2313 — Desperate Females

Some Other Guy at 2311 hits it out of the park. Men are attracted to “pleasant feminine energy.” Girls especially should pay attention to what follows.

Let’s presume a couple meets. This principle governs the interaction of two people. What he figures out about her goes into his heart. What she tells him about herself only goes into his mind. Just as women do, men follow their heart first. There is, however, a sex difference. What he tells her about himself can find its way into her heart, although it depends on the whole picture she develops of who and what he means to and for her.

There are two kinds of feminine energy and one isn’t so pleasant. One works and the other doesn’t. I’m speaking, of course, against female behavior that comes across that she’s desperate to have a boyfriend.

The following are signs of female desperation that kill rather than earn a man’s respect or hold his attention after conquest.

  1. She seeks to lead the encounter with her words and seemingly wants to make the end results of their dialogue turn out her way.
  2. She talks mostly to describe her value. She tries with words and actions to prove her worth and what she can add to his life.
  3. She doesn’t act natural within her personality. She tries too hard and comes across as uncomfortable with herself, which doesn’t earn any respect and perhaps the opposite.
  4. She may act as if she’s listening to him, but she doesn’t truly hear what he says. As she listens, her mind is calculating how she can respond to win his continued attention and, hopefully, affection. It’s self-defeating but she doesn’t know it. Desperation consumes her earnestness.
  5. She overdoes whatever the situation calls for and appears to have some level of phoniness about her. Overdoing things crushes the appearance of sincerity.
  6. She shows an evident lack of sincerity that kills trust, which means that a guy’s respect does not develop.
  7. In short, he gets to figure out nothing about her except negatives, such as she’s boring, insincere, and not for his continued interest except for bedtime.
  8. If he’s a player, he says only enough to keep her talking herself right into his bed. If he’s the Marrying Man, he finds someone else.

These signs of her sincerity and his behaviors combine to add the “pleasantness” to feminine energy.

a. She enthuses him to continue talking to her, mostly all about himself. It enables her to uncover his interests, habits, and ways of thinking.

b. She doesn’t talk up her worthiness or how she can benefit him. Instead, she encourages his talking that brings out his character and personality and his good fortune that they add so much value to his persona and manliness.

c. His figuring out who and what she is in terms of worthiness to him gives him a sense of accomplishment followed by self-satisfaction. What he figures out goes to his heart as conviction that transmutes into belief for his future dealing with her.

d. He measures her worth by how sincerely interested she is and how attentively and appreciatively she follows his describing who he is and what he does. How she listens to him is a cardinal virtue when a man considers husbanding for a woman. When she proves it at first encounter and his conviction forms that she’s a sincere and interested listener for him, it brightens their future together.

e. While he does most of the talking, from feedback he figures out her character and specific qualities. Each that he admires becomes a virtue, and men want to marry a virtuous woman. So, the more he figures out, the more appealing and ultimately fascinating she becomes. It all develops in his heart from how she responds to his describing who he is and what he does.

In the course of their dialogue, each has a prime motivation.

  • She seeks to make herself important to him. Desperate women think they can do it with their words and proclaimed intention to please him forevermore. Smart women follow their nature. They make themselves important by enabling him to please himself talking about himself.
  • He’s seeks to conquer her. Rather than allowing him to pry into her and her life as the way to get her into bed, she defeats him with charming but not turn-off resistance. Examples: He mentions sex, she changes the subject to marriage. He inquires about her sexual status, practice, or past. She responds smilingly with “I don’t know you well enough,” or “It’s none of your business. Let’s change the subject.” Of course, each woman should have many ready-to-use responses that fit her own personality and determination. Her responses shouldn’t turn guys off but keep their interest up. She only diverts his interest temporarily, because his urge to conquer is always being figured out in the back of his mind.

Desperate women face desperate times during every encounter with a potential boyfriend. The cause of desperation starts with a woman’s belief that a boyfriend/husband will solve her problems. But what’s her problem? Loneliness? Keeping up with other women? Convinced she deserves better than she’s got?

The best recovery from those problems is greater belief in herself as deserving person, good woman, and potential mate. That will come with deeper study and understanding of what’s in this blog about the worth of the superior sex.


Filed under courtship, feminine, Fickle female, How she loses, How she wins, sex difference

13 responses to “2313 — Desperate Females

  1. Sarina

    Nice post. Especially being careful with answers. Turning-off happens quite often, because there’s an urge to be argumentative and put him in his place..I honestly don’t want to turn into a teacher and scold, that’s also a huge problem with women who turn very abrasive when upset.

    Sir Guy or any other guy, could someone reveal to me what does a man think when women are fighting with each other over men? Things can get pretty verbally abusive since women love to hate on each other, so what do men conclude about women that are insulting and petty arguing over a a man?

    Your Highness Sarina,
    They are acting like men. Hence, they lose their femininity, which costs them a lot in attractiveness and probably other things too.

    • Eric

      Miss Sarina:
      I think that it depends on how deeply a woman is involved with man. I agree with Sir Guy here that fighting over men is unfeminine. However, if a woman’s involved long-term with a man, it’s different if she’s being defensive.

  2. surfercajun

    I don’t know why, but I have always enjoyed listening to men talk. Whether it was my father, simply standing in line with them, interacting for directions (be it grocery items or help). It never fails to make me smile listening to the stories of their lives. 🙂

    Your Highness Surfercajun,
    Then you’ve probably never been desperate to have a boyfriend or other kind of man.

    • Cinnamon

      Sir Guy,

      I am fascinated by your rather enigmatic comment. What is the link between someone who is “desperate to have a boyfriend” but at the same time doesn’t enjoy listening to men?

      Your Highness Cinnamon,

      If she enjoys listening, she does not have much trouble having guys pay attention to her. She seeks what she wants and enjoys. Lots of manly attention prevents a sense of desperation, because hope sticks with her.

      The link between desperate and not enjoy listening is her low self-image and low self-respect that guide her to the mistaken conviction that she deserves what she does not have to earn. IOW, she fools herself by what she lacks instead of focusing on what she wants. Hope fades easily and desperation is the result.


      • surfercajun

        LOL oh man…

        This seems to remind me of a few years back when my daughter (late teens) and I went grocery shopping. We kept bumping into this rather pleasant fellow about every other isle. Well, the last isle she disappeared.(ran off to coo at a baby) I was still looking for her when a voice to my right stated, “She is over there.” It was the same pleasant fellow we had been bumping into. Surprised, I only remarked, “Thanks!” with a smile. As we were finishing up, lo and behold…who do we see at the checkout… Mr. Pleasant himself. So we wheeled our cart over and said the usual, “Hey, I know you!” My daughter the ever social butterfly, joyfully joked and had him laughing… a few times she had me blushing by her over flirty ways in which he would look at me and grin. As he left with his groceries she called out,” Let’s do this again next week!” Which he shot back over his shoulder, “You got it!” As she and the cashier stood laughing, I bowed my head as my face became warm like ice cream on hot cobbler which had me wondering, was I ever THAT flirty?

        Yeah, I know this has NOTHING to do with listening but it is such a good lightheart story! 🙂 Aren’t men wonderful?

  3. Shermy

    GREAT article!

  4. That Horse Is Dead

    Sir Guy,

    Regarding #5 “She talks mostly to describe her value. She tries with words and actions to prove her worth and what she can add to his life,” — if a man of interest inquires about her work, how should she handle this if it’s in a field that could potentially help his business? I do freelance work and I find my field is beneficial to most men who own a business. It never fails that some of these men want me to “help” them as they get to know me better (and I really do try not to take the conversation in a work-related direction). Recently I went out with a man several times for lunch dates where he paid, and then he asked me to do freelance work for him. I’m assuming he would not do this if he thought of me as a romantic interest. But, I’m also assuming he would not do this if he saw me as desperate or untrustworthy. What to think or do in these situations?

    Your Highness That Horse Is Dead,

    #5 describes a gal who can’t hold herself in trying to impress a guy. You don’t do that, at least not in what you described. You work it well and professionally. Just as men appreciate it.

    However, you say, “I’m assuming he would not do this if he thought of me as a romantic interest.” Don’t be so quick to assume that. He could be interested both ways and it may be months or longer before you know which is which. Don’t get your hopes up as you go along either. Just play it professionally until he makes the first, second, third, and subsequent moves, if he ever does. If he doesn’t, it’s strictly business and up to you to keep it that way.


  5. surfercajun

    The way she listen was more eloquent than speech.
    ~The 1944 movie Laura

    Great movie with acid tongue Clinton Webb 🙂

    Your Highness Surfercajun,
    I’m lost. what’s does this refer to? Yes, good flick, but…?

    • surfercajun

      Oh ((blush)) I thought it might tie in with your comment to me?

      My bad! ((grin))

      Your Highness Surfercajun,
      I get it, darling, my Laura. It’s a valuable and incentivizing quote that I’d forgotten from last viewing the flick. Thanks for reminding me. I’ll find a way to use it and I thank you for such a great input.

      • surfercajun

        Oh, wow!


        Appreciate the suggestion that I listen more than speak….the line seem to say it all as a reminder.

        I would much rather listen to a man’s wisdom about his life and helping others… especially when I find him or his voice devastatingly and utterly fascinating to listen to. I find him to be like deep water, and his soul boundless. Even his worries untethered by life. It is not that he does not have them, he just easily maneuvers through it like a canoe being rowed on placid water…… 🙂

        Your Highness Surfercajun,

        You concluded different than I intended. That old lack of clarity again.

        In your conclusion, “Appreciate the suggestion that I listen more than speak….the line seem to say it all as a reminder.” Change the word “more” to “better”


  6. msarianne

    Great article! Worth reading again and again to stay ahead in this dating game. ☺

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s