2267. Attention, Ladies


I’m leaving town early Friday but expect to be back online Saturday morning. We have exciting exchanges going about a fiancé’s weekend soirees. Keep the pot stirred, ladies, until I get back. I’m sure we all have more to say.

Guy

5 Comments

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5 responses to “2267. Attention, Ladies

  1. surfercajun

    Oh Dear Sir Guy!!

    The rudest woman in the world was at the salon today when I went for a cut. She had her daughter with her and they were waiting outside the restroom which was about five steps from where I was sitting and in the salon itself, when she begin to BANG on the door telling whomever was inside to, “Hurry it up in there! A line is waiting outside!”….in a rather loud obnoxious voice! Several women looked up. One woman that was washing another woman’s hair told the rude woman there was an 85 year old in there. The rude woman demanded……DEMEANED that she needed to hurry up as her little girl needed the restroom. Another told the rude woman that if she needed to there was other bathroom nearby. Then the woman begin to rudely ask for a manager. Which the other woman hairdresser that gave the suggestion, walked off and said, ”Don’t look at me!” (me …giggle) but the rude woman persisted and an manager was called. She left and the hairdressers and I just shook our heads in amazement…. I kept thinking…….. and the little girl still had to go to the bathroom!!!!! Now she was going to have to wait because of her rude mother! Oh it was awful but those older women were not going to put up with this rude helipad bottom woman!!! I told one of the older ladies she did right protecting that older woman in the bathroom which I found out it was her client! It was nice to see these older no-nonsense ladies take care and handle this woman right out of the store! Of course all the women were talking about it afterward but the sentence structure never changed…. That rude woman…. So any way, this needed a song and I found this one! I know it’s don’t be cruel…but being rude IS cruelty to others!!!!

    • Cinnamon

      “Being rude is cruelty to others” – Amen, Surfer Cajun. This is a great topic. Trying to deal effectively with rude people (who are BULLIES) leaves me limp. I would love some guidance from Sir Guy on how to do this effectively, maybe an article with a few case studies (such as you describe above).

      Your Highness Cinnamon,

      The rude woman cited by Surfercajun has abandoned living by her heart and taken to copying men. It’s sad and another reason it’s so troubling. Women who live by the guidance of their female nature don’t understand a woman acting so egregiously, out of sorts, and ineffective in her world.

      Rude isn’t cruelty unless aimed at a man personally or unless he takes offense on behalf of a woman or child. Whether direct or observed, it’s a relationship issue, and men are just not that sensitive about it.

      They are used to it and don’t call it rude; it’s pretty normal. They expect and witness a lot of rudeness in their competitive environment outside the home. In fact, it’s a weapon that men use sometimes to remind others of their positions of relative dominance. That is, the pecking order in these situations: customer to incompetent server, boss to a too-bold underling, adult to unruly child.

      Women use it all the time to dismiss unwanted men who hit on them.

      If a person aims their rudeness at a man and it bothers him personally, he takes offensive action to retain his composure, which could mean demeaning laughter or turning away out of disinterest. Or, if someone’s rudeness is an offense to his dignity or position of authority, he might respond in either mental or physical offense mode. If the rudeness is aimed at a female or child, a man may step forward to defend them. IOW rude is fairly common and easy to dispose of and forget.

      Contrary to women’s way, men handle rudeness much as they handle other minor tics in human behavior. Men lack the relationship sensibilities that women possess in a refined and expectant manner that disdains rudeness. They have to be trained in childhood to have the same disdain for it that women possess naturally.

      Guy

      • Miss Gina

        Lady Cinnamon,

        Just to add another angle to Sir Guy’s answer, here are a few weapons in the lady’s arsenal for dealing with rude people/bullies. Studying and actually practicing are the only ways to overcome the natural “fight or flight” reaction that can keep all of us tongue-tied in the shock of the moment:

        Silence and poker face in answer to rude comment

        Ignore

        Back turned

        Glares

        Eyebrow or eyebrows raised (as in, “Really!?!)

        Disdainful look

        Get up and walk away

        Break bully’s ownership of the moment by excusing yourself to restroom or water fountain, etc.

        Short comebacks thrown sideways or over the shoulder, “Really?” “Seriously?” “Whatever!” “((condescending laugh))”

        All-purpose comeback to rehearse: “That’s interesting; what would make you say that?”

        For repeat offenders, it is wise to plan and rehearse a couple of short comebacks specific to the person’s patterns of offense.

        The ladies described above handled this incident perfectly in defending the elderly woman. All treated bully with the attitude of, “Seriously!?” and were in unison against the bully. She left. I’m sure this left a worthwhile impression on the girl and she will be less likely to emulate mother. Worth studying.

        Lesson from my husband, who stood down bullies in his school years from the inner city to remote primitive jungle tribes: Bullies are cowards who flee in the face of strength and bravado. Stand up to or challenge them, and they almost always deflate or disappear.

        Bullies understand power. Use your personal power against them. Do what you can to increase your personal power. It is right to do so in a good cause, and you can defend others better. Recruit others with power on your behalf if you can. Know that bullies can sometimes manipulate people in power because power is their lifeline and they take pains to suck up to powerful people.

        Feminine power = beauty, knowledge, wisdom, mystery, morality, high standards, courage, confidence, emotional intelligence, moxie (audacity in a good cause), protective nature of men for the feminine. At all times, hold your head high and do the unexpected.

        Female bullies are extremely jealous and afraid of feminine women. Feminine woman is the pinnacle of creation, in my humble opinion–she was the very last thing God made, on the very last day, even after Adam.

        I can so see you standing up to a bully, Cinnamon! You already have learned to do it with WWNH principles for standing up for yourself to men.

        Your Highness Miss Gina,
        Thank you for reading the mind of Lady
        Cinnamon and helping me. I know her background and obvious intelligence from dealing with her off-blog. I’m sure she’s very good at handling rudeness. She honored you ladies by putting me to work to tell you what I think about rudeness. I was just unable to do it with your style and completeness. Thank you for clear and good phrasing.
        Guy

        • Miss Gina

          Sir Guy,

          I appreciate your words, sir. I was actually surprised she asked. However, I was glad to refresh my own ability to handle rude folks by sharing.

          I would only correct myself by changing “condescending laughter” to “victorious laughter” and by adding that a feminine woman’s ability to be gracious yet firm in the face of rudeness, to love, and to connect with others are also sources of great power.

        • Cinnamon

          Sir Guy and Miss Gina,

          Thank you for all the EXCELLENT advice 🙂

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