i wasn’t asking for advise on what men find attractive as i know that mine as it is , well , pretty attractive and that men are different. My husband likes me to color it lighter but i won’t as i don’t think it will suit me.

    I just wanted to see if the way a women styles her hair (or lack of styling ) can or may indicate what kind of woman she is.

    I tell my growing kids to look for modesty and character but for sure the way a girl takes care of her GLORY says a lot about her.

    That’s all.
    great post and no offense whatsoever 😊

    Your Highness Cocoa,
    I missed your point. In old school her hair style could have indicated what kind of woman she was. If I remember correctly, women at least thought and even argued that way. But in modern times, exotic and erotic posturing has a much greater and unconscionable effect on men by focusing them on sex vs. her.
    Guy

  6. I’m sorry, Sir Guy. I really am. I’m just not buying this. I do believe a woman’s hair is important to her man; women’s hair is important to men. I see, hear and know personally of too many examples to the contrary of what you say here. It is not an adolescent thing. I do however agree in this way, that hair is only the part of the whole. Beautiful hair does not make up for not taking care of hygiene, weight, face, speech, walk, dress.
    If you are right, then I am very sad about it because it’s hard to think you’ve been believing right all along and now have to change what you have always believed.

    Your Highness Sharonwithmaryandmartha,

    You’re battling the wind. I don’t disagree with you. I stress that hair is such a vital part of a woman’s self-image that her opinion, potential, and vision of hers should not be dumbed down to satisfy men and only so much for husband as she can negotiate to her own satisfaction. She is her hair and her hair is her. Keep men away from what she does except as she must to please her husband.

    That’s what’s important and what I believe, and I’m not changing (just to send you a spirited smile).

    Guy

    • Anne

      “Keep men away from what she does except as she must to please her husband.” If husband offers no opinion, should she ask for one? My husband is rather introverted. I feel he would never offer and opinion unless I asked, but I imagine he *has* an opinion (unspoken). He would never complain about any hairstyle I chose – he knows its my hair. He does not ask my opinion about whether he should have facial hair, either (nor do I express an opinion here) – its his hair.

      Your Highness Anne,

      If your marriage and hubby are pleasing you, why ask? However, you can but you may be surprised. So prepare yourself.

      To ask is to show respect for his opinions about your whole appearance. If he has opinions, be prepared to accept and more closely align your appearance with his preferences. If offended, hide it.

      You can open your interest off handedly someday in the car when quiet prevails. Preface your question with appreciation (neither give nor expect praise) for his good judgment in hair and beard styles. His initial response should tell you his interest in the subject and you’ll know how to proceed.

      Why all the caution? To unexpectedly blurt it out is to surprise, and men don’t like surprises. Also, if it has never been discussed, it could be a friction issue. Only you can figure that out and probably only after the fact.

      I purposely have described a tactic that applies to other new subjects too. Proceed with caution so you don’t get surprised, but then your heart already tells you that if you pay attention to it. Men don’t like surprises; women too easily over react to them.

      Guy

  7. deltahedge

    >When women seek to follow what’s popular, they lose ability to be extraordinary. Which is, of course, what men seek to marry.

    Now thats some serious female projection going on here.

    Women aim to marry the extraordinary man. Men want to marry the beautiful and feminine woman. Now what exactly does long hair signify?

    >Hair is important to women, not men.

    You couldn`t possibly be more wrong. Hair is important to men, not woman. This is why women cut their hair off once the man has been trapped (i.e. is married).

    Your Highness Deltahedge,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman or good man joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    You claim I’m wrong but offer no evidence. Be glad to debate with more detailed accusations.

    Guy

  8. Lin

    Well I am confused. Then why do many men say they prefer long hair? I have seen men go gaga over women with very long luxurious hair over and over again. I do agree that a woman’s hair is certainly not everything. True, but I wonder then why many men go gaga over long hair.

    Your Highness Lin,

    To impress women that have long hair. Do they say that to women with short hair? No! If you have long hair, you won’t have heard guys go gaga over short hair or some other feature that will impress other ladies. And anecdotes aren’t enough to change human nature.

    Also, you make mistakes to base your opinions or decisions on what people say motivates them. Not that they are lying, but you don’t have access to all the experience and reasons they use. You’re in the blind. So, when men or women claim anything to be specific like that, be suspicious. It’s either their preference or they want you to think it’s their preference. It’s foolish to base your decisions on it. Consequently, I stick by my guns as expressed in the article.

    Guy

    • Eric

      For what it’s worth here, I have a preference for long hair. However, I have heard other men say they don’t like it.

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