2169. Chivalry — Recovery is Everything and Overdue


If you read the first post on this subject, #2168, why have we as a culture so readily accepted the intentional murder of chivalry at the hands of feminists? More importantly, how do we recover if the feminists were to let us? Or why should we even try?

I talk much about the character and custom-setting deeds of our forebears and how society’s female-friendly standards shrink. Perhaps chivalry could help right our sinking cultural ship, so I describe the road to recovery.

Chivalry indirectly leads to female happiness in one of life’s cause-and-effect natural phenomena. The process that follows is produced by both sexes following their hearts to live according to the natural condition they inherit at birth. It’s what instinct and intuition lead men and women to do naturally. It contributes greatly to general compatibility that leads respectably to enjoyable mating and indirectly to better fulfillment of girlhood hopes and dreams.

However, the practice has to be taught in childhood. That’s right. Both sexes need to have the benefits of following one’s instincts reinforced. God provides no owner’s manual until old enough to study the Bible. So, parents have to close the gap.

Male Nature:

  • Women are born to earn happiness over time. Men are born to earn satisfaction through daily achievements, and chivalry provides significant opportunity for both sexes.
  • His actions generate his feelings. A male who practices chivalry develops over time a deeply-rooted belief that he should unconditionally respect females, which includes the desire to give unconditionally, which enables him to eagerly find favor with a female, which energizes him to put his convenience momentarily at the disposal of a female, which makes him feel good about himself, which earns self-admiration, which provides satisfaction that he did the right thing. His chivalrous actions program his heart with those feelings (so long as the process isn’t interrupted by female signals that his effort isn’t welcome, in which case his will power and determination have to say ‘don’t quit’).
  • To boy or man brought up to be chivalrous, it becomes a duty. They are automatically responsible for distressed or otherwise discombobulated females. Fulfilling one’s duty is not an event that deserves reward, and men don’t appreciate unearned gifts. Consequently, women don’t know much about rewarding a chivalrous act, even though mere acknowledgement is sufficient when a guy does his duty.
  • It’s a hard and fast belief developed in childhood. Teaching boys that females are weaker and, therefore, to be protected makes males feel stronger, which opens the male heart to helping, which opens the door for chivalry, which defines a new duty, which energizes males to earn female favor, which produces a male at her disposal, which makes females feel superior, which puts her in the role of boss, which confirms she’s not the weaker sex, which guys can accept unless it’s verbalized.

Female Nature:

  • As you’ve read so often on this blog, women are born to be happy but they have to earn it. It comes from each woman’s gratitude for herself compounded by gratefulness for others in her life. Treated chivalrously, she becomes grateful for who she is and what she deserves, which adds to her sense of self-importance and ability to pass her gratitude on to others.
  • Chivalrous actions make a female feel superior. Her heart becomes programmed with respect and gratitude, which makes girls and women more grateful for themselves, which contributes to their happiness. Indirectly, chivalrous men help women find happiness. Also, his actions program her heart with respect and appreciation for males.

However, the foundation of chivalry is a delightful charade based on male eagerness to deceive themselves about females. Men are extremely unwilling to acknowledge any superiority to women; it’s inconsistent with their natural sense of dominance. By focusing solely on physical abilities and calling females the weaker sex, men can ‘prove’ to themselves that any superiority attached to the female gender is inconsequential. Chivalry confirms the weakness of one sex, which strokes the ego of men, and lifts any burden from men to admit otherwise. That’s the female-friendly charade that men develop to win female favor, but also to protect their own sense of significance.

Which begs the question, isn’t Feminism designed to highlight the superiority of women? Sure, but it doesn’t work except with the power of government imposed for legal, political, and economic advancements that become toxic when brought into both social and domestic relationships by well-meaning women with unrealistic expectations.

History proves the sexes can live compatibly. Men can’t and won’t do so when women impose their superiority to get their way. Either women keep their superior nature to themselves and avoid reminding men that it even exists, or men resent, resist, and often retaliate. To admit women are superior is to admit manly insignificance, which by nature is a man’s greatest fear that ranks with her fear of abandonment, which is what he does when she goes too far.

I submit that men or boys who are raised to be chivalrous, are not the same males who are abusing and disrespecting women and children on a regular basis. True chivalry, when ingrained in a boy, serves him throughout life. It provides a sense of satisfaction when he is able to help, please, win their favor, or delight women and children. It also serves as an internalized insurance policy against him becoming an abuser. Men can’t hit women, if taught to be chivalrous in boyhood.

Observe these Italian boys: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2OcKQ_mbiQ and watch to the end.

You saw with the Italian boys how easily a charade can be turned into more safety for females. One simple admission, females are weaker, which enables males to ignore female superiority as long as it remains inadmissible as evidence for females to get their way. It’s easily and best taught in childhood. That’s next as this series grows from two to three installments.

 

13 Comments

Filed under Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, Feminism: OOPS!

13 responses to “2169. Chivalry — Recovery is Everything and Overdue

  1. surfercajun

    Mary Alice,

    It’s hard to say that I’d rather stay
    Awake when I’m asleep,
    ‘Cause everything is never as it seems…

    • surfercajun

      Sounding like Yosemite Sam: %$^&##

      Owl City- Fireflies

      I did not MEAN for my whole playlist to post!!!! GRRRRRR

  2. Tooconfused

    @godsgrace

    I’m afraid you misunderstood the entire premise on this blog. None of us readers care about feminism. Most of us resent it.

    The pals at WWNH care mostly about courtships and prolonging them, unconsummated. We don’t consider feminist politics powerful, we consider women who are able to court men 1-2-3 years without sex the ones with real power. The true feminists lurking on this blog were virgins before they eventually got their man to propose. A real feminist? She has power. She gets the man down that aisle. That is one of my definitions of feminism. I don’t consider sex without marriage a powerful position for any woman to be in. In fact I consider this ability to date like a virgin, get married, and keep a man – truly superior, not the ability to give birth. Teens, adults, rich or poor, most women can get pregnant. Yet, single motherhood isn’t exactly empowering or a superior way to raise a kid. And yet, single motherhood is rampant.

    If you want to really help us gals out, instead of discussing the definition of feminism, please show every woman you know, this blog. Virtual virginity is hard to practice in a sea of duty sluts.

  3. That Horse Is Dead

    A perfect illustration of this — a group of Christian men were discussing how women don’t thank them when they hold the door open, so they just stop doing it altogether. It’s their position that men deserve acknowledgement for their chivalry. This was either not taught properly in childhood or brought about by women who have the “I can do it myself” attitude — and men are responding in kind.

    I heard once that a weak woman says, “I can’t do anything without a man.” A strong woman says, “I can do it myself.” But, a feminine woman says, “I can do it myself, but it’s more fun to have you do it for me.”

    Equality brings about a world that treats women as if they are men. I would much rather be treated with unconditional respect as the weaker sex, which lifts women above men in their eyes.

  4. thetruth01

    Hello Sir Guy,

    I’ve been seeing someone for awhile now and we’ve gotten serious, but my interest is waning. When we first met he was very dominant. He forced me to tell him I love him. He would make me talk to him on the phone for hours. When he would confront me it would make me put my head down; I don’t know if it was shame, fear or embarrassment. And I felt afraid of him, but like fear and excitement because it would make my stomach turn.

    Now I’m not getting those feelings anymore, maybe like every once in awhile. He’s changed a lot he’s much nicer to me now. He’s gone soft and even though I complained about how he would treat me i loved it. I’m trying to stick through the situation, but I miss the old him who was aggressive and mean. I’ve come so close to breaking up with him, but no ones ever made me feel that way before and he’s good at manipulating me so that I don’t leave completely.

    So I guess my question is how do I get his old self back? I know you said we have to make the men less dominant or dominating I can’t remember, but I want him to be more dominant.

    Your Highness Thetruth01,

    Perhaps too abrupt and maybe incorrect, but I read the follow IOW points into your comments. They should be sufficient to stimulate either new thinking for you or more dialogue for us. I also suggest a plan of action at the end.

    IOW, you liked him when he didn’t respect you all that much. Now that he’s turned around and seems to respect you much better, you’re turned off or at least not as turned on.

    IOW, without the excitement of his aggressiveness, confrontation, manipulation, and your being put in your place if not demeaned, you’re turned off or at least not turned on.

    IOW, you prefer to favor your feelings over your ability to think and reason. You can identify self-confusion but not the way out.

    IOW, you may not deserve soft and nice treatment or a good man. Are you sure? Have you weighed that in your heart? You were made worthy of a mate, but no promises of perfection in either you or mating prospects.

    I suggest this turnaround for you. As if you’re already married except for sex, become totally submissive to and dependent on him. Let your respect and gratefulness show for his presence in your life. See where his leadership without your interference takes the two of you. Look to see if and how his respect grows for you; after all, respect is essential for his loving you. Look at yourself to see if you know how to handle a loving relationship where you don’t determine what’s loving and what isn’t. Reevaluate your worthiness based on how he values you more highly, and your self-respect on how important you become to him.

    What’s the point? Why should you do it? You can best identify Mr GoodEnough by making sure that you’re Ms GoodEnough. You judge your present relationship based on your feelings, when relationship expertise recognizes the need for emotions being mutually compatible.

    Change yourself and you change your world.

    Guy

  5. Cinnamon

    Thetruth,

    I can’t speak for Sir Guy (who will be along shortly no doubt) but as a long-term student of WWNH, my advice to you for capturing the type of man you describe in your first paragraph would be to read everything in the CONTENT section of this blog and then do the exact opposite.

    Good luck!

  6. Dove

    Sir Guy,

    What is a good way to deal with a boyfriend who is late most of the time? I always end up waiting for 30min to 1hr. Honestly I don’t mind the waiting. I just feel like I could have used that time for something else. He’s sorry about it, but it frustrates me that he’s more late than punctual most of the time.

    I figured getting mad at him isn’t going to change his tardiness. But, I don’t want to enable him either and make him think I’m okay with it.

    Your Highness Dove,

    Immediately below Cocoa gives sound advice. She beat me to it, so I’ll add some reasons to change yourself.

    • Nothing will change until you change yourself; he treats you according to how he respects you. Maybe a time or two but then he’ll fall back into his present routine.

    • Change yourself to upgrade the respect in which others hold you. (Your nice can be too nice.) Make a rule and follow it relative to everybody. Example: You will not wait for anyone more than 10 minutes; after that you depart or whatever to end the waiting. Disregard their reaction. Don’t complain; don’t explain. It earns respect, the kind that makes others show up on time.

    • You can tell him what’s coming, but he will find ways to alibi and retain his freedom to be late. It will work best if you surprise him with it. Men don’t like surprises, and he’ll at first figure you’re not worth his doing differently. Then, he will figure either that you come first or his flexibility to be late comes first to him.

    • As you’re withdrawing, do not feel guilty. Turn inward and upgrade your self-respect. By that I mean, do what makes you feel more respectable within yourself. You don’t deserve to be so ignored by people who can’t get their lives in order enough to be punctual.

    • You’re probably thinking, Oh, I couldn’t do that to him (or mother, sister, friend, or whomever.) Do the best you can and do it at least to him and any other men that may follow, because he may not come back.

    • If he becomes punctual, you win. If he drops you, you win. His respect for you now is insufficient to support a high level of love for you.

    You’re able to take charge, so do so. On matters of punctuality, you either rule or he does. Who’s the best qualified?

    Guy

    • That Horse Is Dead

      Your Highness Dove,

      I just read about this exact scenario in a book called Boundaries in Dating. The book recommends that you share a consequence ahead of the repeating offense. For example, “The next time you are late without notifying me several hours in advance, we shall not see each other again for 2 weeks.” And then, you must follow through. Not seeing you should send a clear message.

      • Cocoa

        That’s not a bad idea. But it reminds me with the days when I used to punish my kids, not sure if it will work with grown up, hopefully, mature men. I was wondering, what if he said, “oh well, that’s ok, you’ve chosen that. See you in 2 weeks?! Some of them, especially the ones that do not like direct challenge, might say, how about we make it 2 months…😳

  7. Cocoa

    Dear Dove, I am interested to see sir Guy’s advice. But here is mine if I may.

    You say “Honestly I don’t mind the waiting” I think you should mind waiting.

    Ladies do not wait for gentlemen. However, true gentlemen don’t mind waiting. Of course you have much more better things to do.

    It seems that is it becoming a habit for him from what you are saying. He might be taking you lightly and not that serious. Regardless of the level or the stage in your relationship, you do not wait. Dove does not wait, all men wait for her, she does not wait. NO.

    Now, do you know much about his punctuality at work? His meetings? Doctor appointments? Meeting with his mates? If his like this generally in his life, not a good sign for reliability. If it’s only you, then some actions need to be taken.

    Can’t think of something now, but will let you know when I do.

    Uh, how about you wait (I still don’t like waiting at all) but wait for 5-10 minutes max, and off you go! Disappear. Even if you see him coming, continue walking, if he runs or try to catch you you may slow down a bit. Golden rule applies “Do… Not…Complain. Do…not…Explain” he, hey where’re you going. Dove, I have something else to do. Sorry have to go now, will talk later. Never angry, never furious. Always with a smile. Hard, yes. Can you do it, I believe so. Does it matter about him, no.

    How could he leave you waiting 30 to 60 minutes?!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s