2357. Loose Lips Sink Relationships

Women need a man more than men need a woman. But it’s not evident by the way wives treat husbands.

Unlike men, women tend to change whatever and whomever they find as inadequate—oftentimes parenting husbands as boys.

Women play the men’s game of pursuing sex for its own sake. They steal someone’s husband or boyfriend and expect him to be faithful, after he was just taught the rewards of infidelity.

Women abandon old school wisdom. Instead of affirming him, they focus on husbands’ faults and thus display ingratitude for their man. They abandon old school gratitude in favor of expressing new school popularity for identifying male imperfections to satisfy feminist propaganda.

Female happiness flows from one’s gratefulness. Wives are happy proportional to gratitude for their husband.

Citing a man’s failure to please her as a woman rebounds to her disadvantage. Feelings are a minor item to him, compared to the other more important and manly actions he performs for her. Her complaints about her feelings downgrade his sense of duty, his efforts, and her gratitude for him, or so he reasons.

It’s unwise for a woman to tell her man he’s got too much on his plate of work and obligations. His natural reaction is to prove otherwise, and this expands both his outside interests and commitments. It opens his view to look elsewhere, when previously he had no reason to do so.

Men are simple, direct, and focused on the here and now. Women are more complex communicators, skilled for indirectness, armed with patience, and focused on their future together.

There is very little room for her directness in the domains husband calls his own, such as his job or role as CEO. There is great room for wife in building home and family, when she shapes his role with cooperative indirectness rather than trying to use directness that promotes competition. Someone has to win, and husbands are not famous for allowing wife to win when competition arises between them.

A mom’s easiest and worst mistake is this: Focus on children and relegate husband to playing second fiddle. He can recognize the strength of mother love but he can’t stand having it thrown in his face; he wants to appear to be top dog whether true or not. Consequently, a mom’s greatest dilemma is keeping both kids and husband convinced they rank as number one in her heart. She has no other choice either, but she possesses both the skill and aptitude to handle it. She’s a member of the superior gender, the one with irresistible force that can make the immovable object of male dominance move according to wifely wishes—over time that is.

Her dreams can be toxic. She wants a baby badly before her body clock tells her No! So she feigns unwavering devotion to some man and marries for the wrong reasons. She has already elevated child over spouse—lethal for a lifetime together.

Romance to men means requirement for foreplay. To a woman romance means displays of affection that confirm and reconfirm her value to a man and his sincerity and devotion to her. Men must be taught to do such things her way, and non-sexual and patient indirectness is by far the best method. Timing is also critical, and the earlier in life the better, which makes teen girls critical in the development of romantic men.

Men stopped complimenting women when feminists started calling it sexual harassment. Now, women crave compliments, and most men fear to utter even the most innocent remark.

The acceptability of male dominance is relative in our Judeo-Christian culture. In old school men naturally dominated the present in both society and workplace. Women intuitively dominated the future in both home and culture. Trying to change this strategic reality leads both to breakup and dominance by less-American cultural values and standards, which is where women take modern society and men enjoy the fruits of cheap, easy, and unobligated sex.

When a woman chases a man, she becomes seller to his buyer. By not holding out for him to meet her expectations as the buyer, she cheapens herself. He buys into her eagerness as seller, but then he departs sooner or later. Too much familiarity early in a relationship breeds too little of his respect for her, and so he rejects staying with her very long.

Girls and women bypass the most effective way possible for learning how to screen and qualify men for lasting marriage—by keeping their legs crossed. Denying conquest over time enables a woman to identify each man’s character strengths and weaknesses and measure him against her expectations for marriage. If he refuses to honor a woman’s standards and expectations, he won’t do it later in life either. If he gets aggressive, or treats her disrespectfully, he’s only after sex and not her and isn’t really a Mr. Good Enough.

Hunter-conquerors highly value this as partner candidate:  She’s a difficult target to conquer and one to whom he’s challenged to prove his worth. Hard-to-get adds value. Round heels lowers her value. Thus, women with cheap and easy unmarried sex forfeit their advantage and teach modern men that relationships are, and of masculine right should be, temporary.



Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, feminine

12 responses to “2357. Loose Lips Sink Relationships

  1. Oh, amen to this post! Much wisdom to be found here.

    “Female happiness flows from one’s gratefulness. Wives are happy proportional to gratitude for their husband.” Yep. The more gratitude, praise and appreciation you can pour over your husband, the happier everyone will be and the stronger the attraction. Lifting him up not only makes him feel good, it elevates him in our own eyes and creates desire. In general women are not attracted to men we do not respect and if we focus on faults and flaws we can kill our own desire.

  2. On mothers and wives: from my observations, children and men want to be number one in very different ways. Children need constant little bursts of attention and close contact to make them secure. They test a mother for her ability to comfort them, detect their distress and protect them. Men need a supporter who shows her love through actions. They test a wife for her ability to feed them, assist with tasks and react pleasantly to his statements and physical advances.
    When the family works together, the husband is happy and the children are safe. The children are less insecure about their mother’s affection, so they put less pressure on her to continually prove her ability to protect them. And the husband can receive gifts and assistance from the children as well as his wife. During the baby’s first year this dynamic naturally shifts to favour the baby until it can move a bit on its own… but I’m also pretty sure every father’s brain turns to mush around his 0-12 month old child, so I’m unsure how much they notice this shift.

    Your Highness Superslaviswife,
    Good description of reality.

  3. Maddy

    Dear Sir Guy

    Thank you for this article.

    You say: Her dreams can be toxic. She wants a baby badly before her body clock tells her No.

    What if she is already 37 and unsure of how to discuss the topic adequately with husband – sufficient to “spur him into action”?

    This is my sister’s dilemma – her passive nature prevents her from discussing this subject “properly” with her husband for fear of putting pressure on him. He is certainly who is willing to have kids but quite terrified of their baby changing the wonderful (calm and peaceful!) marriage they have together. He sees other women who have had kids at 38, 39 even 40 and believes it to be “not so hard” to have kids later on but he doesn’t know what those couples are really been through – IVF etc.

    How would you address this? I am really worried for her, she hides her sadness very well around others, but I can see it because I am her sister.


    Your Highness Maddy,

    This is too personal a matter for me. However, I will contribute this.

    His “calm and peaceful” marriage will become uncalm and unpeaceful. Is he ready? Is he devoted enough to please his wife? Do they need money for IVF? What will that do to their lifestyle? Sister can’t just be quiet to keep pressure off him.

    Heck, he married expecting to carry new pressures. Bet he doesn’t know the pressures of sadness that sister undergoes daily by not giving birth. It’s his lifestyle vs. her instinct. They need to talk openly and clearly.


    • jubilee

      My stepdaughter go pregnant WITHOUT IVF at 40.
      Perhaps he sees this and thinks that will happen to them.
      Ive gotten pregnant at 35, just like my aunt on one side of the family, and grandma on the other.
      Also, is it possible this couple shacked up before marriage?
      Or had sex before marriage?

      • Maddy

        Thank you Jubilee

        Your experience is heartening. Hopefully many more women in a similar position are just as lucky. There was no couple shack up before marriage or sex before marriage. I think this is part reason why husband cherishes the time that it is just the two of them together. I would be interested in any further thoughts you have.


    • Maddy

      Thank you Sir Guy. All good advice and understandably it is a very personal matter. I will suggest to her they talk openly and clearly, I don’t believe that to be an unreasonable suggestion on her part.

  4. Boom! Great read! I learned from Guy a long time ago. Women, good women teach men how to be good men. Whom else could get a man up at 5am to go plow the field? Go look at the divorce stats of agricultural farmers. The first time a woman demeans a man alone or in front of someone he is done. Rarely if ever does he come back fully. Many of “today’s” women want to be men and men are way too simple. Women are planning the future while men are simply trying to tie our shoes. Every wonder why men love muscle cars? Didn’t think so. Biggest sexual stimulation a man will ever have and she (the car) responds by whatever action he provides. Love is not a feeling its an action…There is a reason why God made men and he made women. Clearly states God created women to be mans helper. He knew we would need lots of help. He didn’t say women would be subservient. Give a man a kiss on the cheek and a hug unlike any other and watch that tractor plow. (Metaphor)

    Sir Keith,

    Thanks. You really plowed up the field of compatibility for me. Made my blog more meaningful.

    Wish I had said this: “Love is not a feeling it’s an action.”

    Will email personal stuff.


    • surfercajun

      @ Keith

      I saw this acted out… The first time a woman demeans a man alone or in front of someone he is done

      At HomeDepot. Husband and wife looking at paint samples. She about yells at him for picking some in *to much yellow* I could not help but turn around and LOOK at her…. he simply placed it back and stood there. I felt so bad for him! …but had to fight to want to deck her!

      Loved your metaphor of kiss on the cheek and watch that tractor plow…. I saw hearts when I first read it!

    • Cinnamon

      “Go look at the divorce stats of agricultural farmers”
      Wow – so true, isn’t it? Very profound!

      “Many of “today’s” women want to be men”
      They have been socially programmed to believe that by imitating men that makes them “strong” and that to display feminine traits makes them weak. For example, in the Home Depot anecdote Surfercajun recounts below, the wife may have been acting more out of ignorance than malice (Yes, I truly believe that many women confuse “being strong” with “acting like a b****h out of sheer ignorance).

      • Meow Meow

        Yes not especially malice. in my experience very, very few people intentionally try to be mean or cruel. They get frustrated, bellow, or bitch. Doesn’t mean one likes it. But its all part of that 60’s ideal of “Letting your anger out” and now everyone does it, men too, without really knowing why. I try to count to 10 when I’m mad and think if this is really a hill I want to die on! Would I like a selfie taken of me right now? Is it really that important? (On the other hand the man in the example must have let her get away without repercussions many times too…some women unwittingly have trained their men to be passive and then don’t understand why he won’t stand up and make a decision. So the cycle goes on…but is also up to the man to stand up to her, too. The henpecked husband and the hen are both not happy! Hens are often more frustrated than anything else. Passive aggressive begets aggressive and now the couple may not know how to stop. They simply keep acting out.

    • Sharon

      Terrific post, Sir Guy. Descriptively helpful comment, Keith.

    • Cinnamon

      “Love is not a feeling its an action…There is a reason why God made men and he made women. Clearly states God created women to be mans helper. He knew we would need lots of help.”

      In relation to Keith’s comment above – on a different article I mentioned Dick York’s autobiography, “The Seesaw Girl and Me.” I pulled out my copy the other day and was paging through it, and found this passage from near the very end, where Dick addresses his wife Joey directly:

      “Oh Joey. The way you take care of me by making believe that I’m taking care of you….Joey, when you cleaned other people’s toilets, when I was cleaning the stoves and we worked together cleaning those things, making a few bucks here, making a few bucks there, making all the ends meet, we laughed an awful lot, Jo, and you never said, ‘When are you gonna get off your ass, Dick? When are you gonna, when are you gonna, when are you gonna…?’

      Love, Joey. I’ve learned about love, Joey. Not in a book. Not over the radio or in a movie. I’ve watched it in you since I’ve known you. I see my mother in you, and you in her. I see your mother in you, and you in her. And you in Vicki and you in Claudia, and you in….You’re all the girls on all the Wilson Avenue Locals…..Remember how we met, Joey?”

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