2236. Your Heart Says This About Men — Part V


Editor’s Note: Viewed from my end, you ladies are not very involved with this series. But I post it to complete the series and make way for tomorrow’s subject about the superior gender.

Don’t you for the most part see men this way?

31. Trying to impose guilt on a man works against me. They won’t accept what I call guilt except from themselves (self-criticism) and even then they fix whatever ‘is broke’ or they forget it.

32. Even when he’s wrong, having to explain himself is contrary to his self-respect.

33. Decisions men make are like promises, and they don’t break promises to themselves. Perhaps to someone else but usually not to self.

34. Self-respect and self-assurance of their rightness enable men to resist criticism.

35. Men are instinctively energized to conquer attractive women. I can neither understand it, accept it, nor live with it, but I have to try my best.

36. Men value virginity out of proportion to its value; they can’t be that dumb but they sure seem to be.

37. Men are dedicated to the task at hand: work, study, rest, reading, relaxation, recovery, responsibility, fun, games, or whatever. Interruptions are unwelcome.

38. He’s both capable and self-centered enough to take care of himself, which enables but doesn’t recruit him to help others.

39. Men are fairly easy to understand until their words don’t match their actions.

40. Men can sit and do absolutely nothing. They claim to be thinking but productive evidence is lacking to me.

41. A strong masculine presence can calm fears that often arise in me.

42. Men are independent, benefit from a good woman alongside, but go out of their way to keep it to themselves.

43. Men have a strong and resilient character that is compatible with a woman’s strong and resilient spirit.

44. I will never understand the males’ mentality of wham, bam, thank you ma’am. I bond through sex, why not men?

45. Men are more easily respected than trusted but my unconditional trust earns more of their respect for me.

Those conclusions about men seem prominent in the female heart. They are connected to the ‘be good’ prime root that goes back to the Garden of Eden, which comes up in the next series tomorrow.

19 Comments

Filed under boobs, Dear daughter, sex differences

19 responses to “2236. Your Heart Says This About Men — Part V

  1. Cocoa

    Hello sir Guy, can you please explain to me #42.
    Thank you.

    Your Highness Cocoa,
    Men have a dividing line between what they will disclose to their woman and what they won’t. It’s a natural defense to keep anyone from knowing them too well and thus being able to blame them for what a man never wants to be blamed for. Make sense?
    Guy

    • Cocoa

      Make sense? I think so. So, what you’re saying is, that men like and appreciate a “good” woman along side, however and because they are independent, they won’t disclose everything to that woman. Maybe women need to learn this attribute from men. Very wise.

      Your Highness Cocoa,
      Learn the attribute? Of course, that’s why you read here that full disclosure in dating and courtship goes against a woman’s best interest. She’ll go full on to please him but he won’t respond to the same degree. A man knows that a women may use whatever he discloses against him but men won’t do that to women except for sexual matters.
      Guy

  2. kapri20

    Sir Guy,

    I have been unusually busy but must say that I have read this series with great interest and valued the insights and humour contained in it. I will be reflecting on the lessons … they are most helpful for my working relationships at the moment.

    Thank you as ever for an engaging and enlightening series!

    Kate-Anne

    Your Highness Kate-Anne,
    Thanks for reading between the lines and refueling my heart with energy. I ran out of steam trying to push original intention through mounting confusion. I’m fixed now, thanks.
    Guy

  3. I’ve definitely been following this series too. There are some I agree with personally, some I agree with generally and many where I am genuinely so unsure what the average woman thinks about it as to not make a comment. In short, I don’t think I’m representative enough to correct your general observations, even though as a unit my early input could have been valuable.

    Your Highness Superslaviswife,
    Thank you, darling. I love it when pretty women shine their feminine spotlight on me.
    Guy

  4. I’ve enjoyed reading your series and do look forward to your superior gender post.

    Your Highness Insanitybytes22,
    Thanks. I love it when pretty women know what paycheck to send.
    Guy

  5. Daisy

    Sir Guy,

    #39 I totally agree with, I gave my ex bf a second chance and apologized for his mistake which I forgave him for. He wanted to start over and promised me he won’t hurt or ruin our relationship again. But when his words didn’t match his action that’s when he started to confuse me. But thanks to this blog I wasn’t the same person he met before. That’s when I knew I had to walk away. I couldn’t and didn’t want to waste my time with men like him. I tried but he wasn’t Mr Good enough.

    Your Highness Daisy,
    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.
    Guy

  6. Joyful

    In regards to number #35. I read it as I, as a women should strive to make myself the most attractive possible to capture the man that I want. I remember reading in another post how men may see us as sex objects but women see men as romance objects. I think this true.

    I re and reread the Vanity Thy Purpose is Great series a lot. I’m grateful because it reminds me I need to fix myself daily plus watch my weight.

    Im not going to link to it but I read an article in the daily mail that said why its a wife’s duty to make other men fancy her. It sounds funny but she meant that your man should know other men find you attractive, which riles his competitive spirit, which makes him pay more attention to you.

    I think one hinderance women have with men is not making themselves attractive enough. There is study after study that show men, and people period, treat attractive women better.

    I think it would serve women well to up there vanity a bit, especially in this post-feminist world that actively encorages the opposite.

    I find when working to make myself look better it humbles me instead of inflates my ego because it takes a lot of work!! I look at it like the cultivation of a garden. All that hard work doesn’t mean you’re better than someone. When you see the “fruits of your labor” it conjures up
    a feeling pride in your work. It makes you aware of what you did right plus what more you may need to work on.

    I’ve also read on this blog that if people start harassing you for trying to be more beautiful, dont explain your reasonings. It makes you more mysterious. Smile, gentley deflect, and charm your opposition.

    If actively working on your outward appearance makes you feel like some self absorbed narcissistic monster, be sure to also look up articles on how to have a good character. Being attractive, paired with having a good character, is a one-two knock out punch that can get you anywhere!

    Thank you Sir Guy for these posts. I don’t comment nearly as much as I should, but I appreciate your wisdom and insight a lot. I’ve experimented and comfirmed a lot of what you say in real life situations that are almost textbook to posts you’ve written. Thank you again for you’re clear-headed explainations into the nature of females and males at birth. Now I just need to clean my room…

    Your Highness Joyful,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    Lady, you sure have your act together, on key, harmonized with life, and matched up with your screen name. It’s a pleasure to read you.

    Re vanity, have you found the mirror time articles? A 5-part series starts at 2123.

    Cleaning your room is a great close. Classy remark.

    Guy

    • surfercajun

      @ Joyful

      Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. Recently I too have been adding to my femininity with bows, flowers and jewelry. And every single time I have been complemented mostly by women! Not to knock the guys of course, they are usually quite gentlemanly towards me with their gentle smiles, nodding of the head or touching of their cowboy hats while acknowledging me. I try to keep in mind that men are visual creatures and when I make this feminine effort, they respond by making me feel like a lady more than anything else in the whole world!

      • Mia

        Sir Guy,
        her Highness Joyful prompted my comment. Adhering to mirror time for a few months now, if had a mixed experience that makes me draw different conclusions than her Highness Joyful. In general, I get noticed more, and I’m honestly not used to all the attention. Elderly women comment approvingly, younger women sometimes make snide comments. Men pay more attention, but it doesn’t seem to be game changing. It seems to charm them, but other women, who dress ordinarily and don’t seem too concerned about their appearance seem to be more successful. This leads me to think that personality counts for more after all…? Do men find women who put much effort into their appearance to be air-heads? I’ve been considering toning it down a bit, in order not to stand out too much… Is that faulty reasoning again?

        Your Highness Mia,

        “…women who dress ordinarily and don’t seem too concerned about their appearance seem to be more successful.” How do you define successful? Dates, marriage until it fails, lifetime marriage?

        Of course personality matters. Every personality is adjustable to another personality. Since men won’t adjust easily, they prefer to take the easy road with a personality that to them requires little adjustment. Women who dress unconcerned about their appearance also exhibit personal weaknesses, which usually include an undisciplined and uncaring attitude about what they must do to catch a man but with virtually no knowledge of how to keep him.

        Air heads are women who have neither the strength of character nor self-discipline to defend what they do have. Mirror time prevents or cures air-headedness.

        Now what was your question? Lack of faith in yourself? Take it to your best friend at the mirror and you’ll likely find a better answer that I give above.

        Guy

        • surfercajun

          With Sir Guy’s comment came this quickly to mind……

          “Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman.”
          ― Coco Chanel

          Didn’t you say, Sir Guy about the cheapest price gets the most attention comparing it to how women dress these days? I see tons of ugly cheap tank tops in bright colors as if that would make a woman feel more feminine. How much more effort would it be to put on a dress or perhaps a blouse? Maybe it’s just me. I tend to be wayyyyy picky about my clothes for wearing out or wearing out for yard work….

          Shouldn’t women pick the best clothes that looks wonderful on them? I count it as an investment. They say we wear 20% of the 80% we own. I wear the 100% of all I have. So purchasing something new is a complete joy after months of looking. ….Having it look better on me after weeks of working out…. bonus round!

          Your Highness Surfercajun,

          Actions more than words impress men. For example: Women in tank tops and similar attire don’t want to be feminine although they may claim the opposite in words.
          Their actions show they want to be more like men or even promote unisex, which suggests they wrongfully think men automatically respect a woman, which hints they think men want a manly woman who stands up for herself as politically equal, which men translate as anti-male except for sex and makes such women questionable as potential companion/partner/wife, which keeps a new man’s focus on sex rather than her.

          Manly women can be available for sex. But they are not keen about listening to what a man wants, which means they first expect or want their way. The symbolism offers little to induce men to stay in close association. Should such women be standing up for the unachievable goal of equality, men conclude that they listen to women more than would a man, which makes them okay for sex but not for keeping.

          IOW, wannabe manly women demonstrate they know little or nothing about capturing a good man or keeping any man for very long.

          Guy

          • That Horse Is Dead

            Sir Guy,
            A man of interest told me yesterday that women these days use sex to manipulate men into a commitment and that it just “doesn’t work that way.” He also said that the reason he feels his marriage didn’t start out on solid ground was because they had sex beforehand. Sir Guy, do you think this man was telling me this in part to see my reaction (i.e. am I or would I be promiscuous) and whether I would steer the conversation towards sex? I found it interesting he used the word “manipulate.” I get the impression he doesn’t trust women rather than not respect them. Is there a difference?

            Your Highness That Horse Is Dead,

            Allow me to draw some conclusions based what you wrote and offer some traffic control.

            1. He mentions not starting marriage on solid ground. It’s hindsight that reveals he was surprised, which means he admits now that he wasn’t in charge, which means he’s not likely to do it again if he has any say, which means he’s trying to figure out how and intends to marry into truth, respect, and trust the next time. Could be promising; green light.

            2. He used ‘manipulate’ means to me that his ex suckered him into marriage and became another woman when they got beyond the altar. Examples: 1) She turned up with a different personality because she was a phony in courtship. 2) She provided unconditional sex before but conditional sex after marriage. He’s wounded and will have to be resold on respecting women by learning to respect one mightily. Tough job; yellow light.

            3. He effectively complains that premarital sex misled him, which tells me he has expectations if not principles that don’t exactly match modern values and standards. His would appear to be higher. Perhaps encouraging; green light.

            4. Confessing such things to you could be his attempt to make sex the subject of conversation. However, it’s natural for a man to try to impress a woman by bragging about his accomplishments. In this case, however, he doesn’t brag but seeks empathy or sympathy. No bragging; yellow light.

            5. Of course he was looking for your reaction; who wouldn’t? But I suspect his interest is more a question if you’re interested in him before he directly shows much interest in you. He avoids rejection; green light.

            6. Women trust first and learn to respect. Men don’t trust until respect is earned. His convo with you is aimed at learning if you’re respectable enough for him by your being unreachable on the subject of sex. It’s a test; red light; don’t talk sex. Green light otherwise.

            If you’re still interested, proceed along two concepts. Develop and promote loyalty to and likeability of each other. Judge all your interactions as to whether your actions depend on his likeability to you such that it also enhances your loyalty to him. Judge him on whether his likeability of you confirms his loyalty to you and vice versa.

            A man’s love is based on those two concepts. He’s loyal because she’s likeable to him. He judges a woman on her consistency at sending the same messages. She’s loyal to him because he’s likeable to her.

            A woman’s ways of showing love means much to her but not men so much. If a man is going to stay with one woman, he expects to dominate what love is and sometimes isn’t. So, until you marry the guy, keep your affection and ‘I love you’ to yourself. Keep the spotlight on generating mutual loyalty and likeability, his form of love.

            Guy

            • That Horse Is Dead

              Your advice is insightful as always. You are correct, point 1, 2 — his wife had an affair early in the marriage. He also made the comment that he told his wife on their 3rd date he would marry her (perhaps love at first sight). We have known each other for a long time and in that time I have seen my share of his “bragging.” I think now we are peeling back a few layers. He also said something which I wonder if all men feel — that he wasn’t sure he could be a spiritual leader when he knows he’s not perfect. I took this as if he was asking me whether a woman (me) can be satisfied with a less than perfect man. Overall, it was a positive conversation.

              Your Highness That Horse Is Dead,

              You may want to gently pass these thoughts to him over time.

              No one’s perfect. Leaders lead anyway. Those fearful of drawing criticism for being hypocritical don’t lead well if at all. Too little respect accumulates from following the lead of others, acting like lesser folks, or acting without strong self-guidance.

              Leaders rise above themselves. They live up to principles, even those they can’t quite reach, for two reasons. 1) It’s more respectable and respectful than submitting to one’s own or unprincipled opinion. 2) It enables them to more easily earn and keep the respect of those they love.

              Guy

          • surfercajun

            Should such women be standing up for the unachievable goal of equality…

            This comment made me laugh and I love it! So true about actions.. not words… It makes me continue to think on how our *fruit* is showing. It makes me wonder if some women shouldn’t tuck theirs in?

            Men are never more handsome when tweaking women’s wordy thoughts. :o)

            (had to check on my spelling for tweaking… I kept thinking I was using another word!!) (((blush))

            • Mia

              Sir Guy,
              your comment and the other ladies posts cleared up a lot for me. Similarly to Her Highness surfercajun I spend a lot of time choosing clothes and make up etc. RE successful… well, I don’t know, it just looks like that to the untrained eye. I guess I meant getting men to date them permanently…
              I should have mentioned this: I recently received an email from a man I’ve known for some time through friends inviting me out on a date. Well, it was phrased in such a way to avoid any awkwardness in case I declined (which I did). He didn’t have any details on how to contact me and only knew where I work, so he searched me over the internet search engine of my place of work. I was really surprised at the effort he took to track me down. When I told my friends about it they were surprised too. May this be a result of mirror time?

              Your Highness Mia,
              Only you can know about the result of mirror time but it looks like it. In any event, thanks. You’ve triggered an article about mirror time that should post when I finish the current series about the superior sex.
              Guy

              • A.GuyMaligned

                Your Highness Mia,
                I regret I over-spoke. The thoughts I intended to turn into an article didn’t work out.
                Guy

  7. surfercajun

    37 is totally true… unless bringing a drink or food. I always knock on the outside wall before entering (to be on the safe side) while I wait for him to stop what he is doing, take off his headphones, and push away from desk. I enjoy if there is a smile involved, a “Oh thank you!” or perhaps a kiss.

    It makes me feel like Queen Esther because he seems pleased with my presence.

    Your Highness Surfercajun,
    It’s a classy way of indirectly showing respect. A magnificent way to show patience, uphold dignity, and harmonize compatibility. Yes, even queenly.
    Guy

  8. Starlight

    Hi Guy,

    Just wanted to say that your articles are very insightful. I’m learning how to navigate the dating / courtship world whilst maintaining my Christian values. You are such a blessing!

    Starlight

    Your Highness Starlight,
    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.
    Guy

  9. surfercajun

    @ Sir Guy’s post to Mia……

    I believe you might be trying to hard my dear… We lean on you for so much. I dearly appreciate your spunk in giving your best!!!!
    (sweet admirable smile)

    May the fourth be with you!

    Your favorite student,
    ~surfercajun

    • Mia

      Not to worry, Sir Guy, I appreciate your commitment to adhering to what you previously said, Sir. In any case, I think I have to thank you this time. I’ve recently come to feel that much has changed ever since I’ve been reading your blog more intensively. If nothing else I feel more at ease with everything I do now, I hope that lasts. Though I’m still far from being surefooted, I also feel much better equipped to assess what goes on around me and what’s in my heart. So thank you for your sincere guidance.

      Wishing you a happy Independence Day!

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