I made a claim for both sexes that should have caused you ladies to raise a ruckus of interrogation. Nothing but silence though. It wasn’t a trick question either but I purposely left it dangling to generate curiosity. None showed up.
The statement was #27 at the end of sex differences listed in 2281. It read: “Both genders are attracted to sexual encounters by the lure of orgasm, which is not the most important part of sex for either sex.”
Were orgasm the primary motivator for both sexes, there would be no need for or practice of competing or negotiating between the sexes. If orgasm drives the sexual bus, it controls all else. The lure would make foreplay and afterplay far less relevant. The sexes would no longer compete and negotiate for sex. Women would give away a major negotiating strength, and that would automatically emphasize physical strength as the prevailing dominant force in society. Women would have too little influence over men for their own well-being, which can easily lead to enslavement.
Therefore, I conclude that God intends, Nature endows, and hormones energize the sexes with another kind, a more important motivator for which orgasm is the reward that encourages each gender to pay the price the other sex requires for each sexual encounter.
Before and after orgasm, men are complex and women simple. I know. It sounds as though it’s reversed. But I’m addressing how they’re motivated and not how they’re satisfied. So bear with me a minute.
Women must pay this price. She must accept his determination to earn self-admiration first by penetration and then by further use of his erection until finished. His determination is raw, his dedication is selfish, and his self-satisfaction would be frustrating if not for orgasmic relief. To her that can be a heavy price especially if her needs are ignored.
His strongest motivation is dynamic penetration often without regard for how she’s affected. Strong, self-proving dominance comes with entry and that urge drives him more determined than any other. Whatever follows is great but not as important as the determination to make that first use of his erection, that first penetration, that burst of masculine energy to get on with it. It energizes the eagerness that women so dislike because they have so little influence with his dynamism.
Men get by with not paying the woman’s price. She’s stirred, not by the promise of orgasm, but by the enjoyment of intimacy before, during, and after sex. Her price is intimacy but men don’t know unless they are taught. Without intimacy, women lose interest in sex with their mate with whom they’re originally designed to enjoy it.
He seeks dynamic penetration, she seeks intimacy. She’s kind of forced to pay his price. He’s not forced to pay her price. So, let’s examine what happens earlier that affects and can teach men to be more intimate, more sexually pleasing to their woman.
- The more he respects her and finds her likeable, the more he loves her, and the more eager he is to please her. It means more willing to pay her price, which likely means he pays more attention to discovering it. Somewhere along the relationship development process he probably learns and tries to be more intimate and for longer and more satisfying periods. It begins with her earning his respect early in their relationship.
- How does she gain more respect? She earns it in courtship by denying conquest until his respect grows enough for him to marry. Men respect toughness, and women are seldom tougher than when denying conquest to a man they love. In the process of his being denied, she has ample opportunity to convey the importance of intimacy to pleasing her.
- During sex he likes himself immensely and perhaps exclusively. He may have learned earlier that any vagina is just a vagina. She may be totally out of his thoughts. How does she change that such that he likes her more and wants more to please her, to pay the price that she expects?
- His love depends on her likeability. She has to make herself more likeable in sexual situations. Hints, lead ins, teasing, luring, rewarding, and otherwise tickling his interest in her as his sexual partner. She never finds fault in him and simultaneously conveys that he’s immensely likeable in bed. It has to include making intimacy likeable to him.
Now ladies, I have tried to reduce a mighty important human event into a simple process designed to show women how to improve their lot in life. I bet this time I stirred some curiosity.