It’s habitual in the modern world. When she feels badly about herself, she blames her man or men if she has no man. We’re each made to feel good about ourselves by ourselves, but modernized women aren’t too keen about accepting that. Feminism teaches that they are victims and someone else is responsible for their feeling bad about themselves: parents, teachers, boyfriend, mate, husband.
A couple’s compatibility starts to end when she blames him. Disagreement sets in, he knows she’s wrong as he’s doing his best, and men don’t intend to lose battles with their woman.
Women are born with two better ways. They easily accept guilt and thereby accept responsibility that naturally avoids blaming others. Whether wife or single, whether bachelorette or emerging teen hopeful, they can charm rather than blame. Both guilt and charm brighten their world, although their ego may be hard to swallow for not blaming someone for egregious offenses.
A woman’s charm starts at the mirror, exploits her prettiness to the max, and curls her thoughts into the conviction that one, few, or more men will find her beautiful. She first makes herself feel great about herself. WADWMUFGAO, and her bedroom mirror does it best.
Successful mating starts there and doesn’t last unless she continues her mirror habits. Why? Because men expect to live with the woman they marry. They expect wife not to change, but they’re not cold. They naturally allow for aging if feminine charm and attractiveness continue as before.
A man rejects blame. He knows he’s doing his best at what he does best, working outside the home as provider/protector etc. He also rejects blame for what happens inside the home; that’s her domain so she needs to get her act together as he sees it. (See Mirror Time at 2123-2127 for details on how to successfully dominate the home and family.)
The scholar’s term is division of labor; I prefer division of responsibility. He provides and she spreads the benefits of coupledom and togetherness. If he doesn’t provide enough, she’s responsible to help. If she doesn’t manage well enough, he’s responsible to help. Blame in either direction is the opposite of help.
She may work outside the home and help him provide, but the principle remains in place. Division of responsibility and respect for the one responsible tends to cancel out the urge to blame and fosters the urge to merge frequently, which is part of her charm that adds sexual enjoyment to their togetherness.