2290. Discernment for Men

I thoroughly enjoy the recent dialogue that prompted Her Highness Cinnamon to request that I address the title subject. I waited to join in and now ignite new fuel selected to more quickly uncover hidden agendas in the marketplace.

Eric, being a man, has made his discernment. He knows what he wants. A woman either fits or doesn’t fit his good taste and judgment. A man of integrity won’t prostitute his character. He will find an efficient way to accomplish his goal.

Women like to dance around. Men are not Baryshnikovs. I suggest something like what follows below tailored to and by the personality and intent of each man.

Whether Eric or someone else, I suggest shock and awe. Otherwise, given social habits today, her attention will never focus enough on him alone for her to learn to believe in him. Without her belief in him, nothing will ever last.

Were it me, I would do the following to many and perhaps every woman worthy of dating. It screens, teaches, and spreads the word about men who know what they want and how to find women with common interest.


Within a minute or three of encountering a woman who seems good enough for me in attractiveness, I would follow my own protocol with this magnificent invitation, this one-way conversation:

“Hello. My name is Guy. I invite you on a very unique date to discuss only this one subject. I intend to marry a woman who appreciates being kept, appreciates home more than career, and appreciates the thought of us raising children together. No answer required now. Here’s my card with reasons why I think you should accept. Just notify me so I can more formally initiate our date—to only discuss that one subject.” Then I walk away.

My business card reads as follows:

I’m through trying to fool women, have them fool me, and otherwise think that Mr. and Miss Right can even exist without spending years together. My devotion and your love could possibly see us to the altar, but that only begins a good life. It takes much work after that and I’m committed to doing so.

  • You think I am crazy. That’s good. It takes a certain craziness to discover good wifely potential in a woman.
  • All your female friends think you’re crazy to even consider my proposal. That’s good too. I intend my wife to pay more attention to me than women.
  • Yes, my entire proposal seems all about me. Where do you fit in? When you determine what you truly want your future life to look like. Not what I sell you but what you sell yourself to yourself. After that, we may find common interest, common sense, and common future.

On our date together, we will converse for one purpose behind that one subject: Decide if we might find enough common interest to have a second date, which may or may not lead to a third.

If interested, just call this phone number, xxx-xxx-xxxx.

No email or text, please. Just oral or face to face. If you accept and call, I will shift into masculine and more formal dating mode and treat you with both the respect and compliments that you deserve as woman and date.

I hope to hear from you soon. You seem very worthy of having a good man of whom you can make better. IOW, were we to ever marry, I would be marrying over my head. It sounds exciting to think of it being you.


IMHO, without shock and awe, hope fades even faster for recovery from confusion and mutual disenchantment between and even among the genders.


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, feminine, sex differences

13 responses to “2290. Discernment for Men

  1. Oxford Fan

    Sir Guy, this is awesome! Any lady worth her weight will jump at the opportunity of going out with a man with such manly determination and vision, and of finding out whether he could be Mr Good-Enough!

  2. That Horse Is Dead

    “Either meet me or call at this phone number.”

    Then the questions begin in my head. Where shall we meet? He didn’t give any instructions. Call him? I don’t usually call men. What’s a discerning woman to do? Shall I wait till I next run into him?

    Your Highness That Horse Is Dead,

    I could say I wanted to leave room for her initiative, but I won’t. I just didn’t proof it well. I’m changing it to:

    If interested, just call this phone number, xxx-xxx-xxxx.


  3. Meow Meow

    I would think that behavior is charming and edgy…brave, so intriguing!

  4. My Husband's Wife

    This is so good, I love it! Brilliant! It sets forth his standards right up front and raises the bar for everyone, calling the woman to think about her purpose/goal of dating and what sort of man she wants in her life. This would really help weed out many of the “hybrid” women who appear feminine (by words and looks), but aren’t actually that feminine on the inside.
    In addition, this would really distinguish a man from 98% of the others out there so that a woman would find him intriguing.

    On a personal note: Even if I didn’t initially find the man physically attractive, just hearing those words would leave me wanting to find out more—and if not accepting of the offer, I would be thinking about him and the ideas he put forth. And, if not taking him up on the offer and I remained single years later, I might still “wonder” about him and the “what-ifs”! I think this method would be THAT powerful. Something Women Never Hear. Shock and awe indeed. I would be in awe, not knowing what hit me.

    And this, I believe, is key: “Without her belief in him, nothing will ever last.”
    This belief in him gives her the drive/motivation to weather the relationship storms. A woman has no business being with a man she doesn’t believe in. When I look at unhappy relationships, 99% of the women don’t believe in their man. She might have picked a dud or she’s just not interested in connecting their lives together wanting him to do all the relationship heavy lifting. And if you look at relationships where you scratch your head and wonder why they get along so great, look at the wife—she most likely believes in him and supports his mission in life—you can see it in her face when she’s around him. She delights in him.

    I, too, have been really enjoying this whole discussion in the comment section. A lot of new nuances have been uncovered in the way men/women are different and interact with each other.

  5. SouthernBelle

    Love the directness and honesty! Would be so refreshing to have a man step up with such fortitude.

  6. MissBlackbird

    I love this.

  7. Eric

    Sir Guy:
    Great article, and some good advice. I don’t think women get challenged enough by men, in the right kind of way.

    “Being a man, he has made his discernment. He knows what he wants. A woman either fits or doesn’t fit his good judgement. A man of integrity won’t prostitute his character.”

    Thank you for saying that. Since this blog is geared toward women, a lot are probably unaware that pop culture teaches MEN exactly the opposite of this. Especially male feminists. Male feminists tell men all the time that they have ‘unrealistic expectations’; that our standards are too high, and that’s wrong for men even to have expectations of women. (Frankly, though, if I were a woman and my man was going around bragging that he won me by lowering his standards and not expecting anything from me: I think I’d change men quickly. But we ARE talking about feminists here, so we can’t expect a normal response LOL).

  8. I absolutely LOVE this!!!!! I wish this was the norm for men to do. It would separate the men from the boys. But, alas it isn’t. What would be the female equivalent to this? I tend to be a straight forward person. And, as I reach my late 20’s I am not interested in wasting my time at all. What could us women do? give out a card like this? What would it say?

    Your Highness Jai300,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    Good questions. I’ll work on it. I’ll also stick with shock and awe; men need that too or they won’t truly pay attention.


    • Kristiane

      Great question Lady jai300,
      I am eagerly awaiting for the article.

      • Sandy

        Yes yes, I’m also very intrigue with guys respond and Lady jai300 asked great questions. As I’m in my mid 20s and I too don’t want to play games and waste my time.

  9. Sandy

    Love It!!…a decisive man that knows what he wants and is looking for. Not playing games or being indecisive which I dislike. What I would do is give him my number instead (because I don’t like calling a man and setting up a date I would prefer him doing it) and tell him that I too have great things to offer in return, but that I will unveil during a serious courtship :). If interested he should call me 😁.

    Your Highness Sandy,
    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

  10. MLaRowe

    When I was 16 I had a very nice boyfriend. He treated me very well, respected the fact that although he wanted to have sex I planned to stay a virgin until I married. He was a senior and I was a junior in high school. One day in a conversation he mentioned marriage after we were done with college.

    I felt like I couldn’t breathe and I ended the relationship soon afterward even though it was almost prom time (and in my high school world that was a very big deal). Although I was sad for a few days I realized it was the right thing to do.

    He ended up marrying the next woman he dated (I hope they are happy and still together because they were both nice people who deserve that).

    I think this blog is great. I can’t say enough good stuff about you and all you have taught me— but I think that a man has to be careful with his choice of words to a woman.

    Maybe I’m missing the point and sure I would not like the game playing either if I was in the dating world.

    Still, even in nature there is posturing and a time for the male to do his dance (or show off his woodworking skills or whatever his talents are) to impress a female.

    There is a need for a certain amount of courtship ritual and a blunt assumption that a woman is ready to consider marriage right after meeting sounds a bit scary to me.

    Your Highness MLaRowe,

    You could not be more right about the time for “the male to do his dance….” But a couple can make plenty of time for that after they agree for a second date.

    Good women have the same discernment problem. Today’s article 2292 provides a similar strategy and tactic for women who seek marriage and family.


  11. Shermy

    How can I will this to happen to me lol

    Your Highness Shermy,
    Good objective. I can only suggest that you take charge and generate it yourself. Post 2292 describes how a woman can effectively do the same thing, but it does require more courage than most women possess. It should work the same between the sexes without displacing the man as the leader. It’s just that you give each man of interest choices instead of his relying on his own. Also, it sure makes the lady a helluva lot more unique aka virtuous than the others that men encounter.

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