2241. TWO SEXES WEST OF EDEN — Part V


Calling female the superior sex doesn’t make women the boss. They still have to counterbalance male dominance to fulfill female hopes and dreams. That’s what female superiority is all about.

I’ve gotten swept up in the drama of defining the subject. I have to shorten and end the series. So, the remainder is more claim than proof.

Women have several other remarkable strengths that add to their ability to counteract male dominance.

Gratitude. Through their achievements women appreciate themselves and it melts into self-gratitude, which both enables and makes them eager to be grateful of and for others. Men are major beneficiaries once they earn a woman’s gratefulness. But it extends deeper into female life. Gratitude is their path to happiness; the more grateful they are for the people and things in their lives, the happier women are. Men have no such inherited motivation to use feelings as a measure of progress in life. They measure by objective reality, what they produce, have produced, or think they have done rightfully.

Happiness. Women are born to earn happiness, which keeps them focused more on the future than the present. Men are opposite; they earn satisfaction daily and so it keeps them primarily focused on the present. What’s that old saying? Those who own the future own the present.

Born to Be Good. Being emotional creatures, women play both sides of this coin but men’s feeling follow their actions. An anonymous philosopher summarized the blessings this way. Actions follow words, habits follow actions, and hearts follow habits. To do is to be. Women are born to be good, men to do good. By doing good, women become good and fulfill their inheritance. Men, however, are not encouraged by their nature to be good. In fact, they lack reason to do good until trained in childhood or incentivized by women in their lives. The leadership role falls to the female.

The ability of both would be less consequential were women not also energized to do good in order to confirm their self-importance. Women are also inspired to be better, which enthuses them even more to do better.

Note that women have greater incentive and more energy than men to do good, which further enhances female superiority. Where would society be if men were allowed to get by not doing good for other than themselves as individuals?

Relationship Expert. However, life doesn’t always go well for couples. Men have little or no talent, skill, or willingness to manage relationships into success. Women do have that ability.

Silent Blessing. God intended us to live compatibly both as singles and couples. He empowered women with the art of indirectness to avoid competing directly with men. It enables women to breathe success into a couple’s relationship in ways that men cannot.

Motivation. Both sexes have a prime motivator. Women are motivated to endlessly confirm self-importance. They know they are important to others, but their sense of self-importance is unstable. They require frequent and steady feedback to confirm it, and so they continually seek it and hope endlessly to fulfill their mission in life and find happiness.

OTOH, men are motivated to seek self-admiration and they earn it with daily accomplishments that fulfill their mission to be satisfied. They don’t require feedback from others, although the admiration of others can help and that of a mate is essential to demonstrate her loyalty and thus justify his love.

The females’ prime motivator helps keep them focused on the future and makes them more adaptable in the present.

Roles in Life. Their hearts and minds energize both sexes to pursue life in ways that breed compatibility. Women are cooperators, processors, capturers of mates, and relationship experts. Men are competitors, producers, conquerors of women for their first sex together, and incapable of managing relationships.

Men as competitors and producers build wealth. But just like conquering the American West, it take women to civilize men and convert wealth into benefits for society and culture. Males suppress sharing wealth except when done competitively. Females share wealth out of the cooperative goodness of their hearts. To the extent women improve compatibility by sharing and bringing people together, they improve society and culture. IOW God prepared women to rule the rooster while they let their man rule the roost. Informal leadership! You recognize the stronger partner?

Morality. Men have little interest for imposing imperatives on themselves as individuals, such as moral and religious standards. Women, however, are the reverse. Individual values and standards based on higher authority reinforce the female character, which helps shape and characterize her virtues, which adds to her self-importance, which helps recruit and hold male interest toward fulfilling female hopes and dreams. When women need power to vanquish excessive male dominance, they strengthen and appeal to their individual moral high ground. It enables them to overcome in principle if not in fact, to outwit if not outsmart.

Respect and Trust. The sexes differ greatly on this subject. Men expect and insist on being respected. Women expect and insist on being trusted. They differ because of the way they give respect and show trust. Men respect first and give trust only after it’s earned; they don’t take risks. Women are opposite. They trust first and let the results earn respect; they take risks. The physically weaker takes more and the greater risks, which takes more courage, which in the male world registers as very respectable, which earns male respect, which is the foundation of a man’s love, which connects him emotionally to a woman, which rewards her courage with masculine love.

The dominant gender steers the easier road. Women pay tolls to travel the riskier road, so which is the stronger sex other than physically?

Balance. The battle of the sexes to both create and preserve compatibility has historically been fought over one principle from the Garden of Eden also embedded in the Constitution of the United States. Whether for singles or marrieds, gender compatibility revolves around the balance of power. Without competitive balance, one gender will outdo the other until tyranny results, which for women could mean enslavement or something close to it. (Know any women in the world in that position now?)

Character Strength. Women hide their most beneficial strategy so well that most have forgotten that it exists. Women don’t claim and men are never reminded that the dominant gender is anything but the top of the power pyramid; no competition at the top.

Yet, subliminally but continuously, women use their natural and superior abilities to foster compatibility, build harmony in the home, prevent enslavement or anything close to it, and keep the other gender satisfied that men rule the roost as they have always done.

It’s the paradox of all time. The superior sex exercises its superiority simply by refusing to acknowledge it, by bowing, deferring, and governing just the right amount of male dominance inside a couple’s relationship that female hopes and dreams are eventually fulfilled in spite of today’s hardships.

I’m not sure I’ve identified all the ways that the female sex is superior. But it’s enough for now.

Advice for Ladies. Don’t share this series with your men. Keep it under wraps, else you stir suspicious thoughts of ‘what’s she up to now’? If and when he ever brings it up, just smile as coquettishly as possible and repeatedly if necessary and get on with confirming him as ruler of the roost. Our female ancestors confirmed long ago that silence about superiority enables indirectness, which engenders greater success for brightening the female future.

NOTE: Ashley Montagu provides a scholarly description of the superior adaptability and survivability of females in The Natural Superiority of Women, first published in 1952. My copy is fifth edition from 1999.

9 Comments

Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, sex differences

9 responses to “2241. TWO SEXES WEST OF EDEN — Part V

  1. Interesting! I’ve enjoyed reading your words. This made me chuckle, “It’s the paradox of all time.” It really is, a bit of Divine comedy actually. Women ourselves are often operating within a paradox. Men tend to prefer their info a bit more tidy, black and white, yes and no.

    Your Highness Insanitybytes22,
    Amen, sister, you have the picture.
    Guy

  2. SouthernBelle

    Sir Guy,
    I am struggling with the trust/respect equation. The truth that loss of respect even if slight leads to an erosion of trust however subtle or aware we may be of that as the root cause resonates strongly with me. However, I find that I take men at face value (aka trust) far more readily than women. I just don’t think men are as manipulative or devious. Even if don’t respect some behavior or decision of a man, I respect the authenticity and feel more at ease. This seems contrary to female nature as described. Your perspective on this perceived paradox are much appreciated.

    Your Highness SouthernBelle,

    Rest easy, darling. Struggle no more. Your thinking is more closely aligned with your female nature than with men or your sister females who are unsuccessful with men today. You know and trust yourself, which is evidence of healthy self-respect, which signifies to me that you’re also grateful for yourself. All of which enables you to deal with men from a strong and compatible personality foundation.

    It’s a sign your feelings are a much better guide for you than you perhaps think. Your self-confidence and self-trust should soar rather than be ignored.

    Guy

  3. prettybeans

    Sir Guy, could you kindly clue me in as to what a man may mean when he says he is private? To my mind isn’t that the same as secretive?
    Thank you

    Your Highness Prettybeans,
    Yes, I would think so. However, understanding the context might present another view and less seemingly offensive position for him to take.
    Guy

  4. prettybeans

    We were having a conversation and gent in question mentioned that one of the things he is keen on is to keep his business private. In my observation he is quite conservative and shies away from overt public displays of affection, passionate (loud/excited/heated) conversations and has a firm grip on his emotions.
    But I wonder whether this is the same as being secretive (in the manipulative and dark sense)

    Your Highness Prettybeans,
    Not to worry. Keeping his business private, being conservative, and shying away from overt public displays are very masculine attributes. Firm grip etcetera is indicative of man with strong and admirable character. It’s not the same as secretive on a personal basis, although there is at least probably some carryover. You’ll just have to determine if it suits you and your desires.
    Guy

    • That Horse Is Dead

      Sir Guy,

      “Keeping his business private, being conservative, and shying away from overt public displays are very masculine attributes” — what would be the feminine equivalent? It would seem that a man may prefer those qualities in a woman (i.e. the opposite would seem to be full disclosure, hugging/touching every man she sees, being loud/boisterous, etc).

      Your Highness That Horse Is Dead,

      Nope, somewhere about midway between him and what you describe. Feminine isn’t showing off. It’s more an attraction than pushy. It’s discreet but friendly, more mysterious than open to others, more appealing personally while she remains her own woman. Her personality and presence pull him into the pool of friends without his having to disclose his interests. She compensates for whatever he lacks associating with others that he may bring on himself for his caution, independence, and need for privacy on business if not personal matters. Whatever he lacks, she supplies.

      IOW, neither like him nor totally unlike him, she spreads their interpersonal success among others. She compensates in whatever ways make him look good to himself, her feel good about herself as his wife, and gets rid of associates who don’t accept or buy into their joint social personality.

      Don’t ask how she does it? I don’t know. I just know that I’ve described the female personality in action to pursue her self-interest for getting her husband to help fulfill her girlhood hopes and dreams. You have to figure out how to do it both poorly and well.

      I know. I know. It’s unequal. It’s unfair. That’s the modern propaganda and in-group mantra. The absence of what I describe above is the reality of why many couples break up. Men don’t marry to fulfill female political agendas, but they can be persuaded and handled with velvet gloves to help fulfill long-range female hopes and dreams. Provided, of course, she manages their relationship for togetherness rather than meeting the expectations of those outside their marriage.

      Guy

    • prettybeans

      I hadn’t thought of that. Thank you for the reassurance Sir

  5. Southernbelle

    Sir Guy
    I’m very confused by this …
    “Men respect first and give trust only after it’s earned; they don’t take risks. Women are opposite. They trust first and let the results earn respect; they take risks. The physically weaker takes more and the greater risks, which takes more courage, which in the male world registers as very respectable, which earns male respect…”

    I thought it was best if he has to take the bigger risk and earn her trust before she risks trusting him. What does her trusting him look like prior to marriage?

    Your Highness Southernbelle,

    The quote describes the male and female natures.

    Your last paragraph describes a strategy for holding a man’s interest. It looks like whatever she allows him to do.

    Guy

  6. Meow Meow

    “The physically weaker takes more and the greater risks, which takes more courage, which in the male world registers as very respectable, which earns male respect…” This sentence is so true that it gives me chills. Ladies we are brave for sticking to our truth and our values.

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