2239. TWO SEXES WEST OF EDEN — Part III


I continue with another Garden of Eden root that adds credence to the supposition that females make up the superior sex.

Love’s Additive. The sexes love so differently that an additive is essential to help generate and lubricate mutual love, tenderize it for permanence, and thus enable a couple to live together compatibly and enjoyably. Without love, there is no ‘couple’. Without the additive to attract men, energize women, and lubricate their togetherness, there is too little permanence.

You may recall from earlier blog posts. Men are primarily producers and women processors. Think of love as a process, loving someone as the result, and women as being in charge of the process. By accepting responsibility, it puts women in charge of providing the ingredient that eases or erases friction and enables couples to harmonize their compatibility. It’s the superior ingredient that’s required for long-range marital success.

A couple’s love develops over time; the proper additive expedites it. Sex likenesses within a couple don’t generate much friction but boredom follows too easily especially after romantic love fades. OTOH, sex differences help prevent boredom with one another. For that and other reasons, sex differences make the stronger foundation for compatible togetherness. Differences also carry the greatest potential for friction between mates. Therefore, the need for a lubricant. Fortunately, the lubricant is the same additive that helps women attract men.

Both attracter and lubricant? Sure. The additive? Femininity. The expression of numerous female traits in ways that make women uniquely different from men, who have little interest in staying very long with a manly woman. They want to marry a virtuous woman, and masculine features in a woman are neither admired nor virtuous.  Especially if she tries to get her way more than previously by relying on her manly qualities to overpower his.

Men see female qualities they admire and consider to be virtues. Femininity adds more man-sensed quality, which provides the extra magnetic-like effect that flows out of both glue and lubricant to hold a couple together more smoothly and longer. It’s more what he sees and imagines than what she thinks, does, and tries.

Men tend to stay with their earlier decisions, especially the ones of high quality that confirm they know what they are doing and that it is right. Also easier to live with later. If he’s attracted by a woman’s femininity and decides to marry her, he gets to learn years later that his choosing her was the right decision. It’s another blessing that permeates conscientious femininity. It confirms constantly that a man is doing the right thing for himself and ipso facto for her, which conscientious men accept as their responsibility.

Why does it happen that way? Because of a superior trait in women. The more they act like very feminine females, the more it confirms their self-importance, solidifies their character as being both strong and right, and improves their personal magnetism as they interface with a mate of many years. Very feminine women are quicker learners about men and togetherness than their less feminine peers.

Men are unable to produce such a superior product to generate and preserve relationships.

6 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, Fickle female, sex differences

6 responses to “2239. TWO SEXES WEST OF EDEN — Part III

  1. I’ve enjoyed reading “West of Eden.” Friction and an additive of love, well said and a somewhat amusing analogy, too. When you put the masculine and feminine together, there probably needs to be a little of both, a bit of push and pull to keep those two energies thriving together.

    This is an interesting idea, “It’s more what he sees and imagines than what she thinks, does, and tries.” That is kind of the nature of love, isn’t it? We tend to perceive each others higher selves, with a bit of idealism thrown into the mix. Love requires some imagination, dreams, romantic ideas, for both genders.

    Your Highness Insanitybytes22,

    And I enjoyed reading your “Misogyny and Christianity” at https://insanitybytes2.wordpress.com/2015/06/06/misogyny-and-christianity/

    It makes me wonder why there’s so little appreciation of how our American predecessors took two male-dominated religions, conceived and gave us founding documents that enabled the result—our Judeo-Christian culture—to evolve into female domination. You describe how women and Christians are now converting it to male dominance as fast as they politically and sexually can. Thanks for your blog.

    Guy

  2. surfercajun

    Very feminine women. What qualifies as this statement? Is there a difference between a true feminine woman or a very feminine one? I feel there is a breakthrough coming but I seem to be misfiring…… at least it *feels* that way. :o)

    This seems like the book, Give a Mouse a Cookie comment but I was wondering about what you stated on the committed and devoted series. You made the statement that this could happen in marriage. You further stated that actions program the heart of what someone does or does not do even if hateful actions… or perhaps even words? A person stating they are committed reminded me as a pie crust promise, easily made and easily broken. Can they be both committed AND devoted? Then I was asked recently, “Doesn’t it mean the SAME thing?” In honestly, I was not entirely sure. But it did not feel right. Kind of like staying on the fence or being two faced. Perhaps I just need to type this out to ponder on it more. I am not sure if there is even a question here. (sigh) My heart feels so confused.

    Your Highness Surfercajun,

    I detect two hidden questions.

    1. What is feminine? Give me a few days. Not sure how but I want to describe it. I’m loaded with work. If I don’t respond by Sunday, remind me.

    2. Are commitment and devotion the same thing? No! Commitment comes out of words and promises of faithfulness. Devotion is faithfulness without the need of words to describe it.

    The difference can be seen in how each term motivates people to act. Commitment comes from words extended by one person to another with an implicit or spoken agreement to be faithful to the other. Physically faithful for men but women also expect emotional fidelity. Usually their intentions become mutual to some degree.

    Commitment is a description of one’s intent looking for acceptance and agreement from the other side. The result is that it’s more like an unwritten contract.

    Devotion, however, is seen in the actions of one party that demonstrates at least deep affection and continual desire to please the other party. It starts out as a one-way street and doesn’t depend on reciprocity. Mutuality is not required; it may grow over time and a couple may come together in mutual devotion. But it also may remain one way in a successful marriage.

    Guy

    • Dove

      I dont get how devotion can be one way and still have a successful marriage. I thought it was always mutual. In the case of one way – is devotion from the husband or the wife?

      Your Highness Dove,
      Mutual devotion doesn’t mean equally devoted. Neither does marriage. Example: She’s devoted to him, he’s only committed to her. How long will they stay together? Commitment is words; devotion shows up in actions. Big difference and much instability when the friction of togetherness cries out for a lubricant.
      Guy

      • surfercajun

        ….much instability when the friction of togetherness cries out for a lubricant. Is it possible this lubricant could be in the form of tears before picking herself up once more? Perhaps more mirror time? A walk?

        I remembered what a very good and old male friend of the family once explained (your absent salve) this way. (or this seems to fit well) It is like a build up, and an explosion which resets and starts all over again. And then he curiously asked, “How far can one bend before breaking?”

        Also, I was mostly curious. Could this absent lubricant pass over into the marriage bed?

        Your Highness Surfercajun,

        1st para: Tears, picking herself up, mirror time, and a walk are recovery techniques. Mirror time has the greatest potential for correcting the original problem, which is the commitment vs. devotion mismatch. She married based on his words of commitment, which do not program a man’s mind for permanence. OTOH, actions that indicate devotion program permanence in his mind.

        Last para: Not sure what situation you have in mind for “the marriage bed.”

        Guy

    • Cinnamon

      “But it also may remain one way in a successful marriage.”

      Are you saying here that a marriage can be successful when the man is devoted but the woman is not (because my understanding is that a man MUST be devoted for the marriage to be successful)? What would this look like? I understand (as a long-term student of WWNH) that her likeability is key here, and that she must reward and appreciate him for providing, protecting, and problem-solving. Are you saying that she can successfully demonstrate likeability without being truly devoted?

      Your Highness Cinnamon,

      1st Q. No. I’m saying that a committed mate is not as ‘locked in’ as a devoted mate. It takes two devoted to each other for it to last permanently.

      Last Q. Sure. They’re not the same. Her likeability is what he perceives; it’s her as he appreciates her. She only has to not be likeable to him. So, she can be likeable and only committed.

      Guy

      • May I say something? I suspect commitment and devotion ebb and flow like the tide, never really existing perfectly equal in both spouses at the same time. Some days one is committed, other days one is devoted. Long term however, devotion becomes more the norm, and from a female perspective, my preferred state of being. I suspect my husband is frequently devoted too, but my own devotion is rather pleasant and satisfying all by itself, and actually not dependent on his at all. I just like to see his eyes light up and know that I have purpose and meaning in his life.

        Your Highness Insanity22,

        To simplify matters here, I describe commitment as what a man tells a woman or she tells him about their dedication to be faithful. Just words. It’s a subset of devotion, which is what one mate sees in the other’s actions that confirm the second has pledged their life to the first.

        If devotion is visible, commitment is included. Yes, to ebb and flow.

        Guy

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