2298. Preventive Relationship Maintenance — Guy’s PRiM: 1-10


Motto: PRiM is very proper, ‘cause he doesn’t drop her.

  1. You are entitled to a dignified role within the relationship, family, and home. Insist on it early; don’t let it creep away from you. Dignity enhances respect, which is essential for man to love woman.
  2. Eliminate blame from the home and family. Chop off that pointy finger. It erects defensive barriers and stirs relationship competition that men intend to always win. Also, the receiver of blame immediately dislikes the finger owner regardless of accuracy or what’s deserved.
  3. Eliminate bitterness wherever it appears in your home. Don’t allow it to persist or grow, especially in yourself. It stinks up the family atmosphere and ultimately produces the same effects as blame except it works slower and is more deadly for both marriage and family.
  4. First thing every day get control of yourself and your life before you encounter family who is up and about. Mirror time starting at post 2123 describes the best way to do it. If you don’t “own” yourself and control your role in your world, you won’t be able to manage both your day and those you should to your or their satisfaction.
  5. Sour leaders beget sour followers. Look endlessly for ways to be grateful for yourself first, mate second, and others third. Gratefulness is the essence of your happiness, and that is the essence of the happiness of females and satisfaction of males in your immediate family.
  6. If you’re not the family’s model for giving, taking will become habitual for most other family members.
  7. Raise your daughters so that father is extremely proud of them. Pristine behavior and strong character are the traits most admired by fathers.
  8. Treat him as if he’s more intelligent than you. It’s ego-stroking that he needs. But he can easily persuade himself that you have the superior brainpower when he doesn’t have to face that fact directly.
  9. Demand nothing of anyone (except over safety issues with children). You’re wonderfully prepared to influence others with feminine charm, persuasion, and patience—to demand belittles you as lacking personal calmness, influence, and conviction that you expect others to heed you.
  10. The softer your voice, the better everyone listens. The better they listen, the better they hear. They better they hear, the better you get your way.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, How she wins, sex differences

4 responses to “2298. Preventive Relationship Maintenance — Guy’s PRiM: 1-10

  1. Etu

    Sir Guy, how does #8 work pre-marriage? I am talking to a guy with less education than me (although he gets the one up with age and some other things)…his technical hobbies are above my head and i have told him so when he tries to explain them to me and I tell him I can support him but can’t understand the ins and outs. I get the impression he gets a kick out of this but has not abused that. I don’t try to compete with him over head knowledge that is for sure. Trusting him goes a long way with this. I have a feeling he would say I am smarter because of having more ed as he is a bit deferential and times but still…we can meet at the same level with our common beliefs. I want him to know I think he’s smarter without coming off like a faker who feels sorry…I don’t!

    Your Highness Etu,
    It works the same anytime. You’re making it work for you, it seems. That’s the name of the game. Morph yourselves into one ‘us’.

  2. meo4jc@gmail.com

    This is a gem! Sir Guy. You are such a blessing.
    Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld from Glo Mobile.

    Your Highness Meo4jc,
    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

  3. Bitterness is my problem, but I’m working on it. I read this quote today, and I think it’s great: “Bitterness is a poison that kills you while you’re waiting for the other person to die.” How about that! It’s so funny, yet also a serious warning. Bitterness hurts the bitter person more than the one who is the object of that bitterness. This is why I was absent for a while — too bitter at Husband to want to improve myself as a wife. (Also, it was while a lot of posts were for pre-marriage, which is very important to address, but wasn’t for me). I like what you’ve said about raising daughters. I should have realized this and seen to it when my adult daughters were still home. I still have one teenage daughter. Never too late.

    Your Highness Sharonwithmaryandmartha,

    I’m pretty sure you’re already on this track, but let me reinforce your correct actions. First, you must forgive yourself. Whatever contribution you made or whatever you deserved and didn’t get, God forgives you so you only have to follow suit. HE has said you deserve forgiveness if you but ask.

    Second, you should forgive the offender. Tough, right? That’s why God made women so tough. They have what it takes to do anything and everything that brightens their future. Everyone knows women can’t forget offenses. But God also gave you the ability to not use what you’ve forgiven anytime in the future to make either the offender worse or yourself feel better. That has the effect of you also forgetting, and it fits your nature just at the perfect time that you need it.


  4. Cocoa

    Sir Guy, this is gold and with some diamonds too #s 6, 7&9.
    Thank you!

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