2330. Suggestions for Raising Children — Part IV

I interrupt my planned sequence to inject a political comment. We need to teach more and mutual respect as the hinge pin for raising better children. As long as the political class promotes diversity and differences, the mutual respect of commonality dissipates and fades.

As women go, so goes society. But it only trends toward female friendliness when mutual respect rates higher than mutual love as the primary glue secreted by women between individuals. Without mutual respect between both individuals and the sexes, then society goes as men go.

It’s that way today as female friendliness fades away. Because: 1) Women blame men for relationship ailments, which makes them expect masculine respect without respecting men, which leaves women in self-defeat by inaction and lack of initiative. 2) Initiating displays of respect to someone invites if not earns their respect, and the showing of trust is the most believable form. 3) Modern men distrust modern women, which reverses historical experience, and so men are not inclined to initiate anything except joyfully ride the pony of female sexual freedom.

Today, women don’t initiate to lead indirectly and so men lead more dynamically. If women expect different outcomes, they should initiate the showing of respect to men and their gender. Men won’t initiate it. Just showing more respect than they receive weakens their competitive alignment with men and gender dominance with women. They can be blamed all day, but self-interest prevails over the interest of others.

More intersex and intra-gender respect is essential to enable women to once again shape and maintain the cultural values, standards, and expectations that guide people in a female-friendly society.

Historically, wives dominated cultural values. Today, single men dominate, subordinate, and subject women and children to immoral and even porn objectification. Husbands—the most valuable of men—go along to get along pretty much outside the shaping of public interest. The half-century changeover originated with the death of social and domestic conditions that prevailed before the 1960s.

Old school: Women respected men more than the female gender; men respected women more than the male gender. Men sought a dependable wife to provide home and castle and brighten their work and life; women sought a responsible mate to brighten their future. Almost everybody wanted those blessings. Single life was undesired and avoidable because mutual respect for the opposite gender bred trust between the sexes. Trust enhanced individual respect, which expanded a husband’s willingness and ability to love one woman, which bred mutual respect and encouragement, which attracted and taught wives that respect trumps love for the keeping of a husband.

Society settled smoothly into mutual exchange of power and influence. Husbands dominated workplace and society. Wives dominated home and cultural values, standards, and expectations for their mutually anticipated brighter future.

IOW men and women were not at war. Mutual respect bonded them in peace and the raising of children who matured into respectable and respecting adults seeking to find mutuality with a mate. Mother-love earned mutual respect that raised good children. Wife’s respect earned husband’s love that kept fathers at home.

If we can restore the teaching of, high regard for, and expectation of mutual respect among younger generations, then we may be able to reverse the male dominance that trends out of control today. It will take several or many generations, but the first change agents may already have been born.

I leave you with two operational definitions that I use.

Respect — A feeling or attitude of admiration and deference toward somebody or something; the state of being admired deferentially. To those dictionary words, I would add being appreciated and trusted; recognized as an authority on some or many subjects; looked up to as source of wisdom, guidance, dependence, help, responsibility, mental stimulation, and perhaps mental nourishment.

Disrespect — Not appreciated as a person, man or woman, or for the various roles they fill in life. No interest in their opinions. They deserve to be ignored, challenged in front of others, made to look bad, or their opinions differ. Or, they can’t pleasantly reciprocate love or respect.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, sex differences

11 responses to “2330. Suggestions for Raising Children — Part IV

  1. Amen to this post! Thank you for seeing and recognizing these things, it makes one feel not so crazy. I especially like what you said about the “mutual respect of commonality” and also trust. Trust is seriously lacking today, so men and women tend to perceive each other as the enemy, constantly seeking defensive dominance over each other. That’s all well and good for the occasional pillow fight, but as a way of life and form of cultural conditioning, it does a great deal of harm.

    Your Highness Insanitybytes22,
    Great thinking and well expressed. Thanks for adding so much to the blog.

    • My Husband's Wife

      I don’t know if an article can get any better than this one! How do you do it, Sir Guy! Great series here on the organizing and harmonizing of a family that is helpful even if one doesn’t have any children to raise. It’s definitely more of what Women Never Hear. And a great comment from Insanitybytes, too! Too many women are more concerned with proving they’re “right” to their husband rather than finding some common ground in a dispute—which equates to lack of respect, breaks down trust. And the funny thing is, that most of the time, a husband isn’t suggesting they do something immoral or illegal…so why make a mountain out of a molehill and destroy a relationship? What’s happening today is competitive
      behavior, husband vs. wife thinking, opposed to looking at the big picture and asking “what’s best for all of US” as a family unit.

      Your Highness My Husband’s Wife,
      You’re right on every point. Now, how do we convince millions of women that their brighter future depends on making the present brighter for their man?

      • “Now, how do we convince millions of women that their brighter future depends on making the present brighter for their man?”

        That is a seriously good question. I hope you don’t mind if I give it some thought and perhaps blog about it?

        Your Highness Insanitybytes22,
        Please blog away. You’re one in the first million. I thank you for the millions who don’t recognize, learn, and use the superiority of their gender.

      • My Husband's Wife

        This is a good question: “Now, how do we convince millions of women that their brighter future depends on making the present brighter for their man?” This blog is definitely the foundation and us women who are here work in the lives of those around us—but I wonder: is there more we can do, us readers, to help those millions of hurting women out there change their future.

        What I’m encountering is that a lot of this information I present to struggling women (after they unload), they find interesting—but yet have no interest in taking the time to read/study/change—even with hopes of making things better. I don’t get it.

        I’d be interested in how other readers of this blog share information and the types of responses they get.

        I’m up for any ideas on how to even further spread the message out there to help uplift those who are struggling with their relationships in our confusing world—who might be willing to take a chance and change themselves.

  2. surfercajun

    What I’m encountering is that a lot of this information I present to struggling women (after they unload), they find interesting—but yet have no interest in taking the time to read/study/change…..

    here, here…. that is ALL they want to do… UNLOAD…not change… I have suggested this same site to my one friend down the street when we use to walk together….now she wants to go to the dog park so she can sit and bellyache…. Another time…a book that states the same as Sir Guy states here to two other woman who use to live in my neighborhood in which one would not speak to me for over a year as she refused to read and had me come to pick up the book from her. (how DARE I change her!) Yet another I left on her door step with a note…..

    I HAVE tried… they say they WANT help but to me it is nothing but lip service. I say very little now other than to say this sites name… I don’t bother to repeat it… they never write it down or look it up on their phones.

    I would simply say more *might* be caught than taught.

    • My Husband's Wife

      Sorry to hear that you’re experiencing similar responses, Surfercajun.
      I don’t know about you, but I’ve noticed that those who resist change don’t seem to value their husbands very much. So why make the effort for something they care little about? It’s not a priority. Time is better spent doing other things such as complaining. WADWMUFG.

      And you just never know if one day some of those same ladies might think back to your words of wisdom and your kind efforts and be ready to make that change 😉

      • surfercajun

        Hey… thank you for reading and giving positive feed back to my negative rant. I guess I could always think on the fact that perhaps God wanted me to put the seed forth and he would take care of the rest…I know we don’t have any power over to change women’s negative feelings towards other, or laziness of actions or *womaning up* ( i think they deserve the same mud in the face they thrown at men) or the whole happy life happy wife bull-ma-larky…. no person can make another happy… you have to find it within yourself and CHOOSE happiness…choose to want to grow as a person and better yourself. If they fight it, that is something they will have to take up with their maker. Sorry. I don’t mean to go into another negative rant… i am just so sick of seeing and hearing it over and over again. tv is the worse about male basing in which I had stopped watch it because i did not want to boys to see it….they know mom would start up….giggle …movies are another. I tend to watch the trailers VERYYYY carefully of (what message am I taking away?) Do they show men as heroes? Dad’s helping and others listening? Is the mom’s helpful as a helpmeet or is she dreaming of a better past life? (the latter question was shown in a cartoon movie on emotions I refused to watch)

        Oh btw what is WADWMUFG?

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