2140. Favored Quotes—Collection 42


“Men just cannot resist a woman who loves and respects men.” [Magnolia at 2131]

“Royalty is given, not taken. I don’t need him to understand me. Just respect me. If he respects me, he will listen to me; if he listens to me, he will heed me; if he heeds me, he will please me; if he pleases me, he will cherish me; if he cherishes me, he will adore me; if he adores me, he will keep me; if he keeps me, he will provide for me; if he provides for me, he will set me free.” [J’ahdor at 2074]

“The first time I tried being more “silent” on an offense from husband, it was really difficult, it was all I could do to not overreact. I’ve done it all my life. But then something amazing happened…my husband, on his own, brought himself inline…later that day. It’s like he has the ability to “self-correct” with me doing very little. And my respect for him went WAY up because his correcting himself came from him, not forced from me!” [My Husband’s Wife at 2022. Guy adds: Her silence still sent a loud message (although not all men will receive every message every time). It tickled his conscience, invited him to use his freedom of decision-making, enabled him to please her at his discretion, and thus admire himself for both discernment and achievement. She enabled him to win by pleasing himself. A woman’s natural patience and indirectness empowers her with strength to use silence, and it makes her far more effective than accusatory words.]

 

5 Comments

Filed under Dear daughter

5 responses to “2140. Favored Quotes—Collection 42

  1. My Husband's Wife

    Dear Sir Guy,

    WOW! I had forgotten I wrote this—and I continually need reminding of this one. I can’t express enough how much I appreciate the time you take to express your knowledge to us ladies (and the occasional gentleman). Applying the knowledge you write about and becoming more “feminine” has been marriage changing = life changing. It’s difficult for bloggers to measure the success of their work, but maybe this quote from my husband will demonstrate the impact you’ve made: He recently said to me with a smile, “After 18 years, I’m finally getting this marriage thing!” 😉

    • Cinnamon

      Yes, MHW – you have hit the nail on the head!

      If Sir Guy’s work could be summed up in only two words, those two words would be “life changing.”

  2. Krysie869

    Sir Guy,

    I have a random question. What do you think motivates people who want a person to change their behavior for them? For example, that person would say “Why are you so quiet?” Or “Why don’t you smile?” or ” Why are you here?” Or ” Why don’t you do this or do that?” You get the picture…

    I never understood those types because even if a person is different from me, it is natural for me to treat him/her as well as I would want them to treat me until I receive messages of disrespect. It is difficult to be around people who constantly question the character of others for no apparent reason. This now seems to be a cultural trend because I see this virtually every day. I have immediate family members like this who I live with and I come across peers, strangers, and co-workers who also behave like this as well. CONSTANTLY. And they don’t behave like this towards only me, but to many others! Honestly, this is a major deal breaker to me and I feel very uncomfortable around these types but I feel like they make up a majority of the population in my opinion.

    Your Highness Krysie869,
    They’re uncomfortable with themselves. To ease your discomfort, ask them, “Why do you ask?” and neither complain nor explain further. Then see what happens.
    Guy

  3. anonymous

    Sir Guy,

    One of my friends is in need of advice from a wise man. A guy pursued her but told her he didn’t want anything except friends with benefits. She said she was okay with that since he was treating her well despite no commitment. She ended up sleeping with him pretty quickly. Things were fine for a few weeks after, but then he stopped talking to her except when he wanted to hook up. This bothered her as she wanted to at least be treated like a friend. The last time they hung out she told him she did not want to be a booty call and if he couldn’t at least treat her like a friend in public then she did not want to continue their “relationship” of sorts. He said he understood and promised to be better. He spent the night at her house, they hooked up, and then he spent the whole day with her the next day. He was very affectionate the day after and seemed to be keeping his word…until he left that evening when he began ignoring her again and has been doing so ever since. This is particularly devastating to her because they work in the same company and so she sees him almost every day.

    It’s obvious that the issue is she slept with him way too soon and lost his respect. I think she understands that now too. I remember how upset I was when a guy I was dating broke up with me even when we never slept together and he respected me enough to break up with me nicely. That was bad enough to deal with, I can’t imagine how hurt she feels from sleeping with a guy and him not even bothering to tell her he doesn’t want to continue seeing her. Any ideas on how she can get over that feeling of being used and not-good-enough? How should she behave when she has no choice but to see him at work?

    Your Highness Anonymous,

    Chalk it up to experience. Start and continue reading the Virtual Virginity series. Write a journal entry about the fallacies of “friends with benefits.” That’s off the job.

    On the job, pay no attention to how she appears or impacts him. He’s not worth one iota of effort or care on her part. Without saying a word let others see that she disrespects him. If she’s ever accused of sleeping with him, only respond with, “Why do you ask?” and change the subject.

    Moreover, he’s worthless to her. Except as required by professional standards, have nothing to do with him. So, choose, refine, develop, and stick to a new personal plan that makes her comfortable when she encounters the guy. Stare him down or don’t look him in the eye. Shame him with glares or don’t. Dismiss him from all small talk and any interest he may show—even if he tries to recover—and move on. Don’t complain, don’t explain. Keep the idea resident in her mind until it reaches her heart that he’s worthless not only for her but anyone else. If she feels good about herself after each encounter, she’s doing it right. If not, try something else until she feels good at his expense.

    Guy

    • anonymous

      She says thank you and she isn’t sure if she has the guts to actually stare him down but she’s going to think about it and at the very least dismiss him even if he tries to recover. I told her about WWNH, hopefully she decides to have a look 🙂

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