Ladies, this is just a test drive of an idea. I need feedback. I have many reasons that I think will support using the suggested technique but it will take me days to write, proof, and publish them. However, before I do that, I want to hear your reactions to how easily the actions proposed could fit into your persona and relationship.
Immature women seek to have things go their way and are not too quiet about it. They find fault, seek redress, and care not a whit for the reaction of their man. They live by criticism and expectations for him but with little or no expectations that they themselves can or should change themselves.
OTOH, mature relationship experts know better. They master the art of indirectness, and I’ve just developed a new technique. For reasons I’ll explain later, I suggest women adopt this practice.
Gently, patiently, and as indirectly as possible teach your man that you will silently flash your pinkie finger at him whenever he displeases or disrespect you. No words, no complaining, no explaining, just a wave of the pinkie. He is free to do whatever he pleases about it.
Then, when appropriate, flash the pinkie as your way of saying that you have been made to feel bad. If he displeases you, look him in the eye and smile—just friendly as it can’t be very sincere—as you flash it. If he shows disrespect, look him in the eye but don’t smile. Flash your pinkie and always change the subject or go on about your business of the moment and let him do the same.
Develop the technique into a habit. Four cautions: 1) Use it ONLY when he displeases you or disrespects you as person, woman, wife, mother, or other legitimate role you live in your home. 2) If you start having success with him trying harder not to make you feel bad, then don’t get too ambitious and critical and flash it for other reasons. Stay on the targets of displease and disrespect. Keep your wits and good judgment about you. 3) Don’t flash it angrily as in flipping the bird. Just a friendly wave works best to stir his curiosity, which fires his memory to figure out what he did, and—hopefully—ignites his imagination to figure out how to compensate or do better the next time. 4) When he pumps you to find out what he did wrong, do your best to remain silent with a smile as if to say you’re confident that he can figure it out. (Note: If he can pull the reason out of you, he has an easier time of figuring it out. Men believe and act on what they figure out for themselves, and so your complaints and explanations weaken his reaction. It’s not really what you want.)
Consider it, think on it, or if you have the courage try it a few times. Then, critique it in your mind and send me your response. I have no problem if it’s a bad idea. I’ve had hundreds and perhaps thousands in my time. So please feel free to tell me what you think.
For mental exercise on your end, try to figure out why it should, does, won’t, or doesn’t work. What are the beneficial reasons and the objections? Such feedback will help my refinement of the reasons for a new technique that puts a woman more in charge of her life.