Her Highness MLaRowe at 2350 triggered this article with the claim: “[W]hat I have come to believe is that sex really is sacred. It is the act of creating a life whether a birth comes as a result or not.”
The following was written for a future article but I use it now to endorse her point. Sex is primarily for procreation and the more sacred it’s considered, the more compatible the couple.
Her Primal Sex Drive. Four natural energies bring sex into play in the woman’s world. The first three support original design of procreation.
- Her physiological urge to nurture triggers the urge to procreate.
- Her psychological need to assuage the needs of others stimulates her to copulate.
- Her natural need for self-importance ignites ambitions to outdo and outshine other women to capture and mate with the best quality man, whom she seeks to ensure high quality offspring. Necessarily, because of the male nature, it usually involves sexual relations.
- Her nature craves intimacy, especially when her spirits are down. The promise of pre- and post-coital touching and body closeness fuels her desire for sex.
But there’s more.
- Women can have multiple orgasms, which encourage multiple attempts at insemination, which allows for fertilization to match the unpredictability of ovulation, which encourages her to remain with the man that she’s chosen as best to father and adequate at least to help care for her offspring.
- The lure and ability of multiple orgasms compensates her discouragement at trying without success. It also appeals to the masculine ego, which provides or at least strengthens whatever glue tends to hold them together. OTOH, men need recovery time after orgasm; one ‘deposit’ is enough for now. He can move on or stay with her depending on his desire and her ability to hold him.
So, Nature makes it incumbent on woman to hold her man for repeated inseminations, when a man’s primal urge is to spread seed once and proceed on his way; others await his servicing.
Those primal urges motivate women to recognize the male sex drive as more urgently driven and to utilize sex for bonding, generating compatibility, and competing with other women for the best men.
His Primal Sex Drive. Three natural urges bring sex into the man’s world. The first is the toughest that women ever try to tame. Earning his complete devotion is the only way too.
- His physiological urge to copulate first time with every sexually attractive woman ends with conquest of each woman but the drive to conquer another lingers for life. Conqueror’s right both frees him to stay or drop her and entitles him to ‘own’ their sexual agenda.
- His drive to compete—against Nature, other men, and to control human events—brings females onto the playing field in two classes: conquered and unconquered by him. He has an intrinsic urge to outdo and outshine other men with whatever females are available. The unconquered are pursued with diligence and the woman is always right to defend and fail to yield. The conquered are never right to refuse and accepted as ready for more at his call.
- What we see as the ‘normal’ sex drive that men demonstrate with each conquered female, whether married or unmarried.
Those primal urges combine to make males compete with females for conquest but for little else afterward. Men accept female competition before conquest but only cooperation after that. Again, they are born that way.
MLaRowe points out that sex is or should be held up as sacred. The merit of it makes couples more compatible. We all become better people living up to someone or something higher or bigger than ourselves. Elevating sex to sacred—and only women can do it—has this effect: Partners live up to each other rather than themselves even when sex-for-pleasure is the ruling objective. No intent to imply, of course, that sex is only for procreation.
Compatibility grows when each partner is out to please the other and lets the other’s pleasure please them. (Of course, women have been doing that for centuries. Men only do it when women make sex sacred—or so I infer from MLaRowe and tend to agree.)
Other than for procreation, all other sex is secondary and as popular as morality permits, as popular as women permit society to jump the tracks of female-friendly Judeo-Christian values and standards.
It’s the ideal Judeo-Christian arrangement to ensure that procreation continues as God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize the sexes to be compatible, produce babies, raise them to maturity, and help them raise their own into adulthood.
The more sacred, the more closeness. The more secular, the more emotionally disconnected. The former appeals to females; the latter appeals to males. So, once again, women are in charge of the moral judgments about sex and sacred. Men follow when women lead by doing what’s right for them and offspring and without blaming men for shortcomings.