2324. Women Can Lead or Provide Unobligated Sex, Not Both — II

One masculine instinct initiates male-female turmoil. The predominant side of male sex drive serves as the crown of the dominant sex. Women accept without understanding it. Consequently, they don’t handle men very successfully in order to promote and protect female self-interest.

Her Highness Surfercajun at 2323 inquired, “What makes an unfaithful man?” Simple answer: The way he’s designed, produced and energized to live. IOW, the male nature.

As a hunter-conqueror he’s hardwired with a highly unique and primal urge to conquer every attractive female that he encounters and even dreams of some unmet. His urge activates at sight. Conquer so he can move on to another target. The cheaper and easier the conquests, however, the more the genders grow polarized as permanent combatants rather than unmarried competitors followed by cooperative mating.

The naturally equivalent primal urge is woman’s dedication to fulfill her female hopes and dreams, which usually means to mate with a good man for life. She dedicates herself to enhancing her future; no instantaneous decisions for her.

The behavior of modern women promotes the interests of the dominant while demoting the interests of the superior gender. It worsens their subjection by males and virtually eliminates their ability to achieve their childhood hopes and dreams. As the result, girls who naturally dream big grow into women who specialize in disappointment, loneliness, or hopelessness even though they may have married.

It need not be that way. Certain conditions coax and coach the majority of men to be faithful as happened before the 1960s and the cultural and sexual revolutions. It’s old school, but unified womanhood worked this way. Women shape cultural values and standards to generate mutual gender respect, shame cheaters and betrayers of females, train boys to honor expectations about female hopes and dreams, domesticate men individually to honor with fidelity those they respect, and uplift the male gender as highly valuable. Womanhood was helped along as real manliness developed into requiring men to associate with others of their ilk; those of similar development who also bought into being faithful.

Men tend to be faithful according to how well women coax, coach, and convince their man with hero worship. The higher she promotes what he does and who he is as hero-worthy to her, then the higher his sense of significance and the tighter it squeezes his conscience to remain honorable to her.

Provided he respects her and his conscience has not been scorched, what kind of person betrays someone who honors them as hero? His love adds luster to her resolve and admiration, disrupts his thinking about other women, smoothly reorients his thinking toward the future with her, and so he doesn’t cheat. His temptations are not removed. They are dulled sufficiently to make his conscience fool-proof.

Women, as the superior gender, are capable of standardizing their behavior in support of common values, standards, and expectations that promote female friendliness and minimizes male dominance. If women don’t, male dominance subjects females to treatment as a lower and controllable class.

Women blame men for the male-female turmoil. And, the root is male nature. But, women are not members of the superior gender for nothing. They can help themselves to a better life, but to do so they have to master the better handling of men as our foremothers learned to do.

It starts with one idea: Women make men obligate themselves and yield some independence in order to earn a woman’s greatest gift—first sex with her, and nothing else works.

The crux is conquest, not the lure of sex. The greater his conquering accomplishment registers within him, the greater his self-admiration, satisfaction with his achievement, and significance as a man. Her yielding only after he exhausts all his manly skill, intimate talent, and emotional legerdemain convinces him that he must be her hero. (Her giving it away guarantees something close to the opposite effect; men do not appreciate unearned gifts nor the givers. They are doers, achievers.)

He sees their relationship this way. Earning her ‘gift’ entitles him to ‘own’ her and their sexual agenda and qualifies him to dominate their future. It’s his hardener part of the epoxy that will keep them together.

But she’s the resin side of the epoxy. When a woman makes conquest a man’s greatest achievement in his life, she practically ‘owns’ him, because she perfected the art of handling him in ways that he loves her for it. After that, she need only tug gently to get her way. Their two-part epoxy seals them together for fulfilling her childhood hopes and dreams.

The next subject is male-female friendship. Can it succeed without sexual connection?


Filed under courtship, feminine, old school, sex differences

15 responses to “2324. Women Can Lead or Provide Unobligated Sex, Not Both — II

  1. “Men tend to be faithful according to how well women coax, coach, and convince their man with hero worship. The higher she promotes what he does and who he is as hero-worthy to her, then the higher his sense of significance and the tighter it squeezes his conscience to remain honorable to her.”

    Ahhh, now this was just lovely. I refer to that as calling men to their higher selves. Perhaps some men can find their higher selves without women, but it isn’t nearly as much fun. Conversely, men really bring out the best in women. There is a symbiosis to our design that is just delightful. It’s such a shame that the modern world has strayed so far from these ideals because they are truly what makes us the happiest, what brings us the most joy. Little girls, before the world gets a hold of them, dream of finding a hero and little boys dream of being one. He is zipping around with his sword and cape quite instinctively while she is dressing barbies and building a castle. Not that those gender roles don’t ever cross and merge, it’s simply that they are the very foundation of romance. We can’t take away a little boys sword and force her to play with blocks and than lament, “where has all the romance gone?”

    Your Highness Insanitybytes22,
    Wow! I love it when pretty women write so beautifully and clearly. You uplifted my day. Not a dreary one but you uplifted it anyway. Thanks.

  2. Sarina

    Nowadays things are backwards. Women are pursuers and Sir Guy, tragically I have to say that girls are more perverted than in previous years. And there’s a constant push to promote debauchery in women. However, I’m still shocked by the nasty words some men use against women. I could never talk about a human being like that, but when men talk amongst themselves, the vile anti-women language is prevalent; it becomes hard to think highly of men when you know their disturbing views about women.

    Your Highness Sarina,
    Men use vile language because women tolerate it, which means they lose masculine respect, which means that males find new challenges to make up for unchallengeable women, which means that women either join the male-dominated way or get left out—–but only until men discover that women have little or no use for the males’ way of life. Then, men will change.

    • surfercajun

      @ Sarina

      My daughter noticed this herself at her work place. When (truck drivers) were around her they would assist with anything she asked help for and called her Miss. She would smile pleasantly at them and thanked them heartily for their help. However, these same men when around this other woman cursed and used other harsh language in her presence. (it was relayed to daughter by other woman.)

      It took my daughter to realize this other woman was acting like a man and why they treating her this fashion even though she complained about it. My daughter then reasoned she was acting in the guidelines of her femininity and the men were reacting to it positively, and they acted like they respect her. It actually made her smile!

      • Sarina

        @surfercajun, seems that your daughter’s method favoured positive results, it’s interesting to notice the difference in treatment.

  3. surfercajun

    …girls who naturally dream big grow into women who specialize in disappointment, loneliness, or hopelessness even though they may have married. The your statement made me ponder a part in a book which stated: Dreams are portable.

    This makes me wonder. Are women turning into men in which they are only concerned with the present, not the future?

    Your Highness Surfercajun,
    Re your last paragraph, yes, unfeminine habits are forming and trending that way.

  4. Anita

    Mr. Guy! Hi! I need your help! I have a boyfriend, he is awesome, and yesterday he told me he saw a house he liked and was interested in purchasing. The house is in the northern side of the city, where he lives, three blocks from his parents’ house. I live in the west side of the city, which is just 15-20 min away. I do not want to move to the northern side at all! The traffic is awful in comparison, among other things. I mentioned something about maybe checking out houses in the west, and he told me the important thing was being together and I understood he wasn’t buying the house at the moment.
    This is a big deal for me. I don’t know if I should be direct and tell him I won’t live in the northern side. I am scared if I am too indirect he will let it slide and buy the house over there.
    Please advice me!
    Thank you so much!

    Your Highness Anita,

    Reappraise yourself with these questions:

    1. How much of your resistance is selfishness? Expunge it as defending your position.

    2. Is he buying the house alone? If yes, go to 3.

    3. Is moving to the north a deal-breaker? Would you let him go before moving there?

    4. Are you buying a house jointly? Refuse to go along to get along.

    If its against your self-interest, don’t do it. That means you weigh having him vs. investing and living where you choose not to.

    Incidentally, I sniff competition between his locating near family vs. honoring your desires/exceptions. If that’s accurate, you can expect his relationship with family to cloud your relationship with him for a long time and maybe forever.


    • Cocoa

      Sir Guy, this is a very good point, you made me think and examine myself, as I was pondering over this the past two week.

      You ask Anita: “How much of your resistance is selfishness?”
      I was wondering about this too. If a woman is resistant to something, to an idea or to a plan or…. She might think to herself, these are my standards, and HE has to meet my standards and my expectations and so, she resists. She might justify to herself, but deep inside she IS selfish and trying to use the man.

      My question is, if a woman *seems* resistant, does that add to her value regardless of the reason? Does it add to her respectability? Or a man can differentiate between resistance because of her standards and values (like resisting his conquering spirit and advances, resisting his ungodly values), and resistance because she is just selfish and wants to get HER way and dominate (like he has to call me all the time, he has to spend all the time, he has to…..)?

      I see many women intermixing the two. I think I am sometimes guilty of that, when I think to myself these are my values and standards, while I really have some unreasonable and unrealistic expectations and when my man does not meet these expectations I am disappointed. I think we need to have a balance: a general humble, meek and quiet spirit and the wise, sharp and resisting spirit when needed.

      However, I still wonder about the men reaction to various resisting modes and reasons.

      Your Highness Cocoa,
      There is no standard or universal answer to your question in third paragraph. It’s an individual matter on both sides.

  5. I disagree with your foundational proposition that women should artificially make men wait as long as possible for sex. I don’t believe that the sex can then ever live up to the time, work, and emotional investment proffered by the man. In most cases, this leads to the man harboring tremendous resentment and never again fully trusting her authenticity. He will always wonder if she is once again making him jump through hoops for no legitimate reason.
    Further, that strategy often leaves the women firmly in control of the relationship – something women think and say they want… Yet, if you ask a woman to describe the time she was most in Love, that depiction will NEVER include so much as a hint of her being in control of the relationship. Not ever.
    Men, as you correctly assert, fall in love primarily by visual stimulation. Thus, they mostly become more in Love in the presence of the One they Love. Women primarily fall in Love outside of the presence of the One they Love. It is a scientific fact that women are more attracted to a man whose feelings are unclear. Women’s emotions are anchored and grow deeper while they remain uncertain if he loves and cares for them reciprocally. Their Love deepens as they discuss their last date with their girlfriends, as they analyze him, and as they strategize how to capture the Love of the One they Want. It is women not men who need, and crave, the ‘hunt’ and the process of falling in Love and the thrill of strategically maneuvering until she wins over the Man she Desires.
    In this post, the “superior gender” is a dangerous phrase. ‘Superior’ is neither accurate nor supportive of your ideals. Applied to, and internalized by, either males or females, that adjective has the potential to do great harm. Do you really believe one gender is superior to the other?!?
    With those items noted, I thank you and appreciate your blog. Though I disagree with the above items, it does not change my appreciation for your hard work, clever writing style, attention to detail and the ideas you convey. Thank you.

    Sir Scotty b.
    You’ve thrown up an interesting challenge. I’ll be back not later than Wednesday morning.

    • Yin

      Sir Scotty B.

      I hope this will help. The first question you answer yourself. If that was enough to make him resent her, it would not be a man she would marry, and she would have been happy that he filtered himself out before then.

      Women also don’t necessarily feel in control of the relationship or interactions with others, so much as in control of themselves and their boundaries 🙂 You might project your own assuredness onto women, but I think it is a feminine tendency to not be all that sure of things… making us predisposed to worry.

      As for “superior” I remember reading the meaning of it in post… 2237, it refers to how women work towards making the two sexes compatible for a life together. “What else could keep male dominance under sufficient control but an irresistible force?” It is worth the read. Also….my own little conspiracy theory is that Sir Guy sometimes puts an edge to things in the hopes of being called out to elaborate 😀

      Your Highness Lin,
      A delightful response. Thanks. Stay around. I tackle him tomorrow.

    • surfercajun

      Mr. Scotty,

      This argument given is not a very good one. The fact that you preach salvation (on your site) then speak with a forked tongue makes me wonder. You taut what Jesus says but add in what you think others shouldn’t do or dangerous in thinking? WE all have free will and choice but “you are not your own and purchased with a price.” (Jesus speaks about that) Perhaps you must be MGTOW?

      Scotty says: …as you correctly assert, men fall in love primarily by visual stimulation

      Sir Guy never said that men fall in love by visual stimulation….Sir Guy says: His urge activates at sight. Conquer so he can move on to another target (where is “men fall in love” in the statement?)

      Men can have sex and move on if they are not invested in the gal. Once she gives her gift up, it is conquers rights. The GUY controls the relationship from then on out. He is the dominate sex, she the superior one. The ladies here can correct your thinking that women WANT to get married, and HAVE a good future with a GOOD man together. To your (women don’t want to be in control) I don’t know what woman likes to be excluded in his thoughts and choices about their life together. It is her feminine nature that drives her for a better life of togetherness. It is HER that controls what happens before marriage or after marrying. Holding on to her precious gift makes her MORE precious because she has not passed herself around to every tom, dick and john. If you don’t want to become invested in the high class, high hanging fruit, it is wise to move on. If it is low hanging fruit you seek, there is plenty. You cannot have both and expect them to act the same. The women here are unique, sassy and very feminine. I could vouch for most, if not all. The men here are gentlemen and caring. The way a man is to be when looking after women that act like ladies, not to be stepped on but cherished. IF she is a good woman she puts others first in her life after marriage and continues to do so along with the training up of the children, and support for her husband when he needs her. Like one song says…When I fall, you won’t change anything at all. (Dan Rixon) meaning SHE won’t change…when the chips are down for him (better or for worst, married or relationship wise) and she will be there FOR him. She proves her worth to him. His rock in time of need… He should be HER hero… HIS cheerleader when the team is down. He married over his head. She makes him a better man because she sees the diamond in the rough. Her positive ways to his dead energy. What I mean by that is when he is done with something/finished with a project he moves on… it’s dead to him. She can go back and either make it better for herself or think on for later use.

      Sir Guy further explains sex won’t hold those that are married or unmarried. SHE has to be something special but it seems your argument is about what you are not getting and have no basis of why she shouldn’t be called the superior sex. The reasoning sounds like social programming. It sounds like we all should be “gender neutral.” It makes me further wonder, do you even like being a man? You state women should not be called “superior gender” but Sir Guy states Superior sex. Superior is the correct phrase for women IF they operate within the feminine sphere. When women think with heart and not heads they become better women. Women FEEL… Men ACT…. She gives color to a man’s black and white world. You seem to have the two confused but perhaps you are use to masculine women??

      Your Highness Surfercajun,
      Very thorough response. Thanks. Stay tuned. I tackle him tomorrow.

    • Tooconfused


      “I don’t believe that the sex can then ever live up to the time, work, and emotional investment proffered by the man. In most cases, this leads to the man harboring tremendous resentment and never again fully trusting her authenticity.”

      I’m not sure sex is supposed to live up to anything more than, well, exactly what it is. Just sex. Every woman was made compatible for men, sexually, that is. Every vagina is basically the same. It’s the woman and the entire relationship between her and him that’s supposed to live up to something bigger. Living up to the sake of sex is, I don’t know, sorta petty. If I was a man, it is quite literally I want to get done so I can start checking my emails. Not something I would live up to.

      Man only harbors resentment towards the woman if she is rejecting him; the person he is, the way he looks, the way he acts, his character and characteristics, etc. For example, a woman might reject sex towards 1 man who is chasing her – but because he knows she is promiscuous, he might have a right to take it resentfully because he’s going to assume something is wrong with him. If a man is chasing a woman who has higher standards and he can sniff that out, there’s no reason to take anything personally. The woman may have chosen to be chaste and carry out this discipline. Or, she might have always been chaste. In this scenario there’s no reason why he should resent her. If a man ever does resent this kind of woman then something is wrong with him. I hope men remember you’re not entitled to sex from any woman. You just think you are because we live in the era of Miley Cyrus.

      Also, what does authenticity have to do with anything? The woman is inauthentic because she’s refusing sex? Or just refusing 1 guy when you know she’s been around the block? Whether this woman was previously promiscuous and chose to make chaste choices in the future, or if she’s just choosing not to sleep with you and having sex with others, neither of those scenarios are inauthentic. They are just choices the woman chooses to excercise.

      The only time it is “inauthentic” is if she tricked you into thinking you were buying a brand new car when you proposed, while in reality you later found out she has been around about 20 blocks, then yes that is definitely inauthentic. But during courtship she would have had to say “I’m a virgin” loud and clear without any sarcasm. Or she’s the type of girl who acts totally chaste and never spells it out loud, is #1 church goer and then a total slut on the side, then yes I’d be mad to. I have real life girlfriends like this and because I couldn’t stand their falseness we no longer talk as much. I did not spend much time resenting them as it would be a complete waste of time. Resent fake people? I have other things to do. Actually I would first resent myself for attracting that person and spending time with them. You can’t resent anyone else because you also can’t control them. It’s a completely useless emotion.

      Also, the more I observe men and women in relationships, those fake girls putting on fronts are easily sniffed out and quality men find out anyway, before marriage usually. My ex friend who is one of those church-going fake people (very promiscuous starting in high school but puts on a show to have others perceive her as an angel) ended up with a guy who went Dutch on every date and now they have a Dutch marriage. She was low hanging fruit and attracted exactly that.

      Your Highness Tooconfused,
      Thorough and clear. Thanks.

      • Magnolia

        Tooconfused, you are so right. I always look forward to what you have to say. Great thoughts, indeed!

    • surfercajun

      Mr. Jason Scot Blackburn,

      You had me wondering if you were a real person. So for fun I looked you up! I question your ethics on selling yourself here. The only practice on the website is your own. I find it poor taste that you put your business dealings on your personal gravatar. Personal life and business life should be separate, correct? Besides, you only have a license to practice in Californication. ((grin))

      You come here to complain about women but you had a mother. She must have done right to marry your father and had you especially to attend a collage like Pepperdine University affiliated with Church of Christ.

      Pepperdine is a Christian university committed to the highest standards of academic excellence and Christian values. So in the great words of Aretha Franklin “Who’s fooling who?”

      Nice touch knowing your whole name don’t you think? 🙂

  6. surfercajun

    Some good music while we patiently wait for a great tackle response from Sir Guy.

    Do you ladies cringe the way this gal sits in a chair!!??? Then she acts like a victim. This seems to turn back to Gentleman Eric’s legit claim that what women say and do are at times completely different! In the past I found it hard to believe women would even do such things…until I saw it for myself.

    I looked up the meaning of mack and found this: A mack can be a person who is smooth, slick, the Best of the Best, the guy who runs everything a.k.a. the Boss!

    Your Highness Surfercajun,
    I can’t understand (bad hearing) a single word except “return of the mack.” I leave it to you. Does it promote female dignity, pride, importance, and worthiness aimed at helping fulfill female hopes and dreams? Or promote male dominance? Does it add to or detract from the blog theme?

    • surfercajun

      Oh Sir Guy,

      I was trying to give you a compliment but it looks like I failed…. here (gives raspberry) this you might like.

      How about my love of jazzy 1920’s music? Is this more suited toward your taste? ((winks and blows kiss))

      Your Highness Surfercajun,
      Much more easily understandable for me and, what I really like, it’s uplifting of women. More suitable for this blog. Thanks.

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