2194. CAUSES and EFFECTS — Group 01

EDITOR’S NOTE: I rushed this morning and forgot this advisory.The following is based on the male and female natures and not exactly what you see happening in society. It’s the way people tend to react unless they have learned lessons that motivate them to ignore their nature in favor of something apparently more rewarding, But does it work better for you? That’s what counts. Guy


Men focus on the physical and sexual attractiveness of a woman. It’s the attention getter and a major place holder after he commits to her. A major aspect of his satisfaction and significant manliness is reflected by the attractiveness of his woman. Less significance in his eyes, less satisfaction with himself. Less satisfaction, less respect for her. Less respect, less love of her. Less love, less interest in dedication to faithfulness. Less dedication, less interest in their marital arrangement.

When he marries an attractive woman and feels that he’s married over his head, she has the best of relationships. Too many wives subsequently lose their attractiveness through intent, selfishness, carelessness, disrespect of him (or men generally), comfort seeking, peer copying, or disregard for what others think of their appearance. It sends the message to his male competitors that “Ole’ Pete didn’t do a well as he thought, did he?”

They don’t say anything to Pete, but he knows what they think. He thinks the same about old John who’s in the same demoralizing and de-motivating boat. How long should he continue…?

When single and married women beautify both home and the public arena, either individually or together, they make it a better place for men. It signifies that men are respected enough that women care enough to make themselves maximally attractive, which makes men respect the gender, which provides women more sincere manly attention, which leads to more dedication and devotion, which gives women more options and screening opportunities for Mr. Good Enough.

The secret both for individuals and all women is how they take advantage of the truth that as women go, so goes society, which means that men follow where attractive women go. No women are unattractive to some man, except as they fail to make themselves attractive to themselves first and foremost. (That’s what mirror time is about starting at post 2123 and following.)

If a woman habitually makes herself attractive to her own satisfaction, she finds that men tend to agree to the same extent. Women know that instinctively but feminists have taught them otherwise. Taught that men have no right to expect women to be attractive to please men.

Ah, but feminists ignore this instinctive advantage. Women don’t make themselves attractive for men, they do it for themselves. That’s the only thing that lifts their spirits sufficiently to capture manly attention to each woman’s emotional attractiveness. Marriage ain’t all about sex. It’s about mating up with her love of him and his respect for her character and likeability, and the latter arises out of her appreciation of herself and maintenance of her attractiveness.


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, sex difference

11 responses to “2194. CAUSES and EFFECTS — Group 01

  1. Sara

    Sir Guy,
    My broke up with my ex bf a few months ago. I gave a second chance and reconcile, but his behavior was still the same indecisive, made promises but never kept them, hardly ever called, selfish, untrustworthy and etc. I left like I was single most of the time and I felt so insecure about myself, because he would say over the phone or in person that I wasn’t pretty or you’re not that pretty. I always try to look and dress feminine. But why reconcile try to work things out If he thought “I wasn’t pretty”??. So I decided to leave and end this relationship without complaining and explaining just disappear because he deserves no explanation. It was hard for me to do this, but I had to even though I really did had strong feelings for him. I just couldn’t do it anymore he caused me so much heartache. What are your thoughts Sir Guy??

    Your Highness Sara,

    My thoughts? You’re doubly brave, doubly smart, and doubly better off—and for all the doubly connected reasons. He was just trying to guilt you into sex. Immediate disqualification for Mr. GoodEnough.

    Incidentally, welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.


    • A.GuyMaligned

      Your Highness Sara,
      I’ve not functioned well mentally today. I forgot to suggest that you consider doing what I describe as pretty time, aka mirror time. It begins at post 2123 and continues through 2127. You’ll be able to prove your ex bf totally unworthy of you.

      • Sara

        It’s ok Sir Guy ever since I left my ex bf I started to read mirror time and it had helped me. Thank you. Its nice being complement by people I know and strangers, but its hurtful hearing “you’re not pretty enough” coming from someone you’re in a relationship. All those nice things other people say didn’t matter and he was the rain to my sun. I just had to leave it was tough, it hurt, I cried it out alone I felt better afterwards. But I had to do what was best for me and I knew I don’t deserve to be treated this way. I just breath in and out thinking and remaining calm. Thanks to your blog I’ve learn so much and I’m improving myself day by day, my sun is much more brighter now. Thank you Guy 😊☀️

        Your Highness Sara,

        May I suggest a new strategy for you? With determined action, walk away the first time.

        Pray, plan, and produce the following effect every time someone says such a thing or anything else that you abhor. Make yourself a new woman, one in charge of her life.

        If you’re in your home, dismiss him without complaining and without explaining. If you’re in his car, when it stops get out and stay out. If you’re eating out. Say nothing. Get up, call a taxi or turn to someone else and ask for help to get you home. Then never let him get you alone ever again.

        I don’t care how much you love him, you’re prettiness (which you have plenty of) has nothing to do with his behavior. Such men manipulate and eviscerate the heart and soul of a woman in order to control her at their wont. You’re the present victim. They lack self-respect and so they can’t respect you or anyone else.

        Your actions will take control of the scene. He will be uncomfortable or embarrassed. Men change their behavior under that condition. You just have to be sure he can’t be violent with you then or later.


        • Sara

          “May I suggest a new strategy for you? With determined action, walk away the first time.”
          I absolutely agree with you. It’s a mistake that I learned won’t be repeating again. I followed my heart or soft hearted more than my head. I felt that maybe he is sincere this time, he’ll do what he promised me, I thought maybe during that time apart he made up his mind. I was wrong. Also Sir Guy, what are your thoughts about guys who want a break during a courtship/relationship? I hear people talk about their relationship and reveal they are on “a break” or “taking a break”? What does that even mean? And how should a women respond to a guy who wants or would ask for “a break” from the relationship? Thanks guy

          Your Highness Sara,

          As soon as he asks or suggests, walk away and terminate permanently. If he wants you he will come back and you’re the smart one if you make him start over winning your favor.

          It’s likely that he doesn’t know if he wants you permanently and is trying to test the waters of a brief separation. Well…give it to him but in a way that he takes YOU seriously instead of trying to feel around for new comparisons with bimbos.

          MEN RESPECT WOMEN WHO USE THEIR HARD-HEADEDNESS RATHER THAN EMOTIONAL REACTION TO TAKE AWAY THAT WHICH A MAN WANTS. Soft-headed women are everywhere and they are lacking in a permanent mate.


  2. Tooconfused

    To the commenter above,

    He said you weren’t pretty??? It’s one thing for a man to play hard to get but I have no idea why they would straight up say abusive things. Imagine if you were married to this loser.

    Just reading about other young women who are brave enough to apply the principles on this blog in their dating lives always makes me so happy. It’s so hard to stand up and walk away. And your writing here gives us the power to do so.

    Also imagine how your girlfriends will look up to you and admire your tenacity! I’m telling you women are always impressed with other women who act like this, because it is just so rare. The respect you’ll likely get from your girlfriends will make you feel better and prettier, and you’ll attract better men hopefully.

    At least you’re not that chick who leans on her girlfriends when things are tough and then the minute the guy calls again you go running back. And you don’t want to be that girl that has to cry to their girlfriends when they get dumped. Yes they’ll be there for you because everyone loves to watch a meltdown but they won’t respect you. Deep down they all think “the warning signs were there and she chose the wrong route” and while we feel badly for the just-dumped it doesn’t gain respect the same way the girl that *dumps the guy first* does.

    In any case more power to you for being strong. You gave him 1 more chance (because everyone can make mistakes) to show you he cared but a mistake made repeatedly is a choice and no longer a mistake. And it is clearly his loss!

    • Sara

      Aww thank u. Yes marriage has always been on my mind, but it has to be a Mr good enough. Yes he would say I was not pretty out of nowhere during our conversation. I knew he wasn’t a Mr good enough, but my heart wanted give him a second chance maybe he’ll do as he says this time. But he did the same thing, he was taking me for granted that’s when I had to walk away and leave no trace behind. No third chances here. I’ve changed my # made sure I don’t see nor hear from him again because he has no shame and he definitely would’ve of try to contact me again and act like nothing is wrong. I love this blog I learn so much from it and improving myself each day :).

      Your Highness Sara,
      Bravo! Keep your determination alive and you’ll win.

    • Eric

      Miss Tooconfused:
      Telling women they aren’t pretty is tactic low-value men and Gamers use. What they’re doing is trying to undercut a woman’s self-esteem so that she thinks no man would have her if she left.

      In reality, men’s taste in female beauty is so varied that practically any female will be beautiful to someone.

  3. Dove

    Do men think that their wives are ugly when pregnant? Weight gain is also an issue after giving birth for a lot of women – and this impacts attractiveness. Do men expect their wives to go back to their original figure after pregnancy?

    I’ve read the exact same idea in another book – about how other men don’t think that a man didn’t do as well when they see that his wife looks sloppy in appearance. It never really occurred to me how important a wife’s attractiveness is to a man’s significance. Still trying to get my head around this idea.

    Your Highness Dove,

    If husband is devoted to wife and in love with prospects of having a kid, wife continues to appear attractive. He focuses primarily on her face, which has a natural and God-designed special glow that makes her prettier than ever and holds his interest. Swelling is easily overlooked; he’s in a different mode of life. He’s living more in the future, prospects of fathering, and for a few months his expectations keep him in a forgiving or forgetful mode about her body shape.

    “Do men expect their wives to go back to their original figure after pregnancy?” They wish she would. They’re more significant when their wife appears as when he married her.

    It reminds me of a personal story. I still remember her name from 55 years ago, Millie Aldenderfer. She was so impressive, the wife of a shipmate. After two children, her stomach was flatter than you’d think possible. Hip bone to hip bone, straight across and strikingly noticeable in skirts of the day. She wasn’t even skinny but well shaped. Back then women’s clothing spotlighted female features as compliments. I overheard her informing Grace. From childhood her mother had insisted and reminded to hold in her stomach. That’s it. From childhood she trained her muscles to strain inward. Husband sure loved it. A lot of envy floated around among wardroom wives.

    I leave you with a question. Do men think pregnant wives uglier or more attractive when women use t-shirts stretched tight to politically advertise their condition? Or wear modest clothing that discreetly keeps her condition out of daily dialogue? What makes husband prouder? Participate in her political statement? Or honor her modest nature expressed modestly pretty?


    • Eric

      I would guess definitely prettier when using discreet maternity clothes.
      You’ve probably heard of the movement among modern women for so-called ‘fat acceptance’. Though pregnancy is not the same, wearing revealing clothes has about the same effect.

      Sir Eric,
      You’re right. Both behaviors are just thumbing the female nose at males.

    • Dove

      ““Do men expect their wives to go back to their original figure after pregnancy?” They wish she would. They’re more significant when their wife appears as when he married her.”

      This expectation is sure difficult to live up to – and is definitely something that wives nowadays are not aware of.

      Your Highness Dove,
      Of course it’s difficult, which adds to pride he feels when she recovers as in original form. Her worth goes up with his pride.

      • Miss Gina

        Your Highness Dove,

        It does take effort, and certain things may never be exactly the same. However, God has put provision to help in nature…breastfeeding naturally speeds the process and helps in a number of ways, as do holding a baby and running around after a toddler! Many women are aware of this–and you probably are–but as a lay counselor at a pregnancy center, I was surprised at how many women are not. The modern paradigm of working moms putting babies in daycare is self-defeating in this department. This is not to disparage anyone; just stating the way it is. The only reason I mention it is that this may be a help to someone.

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