Probably, from all the silence in the comment section, you ladies are disappointed with yesterday’s post, 2322 Likeability, Loyalty, Devotion, Love, and Conquest. It reduces female concepts of love and affection to logical and reasoned analysis. Not exactly your game.
It’s overload for gals. So, allow me to describe some lessons that can be learned from it.
- A man’s love is basically friendship with these added attractions that are available only with the opposite sex.
- The female ability to provide a pleasurably successful life; it’s her promise that he sees to justify his proposal of marriage. (Male friends can offer no such promise.)
- The female willingness to believe in him as a person, believe in his sense of responsibility as a man, and believe in his achievements in various roles of life. Her beliefs motivate her, so if she doesn’t truly believe, she can’t be sincerely appreciative. If her beliefs about him are weak, she can strengthen them by acting as if she believes. Actions reshape emotions. (She can believe based on respect and trust, which male friends can’t because they are competitors.)
- The female desire to intensify her man’s emotional involvement so he will more easily provide intimacy and in other ways confirm her sense of importance. Her behavior to intensify his emotions with special pleasures amplifies her gratitude and conveys her admiration. Example: Eager to respond to his invitations for sex. Eager to fix his favorite dish.
- The female primal urge to depend on her man as very valuable for who he is and what he does. She thus confirms his sense of responsibility as correct, worthy, and significant.
- The female expectation to make him a better man by improving on the one she chose to live with. For fear of associating with a loser, which signifies that she failed and is therefore unimportant, she has to improve him to prevent it.
- The female drive to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones. It energizes her to build and operate his castle, take infant- and child-care out of his hands, and provide a loving body to warm his bed.
- The female need of a brighter future energizes her. It urges her to cooperate or collaborate with him in financial matters and future plans.
- The female fear of abandonment inspires her. She protects herself by protecting him against his greatest fear. She sees to it that his sense of significance does not fade but, instead, is built up.
- The female conviction that she is pretty. It pushes her to use her prettiness as foundation for making and keeping herself fixed up to please his eyes.
- Men naturally have and keep deep emotional involvement with their responsibility, duty, job, and for whomever and whatever they feel responsible. Men first marry responsibility and then marry a woman. If not, he’s not dependable as a mate. Responsibility has first dibs on a man’s loyalty and his major role in life. As the primary seed, it brings forth his accomplishments.
- Men enter a relationship first as a friend. Friendship grows in parallel with his developing sense of her promise for his future. When he witnesses her devotion being reciprocated and becomes convinced that she intends to be always faithful, he releases* himself to love her. His behavior shifts into auto pilot pleasing himself by pleasing her. It’s masculine love. *(Prior to releasing himself to love a woman, he’s cautious for fear of being made a fool or worse by being surprisingly dumped.)
- Unfortunately, conquest can interrupt that relationship-building process and either interfere or stop development. You never know until it happens, but it depends on how intensely he has learned to respect her as person, woman, and regarding fulfillment of her various roles in life. Without huge respect, he’s soon gone.
- Once he’s truly in love, the mixture of her promise as mate and sexual desire—if she’s unconquered by him—confirm that she’s worthy to become his responsibility. So, he proposes.
- What he works for to earn self-admiration, he appreciates. What’s given to him he doesn’t appreciate as men expect to make do for themselves, until they find the right woman to help out. They just don’t appreciate what they don’t earn. It’s a primary reason that conquest too early comes across as unearned. Unfortunately for women, only God and the Shadow know what’s too early.
As I uncover more lessons to be learned, I will return to the subject.