You’ve read it before, but admittedly what follows is more ideally described than what realistically happens in the real world. By focusing on what people inherit at birth, however, you can produce better results than in the past.
All interactions with men should start with this picture firmly fixed in your mind as to his motivational nature. He sees all your features in perfect, near-perfect, or at least favorable light. Beyond what he can see, however, lurks a mystery that invites slow inquiry if not deep investigation.
- In your presence and in his imagination when not around you, your sexual attractiveness motivates him to look further. As explained earlier, however, it operates in background as he searches for weakness that will help turn down the bed covers—or not take time. No blame should be attached; it’s the way God designed him and hormones urge him onward and upward.
- You emotionally appeal to his senses. Your likeability grows on him. As you spend time together, your uniquely feminine qualities appear before his eyes accidentally or displayed purposely by you. Those he admires become virtues in his heart. The more virtues that accumulate, the easier his commitment to make, and more likely devotion will arise; which morphs into fascination, which he converts into promise of you as a potential mate—always, however, without guarantees.
- Your virtues become the hooks. Your other qualities that he may not appreciate, but can accept and live with, become the loops in the Velcro of your relationship. As that ‘patch’ of Velcro grows, it triggers his commitment which morphs into devotion as his actions expand to please him for pleasing you.
- You can do little or nothing about 1 through 3. It all happens unconnected of you. It’s the way the male mind works, when a man’s senses are highly pleased or challenged. He makes judgments, and they are independent of your trying to tell him what to think or to be impressed by what you think he appreciates. Unlike women, he doesn’t let the talk of others shape his thinking. He makes his own decisions. Listening to a woman sell herself does not impress him; too much and she appears desperate, which makes her easier to topple into bed against her best interest. If he truly wants you, he sells himself. It creates the proper perspective: a) He’s the seller and you’re the buyer. b) He’s making himself worthy of you, which keeps you from making the mistake of assuming responsibility for winning him as your mate.
- Your role is just to be yourself. Be true, sincere, heart-warming, pleasant, comfortable, patient, and good listener in his presence. Be non-controversial and neither radical, desperate, nor craving his attention/affection. Be non-challenging to him or his role with you. Be good at indirectly exposing the qualities that you have for living with and caring for somebody. (But not him, it’s too direct). IOW, exploit your charm, fun-loving nature, and self-confidence in your worth as person, woman, date, and potential mate.
Were all the above to work out as described, the door opens for a dating man to become boyfriend, fiancé, and mate by walking himself through six processes: attraction, dating, commitment, devotion, fascination, and promise as mate. Note that all transpires out of his curiosity and through his imagination to program his heart.
I describe it more fully tomorrow in post 2180, as He Walks Himself to the Altar.