2345. Tribute to Female Nature — 01: Chocolate Pays

I was asked why I give so much chocolate to women, many that I don’t know.

Single Hershey bars given to clerks, friends, dental hygienists, favorite restaurant servers, greeters, neighbors, wives, singles, grandmothers, secretaries, doctors’ nurses, house cleaners, and my optometrist every visit. If I anticipate the encounter, it’s an occasion for chocolate bar in a lunch bag. (Real men don’t do gift bags and tissues with femmy touches.)

A bag of Hershey Miniatures frequently goes to businesses I visit for whatever reason to be placed in the break room with this disclaimer: Guys get none unless the gals say so, ‘cause I don’t do chocolate for men. (Usually presented in a Wal-Mart plastic bag.)

First, teasing women—and giving chocolate for no reason—makes their prettiness shine brighter. Second, I enjoy trying to make funny the gift-giving encounter. Both keep me reminded of my duty. Third, I realize that God gave chocolate to men—not to women—so that men could get women to pay attention to them.

Fourth, and the most compelling reason and which I’ve made a duty, it’s my tribute to women. I was dumb as an under-inflated tire for my first 70 years. This century I educated myself on what wonderful creatures God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize mostly for the benefit of men. Who, of course as you ladies know, may have a slight clue but fall far short on appreciation, affection, and understanding of female needs, wants, and expectations.

So much for me and chocolate. Why the tribute? So few recognize women as the superior gender. How they make civilization work and stabilize society in the face of the dominant gender working against peaceful accommodation. How they prevent the enslavement of women and children, when political conditions enable it as in the U.S.

Tomorrow we’ll examine the male nature that needs female help to keep Western civilization on track.


Filed under Culture & Politics, Dear daughter

18 responses to “2345. Tribute to Female Nature — 01: Chocolate Pays

  1. Ah, you are a rare treasure indeed. There is nothing better in the world than a man who comes bearing chocolate. 😉

    Your Highness Insanitybytes22,
    I hope to outdo chocolate in the next few days. Let me know.

  2. Shermy

    Oh Sir Guy, you definitely know what it takes to please us! Chocolate and compliments, yes thank you!!!!!

  3. ChildofRa

    Why chocolate, I never understood as a female the whole give us chocolate & flowers thing?

    Your Highness ChildofRa,
    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

  4. surfercajun

    I was dumb as an under-inflated tire for my first 70 years…
    LOUDLY scoffs: I HIGHLY doubt that.

    This makes me think of my beautiful Indian friend Hershey. She is having her first baby and in her sixth month now. Was teasing her recently as I was telling her she is going to have a mini Hersey of her very own.
    (it’s a girl)

    Will you guys please say a small prayer for her? When texting me she always request a prayer. (smiles gently) New mom-to-be-jitters

  5. surfercajun

    I was not given chocolate but a cough tablet for an irritating cough I had a few years back. When I smiled and gushed a thank you, the man would not even LOOK at me. I stood there, confused and wondering to myself… “Did I just turn ugly or something?”

  6. curlyblondy

    you’re so funny 🙂 lucky women!

    Your Highness Curlyblondy,
    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

  7. Etu

    Dear Sir Guy, I need your help tonight (tried posting this earlier but not sure it saved). I have been talking to a great guy for a while now and really, really like him. I have posted for your wisdom here before about the goings on (thank you for your invaluable advice). We have a 20 year age difference, come from different countries, have time zone issues, etc, but have faith as our foundation. We are looking to meet soon for the first time. He has a very demanding job and takes a real vacation once a year. He is planning to meet me while on a layover here and hoping for me to visit his country later, if everything goes well. I would honestly rather he come straight to my town and meet me. Of course I don’t want to sound like I am making demands or messing with his vacation…I just think at this point I should come before that. We don’t have many face to face opportunities and time is so precious. He is a little gun shy and I know the girls he has met in the past, have visited him (from relatively a lot closer) first. Deep down my gut says the guy should bear the burden of visiting the girl first, and while a layover means he is coming here, it seems less intentional. I have been hoping he would suggest meeting me where I am first, but he always says on layover. I am wondering how I should go about sharing my feelings about this without coming off psycho or controlling. I just feel like this arrangement makes me somewhat more of the ‘chaser’ and what if he doesn’t agree to it? I know he’s going to bring up his demanding job somehow…unless he is waiting for the invitation from me? We both talk about God’s will in and for our lives…if it falls through but one or both of us wanted it to work, I don’t want to ‘blame’ the Lord so to speak. I think he likes me a lot but there is also a passivity or maybe just a sense of realism. I think he is hopeful but has mentioned before in his life that his ‘expectations’ for things happening is very low. Can you help me deal with this? I’ll love you forever!

    Your Highness Etu,

    I see red flags all over. Age, cultural differences, his techniques for setting you up, claiming that faith is common foundation, keeping plan specifics to himself, and several others. He has plans for you, but you only have wishes, hopes, and dreams that he is who and what he says he is. Huh, uh.

    He’s conning you. He aim to conquer a gal 20 years younger and then dump her. For which pleasure, he expects to only pay the price of a visit during a layover which is still unspecified for a vacation which is also unspecified? Were he so interested in you specifically, he would act differently.

    He’s a player. He already has you accepting his ‘hard-to-get’ role and manner. Don’t fall for it.

    Stop agreeing to anything unless he comes to visit you with no other purpose for his trip. One gal visited him twice and she’s gone. So, what do you think will happen to you if you visit him? Even if he does visit, surprise him and under no circumstances yield sex. Then, you’ll find out if he wants you or was just after sex.

    Christian date sites are a great way to find women innocent in the ways of men because they model men from the words they speak. Christian men have been known to lie, you know.

    Always make a man do all the work. If he’s truly interested in you and you alone as person, woman, and prospective mate, he will come after you and overcome all the obstacles you put in his way. So, your job is to erect obstacles and see what he does. He does all the selling, you do all they buying, which means he makes himself worthy or you and not the other way around.

    (If you apply such silent pressure, I bet he worms his way out of any deeper relationship developing between you.)


    • Cinnamon


      This guy is manipulating your emotions; he is a classic Vague & Unavailable (believe me, not all V & U types are pick up artists–some of them can be very self-effacing and endearing). You need to pull back but gently and without any kind of direct criticism of him. Under no circumstances should you visit him or go to meet him on a layover.

      We are all vulnerable to this kind of thing which is why we have to guard our hearts vigilantly with hard-headedness. In addition to what Sir Guy said to you above, see my response to Kubra on 1837.

    • Meow Meow

      When he announces when the layover is, you can always “have other plans” at that time so he will have to come visit you specifically if he really wants to meet. With what Sir Guy said, I agree—there are just so many red flags. You must be dying to meet up, but even if you do, just keep it friendly—nothing sexual…..be around other people or meet in public places if possible. For what its worth, someone saying they are “Christian” means nothing to me….words are cheap, but do they practice what they preach? There are indeed Christian PUAs apparently…not saying he is one for sure, just a friendly internet stranger’s thoughts.

  8. gonemaverick

    i had to google the hershey choccies to see what they look like. the brand is not sold here. they look yummy. nice touch Sir Guy.

  9. anonymous

    I guarantee you brighten their day with this practice! I worked at a grocery store in high school and there was one man who always gave candy to me and the other girls/women. He never said a word, just handed us some candy, smiled, and went about his shopping. The men I worked with claimed he was a pervert because he only gave it to females and “who knows what he did with it”. Of course they were just jealous; I was always delighted to receive the candy and thought what a nice man 🙂

    Also nice picking with hershey’s, it’s the best in my opinion!

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