Post 2228 asked for responses to this question, what does your heart say about men? I fixed typos but couldn’t improve on your writing. So, this part is all you and yours. It’s what you ladies declare to be in your hearts.
I like this much. The preponderance of your opinions are based on character rather than how men treat women. IOW, you judge the background of masculine motivation rather than the results produced. It is significant for both woman-think and this series. (I numbered all entries for easy reference if needed.)
From Southern Belle
- Strength and steadfastness. Men don’t seem to be affected by stuff that just comes up that can interfere with plans and goals and dreams. (In the presence of a man like this I can exhale, let go and just be. It’s extraordinarily freeing. Conversely a man that whines and complains like how women often do when we get together comes across as ‘a girl’ and huge turn off.)
- There is also a clarity in thought process and decision making that invokes a similar feeling of security. Men don’t seem to get in the weeds with distracting details and what ifs. It’s like decision is made, what’s next? If new info comes up about a decision made, they readdress it. Men don’t seem to tire and get overwhelmed as easily as women with the sheer volume of decisions we make on a daily basis. (I find most women painstakingly seek more and more info and feedback before making a decision and then if it doesn’t turn out perfectly we beat ourselves up more about coulda, shoulda, woulda. Men don’t seem to do this.)
- Men seem to be able to shift from ‘work-mode’ to ‘play-mode’ easily. I find women need more time and it’s a process to unwind and shift from work to play-mode.
- When it comes to matters of the heart and vulnerability men are far more sensitive once they’ve opened up and shared this side of themselves. I feel
a tremendous responsibility to tread lightly with this fragile ‘gift’. Women tend to share their hearts more freely and regularly, it just seems status quo in our friendships.
- Just a man’s physical presence, how he stands, walks, and speaks exudes masculine strength. Men who are too huggy, touchy feely, or talk too much exude a feminine energy that’s a turn off as far as a trustworthy mate.
- Men are hardworking and smart working. Whilst men can be lazy, the priority generally seems to be getting the job done, rather than procrastinating or being finished as soon as possible. Sometimes it means spending a week looking for the right vehicle, sometimes it means crafting a hamster feeder in case he forgets to feed it one day, but generally things get finished when in the hands of men.
- Men love earnestly and want the best for everyone they love, from their best friend to their children, from their wife to their mother. Some may be misguided in how to do this, but most men, from the “Alpha Ass” to the “Beta Bitch,” want the very best for everyone they love.
- Men endure through everything. This is less common in my generation, where men and women alike seem a little soft to me, but for men as a whole it still holds. Men seem more capable of controlling their emotions, holding back tears and anger for an appropriate time, being the rock that women and children cling to.
- Men are safe. Whatever radicals try and tell me and however true it is that one or two men betrayed that trust, I’ve always felt safe in the company of men.
- Men have proven less likely than women to stab you in the back, attack you physically or pressure you, more likely to back down and give you space when you feel uncomfortable and more likely to defend you if someone else, man or woman, attacks you. It may not be a full white knight, but men want to protect you when you are genuinely weak and vulnerable.
- Many men seem to have a sixth sense for distress and fear, too. Walking down the street, camping at a festival or in a heated group debate, it feels inherently safe to see a calm, stable, physically and mentally healthy man nearby, especially if he has already proven himself reliable and trustworthy.
- The best men have those qualities of a dogged perseverance, calm in the face of a hurricane, grit when the time comes to do what is right, a kind of stoicism. Yes, there is a feeling of safeness and deliciousness in their presence.
- He doesn’t complain but actively works for what he wants.
- Men generally have an upbeat dynamic quality, a boyish optimism and can-do attitude not so ruled by emotion.
- They seem to tolerate pain better than women, even sometimes take pride in it!
- They also seem to take a broader view of the world and their focus is not usually so hyper-focused and critical of themselves as we women often are.
- The good men are protective and chivalrous to those weaker than themselves, but rather than doing it purely “For the women and children” they do mainly it to uphold their view of themselves as a strong, decent “Good Guy” and as something that must be done if they want to have a strong civilization worth defending.
- They are very “Natural” and not so concerned with appearance, which frees more of their masculine energy from worrying about how they look or what others will think of them.
- A boundless energy is what comes to mind when I think of most of the boys I knew growing up, and a fascination with setting challenges for themselves and mastering them (And then showing their skills off to us girls!)
- As they mature, a steadfast, stable quality develops which is very respectable yet mysterious. They keep their own counsel.
- Strength of character and of their convictions. Once they believe in something, it is not likely you, are anyone else will change their minds once they set out to do it, become it, or want it. It takes a lot to shake them. They might be down, but NEVER out unless it is their option to do so.
- Some love deeply and assuredly some shallow depending on the woman or friend. All men had a mother in which guided them.
- Right or wrong they take what is needed and discard the rest. Men remind me of an island to themselves. I feel grateful if allowed on and able to rest in their shade.
- Kindness to children is another. The sexiest thing I ever saw was a man swinging on the front porch with his little girl while he was reading a book.
- In a restaurant, a man performing stopped playing his guitar in order to hand a music cd to a small boy that could not reach it after tipping him. Men do not realize that is so sexy to a woman. Brute force with a suede touch. Masculinity at its finest!
- A very good friend of mine I watched carefully comb his 90 year old grandmother’s hair while in a Hospice. I was amazed! For a man to be gentle with God’s weaker sex stands out in spades!
From That Horse is Dead
- Today I was looking at a man’s dating profile online. One of his photos was of him jumping out of an airplane (skydiving) in tandem with his 10 year old son strapped beneath him. He was smiling ear to ear and the son looked wide-eyed, but like he felt safe. This is the perfect picture of a man to me. There’s the element of adventure and safety that you can’t get from a woman. I loved it!
Here is what my heart tells me about men, in general that is, not in respect to any man I know.
- Strong, emotionally and physically.
- Hardheaded, I guess.
- Decisive in general and while under pressure.
- Aware and alert.
- Stands up for himself, loved ones, and what’s right in HIS opinion.
- Not showing too much emotions.
- Tough outside while tender and considerate inside. (Some need thorough testing.)
- Sacrificing for no reason other than, well, he wants to.
- Less expressive, just keeping it in.
- A tough boy, almost to a fault, but who has a soft spot for his loved ones.
- Hmm, I can’t write as beautifully as all those wonderful answers, but for what it is worth…. I admire men’s clarity and their straightforward ways. When expressed in conversation, faith, everyday decisions, and practice, it is AWESOME.
The men in my life (father, brothers, good enough and you too Sir) are:
- Strong, sure, and safe – when he holds my hand I know I am secure. I can count on him to keep his word.
- Able to make tough decisions simply and in a clear-minded and rational manner.
- Rough, gruff, and tough but simultaneously gentle and kind. There’s something delicious about a manly man who understands the value of restrained and controlled strength … and has not been given over to feminization.
- Give trustworthy advice with little fuss and frill. Straight shooters.
- Handsome – it’s more than just looks but what I call a strength of character that shines through.
- Able to forgive and forget much faster than I can.
- Submitted to God which demonstrates a humility that’s essential for meaningful life.
- Self-confidence that borders on arrogance but is simply a belief that he can do it. ‘It’ being anything and everything that needs to be done dutifully, excellently, and seen through until the end.
- Loyal to, stubborn and hard headed about self-established goals irrespective of feedback from external sources and therefore willing to walk the path alone (purposeful).
- Puts family first.
- Not afraid of conflict and able to manage it effectively.
- It pleases him to please me.
- Admired by others, by me and by self.
- I’ve been wracking my brain trying to find words that describe good men. I’ve drawn a complete blank and my reason for that is that good men are just simply FABULOUS!
- Men always know what to do.
Those are high compliments, a salutary inventory of qualities that women admire. Thank you, ladies, for responding so clearly to my request.
Part III tomorrow lists what I sense resides in the female heart. A few are more guess than verified, but most have been observed and interpreted out of real life.