2234. Your Heart Says This About Men — Part III

Here are my impressions of what resides about men in the female heart. I’ve taken the liberty of expanding the seeds to include how it affects or goes with the male heart. We can’t know everything, but relationship experts can learn to work better with what they do know.

Readers will find that their lessons learned in life somehow and often twist and distort these beliefs to match their experience. To them, neither they nor men are exactly as described. The greater the deviation, the more such women live by their minds instead of their hearts. To some extent, however, you all will find differences between your heart and mind; it’s quite normal as part of personal self-development. You have to figure out what works best for your present and future.

One final caveat: I believe both sexes are born with an imperfect ability to ‘read’ and assess what lies in the heart of the other. Having the ability does not mean, however, that men care to do so or that common self-interest will even come close to matching. That must be worked out between individuals. Therefore, I tie together related elements in the hearts of men and women that can be used to improve relationship management.

Women tend to instinctively see and relate with men much as described below. (Let me know if you disbelieve or disagree with any concept or principle. I’m just a man, remember, trying to merge hundreds of discombobulated differences into something close to a compatible whole.)

  1. Men can help me in many ways if I treat them rightly as a person, appropriately as a man, and gratefully for their ability to stand and act alone as if un-needful of me. It’s a fair exchange and why I want a man for myself; I can make him needful of me.
  2. They can be cute while frustrating me, endearing while comforting me, and close friend of my heart when they want to be.
  3. All they want seems to be sex, but I admit that it keeps one closer to me than anything else.
  4. They respond well when I encourage them indirectly, such as with hints for them to think about and figure out if they choose to react. Or, indirect compliments that disguise my gratitude, such as ‘men are never more handsome than when they please their woman’. It’s as if they don’t appreciate what they don’t earn.
  5. I can accept it when integrity and character strength make a man stubborn, for that is the way men are. But stubbornness caused by selfishness may involve me if it’s not rooted in his childhood.
  6. I wish they were more open with their feelings but recognize they will never completely please me that way.
  7. What men figure out impresses them more than what I tell them. I guess that’s why indirectness, seed planting, and hints enable me to influence them better.
  8. If I like a man, I can charm him.
  9. If one man likes me especially, I am interested.
  10. Why can’t they be more like a woman?
  11. Men have a strong and independent sense of responsibility. Now, if I can just get it aimed more directly and ambitiously toward fulfilling my sense of importance by belonging to him.
  12. I see their strength of character show up when I or someone tampers with their self-respect. It seems to be the foundation of their strength.
  13. His routine accomplishments provide routine satisfactions that routinely reinforce his self-respect. His other habits support that behavior, which tends to make his interests his whole life.
  14. His self-respect makes him both interesting and easily admirable to me but also to other women.
  15. The more self-admirable are a man’s achievements, the more satisfied he becomes with himself over and above what others might think.

The series continues tomorrow.


Filed under Dear daughter, exes, sex differences

2 responses to “2234. Your Heart Says This About Men — Part III

  1. Can you please explain the second sentence from #5, “But stubbornness caused by selfishness may involve me if it’s not rooted in his childhood”?

    Your Highness Lovelypinkpearl,

    Okay, argument or deep discussion begins. After a few moments of back and forth, he stubborns up, cuts you off, and turns toward something else and effectively dismisses you. What caused it?

    Did he learn the tactic growing up and develop it into habit when not getting his way? IOW, habit reflected off of an ingrained selfish nature that developed in childhood? Unfortunately, that came with him when you chose him and there’s virtually nothing you can do about it directly. Over time and enough disagreements, you may find ways to outmaneuver his bad habit but that’s about all. For women, selfishness in others is easy to spot.

    Or, did you just do something to cross his threshold of manliness about who’s boss, his dominance, challenge of his masculinity, disagreement with his sense of responsibility, or just stubborn up yourself so that he sees no way for him to win?

    Only you can tell the difference after losing future disagreements and learning to avoid turning him off to whatever you say and whatever you’re after. Stubbornness is easy to provoke in a man. Talent, skill, and charm to prevent the uprising of it is available to relationship experts. Just another of their marvelous weapons for winning most of the time but, unfortunately, after losing a lot of battles amid silent remorse for not having done it correctly to bring a win to her.

    It may sound like war because the success principles for you are much the same for any victor: a plan, preparedness, strategy, tactics, and a way to recover if the ‘enemy’ surprises you, has you surrounded in what he considers your inadequacy, or feels threatened by your offensiveness dealing with him.


  2. Originally, I had interpreted the statement as ‘stubbornness caused by [his] selfishness, and focused on ‘his selfishness’, rather than mine; your third paragraph clears that up and once again teaches me to direct my focus on the things I can do to prevent or remedy situations that lead to disagreements.

    Gentlemen seem never more like knights in shining armour, than when they remind ladies of their innate abilities to use their talent, skill, and charm to rescue themselves.;)

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