2291. Mr. Right Finally Shows Up—Part C


This summary reinforces articles 1289 and 1290 that date from May 2011 and which describe the arrival of Mr. Right. Many readers are familiar, but this review might trigger interest of non-regulars.

Any man considers himself to be Mr. Right for any woman of high interest. It’s his nature. He may not feel adequate or worthy, but he won’t let on. He figures he can weave his way into her heart simply because he wants her badly enough. Ergo, he claims to be her Mr. Right.

Single women are seldom more foolish than to admit a guy as her Mr. Right. It makes her do dumb things, such as poor screening and testing for his worthiness. Only a good woman can make a Mr. Right, and she does it her way, over time, and as described below.

A potentially good man marries over his head. He becomes a better man after living for years with a good woman. She who continually seeks to brighten her future by becoming a better person, conscientious wife, good mother, and grateful granny. She does all that by seeking to do good to prove to herself that she is both good and vitally important to those with whom she lives. By just doing good, she becomes good, just as she was born to be.

In that process, to the extent that he admires her as person and woman more even than wife, husband absorbs the same spirit and extends himself where he never plans or previously thought to go. Without applying pressure, she expects him to do good and he learns to do so; he was born capable but not incentivized to do good. To admire and satisfy himself for pleasing her, he morphs himself into what she wants to see so long as it appears he has done nothing contrary to his self-image of a strong man.

If her man anticipates he will be expected to change that way, his proposal might just vaporize without marriage. It’s not in his natural interest to do or be good without sufficient reason. That’s where the good wife comes in but he’s neither interested nor aware.

In fact he resists change for anyone. Until, that is, he sees and learns that wife is such an admirable woman that he does not mind following her lead on matters that represent good instead of bad. Life with her is just good, so long as he does not have to face the fact that he changed or is changing or he’s being led by a nose ring.

He just accepts her as she is and will forever be to him: good, nice, pleasant, fun, and he especially likes himself when she’s around. Consequently, he comports himself with her spirit of how to live well together. Marriage just is and she likes it her way so it’s okay with him.

Plan on a couple of decades for all that to happen, for him to morph so pleasantly and pleasingly that he earns the epithet of Mr. Right.

He doesn’t get there by her trying to convert him. He gets there by her being a better person, woman, girl, wife, mother, friend, flirt, lay, teaser, and patient loser of submission arguments in order to take advantage of her submissive spirit and get her way in the end.

She gets to brighten their future by allowing him to dominate under his conviction that he is brightening the present for them. Best pictured as: She learns to rule the rooster by allowing him to rule the roost.

Thus, over the years Mr. Good Enough becomes Mr. Right. A knowledgeable woman follows and exploits her inborn nature well enough to mix it up with a man she purposely chose because of his character and potential rather than his looks or mere existence. It’s pleasant to think she was a steady reader of this blog, but we know better. (See P.S.)

——

P.S. You just read how women over the centuries learned to perpetuate marriage as the ideal institution for child development, turned Western civilization away from female enslavement, and converted two male-dominated religions into the female-dominated Judeo-Christian American culture. Life is good when women assiduously follow their natures as they are born and help their men shape society with female-friendly values, standards, and expectations. Peacefulness, morality, and relationship harmony are the work of woman, but first they must avoid blame and add peace to the masculine heart for it’s not inherited at birth.

P.P.S. We can’t ignore this important point. Outside the home Mr. Right can, might, and probably is an entirely different person and man. Outside he has to compete to hold his own or better himself among men. Inside his castle he cooperates because wife enables him to earn self-admiration and self-satisfaction by running the castle his way—or so it appears to him.

2 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, How she wins

2 responses to “2291. Mr. Right Finally Shows Up—Part C

  1. Sharon

    Sir Guy, after many years of marriage, I can personally attest to the truths you are presenting here! Specifically, “plan on a couple of decades for that to happen . . .” A husband and wife will BOTH grow, over time, as they stay together. TIME is needed as they work through EVERYTHING – the misunderstandings that arise (even as early as the honeymoon!), the “heavy-duty” child-rearing years, the trauma of varied life changes and external, uncontrollable events throughout the years.

    “In that process . . . husband absorbs the same spirit he extends himself where he never plans or previously thought to go. . . .he was born capable, but not incentivized to do good.” In our feminist-barraged age, a man is likely to be labeled “selfish” (and worse) for stretching out on the couch after supper, while his wife cleans up the kitchen — even though he’s been working all day in the “marketplace” with its attendant stresses, in order to provide for his family. For us, that phase is past, and I continue to see my husband’s increased giving of himself for the good of others. I am not saying there were NO acts of goodness before. He is now simply FREER of cares and time constraints.

    As I read your paragraph that begins, “He doesn’t get there by her trying to convert him . . .” I believe it is a wise pattern. It’s part of her “proving to herself that she is both good and vitally important to those with whom she lives.” A wife’s contentment, loving behaviors, and God’s mercies, will bless a couple’s interactions and deepen their commitment to each other, and in turn, result in increased outward acts of goodness toward others.

    Your Highness Sharon,

    You give me an opportunity to repeat a major sex difference that women don’t want to acknowledge.

    • Men are born to be satisfied, which they achieve daily on the job. Then they go into R&R mode. They prepare that way in order to find satisfaction when they fight the dragon tomorrow.

    • Women are born to be happy and to help that by brightening their future. So, they work almost endlessly because they want to be prepared for tomorrow before it arrives. They become good by doing better and vice versa.

    Envy and jealousy over the difference quickly spoils a relationship.

    Your post reflects great wisdom. Thanks.

    Guy

  2. Meow Meow

    One of my favorite and happiest of your posts. Girls and women naturally want to be happy and DO happy! Men do want/expect marriage to be easy—at least most of the time. Hardships and drama will come our way without even trying! I am quietly trying to lay the groundwork for a happier, more peaceful old age. It helps if you were both relatively positive people to start with, a great reason for ladies to believe that more or less, who he appears to be is who you get, so marry someone who both attracts you and is upbeat otherwise you will have a heavy burden to shoulder later on. Hard times may change you, but at least you have happy memories to build on and return to, to hold in your hearts and heads as your true and positive nature. When i was younger I actually found the dynamism of anger and grumpiness attractive—now i’m really impressed by a song in the heart as it has become far more rare! Two different kinds of dynamism. My daughter likes boys who are ‘Funny”/have a quiet sense of humor and always has. I think thats a good starting point!

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