Her Highness Cinnamon at 2319 spurred me to clearer thinking, which enabled me to better describe the interrelationship model built with five terms vital to becoming a successful couple or mates.
Note this. I describe how their inborn natures motivate men and women to interact as a compatible and successful couple. People are not always loyal to their own nature. When they are motivated that way, to act as very masculine men and very feminine women, they fit together within this model.
Likeability — Think of likeability as the sub-flooring in a successful couple’s relationship; it enables and supports whatever compatibility develops. It may or may not include love by or of either or both. They might just be good friends.
- Her likeability equals all those things about her that attract and keep a man’s most important self-interests compatibly tied to her self-interests. It prompts him to be with her and want her around for many of his endeavors.
- His likeability equals all those things about him that attract and keep her most important self-interests compatibly tied to his self-interests. It prompts her curiosity and imagination to explore how they can enjoy more togetherness.
Loyalty — Loyalty is the breeding ground for exclusive attachment.
- His loyalty arises out of conviction that she’s so precious in his sight and mind that he—without conscious pledging—kind of backs into putting her first among others and likes himself for doing so. Being faithful is not a conscious pledge to self but depends on his previously developed conscience. IOW, he’s not going to overextend himself as exclusively faithful without other reasons that depend on her avoidance of conquest. It’s out of her multiple refusals that he determines risk about the likelihood of her being faithful to him.
- Her loyalty arises out of conviction that he’s good enough to mate with. He’s good enough and close enough to being Mr. Right that she can finish the job over their future together. She’s anxious to be both emotionally and physically faithful, as it is to her the glue that will guarantee lifetime togetherness.
Devotion — True devotion automatically brings exclusivity.
- His devotion equals her likeability + his loyalty to her. The evidence shows up in his actions that please him by pleasing her.
- Her devotion equals his likeability + her loyalty to him. The evidence shows up in the multitude of words and ways she uses to convince him that she can be his exclusively.
Love — A woman’s ability to love can be her downfall if she misuses it. Energizing a man’s ability to love poses the most difficult challenge for women.
- Her love equals her devotion + self-love and her ability to share it. She knows her love is intense and true. She can both capture and hold him forever. Excess eagerness to expedite and make her devotion work for her, however, disrupts her common sense. Impatience appears as desperation. Overdoing things makes her tiresome. Constantly milking him for attention and affection becomes childish. All of which weaken her likeability and discourage his loyalty.
- His love equals his devotion + her devotion. That is, devotion reciprocated. In spite of her pledges of love and promises about his future improving with her alongside, his questioning about her devotion doesn’t end until he’s convinced he’s likely to always be the only one for her. His nature tells him he’s both qualified and the most eligible for her. And that doesn’t happen until he sees and confirms her devotion through her actions. Her words do not convince but they may help by keeping his morale uplifted when around her.
For the most part, sexual relations are a sideline and adjacent to the model. However, the issue of conquest lurks in background and shows up in foreground. The level of his loyalty for life depends on how she handles the conquest issue.
Her continuous delays in yielding enable his loyalty to grow from trying ever harder to bed her. In the process of trying, he uncovers more and more of her virtues, those qualities that he admires, which make her worth more, and which enhance his loyalty.
Her yielding stops the growth of his loyalty. He has whatever it took and that’s all he needs to know about her. He need try no harder to conquer. He has proven himself capable. The lack of finding out more about her keeps his loyalty and her likeability from growing very much or as fast as before conquest. Or, his loyalty may collapse. There’s no way of telling until it happens either. That’s why a man’s ability to love poses the most difficult challenge for women. His loyalty is an unknown until after conquest.
Conquest triggers an on-off switch. His nature makes him free. He’s hardwired to pursue someone else with his primary, unique, and polarized sex drive to conquer attractive women. It’s decision time and she turns out to be either keeper, booty, or dumpee. Being a keeper depends on the loyalty she earns before conquest, which is a reflection of the respect she earns by keeping her legs crossed in spite of his pleadings and pressure versus her resistance; no ring, no booty.
It’s still two conquerors facing off. He seeks sex without obligation. Her nature alerts her to seek marriage before yielding sex. Time associating with a man, her patience, and her refusal to yield are the ingredients that bring about a compatible relationship that lasts. Men may be dominant, insistent, and even obnoxious about it. But conquest is in the hands of a woman, and the model above is aligned with their inborn natures.