2230. Sex for Fun Ruins Women for Marriage


Many females are led by boys and men into this up and down depressive sequence that carries into and out the other side of marriage.

Prepubescent girls are propagandized by fashion and entertainment industries that teen life is fun and should be fun, fun, and more fun. As they pass through puberty, the pop culture, entertainment media, and boys emphasize sex as the ultimate road to fun.

Nature protects girls at first. Their biological makeup and childish nature reject sex for ‘later’. But they welcome whatever else is fun. Girls intuitively value virginity over fun unless taught differently by mothers or siblings as necessary to be popular. Their fearfulness is natural until persuaded that fear is childish.

Boys and promises of fun move to the top of girlish priorities, while sex rises to the top for boys. Then, as boys become more meaningful in their lives, the fun imperative with boys reinforces itself among girls. Unfortunately, it too often carries into adulthood as the result of what follows below.

Teen minds and bodies develop. Both sexes merge socially for fun. Separation of fun and sex begins to melt, as girls grow into adolescence. Striving to be popular, those most lacking in self-esteem find that yielding sex makes them popular. Other girls follow. Erotic fashions attract greater female attention and pleasing boys becomes habitual.

Infatuation sings with fun, but romantic love broadcasts greater fun. Girls probably can’t tell the difference. Boys, however, are infatuated with adventure of which girls are just a part until sex becomes available, which then becomes the greatest kind of adolescent adventuring and habit forming: quantity of conquests rather than quality of relationships.

Having a boyfriend becomes the ultimate path to girlhood fun. It reinforces a girl’s confidence, social importance, and envy of others. She can also lord it over girlfriends. The ‘security’ of having a boyfriend frees her for riskier behavior.

But then, sooner or later, her fun is not his. He expects more. He convinces her sex is fun too. Merging her infatuation with a boy’s hormone hurricane, she yields expecting true romance to emerge.

Romantic love has to be fun. So, if sex is required to hold their fun-filled romance together, it symbolizes fun. Even if it disappoints her, she still has him as status symbol. Until, that is, she realizes that conquest didn’t bond him as it did her.

Accepting sex as fun matches his nature perfectly, but it violates her own. As girls learn to adopt masculine as more important than female values, they learn to think and act more like the guys with whom they associate. Their identity becomes embedded in masculine fun, fun, fun. They are slow to learn that sex is the only glue.

Fun and sexual adventuring trumps strictly female interests. Mothering, nurturing, nesting, and family responsibility lose appeal. The female strengths of feminine mystery, female modesty, and unique dignity dissolve or disappear.

However, one female blessing remains. Wedding, the ultimate attention and affection producer for the bride, produces immense fun. She marries and takes seriously her obligations and vows, but the heritage and expectation of sex for fun lingers inside her.

When romantic love fades in a year or two, as it inevitably does, the fun ends for her. Responsibilities of partner, wife, and perhaps mother begin to burden her. As domestic burdens grow, depression arrives. It tickles her drive to restore fun to her life.

Values learned before puberty and reinforced as a teen turn wives into physical adults but mental adolescents. Manic until romantic love fades in a year or two. Depressive until the next romance starts.

Her childish need for fun overwhelms satisfaction with her current mate, but she rationalizes the fault to be his. For example, he pays no attention to her sexual wants, needs, and desires.

Such women never escape the adolescent idea that romance is both the ultimate and only fun. She needs new fun, and she learned earlier that it starts with a new man. So, she dumps husband and perhaps father of her kids who probably never sees it coming.

When romantic love with new guy fades in a year or two, she moves on. Ultimately, after a few or many partners, she finds that sex for fun causes a regrettably unfulfilled life.

12 Comments

Filed under Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, Fickle female

12 responses to “2230. Sex for Fun Ruins Women for Marriage

  1. Cocoa

    Wonderful analysis sir Guy.

    Do you however, See a relation between what you explain above and how and why girls who marry without any previous experience who are usually around the 18 to 22 years of age, succeed in their marriages?!

    I see it as a wonder and a colleague a while ago mentioned the same thing. He said, he finds it amazing that in some cultures even though the girl did not choose, know or fall in love with the man, that these marriages (not always I guess) last longer that other marriages that are based on what you have brilliantly explained in this article.

    Your Highness Cocoa,

    Women are created to marry early and they peak about age 18-22. Such women are shaped by favorable pressures that reinforce their determination before being exposed to unfavorable pressures. Witness:

    These favorable pressures provide subliminal advantages.

    • No sexual experience and consequently no exposure to the dishonesty and trickery of men and their conquering results and rights. Faith in trustworthiness of men remains in their hearts.

    • Still full of girlhood hopes and dreams, they are naturally primed to devote themselves to their marriage as something bigger than themselves.

    • Not yet shaken at that early age, confidence in both personal ability and marital compatibility strengthen their resolve to succeed.

    • They are more easily dependent on and grateful for a man, since they most likely have little or no experience with abandonment.

    • They have convincing dreams about motivating and satisfying a father for their children. They are too young for their dreams to have been crushed by close-to-them reality.

    • They have reached the optimal time of merging their girlhood hopes and dreams with their developing maturity. They know for the first time that they can achieve their dreams. Their self-confidence hasn’t been shattered by trial balloons.

    • Their female nature leads them to follow their hearts more closely than their minds.

    • They are determined to live within the boundaries of romance followed by enduring love and consider sex as primary reward for a man’s devotion to earn her for his mate.

    • Their self-dedication as a young woman of consequence convinces them that they are the buyer and some man is the seller.

    • They devote themselves to their marriage, which energizes them to keep their man satisfied rather than endlessly trying to find happiness for themselves.

    • It’s easier for a woman of 18-22 to be grateful for herself than for older women. She hasn’t yet learned how the world can work against her importance if she doesn’t work to uphold it.

    • Younger women have more hope than older ones, and marriage is based more on hope than sex, gratitude in the heart than imperfections obvious to the mind.

    These unfavorable pressures influence them less dramatically.

    • After a few years as twentysomethings listening to pop culture, sex promotions, political propaganda, and marital breakups, their minds capture their hearts for decision making. Girlhood dreams do not exist in the mind but the heart, and so their hopes and dreams begin to fade as the result of the realities of modern life.

    • Marriages crumble among older folks and it takes the glow off of female self-confidence as they age.

    • Older women become too easily convinced that they can manage a husband as they manage their lives, job, and others.

    Both favorable and unfavorable pressures generate more stability in marriage consummated among 18-22 year-old women.

    Guy

    • My Husband's Wife

      Good question, Cocoa! I’m wondering this as well.
      I’d also like to ask another question of Sir Guy related to your comment on early marriage: Is the delay of early marriage due to the American society condoning/extending adolescence into 20s-30s and even beyond?

      I’m thinking of this as I recently listened to a Matt Walsh radio show where he discussed “being accountable.” He spoke of the stage in life we now call “adolescence” as being relatively new in our society and that’s it’s given people in their teens excuses act irresponsible and not grow up, treating children like giant babies. Many people in their late teens / early 20s now have never held a job and have been sitting in a class room for 16 years or more. Whereas in the past, people in their teens had completed schooling, were married off, having kids and being adults with adult responsibilities. His suggestion was to start calling teens “young adults,” get them working as early as possible, and have them pay for their share of bills/expenses. So I believe Cocoa is onto something with early marriage. However–our society has completely moved away from this and we now have teens/adults who are in a state of arrested development or “adultolescents” as you always say, Sir Guy!

      I greatly appreciate all your articles, Sir Guy! This was another gem!

      Your Highness My Husband’s Wife,

      1st para: Not quite. Society doesn’t condone or extend adolescence; it is part of society.

      The delay of early marriage is the result of the growing popularity of parents not raising children to accept responsibility for themselves before puberty. There’s been an evolutionary decline since WWII. With post war prosperity, parents raised in the Great Depression dedicated themselves to ensuring their children had it better. Unfortunately, that meant easing off or lifting pressures that taught kids to accept responsibility. Since the 1950s, kids have more and more entered puberty without the mindset to succeed as responsible mini-adults.

      Eight or nine generations have magnified the effect. (Every 6-7 years a new generation arises with its own unique values, standards, and expectations that make them ‘better’ as they see it from their older siblings. Less responsibility is ‘better’ according to their value system. You can’t be wrong or held accountable if you aren’t responsible.)

      Under-prepared to grow up as responsible mini-adults, kids pass through adolescence just living for themselves rather than growing more responsible. Thus, they enter adulthood unprepared, unwilling, and actually dodging whatever puts pressure on them to perform at some task dependably or some responsibility conscientiously.

      2nd para: I agree with you and Matt Walsh. What kids learn before puberty determines how they pass through adolescence and end up as adults. If not responsible for themselves, they won’t be responsible for anything else. It’s a deep, natural, self-protective proclivity that parents are responsible to turn into a productive personality for life as a teen developing themselves to be a full-size adult.

      Focus on raising kids to be great kids and you have raised them to be lousy adults.

      Guy

      • My Husband's Wife

        A blessed Sunday to you, Sir Guy!

        Wow! I’ve learned so much from what you wrote…again! Your explanation of delayed marriage in current times has helped me understand what went awry in society years back…so we can know how to reverse the problem. I also read your response to Cocoa about the benefits of early marriage—a must for all to read as well.

        On a side note: I’m happy to report that the church body I belong to is now questioning the trend of later marriages (starting at 25 years old and upwards) and working to encourage marriage at a younger, deeming it a good thing. I will send them your list above of “benefits” to early marriage for girls. Many of your points have not been covered and would be quite valuable in making the case for early marriage. As the discussion has been opened, the only opposing argument seems to be this: “…but my 18 year-old is WAY too young and acts like a child still…and on top of that, they can’t afford marriage!” So that means parents have work to do the work early-on with growing children into adults as you propose.

        Your Highness My Husband’s Wife,

        “…but my 18 year-old is WAY too young and acts like a child still…and on top of that, they can’t afford marriage!”

        Such parental judgments are what produces 18 year-olds so immature that they can’t be ‘turned loose’ on their own. Rather than self-developed before puberty, they were parent-developed. Self-development comes from one’s own experience. Parent-development comes from ‘superior wisdom’ presumed to come with parents’ experience.

        Such 18 year-olds can’t:

        • live by mature adult values, standards, and expectations of self-conduct if their parents set poor examples.

        • be responsible for themselves. They never learned because of excessive parental direction and protection that the child learned to live as normal.

        • live by their own decisions. Parents insisted on following parental ‘wisdom’)

        • find their way in life. They were not sufficiently challenged in childhood to solve their own problems without help of others.

        • learn to get by on little. A meager childhood allowance teaches effectively if parents don’t insist on standards and provide extra consideration out of empathy or sympathy.

        • appreciate wealth by earning a modest lifestyle. A job in childhood works wonders to teach both earning one’s way and how to handle responsibility.

        • take legitimate risks that provide a return greater than their investment of themselves. Taking risks provide practical experience for growing rather than subsisting on what they can soak in from their surroundings. Perfect parents prevent risk-taking in order to produce a perfect child, which produces a poor adult.

        As you know, the list could continue to cite parental mistakes for which children have to take the blame, such as being unprepared at 18 to just take off and live their own life.

        Guy

    • Cocoa

      Many thanks sir Guy for your detailed response. Again, worthy of an article on its own.
      Could that be why my mother, after listening to my complaints (while crying sometimes) she says, I understand you are hurt, I see he could be so and so but for you and for now, off you go back to your home, this is where you belong. She tells me, what other options do you have cocoa? Start again? With whom? Is he going to be any better? how do you know? Will you lose the respect of your children? And, this one most strikes me: Are you willing, ready or have the courage to know another man?!! Your man, good or bad, has seen it all (referring to me physically) do you or can you try that again with anther man? I didn’t respond, but in my heart, I think no! Why is that sir Guy? Am I too scared after all I went and going through to start again? Is it because of this lack of experience and knowledge .

      What mother tells me, even though it hurts, it kind of make sense!
      When I tell her, I am getting allot of attention mum. She says, fine, very good , enjoy the attention , take care of yourself and always back to your husband! Sometimes I think she hates me!!

      Less knowledge and experience is sometimes a blessing and sometimes a curse!

      Your Highness Cocoa,

      “I didn’t respond, but in my heart, I think no! Why is that sir Guy? Am I too scared after all I went and going through to start again?”

      Scared? Probably. Not because of weakness, however, but strength. In your heart of hearts you know that you’re physically most valuable when combined with a man of significance. His significance gains in stature and your spirit gains in strength as he converts your physical value into greater significance for both of you together.

      It makes starting over full of emotional peril. You’ve a right to be scared but also possess the feminine strength and know-how to adapt and survive on whatever path you take.

      May I suggest this? Quit thinking about scared and scary possibilities. Think about what you want rather than don’t want. Identify every weakness in your present marriage. Then analyze each by breaking it down into the behaviors that cause it. Then analyze those until you find a small blessing, benefit, or enjoyable aspect. Use your heart and feminine mind to look for the outweighed good things that please you. Once completed, weigh the desirable vs. the undesirable and make your decision to proceed with what you have or with what you may gain elsewhere.

      “Is it because of this lack of experience and knowledge?” Only partially. It’s lack of faith in yourself strengthened by faith in a higher authority than mom.

      Guy

      • Cocoa

        I am speechless sir Guy! What to say?! You’ve touch on every single tenderness in me.
        I have and am weighing the desirable vs. the undesirable . I am praying and fasting too. I have no faith in myself nor in mum. I have faith in the Lord. He will take me by my weak and shaky hands to the place where I am supposed to be. He will lead me out of my uncertainty. One day I will be able to choose and change. I, for now, have one more mission with my boys, I shall deliver this last one and from there I would have made up my mind. And, you will be the first to know.
        I see the time is coming soon when I will be able , for the first time, to choose for myself, and in my heart I know that even if it’s the wrong decision , I’ll be grateful as *I* have chosen. I will be able to forgive myself and the Lord will forgive me to.

        Thanks again AND again for your priceless advice. What you tell me is embedded in a special corner in my heart and mind. May God reward you according to your kindness and His graciousness.

    • Tiffani

      EDITOR’S NOTE: MY RESPONSE IS IN CAPS following your questions in lower case. For readability I broke your paragraphs differently.

      Wow, having just turned 23 this makes me feel over the hill. I have been dreaming since 16 for a good man for long term relationship purposes and nothing has materialized. YOU’RE FORTUNATE. YOU ESCAPED THE ‘INFATUATION YEARS’ WITHOUT A BIG MISTAKE. YOU’RE ALREADY WISE BEYOND YOUR YEARS AND YOUR PEERS.

      I am actually so gutted that I’ve been spending five plus years rejecting sleazy or non-committal guys and having my dreams fly by and fade. “GUTTED?” YOU MAY WANT TO TURN YOUR LANGUAGE MORE TOWARD THE FEMININE. USING MALE LINGO ATTRACTS MEN FOR SEX BUT NOT MARRIAGE.

      I feel like a flower that bloomed and withered without even having my chance. I was that girl, full of hope and light, no one came and I’m tired of hoping for nothing. I feel like I missed out on a huge part of life, when I was most sweet and hopeful and had so much affection in me. YOU, DARLING, HAVE ENTERED ADULT MATURITY. YOUR SELF-ESTEEM IS HIGH BUT YOUR SELF-IMAGE IS SWITCHING OVER TO ADULTHOOD. IT NEEDS TENDING TO AS FOLLOWS BELOW.

      As a result my self confidence has indeed shattered. I may actually feel as embittered as those girls who spent themselves physically with men in their teenage years and have a jaded view of men. Self importance and self gratitude as well as self respect starts to run thin when you’ve been doing it for years and still no romantic affirmation or expression of devotion from a respectable man. IOW, YOU NEED CONFIRMATION THAT YOU ARE AND HAVE BEEN ON THE RIGHT TRACK. IT’S COMING BELOW.

      I’m also letting people panic me when they say that “all the best guys” would have been taken at my age by now. But who wants to snatch a man, I want them to pursue me. I don’t know how to feel. If 18-22 were the ‘prime years’ and I had no offers, what place am I in now? Is that it? MODERN MEN DON’T PURSUE EXCEPT WHAT THEY CAN’T HAVE. CHEAP AND EASY SEX MAKES WOMEN UNWORTHY OF A MAN’S INDEPENDENCE AND LOYALTY TO ONE. YOU WANT PURSUIT? STAND OUT AS MORE ATTRACTIVE, MORE UNIQUE, MORE FEMININE, MORE CHASTE, MORE GRATEFUL FOR WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE, AND MORE UNINTERESTED IN ADOLESCENT MALE BEHAVIOR THAN ARE YOUR FEMALE PEERS.

      I apologize for dumping my woes on your website. But I really don’t know how to feel about this. FEEL GRATEFUL. YOU’RE ON TOP OF THE FEMALE WORLD AND JUST NOT YET RECOGNIZED BY THE MALE SIDE.

      I have actually GRIEVED that my most youthful and romantic years (say 15-22) yielded nothing in my love life. THAT IS HIGHLY VALUABLE TO MR. GOODENOUGH WHEN HE FINDS YOU. NOT YOUR GRIEVING BUT THAT YOU YIELDED NOTHING IN A LOVE LIFE. YOU MAY NOT BE VIRGINAL BUT YOUR OTHER VIRTUES CAN EASILY OUT-ATTRACT THAT IN A MAN’S EYES.

      I can never get those years back and experience the self affirming experience for women that young love gives them. WITH MODERN MEN, THE “self affirming experience for women that young love gives them” TURNS MOSTLY TO MISERY AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER. BE GRATEFUL YOU KNEW BETTER THAT TAKE THE EASY ROAD.

      Perhaps it is better than having a string of bad memories with selfish men to deal with, so I am at least grateful for that, and to be alive and healthy now. SEE, YOU’RE COMING OUT OF THE DOLDRUMS. SPREAD YOU SAILS AND CARRY ON, DARLING. YOU OWN YOUR WORLD BECAUSE YOU INVESTED YOURSELF TO MAKE IT AS YOU WANT IT TO BE. YOU’RE THE PRODUCT OF ADMIRABLE SELF-ESTEEM, ADMIRABLE SELF-IMAGE, ADMIRABLE DETERMINATION, ADMIRABLE SELF-GRATITUDE, AND ADMIRABLE INTERLACING OF HARD HEAD AND SOFT HEART. JUST A REMINDER THAT WHAT MEN ADMIRE THEY CONSIDER VIRTUE AND THAT ALL MEN SEEK TO MARRY A VIRTUOUS WOMAN. YOU’RE WELL ALIGNED WITH THE PROSPECTS AHEAD OF YOU.

      Ridiculous question Sir Guy, but how should I be feeling about this and dealing with the disappointment of my unfulfilled dreams? I’m still young but not too young to have this bitterness! I don’t want it. YOUR BITTERNESS WILL FADE AS YOU FIND MORE AND BETTER REASONS TO BE GRATEFUL FOR WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE. MAKE YOURSELF A BETTER WOMAN AND DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE MEN. UNLESS HE FINDS YOU, YOU’RE ALREADY AT A DISADVANTAGE BECAUSE MEN WANT TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THEY WANT ON THEIR OWN TIME AND DISCRETION.

      TO BECOME BETTER PREPARED FOR ‘BEING FOUND’, MAY I SUGGEST A LIST OF BLOG SERIES?

      • MIRROR TIME

      • VIRTUAL VIRGINITY

      • HER SEXUAL HISTORY

      • SEX DIFFERENCES

      • DATING

      • FEMALE BLESSINGS AT BIRTH (AMONG BLOG TOP MENUS)

      • MANY OTHERS, JUST PICK YOUR SUBJECT OUT OF THE CONTENT AMONG BLOG TOP MENUS

      AND INCIDENTALLY, WELCOME ABOARD. IT’S A GREAT DAY WHEN ANOTHER PRETTY WOMAN JOINS US ON THIS CRUISE TO WHATWOMENNEVERHEAR.

      • Tiffani

        Hello Sir Guy,

        Thought I would provide you with an update. I’ve been reading your blog regularly and trying to put the principles into practice. Have I been meeting more men, definitely, but as we know quantity and quality are two different things. About a week ago I met this gentlemen at a charity ball. I say gentlemen because he actually behaved like one. He was polite and attentive to me for the whole night, and I the same to him. He asked for my facebook which I gave willingly.

        After a week of no contact or follow up from him I told him candidly that I’d be deleting him as a matter of principle (I delete men who aren’t my closer friends or relatives). He proceeded to give me his number and ask me out for coffee “as friends” sometimes. My answer was curt and to the point: “I never ‘hang out’ with a man one on one unless it’s in the context of a romantic date”. His answer to that was surprising
        “Okay, I understand. There’s a girl at my church who has the same standards. I think it’s admirable for you to conduct yourself that way”.
        I deleted him straight after. That sounds a lot like the curtain falling at the end of our little dance doesn’t it?

        Looking back and taking your advice of being hard to get, I regret spending a large portion of my attention that night towards him, when there were other men trying to speak to me. Was I playing the part of a ‘seller’ instead of a buyer that way? I was probably investing with the expectation that it would pay off with a formal date afterwards. I feel resentful almost, like he was enjoying the ego boost of placing a ‘dibs’ on me for that night only, even with no intention to follow up after that.

        What you said in the last paragraph above is too true, men want to figure out what they want at their own time and discretion. It is so incredibly frustrating as a woman. I only give them so much time before nexting them, and these days the time is exponentially less because I have firm intentions to find a husband, not a hang out or a hookup. I’m also curious Sir Guy, can these hesitative men take so long to discover what you say they all want – a virtuous woman – that by the time they do it’s too late, since the few virtuous woman would have been taken already by men with sharper discretion? I wish to be found by a man with that sharp discretion now, not be waiting forever for these wishy washy guys to come around.

        Thanks always, Tiffani.

        Your Highness Tiffani,

        Modern men swear off marriage as if it’s a cult. Not marriage but swearing off as cultish. Cult buddies shame them if they even show interest in being loyal to a woman much less wanting to marry one.

        I like the way you think and what you expect. However, when you said “never hang out” it implied opposition to man-think and he inferred unfriendly. More importantly, romance to men means whatever it takes for foreplay to commence. He knew “romantic date” did not mean that, so it could only mean marriage. He got scared and his heart took flight away rather than toward you.

        Next time say nothing about what you expect except no when your standards are at risk or yes when you approve. Just be super-friendly enough that he does all the talking about your relationship, which does not take away your ability to shape the relationship to your liking. You have to plan ahead.

        Let the seller describe himself, your value, and all that he expects and promises until he proposes. When he proposes, it means he’s bypassing his buds’ opinions in favor of you.

        Shame it has to be that way. I witness it nearby and women don’t know how to overcome. They talk too much about what they expect out of a man and a relationship. Not that a man can’t deliver, it’s just that he doesn’t want to when she acts like the boss telling him what to do. She’s so eager to express her expectations that he loses interest in her as the seller.

        A man facing an attractive woman wants to impress her with his qualities as he sees those qualities. IOW, he wants to sell her on what he is and has for her. Let him do the selling. Buyers negotiate best when they don’t reveal what they are willing to pay.

        A man’s interest in you can only grow enough for him to gain the courage to disregard the opinion of others when you are so attractive and so mysterious that he can’t figure you out but wants to be with you. That condition should remain until long after he proposes and hopefully up to the altar.

        If the altar, you can’t be a phony. It’s very critical that you don’t change after marriage except to disclose more of whatever/whoever you were before that.

        Guy

        • A.GuyMaligned

          Your Highness Tiffani,

          Players copied women about playing hard to get aka vague and unavailable. The tactic used to work for women and now it works for men. Reverse it. Give them their own medicine.

          I suggest you copy them back. Study blog articles on titles of both HardToGet and Men Play…. They might help.

          Guy

  2. That Horse Is Dead

    Sir Guy,
    A man of interest is divorced because his wife had an affair early in their marriage. She soon thereafter married the man with whom she had the affair, which seems to contradict this explanation slightly. I can see how the affair could have been a result of adolescent fun seeking, but why would she marry new man (and still together 15 years later) if he were not to blame in some way? He commented as you describe that he had no clue at the time.

    Your Highness That Horse Is Dead,

    If your question is why are they still together after 15 years, several possibilities exist:

    • Because she had the affair with first husband doesn’t mean that she was captivated in adolescence by the fun of sex as the post describes it. She may have just fallen for second guy in ways that overrode interest in husband.

    • If captivated as described, she may still be looking for the fun of it and she could be cheating as I write.

    • Their marriage may or may not be stable after 15 years.

    If I missed your point, please clarify it for me.

    Guy

    • That Horse Is Dead

      Yes, that answers my question about why would the second marriage last to this day. Does the fact he chose the wrong woman (in his 20’s and he’s 40’s now) mean either of the following: 1) she did a great job hiding her lack of character, or 2) reflect that he has an affinity toward “damsels in distress” type women…in other words, just as Sir Eric writes about how a lot of women like “bad boys” do certain men also like to rescue the wild woman, hoping they can fix her? This seems to go against male nature as you describe, but I’m just curious.

      Your Highness That Horse Is Dead,

      1) Perhaps and probably.

      2) Eric is right about women but men are not like that. They rescue women from what men can fix. Men know intuitively that “bad women” are beyond rescue by them, so they steer clear except maybe for sex.

      Guy

      • Beloved

        Hello Sir Guy and THID, I just wanted to say something about women liking “bad boys.” You do realize that it’s not exactly what it seems, don’t you? Women are all attracted to masculine men and THAT is what bad boys have. Masculinity (loads of it) and real or faked confidence. Once she realizes what a pain in the butt he truly is she is willing to settle for a much nicer guy. It seems many women have to learn that lesson themselves. Also, i love the comment about rescuing damsels in distress, so chivalrous. But is that attitude toward women dead these days? Even if he thinks all women are feminists but then meets a damsel to rescue?

        Your Highness Beloved,
        It depends on the meaning of distress. Women aren’t in distress when they have the reputation of being independent and able to handle anything that comes up. Even chivalrous men are discouraged when they can’t provide a unique ‘fix’ to whatever a woman’s distress happens to be. There’s just no need for any ‘rescue’ and guys stay uninvolved without a more realistic invitation.
        Guy

        • Abigail

          This is confusing to me. If she has been able to survive and ultimately thrive despite life’s tragedies and disappointments and maintains a gracious spirit because of her faith, she’s destined to singledom? When her husband died suddenly she surrounded herself with friends and family to start a new chapter of life and help raise her children. When financial strains surfaced she relocated, found better employment, downsized and made choices to keep things afloat. All the while faithfully attending church and small group solo and remaining chaste. Becoming more feminine than ever in appearance and complemented often “you are so pretty” why are you still single?
          What’s the alternative? That she appear more emotional, financially troubled, desperate and lonely so that a man would have something to fix? Do men not see virtue in being able to adjust, sacrifice and survive life? A better life that a man could provide is still a dream for such a woman.

          Your Highness Abigail,

          Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

          Q. “What’s the alternative? That she appear more emotional, financially troubled, desperate and lonely so that a man would have something to fix?”

          A. No, not at all. Men don’t have to rescue a woman. They also arise to physical attractiveness and personality attractions that just turn them on to something especially feminine and not like other women. Virtuous as the result of her features and qualities that one man admires. Fascinating as one man finds her as the result of those virtues. And showing some measure of promise to help him fulfill his ambitions and life as no other woman can.

          Q. “Do men not see virtue in being able to adjust, sacrifice and survive life.”

          A. Of course they do. But women often gain experience doing those things and come across so proud and firmly committed to past success that they send unintended and subliminal signals that they don’t need or want someone else. If you think your way of life deserves more out of single men but you’re not getting it, I suggest you look to yourself for recovery. I suggest two blog series: Dark Side of Feminism and Virtual Virginity. The former spotlights many things, some of which you may be doing wrong. The latter spotlights how women make themselves irresistible to men. Combined, the articles will slow or stop the unintended and subliminal signals that you MAY be sending into the ether.

          Guy

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