2351. Tribute to the Female Nature — 06: Procreation Sacred


Her Highness MLaRowe at 2350 triggered this article with the claim: “[W]hat I have come to believe is that sex really is sacred. It is the act of creating a life whether a birth comes as a result or not.”

The following was written for a future article but I use it now to endorse her point. Sex is primarily for procreation and the more sacred it’s considered, the more compatible the couple.

Her Primal Sex Drive. Four natural energies bring sex into play in the woman’s world. The first three support original design of procreation.

  • Her physiological urge to nurture triggers the urge to procreate.
  • Her psychological need to assuage the needs of others stimulates her to copulate.
  • Her natural need for self-importance ignites ambitions to outdo and outshine other women to capture and mate with the best quality man, whom she seeks to ensure high quality offspring. Necessarily, because of the male nature, it usually involves sexual relations.
  • Her nature craves intimacy, especially when her spirits are down. The promise of pre- and post-coital touching and body closeness fuels her desire for sex.

But there’s more.

  • Women can have multiple orgasms, which encourage multiple attempts at insemination, which allows for fertilization to match the unpredictability of ovulation, which encourages her to remain with the man that she’s chosen as best to father and adequate at least to help care for her offspring.
  • The lure and ability of multiple orgasms compensates her discouragement at trying without success. It also appeals to the masculine ego, which provides or at least strengthens whatever glue tends to hold them together. OTOH, men need recovery time after orgasm; one ‘deposit’ is enough for now. He can move on or stay with her depending on his desire and her ability to hold him.

So, Nature makes it incumbent on woman to hold her man for repeated inseminations, when a man’s primal urge is to spread seed once and proceed on his way; others await his servicing.

Those primal urges motivate women to recognize the male sex drive as more urgently driven and to utilize sex for bonding, generating compatibility, and competing with other women for the best men.

His Primal Sex Drive. Three natural urges bring sex into the man’s world. The first is the toughest that women ever try to tame. Earning his complete devotion is the only way too.

  • His physiological urge to copulate first time with every sexually attractive woman ends with conquest of each woman but the drive to conquer another lingers for life. Conqueror’s right both frees him to stay or drop her and entitles him to ‘own’ their sexual agenda.
  • His drive to compete—against Nature, other men, and to control human events—brings females onto the playing field in two classes: conquered and unconquered by him. He has an intrinsic urge to outdo and outshine other men with whatever females are available. The unconquered are pursued with diligence and the woman is always right to defend and fail to yield. The conquered are never right to refuse and accepted as ready for more at his call.
  • What we see as the ‘normal’ sex drive that men demonstrate with each conquered female, whether married or unmarried.

Those primal urges combine to make males compete with females for conquest but for little else afterward. Men accept female competition before conquest but only cooperation after that. Again, they are born that way.

 

MLaRowe points out that sex is or should be held up as sacred. The merit of it makes couples more compatible. We all become better people living up to someone or something higher or bigger than ourselves. Elevating sex to sacred—and only women can do it—has this effect: Partners live up to each other rather than themselves even when sex-for-pleasure is the ruling objective. No intent to imply, of course, that sex is only for procreation.

Compatibility grows when each partner is out to please the other and lets the other’s pleasure please them. (Of course, women have been doing that for centuries. Men only do it when women make sex sacred—or so I infer from MLaRowe and tend to agree.)

Other than for procreation, all other sex is secondary and as popular as morality permits, as popular as women permit society to jump the tracks of female-friendly Judeo-Christian values and standards.

It’s the ideal Judeo-Christian arrangement to ensure that procreation continues as God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize the sexes to be compatible, produce babies, raise them to maturity, and help them raise their own into adulthood.

The more sacred, the more closeness. The more secular, the more emotionally disconnected. The former appeals to females; the latter appeals to males. So, once again, women are in charge of the moral judgments about sex and sacred. Men follow when women lead by doing what’s right for them and offspring and without blaming men for shortcomings.

 

17 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, sex differences

17 responses to “2351. Tribute to the Female Nature — 06: Procreation Sacred

  1. My Husband's Wife

    Wow!

  2. surfercajun

    Do all husband find it shocking when their wives are pregnant when they are not expect it? Or perhaps I should say when not planning on it? And if planning was not in the future would she feel it her fault, or even terrified to tell him? Just curious really. It would seem these days there are less desire for children and less connected families, cousins, grandparents, etc. There seems to be more fighting with other family members or bickering among themselves than bringing and training up of children in the admiration of the Lord. I find the whole thing sad.

    Then again, I have had women tell me they had their kids two years apart to *get it over with* (me: shocked and horrified stare) Durn, I must be really strange and different! I never want to get over my kids.

    • Meow Meow

      Me either! This is not a kid-tolerant world we live in…When my child was about 3 months old I was strolling my baby carriage down the sidewalk and my next door neighbor stood on her lawn and said, “I would never be a slave to a baby!” Not that I was expecting her to gush over a baby necessarily but the unprovoked comment stunned me. She was only a little older than me…..and apparently she was a working psychologist. I just went on my way….now she has a kid of her own through surrogacy…… I think her hubby really wanted to be a dad as I see him playing with the kiddo all the time. I forgave the neighbor’s comment but I’ll always remember it!
      Though they seem long the days of young childhood are actually short and sweet and I miss them.

      • surfercajun

        I second you about young childhood and I love the newer models!!! My daughter actively seeks them out and gushes all over them!!

  3. For me, procreation is no longer an issue. The idea of sex a way of supporting, encouraging, comforting . . . and having fun with a husband . . . that’s why I want marriage at my age.

    Because men can become fathers sometimes long after women have left the childbearing years, there is the whole issue of men seeking fertile mates so they can show their sexual prowess and get the ego boost of having a “mini-me” or two or three.

    So, what about sex with a non-producing woman whose biological clock has stopped would induce a man of her age (most likely still with the potential to father children) to choose her over a younger woman for some sexual fun, excitement, companionship, whatever, and treat it sacredly? I’m not seeing much here to answer that question.

    Your Highness Edith,

    Re your last paragraph, forget the ‘sacredly’ as you conclude. Check out article 2342. It may give you some new ideas.

    Otherwise, it’s pretty much as when younger except go modest rather than sexy.
    Your attractiveness comes first. Make yourself great to look at at all times. Get out more in public. If you do already, try new places, more exposure. Look pretty, smiling, more open than other women, more respectful of men than other women, and apparently full of fun. It makes men look more than once, which is the start.

    Guy

    • Meow Meow

      I wonder this too Sir Guy! When I see an older gentleman clearly enjoying (dating) a lady around his own age, I’m happy for them! I think “She must have something really special…what could it be?” (Not speaking of the long-married, still-in-lovebirds but those who appear to be setting sail on a new relationship). (I got married young so I am curious)

      • surfercajun

        Meow, Meow,

        I love how you think! I have seen those still in love birds after years of marriage. They are so cute at that age!! I have hearts floating around my head when around couples like that… I just sigh with happiness! …giggle

    • surfercajun

      ….giggles looking at Guy

      Read her original report yesterday and thought the same thing.

    • I have been trying for the better part of a year now to have lots of “pretty time.” I have beautiful blue eyes if I do say so, and lovely silver hair that a good friend (and a hair styling genius) keeps in good shape for me. I try to make the most of those assets. And though I can’t afford really fancy clothes, I have some very nice outfits. So I clean up real nice.

      Getting out and about is a real problem. I have had a job for five years now that, for various reasons, has sucked out most of my time and energy. Things are at a point now that, if a certain job possibility doesn’t materialize in the next four months, I am going to put in for retirement. I won’t get full benefits, but I’ll be alive and sane.

      A couple of years ago, I came to the conclusion that I would have to do something about my job because it was robbing me of most of the essential elements of a genuine relationship.

      From my perspective, a real relationship that has a chance to go somewhere is one in which the participants invest time (the people involved are able to be together for more than a few minutes here and there) and energy (tired people don’t hug, don’t feel excitement).

      The relationship works because of proximity (the two people are physically located fairly close to each other).

      The relationship is marked by reciprocity (the people involved give and receive, obviously each in different ways, but the outlay of time and effort is not one-sided).

      And finally, there is audacity (the relationship draws each person in because both people feel free to take risks and have fun that they don’t outside the relationship).

      Among many issues, I think my current relationship problems from a lack of time, energy, proximity, reciprocity, and audacity. No thanks to my job.

      Maybe when I get a new job/retire, I’ll have those pieces in place and things will catch fire!

      In the meantime, I’m using up a lot of hair mousse.

      Your Highness Edith,

      You well understand life and the marketplace. Continue to make yourself standout and give it time. However, constant tiredness does nothing for your spirit.

      I have a suggestion. Tiredness can come more easily from dehydration than muscle action or mental strain. Try drinking more water especially if you drink lots of tea or coffee. Avoid beverages. Avoid ice, it puts you under more stress, which adds to tiredness.

      It takes awhile to adjust, but room-temp water is best and the traditional 8-glasses a day will make you feel better.

      I’m 84, never purposely nap, sleep 8 hours, and am seldom tired before bedtime. But I know as soon as I feel it to drink at least a pint. If not near bedtime, I drink two. Walllah! Shortly thereafter I’m no longer tired. Works for me. (I read somewhere and can’t vouch for accuracy but the principle seems right: 2% dehydration causes 20% loss of energy. Also, can’t imagine how you measure 2% dehydration.)

      Guy

    • Meow Meow

      Hi Edith,
      not sure if you’ve already tried this, but taking some social dance classes (To music you enjoy, that makes you sparkle) is a great way to get out and meet older guys. Dances like East Coast swing/lindy hop, or West coast swing, hustle, Argentine Tango. Maybe Country. Some guys like Ballroom (Waltz, Foxtrot etc.) but there are less single men who do those ones as the ones I just mentioned.
      Usually yes there are a lot more girls than guys (go figure) but the ladies that get asked to dance in the socials most 1.) keep themselves pretty/feminine as they can and: 2.) have a very upbeat attitude. There to enjoy the music. Thats why i think its best to pick a dance or two where you like listening to the music so much that you smile and bop. You take some lessons then you start going to socials. When an older lady is still smiling and enjoying herself i think that happiness makes her very attractive, sometimes more or at least as much as a younger but shyer woman. It also keeps you different than the older cross ladies who pick on guys and criticize their dancing. There are a lot of those too! Just a thought.

  4. surfercajun

    Sir Guy,

    This question is from my daughter. She was wondering if you have done any studies on women and how they stand. She noticed during the course of the week the women managers she works with stand very masculine (even in a dress!) when addressing employees. She asked me if you had an article on it. I told her not that I knew of but would ask. The look she had on her face said confusion.

    Your Highness Surfercajun,

    I’m slightly puzzled about what daughter asks, but pleased that she’s also puzzled. Unless I miss my guess, the following answers her query about “the women managers she works with stand very masculine (even in a dress!) when addressing employees.”

    They exercise their authority in misapprehension that copying masculine posture and presentation makes their authority more impressive, that employees pay closer attention, that they are better filling the role of ‘boss’.

    Advise daughter of this.

    • Holding authority without using it commands respect. Having to use authority weakens a leader. They will be judged for it, and fear of authority being used against employees either goes up or down and individuals act accordingly. Thus, women managers addressing employees as manly-like figures weaken their influence without ever knowing it.

    • Think of authority as an aura that surrounds an authority figure. If it has to be imposed on people, it’s limited to that used. If it’s never used to impress, discipline, or force people, it can grow into fearful size among those subordinate to it. IOW, the less authority is used, the more there is of it because of employee imagination.

    • Men in authoritative roles seem natural due to male dominance and people develop in childhood how they are to respond in their own self-interest.

    • The feminine side of female nature specializes in using tact in lieu of authority. Unused authority is the most impressive form. It flows out of tactful behavior that makes employees not want to disappoint their female boss.

    • Her female nature—crowned with feminine understanding, love of people, and lots of patience and even silence—encourages employees to read her expectations without her elucidating them. Those women make by far the best bosses, provided cattiness is absent in her words and fairness is present in her actions.

    • However, I must admit, their male bosses don’t recognize such good leadership and they aren’t promoted as easily or quickly as women who copy masculine techniques. More the pity.

    Authority expressed outwardly by a masculine figure tends to gain attention but does not necessarily command respect or obedience; many other factors intervene such as past usage. The aura of authority that surrounds a female boss who doesn’t depend on the authority that comes with her position commands much more respect.

    Just as tact is the vasoline of social intercourse, so respect is the gold of effective leadership. Women who copy men don’t make the best bosses.

    Guy

    • Meow Meow

      Also, if you go to any websites/books about body language, they will all say that a wide-legged ” masculine” stance or “taking up more space” creates a commanding presence. Most bosses or wannabe bosses male or female read such articles and try to apply them. i notice it constantly in the work world. If I want to look authoritative, I’ll do the opposite and finds it works for me—standing still with legs together but perfect posture I think creates a more feminine look yet still commands respect from employees. Imagine a ballet teacher—strict but listening/observing.

    • surfercajun

      from Surfercajun’s daughter:

      Dear Sir Guy,

      Thank for responding. This is exactly what was meant. When you stated about how a good female boss implies instead of telling their employees over and over again. This hits home because I have see other clues but was unable to connect because my lack of experience working with female bosses.

      ~Fish-Ninja

  5. MLaRowe

    First all I can say is thank you again and I hope you do not find my thanks meaningless. I’ve learned a lot here and plan to keep coming back. Secondly, this answer about female bosses may have just helped me answer a personal problem I’ve been having with a woman who is poisoning a support group I’m in so thank you for that also.

    Warm hugs Dear Sir Guy and blessings to you also.

  6. Miss Gina

    Dear Sir Guy,

    Very insightful, and it seems to me that this should apply across the board for women seeking to gain respect in all situations…from romantic to parental.

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