At 2159 Her Highness Emma wondered if “higher urges of sex drive or need for admiration” dismisses the urge for a long term union. I’m not sure alpha-ness, testosterone, or any other single feature is the ‘determinator’ of either a man’s drive to specialize at conquering women or his preference for a short or long term marriage.
A dating man can never completely know you. Conquest convinces that he knows you quite well enough to deal with you as he desires. On the other hand, the better you know men and learn to know one without having to yield, the greater your advantage. I know women are better readers of men than the other way around. While the table below may seem too abstract, it may well help you along.
The table presents the dating arena as three dimensional: conquest, marriage, and time, presuming that both sexes will appear slightly different at different times. It reflects the combination of mental ingredients and psychic determinations that I think contribute the most motivational force in each direction of the dating arena.
|HOW MEN PURSUE CONQUEST AND MARRIAGE||Self-esteem: How well he likes (high), regrettably dislikes (low), or even loathes himself (lowest) as a person.|| Self-image: Picture he has of himself as an effective and easily satisfied man or, perhaps, the opposite, or somewhere in between.
|Self-interest: His personal intentions and goals that urge him to action and inaction; the same way self- interest motivates everyone.|
|High interest in conquering many women.||Low or lowest self-esteem; he can’t highly esteem others until they prove themselves highly worthy of respect and maybe not even then.
|Dominant self-image; uses it to prove himself superior to women and men he can dominate or outcompete.||Uses sexual excitement and achievement to earn self-admiration, personal satisfaction, and significance.|
|Low interest in conquering many women.||High self-esteem; shares it by readily respecting others; has special esteem and even respect for the weaker sex.||Self-assured self-image; satisfied with who he is and what he does; needs little from women because he can be easily satisfied by one.
|Has other challenges than frequent conquests; other goals have better return on investment for his time and effort.|
|Not interested in long-term marriage; thinks more of not closing off options.||Low or lowest self-esteem; has very limited ability to like others for very long time; tires easily of familiar personalities; seeks excitement.
|Poorly defined self-image; easily frustrated and keeps options open to escape easily at his discretion.||Has broad rather than deep interest in marriage; keeps options open to easily shift from tiring to fresh challenges.|
|Interested in long-term marriage; willing to commit with expectations for life.||High self-esteem; likes himself so well he readily and enjoyably shares his likeability.||Self-energizing picture of himself; eager to step up to greater responsibility.||Envisions pleasurable life in companionship and challenge of greater responsibility especially for others.