2274. Compatibility Axioms #911-920


911. a) If they marry, how can he assess the likelihood that she will be faithful? b) What should arouse his suspicions? c) Who and how many men got there before he did? d) How should he react when encountering men who have laid with her? e) How will she react when encountering them again? f) How will he compare sexually with them and her ex-husband? g) Any sexual attractiveness remaining with ex-husband or others?* He considers her sexual history the best source for figuring out such things. The less trustful his character, the more intense to learn her past.

*Note: He’s concerned more with lingering physical than emotional attraction that women worry more about. [302.]

912. Feminine intuition tops full-disclosure of her sexual history. While not easy, women have the skills and expertise to hide who, what, when, where, why, and how of what he doesn’t already know.  So, “have to” isn’t a sound reason for full-disclosure. [302.]

913. Former relationships may be known to her man, but no mention should EVER be made or details disclosed even about ex-husbands. It’s taboo if her previous relationships are not totally forgotten by her. Unfortunately, he won’t forget although he can forgive. Whether sincere or claimed forgiveness depends on his character? [302.]

914. Wise women plan and minimize disclosure of their sexual history long before new relationships begin. By planning to treat all men alike, she conditions her thinking to not go off the deep end of infatuation. [302.]

915. When a woman concludes that men are only after one thing, she thinks insufficient all else she has to offer, which makes her a poor candidate for marriage. [306]

916. Women generate unhappiness this way. She focuses negatively on her man’s shortcomings, which worsen precisely because of her attentions to them. [306]

917. Booty call: The screwing she gets for the screwing he gets. Duty sluthood costs her much more male respect that she can ever imagine. [306]

918. College girls major in booty for reasons incomprehensible to any father. [306]

919. Capturing a man is easy. Keeping one is not. The burden is on her. Her nature seeks togetherness and his seeks independence. Sex is always insufficient to end his independence. [306]

920. Virgin girls believe they won’t get dumped if they yield. Actually to men, the more his buds have tried and failed, the harder she is to dump. Unless he’s really into her other strengths and attributes, which isn’t evident until after many months of dating have passed with him fascinated by her person and womanly demeanor. [306]

7 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, sex differences

7 responses to “2274. Compatibility Axioms #911-920

  1. Lilac

    EDITOR’S NOTE: MY RESPONSE IS IN CAPS following your questions in lower case.

    Thank you for your wise words. But as i read more of your blog, i speak to myself “i do not know how to play this dating game.” As a single, never-dated woman in mid thirties, i do not see any likely suitors in near future although marriage is often one of my hopes n dreams. What advice can you give me?

    TIME IS SHORT AND SHOCK AND AWE ARE NEEDED. CHANGE THE WAY YOU LIVE. MAKE OVER YOUR APPEARANCE. GET PROFESSIONAL HELP OR SOLICIT FRIENDS’ ADVICE ON HOW TO MAKE YOURSELF PRETTY IN WAYS DIFFERENT FROM YOUR PRESENT HABITS.

    NEVER MENTION MARRIAGE OR PhD TO MEN. TALK OF SOMETHING ELSE. YOU ARE IN SCHOOL BUT THAT’S ALL.

    PROMISE THEM NOTHING. ENCOURAGE MEN TO TALK—PRACTICE ON FRIENDS AND FAMILY—AND LISTEN TO THEM. MEN LOVE TO TELL PRETTY WOMEN ABOUT THEMSELVES, SO YOU HAVE TO APPEAR MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN THE PAST TO CAPTURE MORE ATTENTION AND YOU HAVE TO LISTEN WELL. EARS-ONLY IS ATTRACTIVE TO MEN. (NOT ACCUSING, JUST STRESSING THE WORTH OF NEWER, PERSONAL UPLIFTING HABITS FOR YOU.)

    Should i continue being content n grateful for my single life?

    NOT NO BUT HELL NO. GO ON THE ATTACK. SHOCK AND AWE FOR THE WORLD TO SEE A NEW YOU. OF COURSE IT’S RISKY. YOU WILL SEEM TO LACK CONTROL UNTIL YOU GET USED TO A NEW YOU. YOU RISK GETTING DEPRESSED FROM IT. NOT TO WORRY. WITHOUT RISK, THERE IS NO GAIN. SO ENJOY A NEW LIFE FOR WHAT IT IS, A NEW ADVENTURE. RESTORE TO YOUR HABITS OF THINKING SOME OF YOUR TEENAGE THOUGHTS OF ADVENTURE, ALSO HOPES AND DREAMS.

    FOR GUIDANCE, STUDY BLOG ARTICLES WITH “DATING” AS FIRST WORD OF TITLE.

    Should i ask my friends to introduce some possible candidates to me, or even try online dating service?

    YES TO BOTH. STUDY MY SERIES “ADVERTISING ONLINE FOR DATES”.

    Pursuing a PhD degree is an open door to me. Dating n marriage is a trade off to this option of further studies. Should i go for something that i can control (ie studying) or something that i have no control of but i have more desire for (ie marriage)?

    JUST BELOW, CINNAMON ADVISES YOU ABOUT THAT. IT’S GOOD STUFF FROM HER.

    TO FOCUS ON CONTROL IS TO RISK DEPRESSION, WHICH BRINGS ON DISCOURAGING THOUGHTS AND DEMOTIVATING YOURSELF. PLAN TO WIN SMALL ENCOUNTERS WITH MEN. THEN, FOCUS ON SUCCESSES HOWEVER MINOR AND REWARD YOURSELF HOWEVER MINOR FOR EACH SUCCESS. ROUTINELY PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK.

    LEARN TO SMILE MORE AND MORE EASILY. TRUST MEN UNCONDITIONALLY UNTIL EVIDENCE APPEARS TO THE CONTRARY.

    EACH TIME YOU THINK YOU HAVE FAILED OR COME UP WEAK DEALING WITH A MAN, FORGIVE YOURSELF FIRST AND THEN FORGET IT. GO BACK ON THE ATTACK TO PRESENT YOURSELF AS THE HELLUVA WOMAN THAT YOU ARE—ATTRACTIVE, FRIENDLY, LOYAL, AND LIKEABLE RISK TAKER WHERE MEN ARE CONCERNED. PERHAPS LOVEABLE BUT LET MEN WORRY ABOUT THAT. KEEP YOUR LEGS CROSSED AND MAKE MEN WORRY WHAT IT TAKES TO GET YOU TO ACCOMMODATE THEIR WISHES.

    READING THIS YOU’LL LIKELY THINK YOU CAN’T DO IT OR MAKE IT. OF COURSE YOU CAN, BUT IT TAKES DETERMINATION TO PURSUE ANY DREAM.

    THIS WILL HELP. AT BEDTIME EACH NIGHT VISUALIZE THAT YOU’RE ALREADY MARRIED AND PREPARING TO RETIRE. WHAT WOULD YOU BE DOING? DO IT AS POSSIBLE. GET YOURSELF EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED WITH THAT SCENARIO. MAKE IT A LIVING DREAM. HOWEVER, IF YOU WORRY ABOUT FAKERY OR FAILURE, IT WON’T WORK. YOU HAVE TO DREAM SINCERELY AS IF YOU’VE ALREADY ATTAINED MARRIAGE.

    GUY

    • Cinnamon

      Lilac,

      I just want to jump in here quickly. You don’t have to choose between dating and PhD. You can do both. Remember, a man doesn’t care if you are Head of Neurosurgery at Harvard or a waitress at Denny’s just so long as you are feminine. Don’t fall for the lie that you must choose one and forsake the other. Since marriage is your priority, prioritise dating (see next paragraph) but continue to order the rest of your life around the secondary goal of the PhD unless it interferes too heavily with dating (it shouldn’t, given time-saving options for meeting men such as online dating). If you do end up getting engaged and the PhD won’t fit in marriage plans then you prioritise the marriage. But that’s in the future.

      You do not have total control over your dating life (no one does) but you DO have enormous influence over it. You need to study the Content section of this blog to learn how to gain this influence. I like “Bootcamp for Girls” as a place to start, but all Sir Guy’s series are excellent.

  2. Lilac

    Thank you, Guy & Cinnamon! I will digest your words and take them into action as much as possible.
    Thanks to Guy for teaching me about “pretty time”. I used to think that “pretty” does not describe me but now I am learning to educate myself that I am pretty.
    I am still far away from “attractive”. I have been believing about “beauty is deceptive” and “luxury is not a good thing but we should give to others”. Isn’t it true? How can I be modest, attractive but not seductive? I still have much to learn and put into practice…

    Your Highness Lilac,

    In your heart of hearts you know you are pretty. Perhaps someone in your past discourage such thoughts. Well, you need to exploit what you know to be true. Prove it to yourself each day at the mirror.

    You are as attractive as you make yourself at the mirror under the guidance of your best friend image. Beyond that, don’t worry what others think. Just don’t do radical or groom or dress out of the mainstream practice of women. Today’s article 2276 may provide some guidance.

    Learn more about men. Try the series “Do women know jack about Jack?” listed in the CONTENTS page at blog top.

    Guy

    • Miss Gina

      Lady Lilac,

      I used to believe that I should give to others and not myself and that luxury was not appropriate, also. However, as a Christian (my frame of reference), I came to understand that Jesus told us to love our neighbors *as* ourselves. Loving myself first is implied in that statement. Also implied is that I can love others better when I know how to love myself.

      Coming from a Judeo-Christian perspective, we see Queen Esther, who submitted to six months of beauty treatments on the chance that she might get chosen out of hundreds(?) as the king’s wife. We see Sarah, who was so beautiful that she still had kings wanting her in their harems at 90(!). I think maybe she was using a little makeup and wearing some nice clothes! 😉

      There is something very healing and uplifting to us humans about being around beauty, and God put beauty in all Creation. Interestingly enough, though, man had to work in the garden to make it everything it should be. Likewise, we ladies have to work with what we have to make ourselves all we can be.

      A woman who is beautiful inside and out is–I believe–the pinnacle of God’s creation, and she has great influence to change her world just by being herself. Of course there can be excess, but I think a grateful and giving spirit puts a lid on that.

      Sir Guy just mentioned again not long ago a wonderful short story that illustrates this whole principle called “When Queens Ride By.” It is found easily on the net.

      P.S. — I love your name!

      • Sharon

        Miss Gina,
        You seem to always express solid and encouraging truths to others here. I am especially pondering “there is something very healing and uplifting to us humans about being around beauty.” It is true, whether the beauty be in our surroundings of home (neat, clean, orderly and restful to the spirit) or nature; the music we hear; the clothing we wear; the words we exchange; or the courtesy we extend others, whether familiar friends and family or strangers.

        I have found encouragement in your words.

        Your Highness Sharon,
        Yes, I agree. Women are born to BE good and so they DO good, part of which is recognizing beauty in nature and producing beauty in relationships, home, and family. Men aren’t born that way and don’t get it except as women lead by example in matters of interest unique to females and children. The results of women leading by example generates appreciation in the eyes of men. A deeply appreciated woman is a beautiful woman to her husband.
        Guy

      • Lilac

        Thanks, Miss Gina, for your encouraging words! Yes, I see beauty more and more in my life now!

        • Miss Gina

          Your Highnesses Sharon and Lilac,

          Thank you for your kind words. There aren’t many places such observations are welcomed just now. You encourage me, likewise. 🙂

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